Using a tumblr account solely to harass or make fun of someone is such immature behavior. Using slurs and insulting others when they call you out is genuinely so disrespectful. Stop making the tumblr community more toxic than it already was.
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idk if i ended up sending this ask in, but could we get the circus dividers in alternating pastel pink, purple, yellow and blue? sorry if that's not possible lol, have a good one regardless i love ur dividers âĄ
I'm pretty sure you've sent this in before, just added yellow this time around lol. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this little pastel circus (:
Please credit @pixopix, likes and reblogs are appreciated!
Hi!! First of all I just wanna say that I absolutely LOVE your dividers, they're so pretty đ„°đ„° I was just wondering if you could maybe make some with cameras? Thank you so much!!
hi there love! and thank you so much đ„čâ„ïž
but of course I can, here you go! I hope you like them, and thanks for your patience â„ïž
please like and credit if you use, reblogs are appreciated! thank you! đ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Bro⊠Iâve seen all hour yesterday and we took photos and stuff blah blah yeah anyways Xayden said I looked so good and pretty, I literally tripped in front of him after he said that and forgot everything I was supposed to be doing, lord I am not your strongest soldiers
I only say that because I needed to fan girl đ itâs been a whole day and I havenât been able to stop thinking of it
Summary : Your friend invited you to party on Halloween you were especially excited to go, but she begged you anyways.
âtlahuelpuchiâ
You were invited to a party by your friend yuri, you and yuri have known each other for a couple of years as a 3rd year in college now she was a 4th year.
âEveryoneâs going you should too.â Yuri stated
âYou donât even like parties-the amount of times Iâve asked you to go and you would always say âI donât like parties or I have studying to doââ you mocked her.
âYeah but apparently it supposed to be a big party plus in a castle all the way across town, plus the park brothers are hosting it.â She stated she aways did have a thing for jay.
âUhhh I donât know, donât you have to be invited to these things?â You said walking back to your car.
âYeah but I got one so we should goâ she glammed holding up the black and red decorated envelope.
âUhhh I think itâs per inviteâŠâ you throw it off as you saw a similar envelope with your name on it on your car window.
âStrangeâŠâ you whispered looking around to how could have put it on your car. But no one was around.
âOH My GOSH, you got one too.â Yuri screamed taking the envelope from your hand.
Reading the letter in side.
â you are cordially invited, to the gala at the park manor. To celebrate Samhain.â
Attire elegant time midnight
Attendance mandatory â
âWho do you think they are that they can make attendance mandatory â you rolled your eyes at the letter something didnât seem right when you touched it.
âWell Duh they are The Park Brothers they know exactly who they think they are.â She giggled getting in the car.
You looked around once more as the autumn wind blew pass you, freezing the tip of your nose as you closed your eyes still not seeing anyone.
Driving back to the dorm as you dropped yuri off and going back to your dorm.
As the party date approaches you where drowned in school and finishing up mid terms you didnât think you were going to go. âHey, Y/nâ âWhat time are you going to the gala.â Yuri texted you.
âIâm notâ you responded as you put your phone down and went to the shower.
Hearing your phone buzz on the counter taking down your hair as it fell to your back. Rolling you neck back to losen up a bit while you get into the shower.â
Taking a deep breath in and out,
âWhy does school have to be so stressfulâ you said talking to yourself groaning out loud as you started washing your hair
âIâm so glad itâs overâ turning around as you thrown your hair back to wash the soap out. Closing your eyes once more.
âY/nâ you heard murmuring.
âY/nnn~â you heard once more this time elongated.
You opened your eyes just to see no one. Thinking it was the water as you fished up your shower. Wrapping your self in a towel as you picked you phone up and walked to your bedroom. 9:45 you seen on the clock glowing a bright red. Seating on the bed going thought your notification,
â30 missed calls from yuri, she must really want to goâ you said out loud.
âMaybe I should call her ba-â being cut off by the door bell.
You got up to answer it. Hearing the repeated banging.
âDang okay,okayâ you yelled at the door.
âY/n get dressed you promised you were going to go with meâ yuri cried
You looked at the girl in front of you as you eyed her up and down.
âWoah,I love your dressâyou said looking her up and down again.
âPlus I didnât say I would got itâs the 31, I want to stay in a watch cheesy horror flims and eat junk all nightâ you cried.
âYou can do it tomorrow, we have to go, I NEED to see Jay.â She said as she jumped up and down.
âUgh but I donât want to.â You cried out,
âYou know Y/n I really hoped that I would never had to pull this card but, remember that one time in 6th grade was you peed your pants and you needed pants for a replacement, now itâs that time you pay me backâ she said proudly, hurling it out before you can say anything about it.
âOh my goshâŠ. Are you for real, you said you would NEVER bring that up again. fine whateverâ you got embarrassed because why would she bring that youâŠ
âIâll need about an hour plus I donât have any fancy dresses.â You said
âI brought some over, just worry about your make up I got the dresses, just make the theme black or redâ she said. Running to her car
âOkay, okayâ you walked to the restroom
~~~~~~~~~
âAre you ready? Yet- woahâ she stoped walking in the restroom
âYeah just finishing upâ as you pulled up the dress to be insecure spraying on your favorite fragrance.
âReady?â You asked walking out.
âYeah the limbo should be here soonâ she read on her phone
âA limbo? Oh no, Iâm not going across town if I canât drive thereâ
Putting your rosary on your hand and fingering
âThey said they didnât want anyone driving because of parking space so they bought them out.â She proclaimed noticing your moment
âGirl that does not go with your dressâ she said
âWhat, I literally always wear itâ you stated looking around, and putting on your keys down
âHere wear this insteadâ she passed a dangling bracelet as she tried to take it off.
âWoah, I wonât wear it but Iâm bring it with meâ putting your arm up and removing putting it in the top part of you dress.
âThe limbo hereâ she jumped up and down happily, grabbing your hand and rushing out
âWait I have to grab-â âno time itâs hereâ running out with heels in hand.
âWoah this is hugeâ yuri said looking at the manor
You turned your head
âItâs kinda scary lookingâ you mumbled looking at as you pulled in
âOh here Y/nâ she handed you her shoes
âYuriâŠ.â You said
âHmmmâ she hummed looking at you
âThese a heelsâŠ.â
âYeahâ
âLike 6 inch heelsâ you said looking at her
âYeah.. they are actually 5.6â she laughed
âI canât wear theseâ you looked at her in shock
âOh yes you can plus, you donât have any other shoes that you can wear so those will have to do.â She laughed
âIâve been set upâ you cried out
âItâs not everyday I see you in heels and dresses, just for tonightâ you gave in, as she said smiling at you..
Putting them on..
âThese are going to kill my feet.â You thought sighing out loud as the car stopped
Walking in side itâs like everyone stopped and looked at you and yuri as you walked in. How a curious manor you thought.
âWhy is everyone staring, you whispered turning your head to look at yuri, who is no where to be found as you turned around.
âHere you are miss, right this way.â Has he handed you an eye mask as he lead you down the hall under the walkway.
As you looked up noticing 7 guys drinking glaring at you as you walked through.
â here we are maâamâ showing you the appetizers and beverages
âOh Thank youâ as you turned around
âDo you know- âŠ.. what this isâ you turned back around looking for the guy but he was no where to be seen
âItâs Vampire Cabernet Sauvignon 1846â the blonde hair guy stated as you turned around to look at him
âWoah, sorry you startled meâ placing your hand over your chest leaning against the counter
âOh my apologiesâ he bowed taking your hand from your chest gently moving it toward him as he kissed it.
âOh youâre fineâ you said apologetic looking down at him.
He looked uncomfortable
âAre you okay?â You questioned
âYeah if you will excuse me for one moment, Iâm Heeseung lee, Iâll see you around, maybeâ he said walking out disappearing into the hallway he seemed as if he was holding his breath,
âDo I stink?â You question as you were raising your arms up
âYou smell great.â you felt a presence on the back of your neck, giving you goosebumps,
âOh um thanksâ immediately putting your arms down
âOh Jungwon, I didnât know you would be hereâ you said as you seen him could from the corner of your eyes, taking a step back, he always gave you a weird vibe, you became nervous
âI didnât know you would be here either, what bring you hereâ he smirked tilting his head to the side
âOh, umm, Yuri wanted to come so i came with her. But now I cant find her actually, have you seen her?â You asked being out a fake laugh.
âOh Iâve seen her in the ball room with the othersâ he moved, we should head over there he grabbed your wrist but immediately took his hand back, like it hurt.
âOh my apologies I shouldnât have grabbed you like that, may i?â He questioned as he turned and put out his arm.
âYeah, thatâs fine.â You said hesitantly lacing your arm with his as he lead you to the other room.
You and Jungwon had the same calculus and physics class. Seeing him here you were kinda surprised. Even under the mask you could tell it was him, from his eyes to his face shape.
âSo jungwon what are you doing hereâ you turned and looked at him while you were walking
âHow did you guess it was me,Y/nâ he smiled
âwe have the same classes jungwonâ you said returning your glazed to look ahead of you.
âIâve never thought you noticed meâ he muttered under his breath
âWhat did you sayâ you asked turning you head about at him smiling
âOh just thinking out loudâ
This event is not at all what you had in mind. Pearls catch faint golden light, music is soft and serene, and smoke spirals in the air. But every look seems to be directed at you and you alone, as though you were the center of gravity of the evening. As if they could see right through you.
âMy ladyâ
Jungwon put down his arm and dipped and walked away disappearing into the crowd of people.
As you looked around, you caught eyes with heeseung as he stared at you.
âWhatâs his dealâ you thought
As he approached you, you panicked sort of in the moment and just stayed standing.
As you felt a pair of hands on your arm making to slightly jumped as you immediately looked to see who it was.
âMy I have this danceâ the stranger asked taking you hand leading you the center of the ballroom, you were nervous, your never danced before, well atleast ballroom dancing.
âJust follow my leadâ he leaned in a whispered,
You hesitate as you nodded, he was really close his cologne, masking your perfume, heâs presences engulfing you as you waltz together.
âWho-um, who are you?â You stumbled over your words, which was usually for you, you looked down flushed.
âY/n you donât know who am?â He looked down at you
âJay?..â you trailed off, moving your head up looking into his eyes, you didnât know he known you at all, all the things youâve heard were form yuri.
âOhhh, oh.â Your face dropped as you realized, slowly pulling out of his hands, so hopefully yuri didnât notice.
The only issue was Jay was faster and hold you closer than before, bodyâs pressed on one another.
âWhere are you going?â He raised his eyebrow,
âOh I remember I have to find my friendâ you gave a fake smile, trying your best not to make a seen.
âOh, Yuri, right? Oh donât worry I was told she was with Jake.â He said as he looked down at you.
You raised an eyebrow at his statement
I canât be with Jake? Whoâs Jake? Thinking back if youâve know him or not
âI should really get going â you said as you pulled out once more on stubbing back on your dress and almost falling, throwing your head back.
Your heart dropped. âYuri..â you mumbled putting you head back up almost immediately colliding with jays
Making Jay catch you, making it seem like it was party of your dance, then suddenly he kissed youâŠ
The kiss was draining, but soft, your heart was racing now.
Heâs face wencing as you thrown your arms around his neck. It started to turn red, turning his body towards Yuri to shed you from her line of vision. If she didnât see me then she definitely seen me now you sighed letting a long breath out.
âIâm so sorry, Thank youâ you apologized
Youâve seen yuri running out, chasing after her, speed walking through the crowd of people.
âYuri-â you called out but she keep going.
Suddened you ran into someone as you were following her.
They stepped infront of you from leaving the room.
