Gay Ramblings, Probably

character development disguised as smut my beloved, and this fandom has so much of it. i think i have rec'd all of these before but you did ask for my favourites

Pull Me to the Ground by @somethinglikesawyer [E] [Polytrix] [Ongoing]

“Hey, babe. Been looking everywhere for you.” The voice was low, honeyed, warm in all the right places. It fell over Rumi in a way the man’s voice hadn’t, settling into her bones and gnawing faintly, already leaving impressions on her marrow. And yet another touch, this one lighter, a palm splayed across the small of her back, a second body pressing into hers from behind. “Yeah, we thought we lost you for a sec there.” This voice, a little higher, but no less deadly. Not one, but two strangers. “Can’t you see you’re interrupting something?” the guy snapped at them. “Can’t you see,” the first voice mocked, “she’s not yours?” OR Two women step in when a guy gets pushy with Rumi at a bar. What happens after is meant to be a one-night stand, nothing more. But rarely do things turn out exactly the way they're meant to.

look i said it before but this fic has the best analogy for Rumi's patterns. it fits the narrative and the themes of the movie perfectly, and it even justifies why Mira and Zoey might still be upset about Rumi hiding it.

the smut is stupidly hot, the characters are wonderfully characterised, and the prose is beautifully written. there's really nothing else you could want.

show me (how to love you) by @honestground [E] [Polytrix] [Ongoing]

The client hadn’t really requested anything at all; their emails had been almost overly polite, if not jarringly formal, and had selected only the most vanilla options on the questionnaire she provided. Certainly a far cry from the standard practices of her usual clientele, but this one had paid upfront and picked this expensive hotel, and Mira’s fees are dear enough on their own that she had been coloured intrigued. Mira takes a left down the hallway after leaving the elevator and finds herself at the door to the room. She doesn’t steel herself—doesn’t need to. She can handle anything. Has handled most things. Mira swipes the keycard and lets herself in.  The person sitting on the bed is probably the last thing she expects. In which Mira is a professional, Rumi is socially inept, and Zoey is also there. Let's hope nobody catches feelings. 

the embodiment of "slow burn but they're fucking the whole time". the way information about the characters, particularly Mira and Rumi, are drip fed throughout the fic is masterful

also, Front Desk Zoey is an absolute icon and i think about her every day

Roots by @ghostbitsforkicks [E] [Polytrix] [Complete]

Greedy, Zoey thought breathlessly. Rumi was beautiful and greedy and Zoey loved her so bad it was silly. "We missed you." Just love. Not fear, not panic, not lingering, choking guilt. Mira paused at Rumi's words, standing just behind her. "You missed me?" A murmur as she leaned in, tracing along Zoey's jaw. She stopped with her hand cupping the back of Zoey's neck, nails resting against the skin behind her ear like a threat. "With Zoey inside of you?" - or - Zoey learns how to forgive herself.

this is a fic that deals with Zoey having PTSD after the idol awards and using kink to cope with that. it's heartbreaking, but it's laced with the comedy that ghostbitsforkicks does so well and, as always, holy shit the smut.

Let It Burn Slow by @isufferfromyd [E] [Polytrix] [Ongoing]

Rumi shrugs. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not interested.” “Bummer,” Zoey teases. “I was about to ask you to join us again, but, oh well. If you’re not interested, it can’t be—” “I think I’d like that.” The words slip out before Rumi realises she’s said them. OR Rumi is, at last, ready to accept the invitation to join Mira and Zoey, now that there are no more secrets. A kiss, a touch, a taste… and then so much more. What begins as a careful exploration turns into lingering gazes, soft touches, whispered breaths, and a heat that refuses to be contained. Every caress teeters between curiosity and craving, but as their touches grow bolder, memories of being exposed on stage flare, causing panic that makes it hard to fully surrender. Trust becomes a trembling act, but with Mira's and Zoey’s patience, she learns to let herself be wanted, to let desire and vulnerability coexist, and to discover that intimacy can be safe and healing. The line between friendship and something more begins to blur, leaving nothing quite the same again. OR Rumi finally says yes to Zoey’s nth offer to join them in bed. Realising Rumi’s inexperience, they start slow, exploring in shared safety. Gay panic and actual panic ensue.

