The lonely elf

Hey. This blog’s now a year old. And we hit 3,000 followers on the same day, so we figured we’d do something fun. Here’s 100 NSFW questions we’ve come up with. Send in some numbers and you get your answer.

First kiss?

First time masturbating?

First sex toy?

First kink tried?

First time doing oral?

First time having sex? Turn Ons

Biggest turn on?

Biggest turn off?

Quickest way to get horny?

Weirdest thing that ever turned you on?

Top 3 places to be touched?

Ultimate fantasy?

Do you like the idea of a three or moresome?

Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them? Preferences

Sex or masturbation?

Spit or swallow?

Cut or uncut dicks?

Rough or sensual sex?

Oldest person you’d sleep with?

Loud or quiet partners?

How much foreplay do you like?

How much teasing do you like?

What is too big for you to take?

Do you do hookups or only sleep with a partner?

How much kissing do you like during sex?

What’s the most attractive part of the body? Location

Favourite place to have sex?

Would you have sex in public?

Last place you had sex?

Where would you most like to have sex?

Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood?

Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house? Kinks

What’s your biggest kink?

What’s your limit?

Are you okay with name calling in bed?

Would you do any BDSM?

Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up?

Favourite type of bondage?

Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm?

Do you like overstimulation?

Do you like having pain involved?

Do you like biting/being bitten?

Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it?

Do you have any strange or extreme kinks?

Have any roleplaying preferences?

Send a kink with this number. Do you have that kink? Masturbation

Do you own sex toys? How many?

Favourite Sex Toy?

What do you masturbate to?

How often do you masturbate?

How often do you use sex toys to masturbate?

Do you masturbate with penetration?

Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms? Oral

Do you enjoy giving oral?

Do you prefer giving or receiving oral?

What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral?

Do you have a preferred technique for giving oral?

Can you deepthroat? For people with dicks…

How long and how thick is it?

Do you do anal? Top or bottom?

Are you circumcised?

Do you like your balls being played with?

Do you enjoy prostate stimulation? Ever came from it?

Where do you like to finish? For people with vaginas…

Do you like playing with your clit?

How do you prefer to do it?

What’s your breast size?

How often do you go braless?

Do you finger yourself?

How familiar are you with your g-spot?

Do you squirt? Sex

Favourite position?

How often do you do unprotected sex?

How loud are you in bed?

Do you enjoy having nipples played with?

Do you like/dislike/love/hate cum?

How good are you at dirty talk?

Do you get sleepy after an orgasm? Other

Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie?

Do you masturbate or have sex with clothes on?

What’s your favourite style of underwear?

Are stockings/thigh highs a turn on?

Ever had somebody say no to a kink you suggested trying?

Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? How do you prefer partners?

How many orgasms can you have in a day?

How many other people know your dick/bra size?

What do you wear to bed?

Do you eat ass? Do you like having your ass eaten?

Try to describe how orgasm feels for you.

Have you ever been to a strip club? How was it? If not, would you? Fun questions!

Do you name your genitalia?

What would be your stripper name?

Any funny sex stories?

What food if any would you use during sex?

Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift?

What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen?

Do you often get horny in public?

Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom?

Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on?

Heledh frowned and tilted her head to the side at the others words, trying to process them without looking as though she had no idea what was going on, though she most certainly didn’t. She nodded slowly “What area are you from?” She asked, trying to figure out how best to help this person. The last thing she wanted was being taken in front of the King who surely wouldn’t take kindly to a stranger

“This is where I grew up” She admitted “Though that is not why I’m here. I’m here to try and get my friends out of the cells” She gestured in the general direction of the dwarves in their cells

“Though I would love to help you, if I can”

“It’s fine if you’re confused. Hearing someone say. “I’m from the future!” Ain’t exactly something you hear often… For what’s it’s worth, I do appreciate you listening regardless, ma’am. Thank you very much for that. Now, that aside… I’m none too sure. When I got here the first thing I did was to try and get a lay of land to figure that very thing out.”