âY/n right?â He said a tall figure in front of you,
âYes?â You backed up.. confused
âWhere are you running off too, we have someone waiting for you â he asked,
âIâm trying to find my friend.â You stated trying to move around him but failing.
âExcuse meâ you were being to become irritated
âgoâ you heard but his mouth not moving
You heard it in your head, as it was your voice telling you to go with him,
You felt something was wrong and wanted to back out then yuri flashed in your mind,
Running pass heeseung following yuri, he flinched at your movement.
No oneâs pov.
âWow heeseung no oneâs ever caught your mind control before.â The pale guy chuckled
âYeah, what everâ he rolled his eyes
âThereâs something about her, I canât really get into herâ he stated
âWell using her was bait worked outâ the pale hair guy stated. As they walked after you.
âWell letâs get this over with, I hate chasing people.â Jake proclaimed
â Iâve been thirsty all night can we hurry this upâ
The next guy stated
âWhat makes you think you are getting first bidsâ jungwon looked at him with disgusted
âWell she likes me more than you. Plus you canât touch her without burning, we have to figure what she has on her first before anyone gets anything from her. She protected we just need to know by what so sunoo can remove itâ Jay stated.
âWhy me? Have Jungwon or Niki do itâ Sunoo protest.
âBecause they donât have powers like youâ Jay stated
âWow I can float, what special about thatâ Sunoo rolled his eyes
âFine Niki will do itâ Jake said
As they started bricking about who would do what Y/n traveled deeper into the manor.
âYURI, YURIâ you yelled with no response
âMaybe it wasnât hereâ you ended up at a garden with a wooden bench, with a look of the city and the moon brightly above.
You paused taking a deep breath
âItâs hard walking in heelsâ you sighed taking out your phone
âfor a huge house, thereâs no service hereâ you mumbled. Trying to call yuri,
âYouâve reached Yuri, you know what to doâ her phone going straight to voicemails.
âIâve called you like a thousand times now , where are you.â You said into the phone
âYuri?â You seen a figure run by as you chased after
âYuri, wait up.â Finally catching up she was squatting over flowers admiring them.
â where have you been? Iâve been looking everywhere for you.â You breathed out reaching out to touch your shoulder.
But as she turned her head, you realize she had no face. It was a black hole.
âWhat the-â as you felt a pair of hands on your eyes.
Immediately throwing your head back to see who it was. But only getting drawn in closer against the hard surface.
Elbowing him and the stomach as he removed his hands, you took that as a sign to run through another opening. Not looking back. Taking out your phone again texting yuri.
âYuri. WHERE ARE YOUâ
âIâve being chased, and I canât find you.â
â Iâve been looking everywhere for you. Where are you?â You sent multiple messages
As youâve seen the speech bubbles pop up and disappear and reappear.
âGirl, what are you talking about? Iâve been inside the whole time. Where are you at?â Her response making you stop dead in your tracks
âWHATâ you texted back.
âOh Y/n, youâre hereâ making you turn around
âOh jungwon, what are you doing out here?â You question taking a step back.
â oh I just got tired of the loud atmosphere. I just wanted to be somewhere quiet.â he smirked.
â oh sorry I didnât know anyone was gonna be back out here. Iâm actually about to head back in.â as you try to keep distance and walk around him.
â oh me too I âll take you to here, as he grabbed your handâ immediately pulling your arm.
âUm okay..â some thing wasnât right but you thought being with someone is better then being with no one right?
You were found your self in the familiar garden,
â woah, she got you pretty good huh,â you here someone say laughing
âUgh, shut up.â Someone else said yelling âI told you she was a fighterâ I heard. Thatâs 3 different voices. Realizing that this isnât the way back to the ballroom.
âJungwon where are we going.â You looked at him.
âBack to the ballroomâ he smiled again
âI donât think this is the wayâ you stoped dead in your tracks
âOops you caught me, heâs eyes flashing a crimson red.
You heard a voice in your head, ringing as you fell to your knees. The voice telling you to give in.
âtlahuelpuchiâ you said in you naciste tongue, âyour aâ
You couldnât get the words out. Youâve only heard legends nothing in stone, never seen in person before.
But for him to be In front of you now. You booked it running to the other side as you tripped over your dress.
âUgh I know I shouldnât have worn these shoesâ taking them off, getting up and running again
Bumping into a larger hard figure hits it hard.
The same figure before.
âOofâ the sound you made as it stopped you. His red being the same color red.
Reaching in your dress trying to find your rosary.
Oh my gosh, where could it be. You panic
âWhere is itâ you yelled panicking even more the guy picked you off the ground.
âI most have fell out when I fell.â
You dropped to your knees again
â Pater noster, qui es in cĆlis; sanctificatur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cĆlo, et in terra.â As you looked up not seeing him or any one anymore as you turned around
âUrg, are you done yet?â The guy yawned
Immediately started the next part of your prayer
âPanem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodieâ
âEt dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostrisâ
Hearing that made you stop in your tracks
âWhatâ you said looking up your eyes widen
Jake grabbing you by your chin pulling your face closer to him, as he wiped the single tear off your face. You were in shock and disbelief
âet ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malâ
You whispered
âHow could youâŠhow could you possibly say thatâ - you questioned
âLong ago the man who stole my fatherâs land forced these words upon us too.â Jake stated taking his hands off your chin moving back.
You ultimately surrounded.
âWere you looking for thisâ you heard making you turn around
It dangling in the air. Was your rosary. Your eyes widen about to grab it, it ignited into flames.
âNo.â âNo. That was my last piece that I had of her, why, WHY WOULD YOU DO THATâ you yelled it was your grandmothers.
âYou monsterâ- you heard giggling behind you he said in a mocking tone. âYeah,yeah we get that a lot.â Jungwon stated in a mocking tone.
âWell with that out the wayâ he said making his way to you.
You felt a pair of hand pulling you up by your hands and holding you up from behind.
As Jungwon inspected you.
â oh you smell really good Y/nâ he got awfully close to you face, the your neck,then your chest. As he worked his way down your body to the slit on your dress. Making you step back onto the guy behind You. Looking at your exposed leg.
âHmm, I wonder how you taste though.â He said coming closer and closer to your inner thigh.
Your breath hitched as you moved it back. The only thing you hits as the tall male behind you holding you so you couldnât move.
âHmm you canât fight it Y/nâ he said pulling your leg back toward him making you unbalanced.
You felt his breath on your leg. The exhale of the air in his lungs. As he closer and closer to to your thigh.
âUgh you smell so good Y/nâhe sniffed you again as you a felt sharp pain in your leg. Making you unbalanced as you collapsed. His fangs still in your skin, only being held up by the guy behind you. It felt like something was ripping through you to your leg an intense pain as you cried out.
Closing your eyes. As it slowly washed away you felt light headed.
âOh my, your even better then I thought. You have to try her guysâ making you look up and seeing not but red eyes looking your way. In a daze throwing your head back. In a quick second you felt Nikiâs head behind your neck dropping your hands and holding your shoulders. As sunghoon stayed in front of you going for your collarbone. Smelling you first lowering his head closer and closer to your chest. You felt your self holding your breath more.
You couldnât move, trapped between the 3 guys.
âPlease.â
You said faintly, as tears ran down your face, the pain of your collarbone was unbearable, you tried to push his off but with the blood leaving your system it was hard to find strength.
As Niki was in your neck, you couldnât move, your eyes drawn close and you fell backâŠ
The moon was red from all you seen. As thatâs the last night youâve ever seen it.
Summary : Your friend invited you to party on Halloween you were especially excited to go, but she begged you anyways.
âtlahuelpuchiâ
You were invited to a party by your friend yuri, you and yuri have known each other for a couple of years as a 3rd year in college now she was a 4th year.
âEveryoneâs going you should too.â Yuri stated
âYou donât even like parties-the amount of times Iâve asked you to go and you would always say âI donât like parties or I have studying to doââ you mocked her.
âYeah but apparently it supposed to be a big party plus in a castle all the way across town, plus the park brothers are hosting it.â She stated she aways did have a thing for jay.
âUhhh I donât know, donât you have to be invited to these things?â You said walking back to your car.
âYeah but I got one so we should goâ she glammed holding up the black and red decorated envelope.
âUhhh I think itâs per inviteâŠâ you throw it off as you saw a similar envelope with your name on it on your car window.
âStrangeâŠâ you whispered looking around to how could have put it on your car. But no one was around.
âOH My GOSH, you got one too.â Yuri screamed taking the envelope from your hand.
Reading the letter in side.
â you are cordially invited, to the gala at the park manor. To celebrate Samhain.â
Attire elegant time midnight
Attendance mandatory â
âWho do you think they are that they can make attendance mandatory â you rolled your eyes at the letter something didnât seem right when you touched it.
âWell Duh they are The Park Brothers they know exactly who they think they are.â She giggled getting in the car.
You looked around once more as the autumn wind blew pass you, freezing the tip of your nose as you closed your eyes still not seeing anyone.
Driving back to the dorm as you dropped yuri off and going back to your dorm.
As the party date approaches you where drowned in school and finishing up mid terms you didnât think you were going to go. âHey, Y/nâ âWhat time are you going to the gala.â Yuri texted you.
âIâm notâ you responded as you put your phone down and went to the shower.
Hearing your phone buzz on the counter taking down your hair as it fell to your back. Rolling you neck back to losen up a bit while you get into the shower.â
Taking a deep breath in and out,
âWhy does school have to be so stressfulâ you said talking to yourself groaning out loud as you started washing your hair
âIâm so glad itâs overâ turning around as you thrown your hair back to wash the soap out. Closing your eyes once more.
âY/nâ you heard murmuring.
âY/nnn~â you heard once more this time elongated.
You opened your eyes just to see no one. Thinking it was the water as you fished up your shower. Wrapping your self in a towel as you picked you phone up and walked to your bedroom. 9:45 you seen on the clock glowing a bright red. Seating on the bed going thought your notification,
â30 missed calls from yuri, she must really want to goâ you said out loud.
âMaybe I should call her ba-â being cut off by the door bell.
You got up to answer it. Hearing the repeated banging.
âDang okay,okayâ you yelled at the door.
âY/n get dressed you promised you were going to go with meâ yuri cried
You looked at the girl in front of you as you eyed her up and down.
âWoah,I love your dressâyou said looking her up and down again.
âPlus I didnât say I would got itâs the 31, I want to stay in a watch cheesy horror flims and eat junk all nightâ you cried.
âYou can do it tomorrow, we have to go, I NEED to see Jay.â She said as she jumped up and down.
âUgh but I donât want to.â You cried out,
âYou know Y/n I really hoped that I would never had to pull this card but, remember that one time in 6th grade was you peed your pants and you needed pants for a replacement, now itâs that time you pay me backâ she said proudly, hurling it out before you can say anything about it.
âOh my goshâŠ. Are you for real, you said you would NEVER bring that up again. fine whateverâ you got embarrassed because why would she bring that youâŠ
âIâll need about an hour plus I donât have any fancy dresses.â You said
âI brought some over, just worry about your make up I got the dresses, just make the theme black or redâ she said. Running to her car
âOkay, okayâ you walked to the restroom
~~~~~~~~~
âAre you ready? Yet- woahâ she stoped walking in the restroom
âYeah just finishing upâ as you pulled up the dress to be insecure spraying on your favorite fragrance.
âReady?â You asked walking out.
âYeah the limbo should be here soonâ she read on her phone
âA limbo? Oh no, Iâm not going across town if I canât drive thereâ
Putting your rosary on your hand and fingering
âThey said they didnât want anyone driving because of parking space so they bought them out.â She proclaimed noticing your moment
âGirl that does not go with your dressâ she said
âWhat, I literally always wear itâ you stated looking around, and putting on your keys down
âHere wear this insteadâ she passed a dangling bracelet as she tried to take it off.
