RMH
Misplaced Lens Cap
trying on a metaphor

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JBB: An Artblog!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Andulka
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YOU ARE THE REASON

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

ā
noise dept.
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Discoholic šŖ©
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@heisenson

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been defrosting my love for flynn for the past few days. feels good man
it looks like things are pretty dead on here but i miss writing with you guys! iād love do some writing on discord so add me on there ( methriver#9809 ) if you want!
@jpinkmanbtch | sc.
itās a quiet suburban afternoon and flynn is bored, he sits on the couch flipping through the cable channels, AC blasting in order to combat the dense albuquerque heat. thereās nothing good on, but at least his parents arenāt home, which means he can do as he pleases and not have anybody bother him.Ā
heās contemplating retreating to his room in favor of video games when the doorbell rings --- quickly followed by a few harsh knocks on the door. he grabs his crutches that were set beside him and raises from his seat. flynn makes his way to the door quickly, and swings it open.Ā
the face in front of him isnāt one thatās familiar, he wonders if the guy is here to sell something, or maybe heās just lost. brows come together to help him form an inquisitive expression,Ā ā can i --- can i help you? āĀ

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Tyler, The Creator - 911/Mr. Lonely.
painmadeā
JESSEāS USUALLY UP at odd hours of the night, typically either because heās unable to sleep or because nightmares are too frequent and heād rather not wake up in the middle of a panic attack for the third time in a week. So, heās awake when a car pulls into his driveway, blasting music, and he knows immediately that itās Flynn.Ā
He opens the door and seems surprised to see the boy in such a state, having been half-expecting him to be coming here just to kick Jesseās ass for something he remembered or realized after their conversation. He holds up a hand like he doesnāt need an explanation. He knows what itās like to feel that way.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āCome on in. I was just about to make some tea, want some?āĀ
flynn is thankful that jesse welcomes him back into the house --- the walls of theĀ hotel room heād been staying in felt as though they were closing in on him inch by inch. he hadnāt expected jesse to be awake, but flynn too had spent nights forgoing sleep just to avoid bad dreams. he wishes he wouldāve considered that a few hours ago.Ā
as he looks at jesse, his eyes are almost shameful. heās not prepared for jesse to see him in this state, but thereās no other choice, besides staying alone and driving himself crazy.Ā ā thanks, ā it comes out low and uneven as he moves past jesse and into the living area. flynn plops himself down in the same spot heād been in last time, he barely pays attention to setting his crutches somewhere.
ā teaās uh --- fine, ā a hand runs over his face as he tries to regulate his breathing, and does his best to shake away the the feelings that his nightmare had left behind.Ā
Ā what body part are you ?
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā H E A R T
A heart in a cynical sense feels nothing, it simply carries through all the blood, all the oxygen, all the components the other parts that do feel need. An ugly organ, misshapen and strange when held in the palm of your hand. Yet, it is the centre of your being. It is the core. Even when you try to act unaffected, it is your heart that gives you away, skipping a beat, fluttering in excitement, halting dead in terror. You have so much of it to give, you just havenāt learned to discern who is and isnāt worthy of it yet. Hold onto it. Do not whittle it down, carve names into the flesh that you cannot erase. Remain patient, remain astute, and remain loving.
tagged by: @fullyfungiā and @absolutehorrorā
tagging: you!!
@fullyfungiā | sc.Ā
his eyes dart around, semi cautious, although there arenāt that many people around, and thereās no real reason for him to be too cautious about it. he leans in toward luke, brown hues filled curiosity, the corner of his lip turns up to form a smirk,Ā ā so --- those fungus things you grow, are they just regular mushrooms, or the other kind? āĀ
@painmadeā | sc.Ā
heās been in this town much too long. but he canāt bring himself to leave. this place is getting to him now, seeping into his bones and causing them to ache. flynn hadnāt had a nightmare in so long --- heād almost forgotten what it felt like to wake up in a cold sweat and reach for a breath that he couldnāt quite catch, all while the distorted images of his past fell from the forefront of his mind, lurching back to the deepest depths of it. he can barely even recall how he got to jesseās front door, thereās only the hazy memory of the car ride over, and the music pounding through his car unbelievably loud so that he didnāt have to be left with his own thoughts.Ā
his fists pounds on jesseās door, fast and frantic, like heās running away from something. jesse answers. flynn is still breathing heavily, distraught, he has trouble finding words,Ā ā i --- iām sorry i just, ā he hangs his head,Ā ā i --- i canāt be a --- alone right now. āĀ