“I recognized nothing, which only has one real conclusion; I’m in a world different from my own altogether.” The worry in Liliana’s voice could be heard as clear as day, but at the very least, the young Hero tried her best to put on an air of calm, even if was fake.

She nodded “I can distract the guards, I have many years experience at that” She admitted with a soft laugh escaping her lips, she looked up at where the nearest guard was, who luckily wasn’t near them yet 

Heledh tilted her head to the side, looking her costume up and down. Not that the elves around here weren’t dressed ridiculously enough if you didn’t know the fashion of the place

“Where are you from?” She asked, moving off the winding paths that lead through the palace, perhaps that way they wouldn’t end up being questioned by the guards who were on edge by the arrival of the dwarves

She wasn’t sure how the other… person, she didn’t know what species they were after all, had gotten in, though it wouldn’t be the first time that someone had gotten into the palace without anyone else knowing

She seemed on edge, though it was obvious that was because she was worried about being caught out on whatever she was doing, rather than feeling threatened by the others presence

“The future.” Liliana said casually as she followed right beside her. “Was doing my job of protecting my city, then the bozo I was fighting did some weird fake magic junk, at least it’s usually fake. There was this rock the museum had gotten, right? For whatever reason it started to react to what Mysterio was doing. Next thing I knew, I’m flung back to King Arthur times. If there’s one plus side though? Swinging from trees is a lot easier now~ But uh…I’d very much like to get back home…”

“This is where I grew up” She admitted “Though that is not why I’m here. I’m here to try and get my friends out of the cells” She gestured in the general direction of the dwarves in their cells

       Ark was so very tired of it all. The fighting,  the dark words, the sickness that lingered in the air. When Bilbo had finally liberated her it she felt she could finally shine again. Thranduil had left guards around the tend to protect the stone while he and the others left to sort a few things out.

      Finally alone, she left her form shift into that of a living being. While with Smaug she had taken a similar shape, just golden in hue. Now a a silvery light glowed from her hair, and skin. A dress formed from light around her and she sat with a heavy thump into the chair next to her.

She let out a soft chuckle, a sound that had not passed her lips for a while now, she didn’t remember the last time she had laughed so freely and truthfully. It was an amazing feeling “I’m assuming he’s figuring out what to do” She sighed and looked over to the tent flap, she’d always been stuck to her loyalty to her family and her loyalty to the dwarves, ever since she had joined the company

She let out a sigh at the question “He’s…” She tried to think how to word it “He doesn’t trust anyone up there. He won’t listen to anything anyone tells him” When she had first met Thorin, they’d almost started fighting in the Shire, that felt like lifetimes ago, but she’d slowly earned the stubborn dwarf’s trust, all for it to be thrown away

“I think a part of him thinks that I stole the stone, or I guess you” He’d never said it, but the way he treated her had changed when he found out that Bilbo had never found the Arkenstone

         “That sounds a great deal like Thror in the end. I remember the darkness that radiated from his heart, the sickness there. Dragon Tainted gold will always bring them down. But there is hope for him yet. He has a strong heart.” Ark took a slow breath and hummed softly.

          “As for how I am here… Can I trust that you will not hurt him?” She had grown ever so fond of the Hobbit. He was kind and gentle soul that she’d hate to see hurt in any way. “Bilbo is only doing what he thought was right, and he is correct.”

“I won’t hurt him” She promised, the hobbit had grown on her, more than she’d thought possible when she had reluctantly agreed to join the company “He was right to do so” She agreed “But I have no doubt that Thorin will be furious when he discovers his treachery” It wasn’t treachery in her eyes, but in Thorin’s, when he was in this state, it most certainly would be

       Ark was so very tired of it all. The fighting,  the dark words, the sickness that lingered in the air. When Bilbo had finally liberated her it she felt she could finally shine again. Thranduil had left guards around the tend to protect the stone while he and the others left to sort a few things out.

      Finally alone, she left her form shift into that of a living being. While with Smaug she had taken a similar shape, just golden in hue. Now a a silvery light glowed from her hair, and skin. A dress formed from light around her and she sat with a heavy thump into the chair next to her.