the whole concept of this fic is Rumi having intimacy issues after the idol awards and not knowing how to handle that, or handling it at all. so far it isn't as heavy on the smut as the others listed here and is instead much heavier on the angst.

as you may expect from the title, this is a slower burn, and i'm so excited

an impossible greed to stomach by @unicyclehippo [E] [Polytrix] [Ongoing]

When Mira says something she maybe (definitely) shouldn't in the throes of passion, it leads to a surprising confession from Rumi. Rumi, who can and does come. Rumi, who can and does come only when she is alone and at her own hand...and who would like to be able to eventually come with her girlfriends and under their tender (and enthusiastic) attention. // The rest of Rumi's words are lost in a mumble. 'What was that?' 'She said,' Zoey translates again, seeming delighted to be the conveyor of good news, 'that it was fine! When you asked her to come inside of you,' she adds, in case Mira had forgotten. She hadn't. And neither had the rest of her body, which gives another delicious full-body shiver at the thought.

another examination of Rumi having intimacy issues, but this time to the flavour of her having a very active sex life but not allowing Mira or Zoey to touch her even though she wants to. it's less a look at trauma (currently, anyway?) and more a look at how shame impacts Rumi's sexuality and the ways they try and work through it with her

One of them is Mira’s family, who try to guilt trip her into bringing her daughters to meet them. Her brother, it seems, is infertile, and the only way now for the family to continue on is through Mira’s children.

Mira tacitly refuses, and the Kangs ultimately receive a series of restraining orders court orders to cease any further attempts at contacting Mira or her children or wives.

The other party is Zoey’s family, particularly her mother (her father’s family is aware of her daughters, and has been keeping them secret from both her father and her mother’s family). She wants to meet her granddaughters. She can’t believe Zoey wouldn’t tell her about them. She is Zoey’s mother after all.

Zoey sends her a letter back that details exactly why she’ll never meet her daughters, going into great depth about the neglect she suffered from her mother, along with an extremely detailed drawing of herself flipping her mother off. “Go fuck yourself” is the sign off message of the letter.

Polytrix pillow fort

and the girls info dumping on the best routes and everyone is just like ???? because wdym? these girls are taken every and anywhere all the time.

"how do you know so much about it?"

zoey *whispering*: we really didnt think this through huh?

(glorian shieldheart, so revered as the greatest berethnet queen, she who banished fyredel and won the grief of ages, and she was a child. igrain brings her up as reason for sabran to marry a 70 year old man the same way robert pressed glorian to marry guma. both igrain and robert were pushing them into marriages for their own gain. glorian only married him for the fortune he brought.

her daughter sabran XI, technically a bastard the same way sabran the magnificent is. her daughter, who glorian never wanted but still loved with all her heart, who wed a lady of her bedchamber when she abdicated.

the first warlord of seiiki, so mysterious, so strong, so brave, a grieving woman who lost every family member close to her and the woman she loved. a grieving woman who was determined to avenge everyone she lost. a grieving woman who rose from the ashes of her father determined to be better.

Naturally, this also results in Poppy sometimes bragging about Rumi to Zoey, which means that she’ll brag about something Zoey already knows about.

Like talking about how Rumi just had a wonderful vow renewal ceremony and Zoey’s like “Wow, sounds cool. What are her wives like?”

“Eh, one of them’s a little annoying sometimes, but we love her regardless.”

“Ah, she’s too energetic and loud?”

“Who says I was talking about the little one?”

(Poppy gets tackled for that one.)

Or,

“Rumi just released a new single.”

“Oh? Solo?”

“No, a group single.”

“Oh yeah? How’d you like it?”

“It was really good, but I’m going to nitpick all of the lyrics extensively to you now.”

“I hate you so much.”

The Trixlings see this and roll their eyes because “Mom and Granpoppy are wrestling again!”