âWoah, I wonât wear it but Iâm bring it with meâ putting your arm up and removing putting it in the top part of you dress.
âThe limbo hereâ she jumped up and down happily, grabbing your hand and rushing out
âWait I have to grab-â âno time itâs hereâ running out with heels in hand.
âWoah this is hugeâ yuri said looking at the manor
You turned your head
âItâs kinda scary lookingâ you mumbled looking at as you pulled in
âOh here Y/nâ she handed you her shoes
âYuriâŠ.â You said
âHmmmâ she hummed looking at you
âThese a heelsâŠ.â
âYeahâ
âLike 6 inch heelsâ you said looking at her
âYeah.. they are actually 5.6â she laughed
âI canât wear theseâ you looked at her in shock
âOh yes you can plus, you donât have any other shoes that you can wear so those will have to do.â She laughed
âIâve been set upâ you cried out
âItâs not everyday I see you in heels and dresses, just for tonightâ you gave in, as she said smiling at you..
Putting them on..
âThese are going to kill my feet.â You thought sighing out loud as the car stopped
Walking in side itâs like everyone stopped and looked at you and yuri as you walked in. How a curious manor you thought.
âWhy is everyone staring, you whispered turning your head to look at yuri, who is no where to be found as you turned around.
âHere you are miss, right this way.â Has he handed you an eye mask as he lead you down the hall under the walkway.
As you looked up noticing 7 guys drinking glaring at you as you walked through.
â here we are maâamâ showing you the appetizers and beverages
âOh Thank youâ as you turned around
âDo you know- âŠ.. what this isâ you turned back around looking for the guy but he was no where to be seen
âItâs Vampire Cabernet Sauvignon 1846â the blonde hair guy stated as you turned around to look at him
âWoah, sorry you startled meâ placing your hand over your chest leaning against the counter
âOh my apologiesâ he bowed taking your hand from your chest gently moving it toward him as he kissed it.
âOh youâre fineâ you said apologetic looking down at him.
He looked uncomfortable
âAre you okay?â You questioned
âYeah if you will excuse me for one moment, Iâm Heeseung lee, Iâll see you around, maybeâ he said walking out disappearing into the hallway he seemed as if he was holding his breath,
âDo I stink?â You question as you were raising your arms up
âYou smell great.â you felt a presence on the back of your neck, giving you goosebumps,
âOh um thanksâ immediately putting your arms down
âOh Jungwon, I didnât know you would be hereâ you said as you seen him could from the corner of your eyes, taking a step back, he always gave you a weird vibe, you became nervous
âI didnât know you would be here either, what bring you hereâ he smirked tilting his head to the side
âOh, umm, Yuri wanted to come so i came with her. But now I cant find her actually, have you seen her?â You asked being out a fake laugh.
âOh Iâve seen her in the ball room with the othersâ he moved, we should head over there he grabbed your wrist but immediately took his hand back, like it hurt.
âOh my apologies I shouldnât have grabbed you like that, may i?â He questioned as he turned and put out his arm.
âYeah, thatâs fine.â You said hesitantly lacing your arm with his as he lead you to the other room.
You and Jungwon had the same calculus and physics class. Seeing him here you were kinda surprised. Even under the mask you could tell it was him, from his eyes to his face shape.
âSo jungwon what are you doing hereâ you turned and looked at him while you were walking
âHow did you guess it was me,Y/nâ he smiled
âwe have the same classes jungwonâ you said returning your glazed to look ahead of you.
âIâve never thought you noticed meâ he muttered under his breath
âWhat did you sayâ you asked turning you head about at him smiling
âOh just thinking out loudâ
This event is not at all what you had in mind. Pearls catch faint golden light, music is soft and serene, and smoke spirals in the air. But every look seems to be directed at you and you alone, as though you were the center of gravity of the evening. As if they could see right through you.
âMy ladyâ
Jungwon put down his arm and dipped and walked away disappearing into the crowd of people.
As you looked around, you caught eyes with heeseung as he stared at you.
âWhatâs his dealâ you thought
As he approached you, you panicked sort of in the moment and just stayed standing.
As you felt a pair of hands on your arm making to slightly jumped as you immediately looked to see who it was.
âMy I have this danceâ the stranger asked taking you hand leading you the center of the ballroom, you were nervous, your never danced before, well atleast ballroom dancing.
âJust follow my leadâ he leaned in a whispered,
You hesitate as you nodded, he was really close his cologne, masking your perfume, heâs presences engulfing you as you waltz together.
âWho-um, who are you?â You stumbled over your words, which was usually for you, you looked down flushed.
âY/n you donât know who am?â He looked down at you
âJay?..â you trailed off, moving your head up looking into his eyes, you didnât know he known you at all, all the things youâve heard were form yuri.
âOhhh, oh.â Your face dropped as you realized, slowly pulling out of his hands, so hopefully yuri didnât notice.
The only issue was Jay was faster and hold you closer than before, bodyâs pressed on one another.
âWhere are you going?â He raised his eyebrow,
âOh I remember I have to find my friendâ you gave a fake smile, trying your best not to make a seen.
âOh, Yuri, right? Oh donât worry I was told she was with Jake.â He said as he looked down at you.
You raised an eyebrow at his statement
I canât be with Jake? Whoâs Jake? Thinking back if youâve know him or not
âI should really get going â you said as you pulled out once more on stubbing back on your dress and almost falling, throwing your head back.
Your heart dropped. âYuri..â you mumbled putting you head back up almost immediately colliding with jays
Making Jay catch you, making it seem like it was party of your dance, then suddenly he kissed youâŠ
The kiss was draining, but soft, your heart was racing now.
Heâs face wencing as you thrown your arms around his neck. It started to turn red, turning his body towards Yuri to shed you from her line of vision. If she didnât see me then she definitely seen me now you sighed letting a long breath out.
âIâm so sorry, Thank youâ you apologized
Youâve seen yuri running out, chasing after her, speed walking through the crowd of people.
âYuri-â you called out but she keep going.
Suddened you ran into someone as you were following her.
They stepped infront of you from leaving the room.
âY/n right?â He said a tall figure in front of you,
âYes?â You backed up.. confused
âWhere are you running off too, we have someone waiting for you â he asked,
âIâm trying to find my friend.â You stated trying to move around him but failing.
âExcuse meâ you were being to become irritated
âgoâ you heard but his mouth not moving
You heard it in your head, as it was your voice telling you to go with him,
You felt something was wrong and wanted to back out then yuri flashed in your mind,
Running pass heeseung following yuri, he flinched at your movement.
No oneâs pov.
âWow heeseung no oneâs ever caught your mind control before.â The pale guy chuckled
âYeah, what everâ he rolled his eyes
âThereâs something about her, I canât really get into herâ he stated
âWell using her was bait worked outâ the pale hair guy stated. As they walked after you.
âWell letâs get this over with, I hate chasing people.â Jake proclaimed
â Iâve been thirsty all night can we hurry this upâ
The next guy stated
âWhat makes you think you are getting first bidsâ jungwon looked at him with disgusted
âWell she likes me more than you. Plus you canât touch her without burning, we have to figure what she has on her first before anyone gets anything from her. She protected we just need to know by what so sunoo can remove itâ Jay stated.
âWhy me? Have Jungwon or Niki do itâ Sunoo protest.
âBecause they donât have powers like youâ Jay stated
âWow I can float, what special about thatâ Sunoo rolled his eyes
âFine Niki will do itâ Jake said
As they started bricking about who would do what Y/n traveled deeper into the manor.
âYURI, YURIâ you yelled with no response
âMaybe it wasnât hereâ you ended up at a garden with a wooden bench, with a look of the city and the moon brightly above.
You paused taking a deep breath
âItâs hard walking in heelsâ you sighed taking out your phone
âfor a huge house, thereâs no service hereâ you mumbled. Trying to call yuri,
âYouâve reached Yuri, you know what to doâ her phone going straight to voicemails.
âIâve called you like a thousand times now , where are you.â You said into the phone
âYuri?â You seen a figure run by as you chased after
âYuri, wait up.â Finally catching up she was squatting over flowers admiring them.
â where have you been? Iâve been looking everywhere for you.â You breathed out reaching out to touch your shoulder.
But as she turned her head, you realize she had no face. It was a black hole.
âWhat the-â as you felt a pair of hands on your eyes.
Immediately throwing your head back to see who it was. But only getting drawn in closer against the hard surface.
Elbowing him and the stomach as he removed his hands, you took that as a sign to run through another opening. Not looking back. Taking out your phone again texting yuri.
âYuri. WHERE ARE YOUâ
âIâve being chased, and I canât find you.â
â Iâve been looking everywhere for you. Where are you?â You sent multiple messages
As youâve seen the speech bubbles pop up and disappear and reappear.
âGirl, what are you talking about? Iâve been inside the whole time. Where are you at?â Her response making you stop dead in your tracks
âWHATâ you texted back.
âOh Y/n, youâre hereâ making you turn around
âOh jungwon, what are you doing out here?â You question taking a step back.
â oh I just got tired of the loud atmosphere. I just wanted to be somewhere quiet.â he smirked.
â oh sorry I didnât know anyone was gonna be back out here. Iâm actually about to head back in.â as you try to keep distance and walk around him.
â oh me too I âll take you to here, as he grabbed your handâ immediately pulling your arm.
âUm okay..â some thing wasnât right but you thought being with someone is better then being with no one right?
You were found your self in the familiar garden,
â woah, she got you pretty good huh,â you here someone say laughing
âUgh, shut up.â Someone else said yelling âI told you she was a fighterâ I heard. Thatâs 3 different voices. Realizing that this isnât the way back to the ballroom.
âJungwon where are we going.â You looked at him.
âBack to the ballroomâ he smiled again
âI donât think this is the wayâ you stoped dead in your tracks
âOops you caught me, heâs eyes flashing a crimson red.
You heard a voice in your head, ringing as you fell to your knees. The voice telling you to give in.
âtlahuelpuchiâ you said in you naciste tongue, âyour aâ
You couldnât get the words out. Youâve only heard legends nothing in stone, never seen in person before.
But for him to be In front of you now. You booked it running to the other side as you tripped over your dress.
âUgh I know I shouldnât have worn these shoesâ taking them off, getting up and running again
Bumping into a larger hard figure hits it hard.
The same figure before.
âOofâ the sound you made as it stopped you. His red being the same color red.
Reaching in your dress trying to find your rosary.
Oh my gosh, where could it be. You panic
âWhere is itâ you yelled panicking even more the guy picked you off the ground.
âI most have fell out when I fell.â
You dropped to your knees again
â Pater noster, qui es in cĆlis; sanctificatur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cĆlo, et in terra.â As you looked up not seeing him or any one anymore as you turned around
âUrg, are you done yet?â The guy yawned
Immediately started the next part of your prayer
âPanem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodieâ
âEt dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostrisâ
Hearing that made you stop in your tracks
âWhatâ you said looking up your eyes widen
Jake grabbing you by your chin pulling your face closer to him, as he wiped the single tear off your face. You were in shock and disbelief
âet ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malâ
You whispered
âHow could youâŠhow could you possibly say thatâ - you questioned
âLong ago the man who stole my fatherâs land forced these words upon us too.â Jake stated taking his hands off your chin moving back.
You ultimately surrounded.
âWere you looking for thisâ you heard making you turn around
It dangling in the air. Was your rosary. Your eyes widen about to grab it, it ignited into flames.
âNo.â âNo. That was my last piece that I had of her, why, WHY WOULD YOU DO THATâ you yelled it was your grandmothers.
