My Life

I cant think. Why am I fat? Why am I the way I am? Why am I a disappointment to everyone? Why is everything so out of reach? Why am I alive and not thriving? I work so hard but it’s like it’s not enough. Am I even enough to still breathe the same air as everyone else? Am I enough to still be loved by someone? Someone that I feel that I don’t deserve. Someone who I feel that if I make one mis-step everything is gonna be gone in an instant. Why is everything like this? Why am I like this? I do not hate myself but I hate myself for being like this. I do not want to be here and have the same constant smile that I know there is no meaning. There is so much hope in the world but there’s no hope in me.