Helena Rune

So, what will years of extreme elimination diets, exercise and abusing your body for a dream get you?  Apparently, I have finally reached my physical limit!  After working out for 4 hours yesterday, not eating all week and staying up to late every single night for 3 years, I suffered a blackout that put me in the hospital.  Lets get real, I didn’t just forget to eat 4 days a week for 3 years, I am anorexic.  I’m not vegan because of my fight against animal cruelty, I’m selfish! That’s right I was on a mission. All those images of beautiful women in fashion magazines that, I ohhh’d and awed over growing up, I achieved my goal!  I look just like them and I will pay the price for the ignorant dedication.  Doc says, I have weakened the artery walls around my heart and I am now at risk for aneurysms.  Tomorrow is my 17th Birthday!

Walked the runway all day yesterday, flew all night to get home and now, I am heading to do an interview.  Weeks of prepping for yesterdays show has left me starving, with a killer migraine. I just want to spend time with my family or on the sofa binging on popcorn and Twinkies!  Does anyone understand, everyone needs a break? Someone rescue me from this horrid nightmare of my own making!  

In the industry, you have to be in places, with people whom you will never relate to. Sure, you can laugh together, hangout together, shop and perform together. It sickens me to think little girls grow up with these dreams, this was my dream. To walk a runway, to be on the cover of Vogue, if they only knew. This life can be such a nightmare, the fake smiles from those who would rip the contracts, men, and red carpet out from under you in the blink of an eye... Its not a friendly rivalry and people aren't what they seem, me included!

I keep telling myself, this is what you wanted girl, suck it up but then I wonder, is this even still my dream or am I just living in a nightmare someone else created?