The Little Lights (Hayun and Nayoon and kind of Rumi group name) watch them with utter fascination. They’re completely unsure of why the two of them brag to one another about stuff they already know, but it is funny to watch them wrestle.

like, they know she’s in a band, but they think it’s one of middling popularity. her stepfather asks her how her “little band friends” are doing. her stepbrother jokes that “who knows, zo, maybe your music might make it on the radio one day” (it has. in fact, one of her songs came on while her mom and halmeoni were making food in the kitchen earlier. zoey just didn’t point it out). her stepsister makes a snide comment about whether or not her music is worth listening to. her halmeoni scoffs and says that she needs to find something better to do or else she’ll never make money. her mother doesn’t say anything, but zoey knows her silence speaks volumes.

meanwhile, zoey is already one of the most famous people in korea at this point. she has 1/3 ownership of one of the largest towers in seoul. she’s actively waiting to hear back about an award she (and her alone) may be nominated for for songwriting for the very song that played on the radio earlier.

she is 18.

she doesn’t tell them about this, partly because she’s always found the “look at me now” in your face kind of revenge to be cringy, and partly because she doesn’t want them asking for anything.

the amount of nights she was left abandoned by her mother to make her own food when she was only 10 years old. the fact her stepfather didn’t even know about her until he and her mother were a month away from the wedding, and he didn’t care that his wife had been hiding her from him. the ways her halmeoni spit vitriol at her for years. her stepsiblings’ bullying of her from the moment they met.

she doesn’t owe them shit.

halfway through dinner, she gets a call from bobby. she excuses herself to take it. her halmeoni shakes her head about how rude it is. her stepfather has been called away from the table three times at this point, and she only ever smiled and gushed about how successful her son in law was.

she got the nomination. almost everyone knows she’s a shoo in to win it. this award is one of the most prestigious songwriting awards in korea. she is 18.

she knows she must look like the cheshire cat when she returns to the table.

“what are you so pleased about?” her stepbrother asks.

zoey’s in such a good move that she throws out reason number 1 for not telling them, and decides to just have self control for reason number 2. “that was a call from my manager.”

her stepsister rolls her eyes. “what? did you find out you sold your second ticket to a show?”

zoey’s smile somehow widens. “no. i just found out i got a songwriting nomination from one of the most well respected music organizations in korea.”

the activity around the table slows down. her family (well, everyone except her younger half-siblings, who don’t really know what’s going on; she makes a note to put aside some money for them, and them only) all stare at her in disbelief. “is it an organization that specializes in lesser known musicians?” her stepbrother asks, struggling for something to latch onto.

“no,” zoey shakes her head smugly. “i’m not a lesser known musician.”

her stepsister frowns. “a few hundred people buying your song doesn’t make you well known.”

“what about a few million?” zoey asks her. “like, 20, 30,” she pauses to think, “50 million?”

her family’s shock unsettles them from their seats. “what?” her mother asks.

“sorry. i’m underselling it.” zoey takes a sip of her water. “it’s 50 million sales on our single, 5 billion streams.” she shrugs. “my mistake.”

there’s a collective sputter around the table. “j-just because you’ve had one song go platinum-”

“5,” zoey interjects her stepsister. “5 songs. this is just the first one they nominated for this particular award. and guess what?” she turns to her stepbrother. “you did hear it on the radio earlier, jason. it was that one song you were whistling along to in the kitchen.”

her stepbrother’s face pales.

five voices ring out with questions asked over one another. before she can answer any of them, her phone rings again. it’s rumi’s ringtone, but she knows mira will be there, too.

she decides it’s far more important right now to speak to the two people who love her most in the world (even if they still haven’t talked about exactly what kind of love that is) then the people who made her feel like shit for years.

zoey leaves the table to take the call without excusing herself.

one such question they get is what flavor chapstick they all use. mira’s is fairly simple (watermelon), but zoey and rumi both use chapstick from this one brand that has funky names for their flavors that don’t actually specify what it is, and oftentimes include multiple different flavors mixed together. so they tell the host that they’re not actually sure what the flavors are.

except mira cuts in and runs down the exact flavors are in each of their chapsticks.

zoerumi stare at her in shock. she’s not sure why until the host laughs and says “oh! did you get the same chapsticks as them?”

mira freezes. right. nobody’s supposed to know that three of them have been making out casually(?) for years now.

she laughs it off. “yup. i was curious about them because rumi and zoey loved them so much.”

greedy

[Source]

truth over solace in lies

finished one of the most amazing reading experiences in my recent memory! these two are my very favourites.

And let's not forget about