âYou monsterâ- you heard giggling behind you he said in a mocking tone. âYeah,yeah we get that a lot.â Jungwon stated in a mocking tone.
âWell with that out the wayâ he said making his way to you.
You felt a pair of hand pulling you up by your hands and holding you up from behind.
As Jungwon inspected you.
â oh you smell really good Y/nâ he got awfully close to you face, the your neck,then your chest. As he worked his way down your body to the slit on your dress. Making you step back onto the guy behind You. Looking at your exposed leg.
âHmm, I wonder how you taste though.â He said coming closer and closer to your inner thigh.
Your breath hitched as you moved it back. The only thing you hits as the tall male behind you holding you so you couldnât move.
âHmm you canât fight it Y/nâ he said pulling your leg back toward him making you unbalanced.
You felt his breath on your leg. The exhale of the air in his lungs. As he closer and closer to to your thigh.
âUgh you smell so good Y/nâhe sniffed you again as you a felt sharp pain in your leg. Making you unbalanced as you collapsed. His fangs still in your skin, only being held up by the guy behind you. It felt like something was ripping through you to your leg an intense pain as you cried out.
Closing your eyes. As it slowly washed away you felt light headed.
âOh my, your even better then I thought. You have to try her guysâ making you look up and seeing not but red eyes looking your way. In a daze throwing your head back. In a quick second you felt Nikiâs head behind your neck dropping your hands and holding your shoulders. As sunghoon stayed in front of you going for your collarbone. Smelling you first lowering his head closer and closer to your chest. You felt your self holding your breath more.
You couldnât move, trapped between the 3 guys.
âPlease.â
You said faintly, as tears ran down your face, the pain of your collarbone was unbearable, you tried to push his off but with the blood leaving your system it was hard to find strength.
As Niki was in your neck, you couldnât move, your eyes drawn close and you fell backâŠ
The moon was red from all you seen. As thatâs the last night youâve ever seen it.
đź preview. âEverything is wrong,â Mark sighs. âDoing this with you two is wrong. Wanting you this badly is wrong. Getting hard in Church is wrong. What I want to do to you is wrong. But⊠as crazy as it sounds, it also feels right.â
tw/cw. threesomes, inexperienced!Mark, fingering, blow jobs, deep throating, pussy eating, spit roasting, voyeurism, lots of masturbation (especially in the shower), Hyuck has a dirty mouth, sin sin sin, unprotected sex, creampies, cum play, kink for being 'full', religious contention, Mark gets hard during Sunday Service, Mark getting outed as low key virgin, proposition, Mark uses a cross necklace in sinful ways, praise, slight degradation, inklings of corruption kink, squirting, etc⊠I pet names: (hers) angel. (Mark's) church boy.
đč rating.18+ explicit I wc. 12.6k
đ aus.frat/uni au, soccer player au, church/inexperienced!Mark, etcâŠ
âïžÂ mlist + an. I've wanted to do a fic about Mark being Christain for a while, but I wanted to make one that was still respectful. This idea popped into my head, and I think it turned out really well :) it's only slight blasphemy.
Thereâs nothing like a frat party after a big win for the university soccer team. Even though Mark doesnât really drink, and heâs never smoked a joint in his entire life, itâs nice to be surrounded by happy energy.Â
His team always laughs at him when he notes how celebrations can feel almost church-like, but the indescribable buzz that fills the entire frat is familiar to the man whoâs been going to Sunday Services his entire life.Â
Mark likes seeing familiar faces, and if he hadnât been raised in a very big family type of system, heâs not so sure heâd be this okay with crowds, or the number of people who reach out to pat him on the shoulder and shake his hand in congratulations for scoring the winning goal.
It had been a great game, and when Markâs ball had sunk into the top left corner of the net, heâd run to the side lines to fall to his knees and make the sign of the cross, grabbing at the religious pendant around his neck to kiss it. People have always made fun of him for this tradition of his, but nothing will ever stop him from thanking God - his God - for the fortune life has brought him.
Even now, the necklace is securely around his throat, the cross resting just below his shirt. The cool metal brushes by his skin when he moves through the frat house, a constant reminder of his faith.Â
Something is drawing him outside, and Mark has always been someone who leans into the feelings he canât put his finger on. Itâs something like divine guidance, and Mark exits the frat to step onto the back patio, where his friends are in a circle around a fire.Â
It smells like weed, something Mark hadnât liked at first, but itâs now a scent heâs used to, and he heads over to stand next to his roommate.Â
Lee Donghyuck and Mark have been friends since high school, where a few âless wokeâ teachers had assumed - because of their shared last name - that two were cousins, or something of the sort. Theyâd always been put in group projects together. At first, Hyuck had been too much for Mark to handle, but over the years, heâs come to like the chaotic energy of his closest friend, despite all their differences, mainly, their disagreements on religion.
âLook what the cat dragged in!â Hyuck bellows, throwing his arm around Mark to pull him tight to his hoodie covered side, which reeks of marijuana.Â
âChurch boy Mark!â Yuta grins from across the circle, raising his beer in a mock toast to the man who had won them their soccer game.Â
âCan he even be here?â a bitchy foreign exchange student from Thailand asks, earning a shove from Markâs frat âbigâ Johnny.
âOf course he can be here,â the man from Chicago laughs.
âI just mean-â Ten is quick to correct himself, âweâre playing Never Have I Ever. Are we sure this is suitable for him?â
âMark plays games,â Hyuck insists, but Markâs not so sure about this one.Â
âHe doesnât even have a drink,â Ten notes, looking Mark up and down.
âSomeone get him something,â Hyuck says, snapping his fingers at one of their pledges. âOne of the iced tea mixes, the low percent ones-â
âHyuck-â Mark sighs.
âTrust me,â Hyuck assures him, âyou hardly do anything with your life, itâs not like youâll have to drink that much.â
Mark still doesnât feel too enthused about joining the game, but he supposes his heart led him out here for one reason or another, so he accepts the hard iced tea can Jisung hands him. His eyes immediately scan it for the alcohol content, and he sighs. âThis is the same as beer.â
âCome on, church boy,â Hyuck groans. âYouâll only have like three sips, max. Watch-â without waiting for Mark to agree, Hyuck is addressing the circle again. âNever have I ever sucked cock.âÂ
The girls in the vicinity all make sounds of annoyance, raising their drinks to their lips. In the periphery, Yuta also sips his beer, and after a moment and a groan, so does Ten.Â
âSee!?â Hyuck squeezes Markâs shoulder. âYouâre already zero for one.â
âThat was a low blow, Hyuck,â your voice draws Markâs attention. Youâre standing on the other side of his best friend, which shouldnât be that big of a surprise, seeing as youâre Hyuckâs fuck buddy.Â
Mark takes a moment to assess you while Hyuck rolls his eyes and defends himself. The church goer has always thought you were pretty, and youâre smart too, much too smart for the crazy gemini he has as a roommate.Â
âTwo can play that game,â you warn, raising your voice to announce, âNever have I ever eaten pussy.â
Markâs skin prickles, panic washing over him as every man around the fire - and even a few girls - drink. The church boy can feel his grip on his can shaking slightly, and for a brief moment he considers having a swig of the hard iced tea just to protect himself, but, well⊠it would be a lie. And if thereâs one thing Mark Lee doesnât do, itâs lie.Â
Mark can feel eyes on him as he downcasts his gaze to the ground. His skin is heating with embarrassment, and he just prays to God no one makes a big deal out of this-
âYouâve never eaten pussy?â Jeno yells, and Mark just knows the question is directed at him.Â
He looks up, lips parting at the shock of being put on the spot.Â
âWait, you guys havenât heard the church camp story?â Hyuck asks, and now Markâs really panicking. But itâs too late to stop his loose lipped roomie, who is already diving into Markâs past for the whole circle to hear. âThis one time, he fucked a girl at church camp, and a Jesus picture fell off the wall, so he hasnât even touched a girl since then.âÂ
A few people laugh, and while Mark can understand that - objectively - theyâre not laughing at him, but at the story, he canât help but get defensive.
âIt fell off the wall, Hyuck,â Mark insists, voice shaking. âHow else do you explain that?â
âIâve always thought you were just banging that girl too hard,â Hyuck suggests, earning a few sounds of agreement from other frat boys.Â
But Hyuck wasnât there when it had happened, and Mark knows for a fact there was no true bed rocking going on. Heâd been taking things slow, and the only possible explanation for the picture falling - in his mind at least - is that heâd disappointed God.Â
Heâd done a hundred Hail Maryâs as repentance, and now that his secret has been put out where everyone can hear, he thinks maybe he should do fifty more for good measure.
âIâve gotta go,â Mark mumbles, handing Hyuck his drink.
Markâs roommate tries to stop him from scurrying away, but the damage has been done, and the man who scored the winning goal at the soccer game rushes back into the frat house with red ears that betray his shame.
âYou canât still be mad at me,â Hyuck whines, chasing after you as you exit the frat bathroom.
âWhy do you assume Iâm mad at you?â
âBecause I followed you to the toilet and you didnât wanna smash?â Your fuck buddy manages to pin you to the wall, hands on either side of your head while he looks at you with serious eyes, a contrast to the sentence thatâs just come out of his mouth.
âSometimes a girlâs just gotta pee, Hyuck,â you laugh.
âDonât play games, angel,â he insists. âYouâre mad about the Mark thing.â
âSo you admit I have something to be mad about.â
Hyuck lets out a sigh. âFine, yes.â He pulls away from you, throwing up a hand in defeat. âI shouldnât have told everyone his stupid Jesus picture story. There, I said Iâm sorry, are you happy now?â
âYou said what?â
He groans, and in one motion, heâs pinning you to the wall again, his lips just millimeters away from yours. When he speaks, his voice is low, and his eyes drill into your own, âIâm sorry.â
After a moment, you say softly, âI donât think Iâm the one you should be apologizing to.â
âYou want me to apologize to Mark?!âÂ
âAmong other things.â
Hyuck pulls away, looking you up and down. âYou better not be suggesting what I think your horny ass is suggesting.â
âI donât know,â you smirk. âWhat do you think Iâm thinking?â
âIt looks like youâre thinking about going upstairs to offer Mark help with getting over his Jesus sex fear.â
âAnd that would upset you?â You cock your head to the side, assessing your fuck buddy.
âAngel,â he groans, âyouâre mine.âÂ
âAm I though?â you counter. âAm I really?â
When youâd started sleeping with Hyuck, heâd made it clear that heâs not the kind of guy who likes to be tied down to one person. While he can be somewhat possessive, part of your arrangement is that you can both do what you want, and right now, youâre seriously considering fucking the sweet church boy youâve had a slight infatuation with since year one.
âFuck the fact that youâre not my girlfriend,â Hyuck says finally. âThere are bigger reasons you shouldnât do this.â
âYeah? Like what?â
âWell for one,â your fuck buddy leans in, his lips ghosting by your ear as he whispers, âMark has a massive crush on you.â
For some reason, you find yourself laughing. Leave it to Hyuck to spill two of Markâs biggest secrets in the span of one hour.Â
âIf Mark has a crush on me, then I have to do this. You can either join us, or go cry about it.â
Hyuck sighs. âFor an angel, you can be a bit of a fucking demon sometimes.â
âAnd you love it.âÂ
You and Hyuck are standing outside his bedroom. The door is locked when you try to open it, and Hyuck watches you let out a deep sigh before knocking. âMark? You in there?â
âOf course heâs in there,â Hyuck whispers, rolling his eyes.
âShh! Be nice!â you chastise him, playfully smacking his arm. Your voice is soft when you call out again, knocking gently a few more times. âMark? Please let me in.â
The music from downstairs is too loud for Hyuck to hear movement in his room, but after a few moments, the door opens and Mark peers out.