She let out a sigh at the question “He’s...” She tried to think how to word it “He doesn’t trust anyone up there. He won’t listen to anything anyone tells him” When she had first met Thorin, they’d almost started fighting in the Shire, that felt like lifetimes ago, but she’d slowly earned the stubborn dwarf’s trust, all for it to be thrown away 

Open RP

Heledh had arrived in Mirkwood with the company of dwarves, and hadn’t been locked up, after all she supposed it helped that her grandfather was the King of this place, though she knew that he was furious that she had run off and decided to help Thorin Oakenshield of all people in his quest to regain Erebor

She was walking along the pathways, no doubt hoping to head down to the cells and find some way to free the others in the company. She made sure to avoid all of the places where the guards were patrolling, she had spent enough days of her childhood running through the palace, making sure that she wasn’t caught

“Nope…sure as hell ain’t in New York anymore… Okay, lets review the events that lead up to now… Was fighting Mysterio, was kicking his nerd backside in, he worked some weird magic, there was a bright light from some equally weird rock…and here we are.”

“For now, it might be best to just stay in costume. Can’t be too sure…” Liliana felt it best to survey the area to get a better feel for where she was. That was…less than fruitful, but at the very least she noticed the castle. That, if nothing else, gave her a general feel for whatever year she was flung into. With no other available options she began making her way towards the castle. Along the way she noticed Heledh, assuming they were a princess or the like, she decided to quietly follow in hopes of asking a few questions…that was until the woman came to a halt and looked directly in her direction…

"Where are you from?" She asked, moving off the winding paths that lead through the palace, perhaps that way they wouldn't end up being questioned by the guards who were on edge by the arrival of the dwarves

She wasn't sure how the other... person, she didn't know what species they were after all, had gotten in, though it wouldn't be the first time that someone had gotten into the palace without anyone else knowing

       Ark was so very tired of it all. The fighting,  the dark words, the sickness that lingered in the air. When Bilbo had finally liberated her it she felt she could finally shine again. Thranduil had left guards around the tend to protect the stone while he and the others left to sort a few things out.

      Finally alone, she left her form shift into that of a living being. While with Smaug she had taken a similar shape, just golden in hue. Now a a silvery light glowed from her hair, and skin. A dress formed from light around her and she sat with a heavy thump into the chair next to her.

She’d gone past the guards before they could say anything, hadn’t bothered to see if there was anything that would give a clue as to where he’d wandered off to

She’d come down from the mountain, well after being thrown out, perhaps that was too harsh of a word, but Thorin certainly hadn’t tolerated her presence for long when he’d regained the mountain

          “I am that which Thorin seeks.” letting a soft sigh pass her lips she stood and noted she was just a fair bit shorter than the girl before her. “The Arkenstone.” she allowed the light in her eyes to flash brightly before all light vanished leaving behind bright red hair and deep blue eyes. 

“How come you’re down here and not up there?” She asked but her voice was curious. She’d sensed the growing sickness within Thorin and it broke her heart to see the dwarf she’d slowly grown to care for, who she’d gradually grown the trust of, throw it all away for jewel

       Ark was so very tired of it all. The fighting,  the dark words, the sickness that lingered in the air. When Bilbo had finally liberated her it she felt she could finally shine again. Thranduil had left guards around the tend to protect the stone while he and the others left to sort a few things out.

      Finally alone, she left her form shift into that of a living being. While with Smaug she had taken a similar shape, just golden in hue. Now a a silvery light glowed from her hair, and skin. A dress formed from light around her and she sat with a heavy thump into the chair next to her.

She’d gone past the guards before they could say anything, hadn’t bothered to see if there was anything that would give a clue as to where he’d wandered off to

She’d come down from the mountain, well after being thrown out, perhaps that was too harsh of a word, but Thorin certainly hadn’t tolerated her presence for long when he’d regained the mountain

Bofur leaned back and took a long draw on his pipe. “A night like this: with a good pipe, a warm meal in the stomach, and good company such as yourself, that makes a dwarf glad to be alive.”

❛ 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓.

- Single muse

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