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hey!! do you accept IMs
yup!! iām always up to chat with yaāll!
hereās another starter call :)
i caved and made him a wire :)
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND SENTENCE STARTERS quotes pulled from the 2004 film. feel free to make alterations.
today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.
i ditched work today.
i guess i just woke up in a funk this morning.
why do i fall in love with every woman i see, who shows me the least bit of attention
okay if i sit closer?
iām a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
iām a little out of sorts today.
youāre not a stalker or anything, right?
iām sorry if i came off sorta nutso. iām not, really.
did you wanna have a drink?
drink up, young man. itāll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
my life isnāt that interesting - i go to work, i come home. donāt know what to say.
iām not wasting one second of the little time i have.
iām gonna marry you.
you should stay.
show me which constellations you know.
i donāt want to seem desperate.
weāve got a very long night ahead of us.
i assume you fucked someone tonight. isnāt that how you get people to like you?
i canāt believe you did this to me.
i donāt wanna hear this shit!
i want to have a baby.
do you really think you could take care of a kid?
i can never the fuck understand what youāre saying.
i donāt wanna talk about this!
itās you who canāt commit to anything!j
maybe i should end this right here!
you donāt tell me things. iām an open book. i tell you everything, every damn embarrassing thing.
you donāt trust me.
constantly talking isnāt necessarily communicating.
do you love me?
iām lost, iām scared, i feel like iām disappearing.
nothing makes any sense.
canāt believe iām crying already.
sometimes i think people donāt understand how lonely it is to be a kid.
donāt ever leave me.
iām just happy. iāve never felt that before.
iām just exactly where i wanna be.
just tell me everything you remember.
i want to go home.
sweetie, calm down.
thereās nothing wrong with you.
youāre the most wonderful person iāve ever met.
why canāt you see i love you?
iāve loved you for a very long time.
this is a one-time mistake!
didnāt figure youād show your face around me again.
iād like to, um, take you out or something.
iām telling you right off the bat. iām high maintenance.
if you wanna be with me, youāre with me.
i still thought you were gonna save my life, even after that.
it would be different if we could just give it another go around.
i had these fantasies of us being married and having kids.
i remember being drawn to you even then.
i wish youād stayed.
i saw you talking to somebody pretty.
i take it youāre not coming back.
do you swear you didnāt know?
i feel like youāre mad at me, and i donāt know what i did.
i love you so much. iāll do anything to make you happy.
tell me what you want me to do, and iāll do it.
i had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life last night.
i donāt like myself when iām with him.
i donāt like myself anymore.
i canāt stand to even look at him.
are you screwing with me?
iām sorry i yelled at you.
the worldās a goddamn mess.
it really hurts me that you said that.
iām sorry about all this.
i donāt really think i can be here.
i thought i knew her so well, but i donāt know her at all.
what a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that sheās a stranger.
iām not a concept. iām just a fucked-up girl whoās looking for my own peace of mind.
i canāt see anything that i donāt like about you.
iāll get bored with you and feel trapped, because thatās what happens with me.
absolutehorrorā
Ā Ā Ā evenĀ thoughĀ mariĀ reallyĀ didĀ thinkĀ hisĀ dadĀ wasĀ aĀ bit . .Ā Ā odd,Ā Ā mariĀ trulyĀ didnātĀ mind.Ā itĀ wasĀ niceĀ toĀ beĀ inĀ aĀ houseĀ whereĀ theĀ mainĀ eventĀ wasĀ oddĀ discussionsĀ aboutĀ mold.Ā Ā Ā aĀ softĀ giggleĀ asĀ heĀ mentionsĀ tacoĀ bell.Ā Ā Ā Ā āĀ iĀ co āĀ couldĀ reallyĀ goĀ fā forĀ someĀ cinnamonĀ twĀ āĀ twistsĀ rightĀ aboutĀ now.Ā Ā ā
his dad had always been a little odd --- it never bothered flynn before, in fact, there were times when it was something he appreciated. lately though, his behavior began to be more and more weird. flynn pushes it to the back of his mind, instead thinking about sharing cinnamon twists with mari.Ā
he chuckles softly,Ā Ā ā you know what i could go for? a baja blast. that sounds aw --- awesome. iād probably pay like, a million dollarsĀ for it if i had to. āĀ