âOh, itâs both of you.â
âDonât sound so disappointed, Mark,â Hyuck nearly laughs, placing his palm on the wood so he can force it open before his friend tries to shut the door again. âI live here too, you know.â
âHow could I forget,â Mark sighs, heading over to flop onto his bed.
You and Hyuck enter the room, and he clicks the lock back into place behind him. He watches you approach his friend, sitting on the foot of the mattress.Â
When you reach out, ghosting your hand over Markâs shin, Hyuck leans back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He wouldnât define himself as a jealous type of guy, but watching you be gentle with Mark is definitely bringing up some suppressed emotions, and Hyuckâs not sure what to make of it.
âMark,â you stroke his leg. âHyuck has something to say to you.â
âHuh?!â Hyuckâs eyes widen, and he looks between you and his roommate.Â
Youâre going to make him proposition his friend for you?Â
âYeah, didnât you tell me you wanted to apologize?â Thereâs a warning tone in your voice, and when you look over your shoulder at Hyuck, you give him an expression filled with expectation.
âRight,â Hyuck coughs. âI uh⊠Iâm sorry for what happened at the fire.â
He can tell by your small eye roll that youâre not fully satisfied with his apology, but Mark doesnât seem to mind. The church boy sighs, running a hand over his face. âItâs okay,â he mumbles.
âItâs not okay,â you insist, turning your gaze back to Mark. âIâm also sorry for saying never have I ever eaten pussy. I was trying to attack Hyuck and make him drink, but you got caught in the crossfire.âÂ
âYou didnât mean to, though,â Mark says. âI shouldnât have joined the game. This is a lesson for me, I guess.â
âAw, Mark,â Hyuck canât see your face, but he knows youâre frowning. âWe wanted you to join the game. We like it when you do things with us.âÂ
Itâs interesting for Hyuck to hear you saying the royal âwe,â as if youâre a couple, a unit.Â
âIâm sure the incident with the Jesus picture was very traumatizing for you,â you continue, sounding as genuine as ever while your hand continues to smooth up and down Markâs leg. âI can understand why youâd be⊠apprehensive about doing anything sexual after that.â
Mark groans, covering his face with his hands. Hyuck canât help but smile when he sees his friendâs ears flaring red with embarrassment, itâs always so easy to get the church boy riled up.
âI just want you to knowâŠâ you shift a little where youâre seated, moving closer to Hyuckâs roommate, âthis is a safe space. If you ever wanted to⊠try something like that again, there arenât any Jesus pictures here to knock down.â
âWhat?â Markâs lips part with shock, and he looks between you and Hyuck. âAre you twoâŠâ
âPropositioning you?â Hyuck suggests. âYeah, she is.âÂ
âIâm not-â Mark swallows thickly. âI donât want your pity.â
âItâs not pity,â you assure him.Â
âShe wants to fuck you, Mark,â Hyuck says, trying to be helpful. âIt will be good for you.â
âGood for me?â Mark squeaks.
âYouâre a frat boy whoâs practically a virgin, dude,â Hyuck nearly laughs. âYouâve gotta dip your dick in the sinful water sometime. Whatâs life without eating a little pussy?â
âOh my god,â Mark groans, covering his face with his hands.Â
âItâs not that bad, Jesus wonât mind, you donât even have to put your dick in her!â Hyuck canât believe heâs the one backing this now, but he also canât really believe his roommate is a near-virgin.Â
âThis canât be happening-â Mark is still hiding his face, his ears as scarlet as ever.
âListen, â Hyuck sighs, âwe usually fuck while youâre at church on Sundays. But if you wanted, we could wait a little and let you join after your service tomorrow.â
Markâs eyes widen. âAfter my service? Are you two crazy?âÂ
âYou donât have to decide right now,â you assure him. âIâm sure this is a lot to take in, especially after the day you had. I donât think Iâve congratulated you on your goal in the game today yet-â
Hyuck scoffs at how you could be bringing that up right now.
âJust think about it,â you continue, giving Markâs thigh a gentle squeeze. âIâm going to go home now, but, tomorrow, if you want to try eating pussy, Hyuck and I will be here.â
Hyuck wonders what would happen if it was just you propositioning Mark. If heâd be more willing to agree. Itâs definitely an added level of sin to have Hyuck in the room while Mark rips his virgin bandaid off, but itâs not like Hyuckâs going to leave Mark alone with you.
Youâre his angel, even if youâre looking to save Mark.
Mark canât pay attention to the sermon. His palms are sweaty, no matter how many times he rubs them against his pants. He feels like - at any moment - a big Jesus statue could just fall over and everyone in the church would turn to him, knowing he was the cause due to his sinful thoughts.
What makes it worse, is the way he can feel blood rushing to his cock. Heâs half hard at the Sunday service, and heâs never felt like a worse Christain.Â
This experience definitely trumps the losing of his virginity, if thatâs even possible, and he hasnât even done anything with you yet.
But in the dark, back corners of his mind, Mark knows that will change. He knows he wonât be able to resist you, youâre just too tempting. He doesnât have that kind of control over himself, no matter how much he wishes he did.
When the service is over, Mark stands on shaky legs, grabbing a Bible to hold in front of his crotch while he exits the place of worship to head back to the frat.Â
The fresh air does little to calm his nerves. If anything, the closer he gets to his home, the more sinful he feels. He knows each step is one step closer to you, one step closer to religious paraphenia being miraculously moved by the hand of God-Â
Yet, he canât stop. He canât even alter his course, and when he reaches the frat, he doesnât say one word to the boys kicking around in the kitchen, he heads straight up to his room.Â
When he gets to his door, Mark pauses. His hands are shaky as he reaches for the knob, and for a second, he wonders if he should knock. Taking a deep breath, Mark decides to ignore his manners, pushing into the room.
Heâs almost relieved to find you and Hyuck sitting in his bed, fully clothed, watching something on Netflix.Â
âHiya, Mark,â Hyuck waves, as if their relationship isnât about to be completely altered.
âHow was Sunday service?â you ask.
âHow was it?â Mark shuts the door behind himself, giving his head a little shake as he hurries over to the closet to discard his jacket. âYou know, good.â
âWhy are you carrying a Bible?â Hyuck asks, looking him up and down. âDid you steal that from your church?â
Panic shoots through Mark. He had most definitely accidentally stolen it from his church, wihtout giving it a second thought. His mind had been so focused on you and covering his boner-Â
âI can give it back,â Mark insists, palms sweating again as he places the book gently on top of his backpack.Â
âYou look spooked, dude. Did some pastor try to touch you?âÂ
âHyuck!â you practically scream, slapping your hand over your fuck buddyâs mouth. âYou canât say things like that!â
Hyuck mumbles something against your hand that sounds like âhistorically accurate,â and Mark wants to strangle him.Â
âYou want to know why I look stressed?â Mark sighs. âBecause you two are sinners who propositioned me last night!â
Hyuck moves your hand from his mouth, smirking. âCome on, Mark, be sinners with us!â
âThis is not helping,â you whisper to your fuck buddy, gently pushing his shoulder before you stand from the bed, approaching Mark with an empathetic expression. âIâm sorry about last night, we shouldnât have pushed that on you.â
âItâs okay,â Mark shakes his head, refusing to meet your gaze.
âItâs not, weâre horrible, dirty, sinful people,â you reach out, linking your pinkie with Markâs. Itâs a small gesture, but it speaks volumes. âForget we ever said anything.â
âI canât forget,â Mark states, finally looking at you. He licks his lips, thinking of something else to say, but all that comes out is âI canât forget,â and itâs the truth.Â
You open your mouth, and Mark hangs on what your next words will be-
Hyuck interrupts the moment. âSo are you gonna eat pussy or what?â
âHyuck!â you yell, turning to flash a warning glare at the man whoâs giggling to himself on his bed.Â
Mark doesnât even want to focus on his friend right now. Instead, he reaches out, taking your other hand gently. He gazes down at your fingers, too scared to look at your face.Â
âI thinkâŠâ Mark swallows the lump in his throat. âI think we should do this.â
âReally?â you ask while Hyuck lets out a loud âWhat?!â
âYouâre both right⊠maybe it will be good for me.â Mark canât believe the words coming out of his own mouth. âBut- Iâm not sure what Iâm even ready for.â
âWe can go slow,â you assure him, squeezing his hand. âAnything youâre comfortable with.â
Mark looks up at you. âCan I⊠can I kiss you?â
Hyuck scoffs loudly, but itâs an afterthought in Markâs mind when you nod, reaching up to cup his face. âYou can kiss me,â you tell him softly.Â
Markâs free hand reaches out to grab your waist, and he moves closer. He can feel your breath on his face. Heâs never been this up close and personal with you, and youâve never been prettier. Thereâs a softness in your expression, an acceptance, and it makes Mark feel confident enough to press his lips to yours.
Itâs a gentle kiss - a perfect kiss - and Mark can feel the tension releasing in his shoulders.Â
You step even closer, and your breasts press against his chest, your arms wrapping around the back of his neck. Your tongue smooths over his bottom lip and Mark stifles a groan, opening his mouth just enough for his own tongue to meet yours.Â
He can count the number of girls heâs kissed during his life on one hand, including you, but none of them have happened like this. Mark had never imagined heâd end up in this situation before, and despite the calming effect you have on him, he still finds himself pulling away and struggling to catch his breath.
âI want to touch you,â he admits, in fact, heâs been thinking about it all day.Â
âYeah?â Thereâs a sparkle in your eye and you smile at him. âWhere?â
Mark canât bring himself to say it.
You gently take his hand, bringing it to your throat. âHere?â you ask, and Mark traces his thumb over your jugular, surprised to find your heart is racing just as fast as his own. âOrâŠâ you move his hand down, his palm cupping at your breast, âHere?âÂ
Mark lets out a low groan at the feeling of you. Heâs touched even less boobs than heâs kissed girls in his life, and yours are absolutely perfect in his hand.Â
âMark,â you whimper, and he brushes his fingers over your pebbled nipple, peaking through your shirt. He can feel his cock throbbing in his pants, and he shifts uncomfortably.Â
âOr maybeâŠâ you move his hand lower, dragging it across your stomach until it reaches your pussy through your sweatpants, âwere you thinking of touching me here?âÂ
He nods, still unable to speak as you guide him to apply more pressure to your core. You feel so warm, and a sinful voice in the back of his mind tells him youâre probably wet too. Or at least, he hopes youâre wet, hopes he has the same effect on you that you have on him.
You let out a soft moan, and itâs like music to his ears. You grind down slightly on his hand, wiggling your hips in a motion thatâs hypnotizing. âDo you want toâŠâ you bite at your lip, toying with the waistband of your sweats. âDo you want to put your hand inside?â
âGod, yes,â Mark groans, finally finding his voice.
You pull the waistband away from your skin, giving Mark access to slip his hand below it. Then your lips find his again, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while he teases his fingers along your panty clad core.
Youâre as wet as heâd hoped you would be, and Mark moans at the realization.Â
Heâs only watched porn a handful of times in his life, and always felt bad about it after, but he knows where the clit is, and he gently circles his fingers around the spot.
You gasp into his mouth, and Mark eats up the sound, applying more pressure.
âFuck, Mark, just like that-â you tell him, threading your fingers through his hair as you deepen the kiss.
You rut your hips, grinding down on his hand, and it drives Mark wild. He wants to touch you, really touch you, without any fabric in the way, and when he opens his mouth to ask, âCan I-â youâre agreeing without even hearing the end of the sentence.
He takes a breath, and then he moves your panties to the side.Â
The first swipe of his fingers through your pussy lips feels like nothing heâs ever felt before, and the wetness he collects against his skin makes his cock throb again.
He teases your opening, earning more gasps from you as your lips move to his neck. When your mouth makes contact on a spot just below his ear, a shiver runs through Markâs entire body. Heâs heard about sweet spots, but no one has ever kissed his, and the feeling has his eyes closing with pleasure.
Without a second though, Mark slides a finger into your pussy, and you mewl in his ear, holding him tighter. âSo good,â you whisper as he slowly thrusts the digit in and out of you, building the confidence to add another.Â
You're grinding down against him still, and his palm works your clit while his two fingers curl inside of you. The sounds youâre making are increasing in pitch and frequency, and youâre gently pulling on his hair, licking at the spot on his neck that has his body tingling.Â
Heâs never made a girl cum before, but he can tell by the way youâre reacting, that heâs going to get you there. He wants to get you there, more than heâs wanted any goal heâs ever scored in a soccer game.Â
The cool weight of the cross around his neck has Mark wondering if heâs going to go to hell for this. But can he really go to hell for something that feels this good? This right?
âIâm close,â you tell him. âDonât stop.âÂ
Mark works his fingers into you even faster, eager to have you coming undone on his hand-
A clinking sound in the periphery makes Markâs eyes open, and when he looks over at Hyuckâs bed, he sees his friend wiggling out of his pants.
âDude, what the Hell-â Mark freezes, making an attempt to pull his hand from your pants, but you latch onto his wrist, shaking your head.
âNo, Mark, please, Iâm so close, please-â Thereâs a look of desperation in your eye, and it has him swallowing thickly, focusing on you while he picks up his motions again.
âIâll wait,â Hyuck says in the background, and thereâs some comfort in that at least.
âMark, it feels so good, youâre so good at this-â you praise him, whispering in his ear while you work your hips faster against his hand.
âOh God-â Mark groans, watching your face contort with pleasure.Â
âThereâs no God here, dude,â comes Hyuckâs snarky voice.
Markâs eyes begin to shift to his friend, but you cup his face, forcing him to look at you. âFocus on me,â you tell him. âLike Iâm focused on you.âÂ
He swallows thickly, breathing deeply as he fingers you harder, earning all sorts of sinful moans that drown out anything Hyuck could ever bring to the situation.
âYes, Mark, yes- Iâm gonna-â Youâre gasping now, and you canât even finish your sentence. Your pussy clenches around Markâs fingers, your lips finding his as you cum.Â
He continues his motions, wanting to draw out every second of pleasure that he can-
Mark has heard all sorts of ideas about what Heaven could look like, but heâs never heard that Heaven could be standing in your frat house room, hand down your best friendâs fuck buddyâs pants, with her pussy throbbing around your fingers.Â
You begin to shake, reaching down to grab at his forearm, and Mark knows youâre finished. He doesnât want to hurt you, and he pulls his hand away, marveling at the slick thatâs covering his digits.
âHere,â you say gently, grabbing his wrist to guide his fingers to your mouth, licking them clean. Then you reach for him, bringing your mouth close to his own. âTaste me.â
Markâs never kissed a girl so fast in his life, and he groans at the flavour of your tongue. If this is what your pussy tastes like, Mark had missed out by passing up the opportunity to eat you out, but at the same time, heâs really not sure if heâs ready for that yet.
âOkay, you two,â Hyuckâs voice makes Mark draw back from you. âThis is enough teasing, Iâve gotta fuck something now or Iâm gonna explode. Mark, are you staying?â
The church boy swallows thickly and then he shakes his head. If heâs not ready to eat you out, heâs definitely not ready to watch his best friend fuck you. âIâve gottaâŠâ he stumbles for an excuse. âIâm gonna go shower.â
âRight, shower,â Hyuck rolls his eyes. âHave fun with that.â
You go in for one last kiss before Hyuck is pulling you away from Mark, and he watches for just a moment while Hyuck presses his own mouth against yours-
Mark tears his eyes away, reaching for a towel in his closet before escaping the room.
The towel covers his boner while he runs down the hallway to the bathroom, and he strips himself naked in record time, stepping into a shower stall.
His hand is around his throbbing cock not two seconds later, and Mark throws his head back, closing his eyes while his brain struggles to process everything thatâs just transpired.Â
It doesnât take long for him to work himself to the edge. His toes curl against the vinyl floor, and his vision goes practically black as he cums.Â
Thereâs no time to aim, and Mark feels sticky warm fluid coat his chest, but his hand doesnât stop. He jacks himself off until heâs a nearly overstimulated, gasping mess, and he thanks God for the water cleaning his body of the sinful filth.
Heâs never cum this hard in his entire life.
Youâre at your usual Wednesday lunch with the girls before class when you notice one of your friendâs looking at something over your shoulder. Sheâs done this a few times now, but when you turn in your seat to assess the room, you donât see anything out of the ordinary.
âAre you looking at someone?â you question.
âItâs justâŠâ Hyuna leans forward. âDid you do something to Mark?â
âWhat?â you look behind you again, thoroughly confused.
âEvery time you turn, he pulls his baseball cap down,â she explains. âHeâs over there, by the window. Green cap.â
When you scan the area again, you do notice a pair of cute red ears sticking out from a baseball cap, the guyâs head downcast as if heâs just staring at his french fries.
âHow many times has he looked over here?â you ask, grinning.
âLike, a lot.â Hyuna cocks her head. âYou did do something to Mark.â
You stand up, leaning forward. âActually, he did something to me.â With a wink to your girls, you turn to head off toward Markâs table.
He looks up once during your approach, and you see him scrambling with his bag. It would be very entertaining to watch him run away from you again, but he doesnât have the chance, as you arrive before heâs done shoving papers into his binder.Â
âHey, you.â You take the seat across from him. âHowâs it going?â
âGood.â His voice is shaky, and you find it adorable.Â
âYou knowâŠâ you reach your foot out under the table, grazing it by his calf. âI canât get you out of my head either.â
Mark coughs, adjusting the cap on his head. âWhat?âÂ
âI said, I canât get you out of my head either.â Youâre enjoying the effect you have on him, and youâre very aware of how public the space is. You donât think Markâs going to confirm that heâs been thinking about you, so instead, you ask, âAre you planning to go to church on Sunday?â
âYeah, of course,â he swallows thickly.Â
âDo you think youâll be able to pay attention while youâre there?âÂ
âI uh, I-â Mark stutters over his words. âI think so?â
You study the pretty virginal frat boy. As soft as youâve been with him so far, you feel like teasing him, just to see how he reacts. âJust so you know, if, while youâre at Sunday service, a Jesus picture falls down, itâs because Jesus knows what you did.â
Mark lets out a groan, and you see his neck has turned red now too. âI-â Markâs gaze dips down to your breasts, which are pushed together in your low neckline shirt as you lean forward. âI have to go-â he grabs his things, fumbling with all of them while he stands abruptly.Â
The loud sound of his chair scraping across the ground draws a few eyes, and the pool boy nearly knocks the table over in his haste. You notice the way he immediately holds his binder over his crotch, and you lick your lips while looking up at him.
âSee you later,â he mumbles, running away.
You watch him enter the menâs bathroom, and you think you can imagine what heâs going in there to do. Last time heâd run away from you, Hyuck had mentioned he was probably going to jack off in the showers.
The frat bathroom is one thing for a quick wank, but a public restroom is another.
You shake your head, walking back to your girls table, Markâs tray of fries in your hand. Theyâre all gawking at you.Â
âDamn,â Hyuna whistles. âI know you just said he did things to you, but girl, you definitely did a number on that church boy.âÂ
Thereâs nothing Hyuck loves more in the world than making you cum on his cock. He loves the noises you make, gripping at his bed sheets as your orgasm overtakes you. He loves being the source of your high.
What he doesnât love however, is the way that today, you immediately ask, âHowâs Mark doing?â as Hyuck pulls out of you.
He canât help but laugh slightly, shaking his head at you. âBeen acting weird all week.âÂ
âDo you think heâs going to join us tomorrow after church? Iâm kind of shocked he wasnât here today, if Iâm being honest.â
âIs that why you came over? Wanted to see your precious little Mark?â Hyuck lands a smack to your inner thigh that has you giggling. âAnd yeah. Heâll probably join tomorrow. Jeno says heâs walked in on Mark jacking off in the shower like, four times this week. Itâs actually starting to be a bit of a problem.â
âIs frat boys jacking off in the shower not a common occurrence around here?â
âIt is, but not when itâs Mark,â Hyuck laughs. âThat guy needs to get fucked.â
âIâm not sure heâs ready for that yet.âÂ
Hyuck studies you. âWhat makes you say that?â
âJust a feeling.â
âWell, maybe he just needs to cum properly.â
You sit up, teasing your hands over Hyuckâs thighs. âTell me, how does a guy âcum properly.ââ
âBuried inside something nice, and wet, and warm,â Hyuck reaches out to grasp your chin. âYour mouth would work.â
You laugh at the idea, âMaybe if he lets me,â and Hyuck grins, getting off the bed to pull on his pants.Â
âIâm gonna head to the kitchen for water, need anything?â
âJust you,â you tease. âHurry back.â
âYou got it, angel,â Hyuck winks at you before heading to the door. He pulls on his shirt as he exits the room, but just when he gets his head through the neck hole, he catches a quick glimpse of one mister Mark Lee rushing into the bathroom at the end of the hall.
Had Mark been listening this whole time? Had he been outside of the door, listening to Hyuck fuck you?Â
The thought makes Hyuck laugh again, and his ego triples in size. Thereâs something very⊠intriguing about this whole situation with the fratâs âdesignatedâ virginal church boy, even if this experience is making Hyuck rethink his ideas of commitment.Â
If the last Sunday service had been torture, today might just be Hell for Mark.Â
Heâs sweating, shaking even, his knee bobbing up and down anxiously while he sits in the back row.Â
Heâd returned the Bible heâd stolen last time, but he fears that he might end up taking it again. Every time he thinks about you, thinks about what it felt like to have his hand down your pants while you sucked on his neck-Â
No, he canât think about it. He canât-
But itâs too late, he feels his cock growing in his pants, and shame washes over him. He runs a hand through his hair, fanning himself and taking deep breaths.Â
Itâs not ten minutes into the hour long service, and already, heâs at his breaking point.Â
Mark battles with himself for another two minutes, and he finally gives up. When everyone stands to sing, he quietly excuses himself from the back row, ducking out of the church without looking back.Â
âMark?â you sit up hastily from Hyuckâs embrace, blinking at the boy whoâs just entered the room. âYouâre back from church early!â
âYeah, I couldnât sit through it,â Mark mumbles, throwing his jacket in the closet before collapsing on his bed, running a hand through his hair.
âThatâs unlike you,â Hyuck sits up next to you. âAre you sick or something?â
âDefinitely sick in the head,â Mark groans.Â
âEnjoying sex doesnât make you bad,â you tell him. âBesides, we havenât even fucked yet.â
Mark sighs. âYet.â
âSo you were thinking about her fucking you while you were in church,â Hyuck grins next to you. âThatâs sinful, Mark.â
âI know!â Mark flops onto his stomach, shoving his face against his pillow.
You look at Hyuck, and he makes a face, motioning to his friend. âSay somethingâ he mouths.
âNo, you say something!â you mouth back. Â
Instead, Hyuck simply pushes you out of his bed, and you stumble onto your feet.Â
âMarkâŠâ you approach the sulking churchboy. âI know a few things that could cheer you up.âÂ
Mark groans, but he sits up all the same, looking at you with eyes that tell you he wants you to elaborate.