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painmadeā
HE APPRECIATES FLYNNāS willingness to ease into what promises to be a very difficult conversation for both of them. He wouldnāt have blamed the kid if heād decided to just jump right in, ask the hard-hitting questions.Ā
The strangest part of this whole experience is the way Walterās son seems to treat Jesse; the fact that he doesnāt outright hate him. Or, at least, if he does, heās very good at hiding it. He wasnāt expecting to face someone with any kind of empathy for his situation, no matter how minute; heād been expecting to have to defend himself more than anything.Ā
For some reason, this is a much harder situation to deal with.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āHe, uh, he blackmailed me.āĀ
Jesse scoffs a little, looking past Flynn and at the front window at the frost beginning to collect against the wooden windowpane.Ā
Ā Ā Ā āHe saw me running from the DEA after a bust his brother-in-law was doing, and looked my name up in the school system and came to my house that night, tellinā me that if I didnāt teach him how to cook and sell that heād turn me in.āĀ
flynn isnāt just doing it for jesseās sake, despite the fact that heād come all this way, and wanted to fill these gaps so desperately, he was scared now --- fear was welling up in him as the seconds passed. he didnāt know what he was more afraid of, hearing more horrible things about his father, or getting to know so much more about jesse.Ā
flynn regarded him with a strange indifference, hate stood in itās place for a long time, some of it did still reside within him, and maybe it always would. it would be so easy to write jesse off as a villian in this story, to think that he was just as bad as his father and leave it at that. but flynn couldnāt bring himself to do it. sitting across from jesse, he can see a fragile humanity in him --- he can recognize that hurt, which flynn can relate to more than heād like to admit. itās becoming more and more clear each time jesse speaks, like fog lifting from a windshield.Ā
jesse was like a boogeyman. thereās blind fear first, leaving on lights and checking under the bed so that he wonāt be harmed in the night, and then, as he grows older, he realizes thereās no one hiding under the bed, and no one waiting to catch him in the dark. itās just flynn, all alone in that darkness. still, he doesnāt think heād want to be friends with the boogeyman.Ā
he listens as jesse explains, and part of him still canāt believe this is what his father was doing while he was worrying about getting an a in science. he shakes his head slowly, a frown forming on his features,Ā ā sound --- sounds like you were in deep shit, ā a pause, as the urge to know more about jesseās past besides his work with heisenberg tugs at him,Ā ā so, whyād you wanna sell drugs in the first place? i mean, besides the money. āĀ
money was the main reason his dad started out. though it was obvious now that jesse was very different from his dad, and heād been so precisely manipulated by him, just as flynn and his family had been, there were still so many lines yet to be drawn. did they have the same greed? flynn doesnāt know how desperate heād have to be to resort to working that far outside of the law. but, maybe thatās one of the ways him and jesse are very different.Ā
i saw that āunnecessarily detailed dislikesā thing and while iām too lazy to do that i will say that flynn does not like being called junior. itās definitely his least favorite nickname. heāll let his parents call him that, hank and marie too because he knows he canāt stop them anyway, but if youāre not them and you call him junior he gon be real annoyed.