âI was thinkingâŠâ you swallow, choosing your words. âBased on your history, it sounds like maybe youâve never had someone go down on you before-â
âFuck, sheâs so good with her mouth,â Hyuck quips.Â
âI know this whole thing started with you not eating pussy, but, seeing as you made me cum last week with your fingers, I thought I could return the favour somehow.âÂ
Markâs lips part, and he allows you to take his hands, pulling him to be standing in front of you.Â
âWhat do you say Mark?â You lean forward, your lips almost touching. âCan I suck you off? Pretty please?â
Instead of answering, he kisses you, cupping the back of your neck.Â
Your first kiss with Mark had been slow and gentle, but thereâs a new fire in him now, and itâs only a moment before his tongue is gliding past your lower lip, begging for entrance. You release a groan, reaching down to loop your fingers in the waistband of his pants, pulling him tighter to your body.
You can feel that heâs already hard, and you love how easy it is to turn him on. You love the way heâs already becoming more explorative in the way he interacts with you, his hand steady on the back of your neck, insistent that you stay lip locked.Â
For a guy who doesnât kiss girls much, heâs a phenomenal kisser. Thereâs emotion in it, and he tastes like spearmint.Â
You get lost in the feeling of him, but after only a little while, youâre aching to touch him properly. Your hand slips down, cupping him through his pants. The church boy shivers at the contact, and you squeeze him. Itâs the first time youâve really touched his cock, and you bet heâs already aching-
He releases the back of your neck, and you take it as a sign to begin kissing down his body. You start at his throat, licking the sensitive spot that has him grabbing your hips and releasing a moan. He makes such pretty sounds-
You continue rubbing his cock, but when your mouth gets to his collarbone, you grab at his shirt. âCan this come off?â
âYeah,â Mark mumbles, releasing you so he can unbutton the nice church shirt heâs wearing.Â
When he discards the fabric, revealing his body to you, you simply enjoy it for a moment.Â
Mark and Hyuck both have such wonderful bodies. Sure, some of your friends make good arguments about the muscled forms of Jaehyun, Johnny and Jeno, but you prefer Markâs understated physique.Â
Heâs a soccer player, and his body is perfectly athletic without being too much to handle.
Your kisses begin to descend, and you find yourself pausing at the cross necklace. You lean forward and press your lips to it softly. Mark lets out a shaky breath.Â
You know heâs watching you, and this is your way of showing him you still respect his religion, despite persuading him to partake in the more âsinfulâ side of life.
âWait,â Mark says, and he lets go of you to reach behind his neck, fumbling with the clasp. You watch him with curiosity as he removes the cross, holding it gently and placing it onto his bedside table.
You donât think youâve ever seen him without the gold chain around his throat, and you wonder what the removal of it could mean, but you try not to think too hard about it.
You sink to your knees on the floor, undoing his belt and looking up at Mark. If he doesnât want this, he can stop you, and you give him more than enough time to make that decision. But Mark only watches you, breathing heavily as you undo the button, then the zipper-
âYou want this?â you ask, hooking your fingers in his pants and briefs.
He nods. âI want you.â
You smile, tugging the fabrics down so they pool at his feet.Â
âYou have such a pretty cock,â you whisper, grabbing the base and swiping your thumb across the leaking tip. You notice the way Markâs chest and neck flush pink, as if heâs embarrassed by your words, but you know that praise is good for Mark.Â
You press a kiss to the head of his cock, suckling a little while Mark moans above you.Â
It looks like heâs not sure where to place his hands, so you reach for one, placing it on your cheek while you take more of him into your mouth.Â
âGod-â Mark whispers.
âShe feels good, right?â Hyuck asks.
âYeah,â Mark nods. âReally good.â
Having them both give you praise has your pussy throbbing, and it encourages you to sink further down onto his cock, sucking harder-
âShit-â Mark nearly whimpers, and you think this might be the first time youâve heard him swear.Â
You know itâs wrong, and bad, and dirty, and sinful- but thereâs something about corrupting Mark that has you going insane. You bob up and down on his cock, stroking the base that you canât reach with your mouth.Â
âThis is too hot,â Hyuck says. âIâve gotta join.â
âHow-â Mark begins to ask, but a second later, hands are pulling you off of Markâs cock.
âBoth of you, on the bed,â Hyuck instructs. âYouâve heard of spit roasting, right, Mark?â
âI-â the church boyâs skin is flushed again, and when you hop up on the bed, he follows, clamoring after you.Â
âLook, youâll have her mouth,â Hyuck gets on the mattress behind you, and you hear him undoing his belt, âand Iâll have her perfect pussy. Itâs a win, win.â
Mark doesnât argue, his eyes moving down to meet yours as you take his dick back into your mouth, picking up where youâd left off.
Hyuck, meanwhile, tears your pants down, and a moment later his fingers are gliding through your pussy. âFuck, angel, youâre soaked. Sucking Markâs cock really turns you on, huh?â
You groan a sound of affirmation around Mark, and his hand is quick to grab your head again, fingers flexing in your hair.Â
âYou can fuck her face if you want,â Hyuck suggests, working two fingers into you easily. âShe loves getter her throat fucked-â
Markâs hips twitch at the words, but he doesnât follow through. You think maybe he doesnât want to hurt you, and itâs an endearing idea.
Hyuck pulls his digits from your core, and theyâre replaced with the head of his cock, which he rubs the length of your pussy, teasing your clit before pushing into you.
Your fuck buddy lets out a loud groan, his hands finding your hips as he sinks his length fully into your core.Â
âDude,â Hyuck breathes, âher pussy is literally Heaven-â
His first thrust sends you further onto Markâs cock, and the man above you gasps when he hits the back of your throat.Â
âIs fucking pussy going against God?â Hyuck asks, in an almost rhetoric manner. âIsnât there some weird church loophole where anal doesnât count? Her ass is great too, scoutâs honor.â
At this point, youâre pretty sure Markâs not even listening to Hyuck. Heâs much too focused on your lips wrapped around him, and the sounds slipping out of him make you think maybe heâs close to the edge.
All things considered - for a guy whoâs never been blown - Markâs lasting remarkably well, but you donât want him to last. You want him to cum, like he deserves to cum.Â
When you suck harder, you feel Markâs cock twitch, and he lets out a groan. âShit, Iâm gonna-â
âCum in her mouth,â Hyuck states, pace getting rougher inside of you. âDo it. Sheâs a good girl. Sheâll swallow. Fuck, itâs so hot when she swallows.âÂ
Mark moans, and he pushes his hips forward, sending his cock into the back of your throat. Your gag reflex is the thing that makes him cum, and an âOh my God!â leaves his lips as he explodes down your throat.
Hyuckâs right, you are a good girl, and you swallow every drop, working Mark through his orgasm until heâs gasping. He pulls out of your mouth, and Hyuck takes the opportunity to fuck you even harder.
Now that you can moan freely, you fill the room with sounds of your own pleasure. When Mark gets off the bed, you fall onto your face, turning to press your cheek to the mattress while you watch Mark find his pants on the floor.Â
His eyes meet yours, and you can see his pupils are blown. Itâs so incredibly sexy to have Hyuck fucking you on Markâs bed while Mark watches, and your pussy throbs around Hyuckâs cock.Â
âFuck, you just got so tight, angel,â Hyuck groans, fingers digging into your waist while his hips buck wildly. âShit, Iâm not going to last like this-â
You reach a shaky hand under your body, finding your clit, and it only makes your pussy clamp down harder on your fuck buddy, who releases another loud moan.Â
âYou close, angel? Sucking off Mark must have really got you going-âÂ
âIâm close,â you confirm, grabbing at the bedsheet with your free hand while your fingers continue on your clit.Â
âYeah, you are,â Hyuck growls. âThatâs my good girl, my perfect angel. I want you to cum so bad, itâll tip me over the edge- Fuck! Iâm gonna fill you up so good, so fucking good-â
You love it when Hyuck talks dirty like this, and you gasp as you get closer and closer to your high-
âCome on,â Hyuck lands a smack to your ass, and the pained pleasure has you crying out, rubbing your clit harder. âCum for me,â he commands.
Itâs all you need to reach the edge, and you fall over it with a loud moan, forcing your eyes to stay open while you stare at Mark, who watches you with parted lips and a dazed expression.
âThatâs it, thatâs it-â Hyuck grunts, pace faltering as he cums too, fulfilling his promise of filling you up just the way you like it. He fucks you through your highs, and your hand falls from your clit to the bed, body on the cusp of overstimulation as Hyuckâs motions begin to slow.
As things come to a stop, Hyuck lets out a deep breath. âMark, come over here, youâve gotta see this.â
âI donât want to look at your dick,â comes Markâs quick retort.
âThen donât look at my dick, look at her pussy with my cum dripping out of it. Trust me, itâs so fucking hot-â Hyuck pulls out of you, and you whine at the loss.
You watch Mark go around the side of the bed, and you can feel both of their eyes on your hole, which is already beginning to drip Hyuckâs cum-
You place a hand under your core, not wanting to get any of this on Markâs bed, and Hyuck laughs loudly.Â
âArenât you two worried about pregnancy?â Mark asks.
âThatâs what birth control is for,â Hyuck says. âCumming inside feels like nothing else in the whole world.â
âWhat about STIâs?â
âWell, I meanâŠâ Hyuck gets off the bed, and you watch him grab a tissue from his desk, âweâre only really fucking each other and weâre both clean soâŠâ
âWait, you two only sleep with each other?â Mark sounds justifiably confused. âSo⊠why arenât you two⊠why arenât you two dating?â
Itâs a very good question, and from the way Hyuck brushes it off with a âyou knowâ and a topic change, it feels as if neither of you really have a good answer. âAnyways, you have to try this sometime,â Hyuck says again. âNext Sunday.âÂ
Mark sighs. âCanât we do this on any day but Sunday?â
âWhere would be the fun in that, church bitch?â
You let out a groan of annoyance, but you think youâre starting to understand this is just the way their relationship is.Â
Getting through a full week while being on the same campus as you is starting to feel like Markâs own personal Hell. Every time he so much as catches a glimpse of you running between classes, blood rushes to his cock.Â
Hell, even at soccer practice with Hyuck, every time Mark looks at his forward position roommate, all he can think about is the visual of Hyuck fucking you from behind on his own bed.Â
By Friday, heâs too pent up to even attend his last class, and he rushes back to the frat to get some shower time.
Heâs becoming much too used to jacking off in the shower, but he really canât help himself.Â
Mark feels like an absolute sinner, especially with the cross necklace around his neck. Today, something comes over him, and he takes it off, wrapping the gold chain around his right hand. He looks at it for a moment, and thereâs almost something like curiosity-
He wraps his hand around his cock, flinching a little at the cold metal on his heated skin. As he begins to move his fist up and down his aching length, the bite of the necklace feels like repentance, like something he deserves.Â
Mark takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he thinks about you.Â
He thinks about the sounds you make, the expression on your face as you cum- how your mouth had felt on his throbbing cock-Â
He canât believe how easy it is to get himself to the edge, especially with the added pain of the necklace around his hand. Does this make him even worse? It shouldnât be this easy to cum- it shouldnât be, but it is.
When he reaches the edge, itâs not Godâs name on Markâs lips, itâs yours.
He gasps, body tingling as he pumps his way through it, the necklace biting into his skin-
âJesus Christ Mark! Get a fucking room!â comes Jenoâs voice. âSome of us are just trying to fucking shower!â
The outburst makes shame flood through his body, but it also only adds to the powerful sensation in his cock, his cum shooting across his chest.Â
Markâs decides heâs definitely going to Hell for this.
Another Saturday win for the soccer team means another frat party, and Hyuck loves the attention you give him on days when he gets a goal. Youâre even touchier than usual, praising him for his skills-
Yet, Hyuck finds it hard to focus on you with Mark blatantly staring from across the room.Â
Hyuck has enjoyed sharing you with his roommate, more than he ever thought he would, but tonight, he wants you for himself, and when you begin kissing his neck, pushing him against the wall, Hyuckâs had enough of this public bullshit.
âMy room, now,â he commands.Â
With a giggle, you turn, darting off towards the stairs, and Hyuck follows you with a smile. As he climbs the steps in twos, he gets a feeling heâs being followed, and he stops on the first landing to turn and look at Mark.
âWhat are you doing?â
âHuh?â Mark blinks. âIâm uh⊠coming with you?â
âItâs Saturday.â
âSo?â
âSo,â Hyuck sighs, âyou only get access to angels on Sundays, all good Christians should know that.â
âBut-â Mark opens his mouth to argue but Hyuckâs not in the mood for it tonight.
âNo joining,â he says firmly. But as he looks at Markâs defeated expression, Hyuck feels something like pity. âI guess you can stand outside the door and listen, you perv.â
Markâs skin flares with embarrassment, but as Hyuck continues up the stairs, he gets the suspicion that Markâs going to do exactly what heâd just suggested.
When you arrive at the frat house on Sunday afternoon, Hyuck is waiting for you in the living room. He pulls you into a kiss, and his lips linger against your own, his fingers digging into your hips. âAre you ready for today, my little demon?â
You laugh. âIâm always ready. But we have to wait till Mark gets back from church.â
âYeah, yeah,â Hyuck rolls his eyes. âWe could always start without him.â
âThat wouldnât be very nice,â you note, grinning at your fuck buddy.
âMaking me wait isnât very nice,â Hyuck counters.
âItâs important to learn how to be patient,â you tell him, pressing another peck to his lips. âCome on, Iâm sure we can find an episode of something to watch on Netflix.â
When you get to Hyuckâs room, the last thing you expect is to find Mark waiting for you. Heâs sitting on his bed, staring at the floor, and his head snaps up as you enter.
âMark?â You canât hide your confusion. âShouldnât you be at church?â
âIâm not going today,â he states, standing and placing his cross necklace on the bedside table.
âIs something wrong?â you ask, walking over to grab his hands, assessing him for head injury.
âEverything is wrong,â Mark sighs. âDoing this with you two is wrong. Wanting you this badly is wrong. Getting hard in church is wrong. What I want to do to you is wrong. But⊠as crazy as it sounds, it also feels right.â
Hyuck lets out a whistle behind you, and you hear him locking the door. âDamn, Mark, Iâm actually kind of impressed.â
âSoâŠâ you look into Markâs eyes, âdoes this mean youâre ready?â
He nods. âYeah⊠Iâm ready.â
âAre you sure about that, church boy?â your fuck buddy asks. âDo you want us to put up a cross and see if it falls down as a sign that God thinks youâre a sinner?â
Mark takes a deep breath, and his eyes shift to Hyuck over your shoulder. âFuck God, and fuck the cross.â
Your lips part in shock, and Mark takes that moment to grab your face and kiss you. Itâs the hungriest kiss youâve had from him so far, and you melt into his embrace, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and pressing your chest to his own.Â
His tongue explores yours, as confident as ever, and his hands move down to your hips, needy and rough. When his palm slips down to grab your ass, your moan loudly, all consumed by this new Mark.Â
âShit, dude,â Hyuck whispers from behind you. âGuess I should stop calling you church boy.âÂ
Mark lets out a groan, and then heâs tossing you onto his bed. A squeal of delight escapes you at the roughness of it all.Â
âI wanna taste you,â Mark states, breathing heavily as he looks down at you with dark eyes.
âThen taste me,â you say simply, already grabbing at your pants to push them down.
Mark helps you tug them off, and then his own fingers are hooking in the waistband of your panties, tearing them down your legs with one rough motion.
âOh my God, Mark-â you gasp, shocked at his sudden change in attitude.
The man who gets on the bed between your legs isnât the same man who had whimpered while he fingered you two weeks ago. Heâs not a soft church boy worried about boundaries, heâs a confident man who knows what he wants. And what he want is you.Â
You canât even take a moment to breathe before Markâs pressing his tongue against your pussy, hands firmly grabbing at your thighs while he licks a stripe of your most sensitive area.
âFuck,â you groan, reaching down to thread your fingers through his hair.
His response is a moan that sends shivers through your body, his lips suctioning around your clit like heâs a seasoned pro. Thereâs no hesitation or worry about correctness, thereâs only a pussy deprived man who seems to know exactly what to do to have your toes curling as you drag them across his back.
Youâve had good oral sex before, Hyuckâs particularly skilled in this field, but as wild as your fuck buddy is, heâs never been feral like this.Â
Markâs tongue is unpredictable, lapping at you and pushing into your hole, teasing your walls as he rubs his nose against your clit. âShit, Mark, youâre so good-â
âBetter than me?â Hyuck asks.
You hate to admit it, but when a strangled âYes!â leaves your lips, it only makes Mark go harder on you.Â
You have no brain space to focus on Hyuck, your eyes closed as Markâs tongue pleasures you like no one ever has before.Â
Itâs like he knows your body already, as if heâs divinely guided-Â
The thought has your pussy throbbing, and as if he senses your need, Mark lets go of one of your thighs, adjusting so he can slip a finger into you while his tongue returns to your clit.
âShit, just like that-â you gasp, legs quivering over his shoulders.
Another digits slips into your wet hole, and more moans leave you as the church boy finger fucks you even better than he did last time.Â
Youâre consumed by Mark, completely, and it feels like Heaven to get lost in the pleasure heâs providing you.Â
You apply a bit of pressure on his head, wanting him to go harder on you, and he rewards you by sucking your clit into his mouth, tongue flicking the sensitive bud.
âFuck-â you moan, pushing your hips up toward his face. Youâre already so close to cumming that itâs almost insane, and you trust that this time, nothing Hyuck could do in your periphery would prompt Mark to let up on you.
He seems Hellbent on getting you to the edge, and as his fingers crook up to stroke your gspot, you know heâs going to accomplish his task with flying colours.Â
âSounds like sheâs close, dude,â Hyuck muses, reading your reactions like the back of his hand.
When you turn your head to open your eyes, you find Hyuck has his cock out, and heâs stroking it, gaze fixed on the man between your legs.Â
Thereâs something so⊠fulfilling about being watched like this. To know that Hyuckâs just as turned on as you and Mark, even though heâs taking no part in your pleasure.Â
Hyuck has a nice cock, and the sight of his fist wrapped tightly around it has even more lust coursing through your body.Â
To have both men worshipping you in this way- itâs unlike anything youâve ever experienced.Â
âIâm gonna-â you stutter, licking your lips as the pleasure builds between your legs.
âCum for me,â Mark groans against your pussy. âPlease, angel, I want you to cum.âÂ
The âpleaseâ is the cherry on top, as is the petname that usually only Hyuck ever uses on you, and combined, they throw you over the edge.Â
You cry out, rutting your pussy against Markâs face while he tongue and finger fucks you through your orgasm.
The church boy lets out sinful sounds, and you can tell heâs enjoying being used like this, enjoying making you come undone on his fingers. Your pussy is throbbing around him, and his unrelenting digits continue stroking the spot that has you tinging with overwhelming pleasure.
âMark!â you nearly scream, overtaken by the kind of ecstasy youâve never felt before.Â
âFuck, dude,â Hyuck breathes, âyou made her squirt-â
Youâre almost twitching when Mark finally pulls his tongue from your clit, and his fingers slow before slipping out of you. You open your eyes to watch him lick them clean, and he lets out a deep groan, clearly enjoying the taste of you.
You need him to fuck you, like youâve never needed anyone - even Hyuck - to fuck you in your entire life.Â
âPlease,â you whimper. âMark-â
âLet me get a condom,â he states, sitting up-
âNo!â you reach out to grab at him, locking eyes with him as you state, âI want you raw.âÂ
Itâs the first time today that he looks unsure. âI donât-â
âIâm clean,â you insist, âand so are you-âÂ
âBruh, just raw dog it,â Hyuck says. âTrust us-â
With one last look between your thighs, Mark relents, and he gets back on the bed, tugging off his shirt and his pants while you work on getting yourself naked.Â
As soon as youâre both bare, Mark is laying his body over yours, pressing you into the bed while his lips move feverishly against your own. You tangle your fingers in his hair, enjoying the feeling of his cock trapped between your bodies, rubbing over your clit as he rocks his hips.
âPlease,â you whimper, wrapping your legs around his hips. âInside-âÂ
Mark pulls away from your lips, breathing heavily as he looks into your eyes. His gaze shifts down, and he reaches a hand to grab the base of his length, teasing it against your pussy.
You moan loudly as he toys with your clit, and then heâs testing the head of his cock against your aching hole. The tip slips just inside and you whimper, only for him to pull back, then do it again-
âGod, Mark-â You dig your nails into his shoulders, throwing your head back against the pillows and closing your eyes.
He pushes his cock deeper inside of you, and you both let out groans of pleasure. His mouth returns to yours while he slowly sinks into your pussy, until his hips are flush against your own.Â
âFuck,â Mark whimpers, twitching from the new sensation.Â
âTold you raw was the way to go,â Hyuck says, as if heâs the most helpful person in the room.
Both you and Mark ignore your fuck buddy, and Mark takes a test thrust that has you both gasping.Â
âJust like that,â you encourage him. âFuck, youâre doing so good-âÂ
His lips return to yours, and the kiss takes your breath away as he begins to find a slow pace. Each thrust is deep, intentional, and in some odd way, this doesnât feel like fucking. Fucking is hard, fast, fevered- but this is different. This is more like making love.
Mark sucks on your bottom lip, and he adjusts one of his hands so it can come up to grab at your breast, his thumb ghosting over your nipple and making you shiver. Your body reacts, pussy throbbing around Markâs cock, and he groans into your mouth.
âFeels like Heaven,â he whispers, massaging your boob with a loving hand.Â
Your skin tingles at his words. You can take the church boy out of church, but you can't take the church out of the church boy.Â
His pace is getting faster, and each thrust has the pleasure building in the pit of your stomach. Itâs insane how this is Markâs first time- it sounds like he hadnât gotten far with the last girl heâd had under him before the Jesus picture incident-Â
Heâs an absolute natural, and each brush of his lips against yours has you feeling closer to him than ever before. His cock fits perfectly in your pussy, and the sounds continuing to escape him tell you that he feels just as good as you do.
âIâm not-â Mark gasps, kisses moving to your throat. âIâm not going to last long-â
âThatâs okay,â you assure him, gently rubbing his back. âIâm proud of you.â
He groans, sucking on your neck. Markâs hand moves down to your hip, anchoring you to the bed while he ruts into you faster. You know youâre close, but it can be hard to cum without clit stimulation, so you sneak your own palm down your abdomen, fingers seeking out your most sensitive spot.
You both groan when you make contact with your clit, and Markâs breath is hot against your throat. âYou close?â he asks.
âAlmost,â you nod, rubbing soft circles around your clit while Markâs cock slides in and out of your pussy.Â
âYaâll better cum quick or I might bust a nut just watching.â Hyuckâs voice makes you laugh, but the laugh quickly becomes a moan as Mark fucks you harder, fingers digging into your hip.
âIâm so close,â Mark whispers. âPlease, this feels too good-âÂ
âMark,â you whimper, loving how sweetly he talks to you while buried balls deep in your pussy.Â
âPlease, angel, I canât hold on much longer-â
Your skin tingles at the idea that heâs working hard not to cum, that he wonât allow himself to get there until you can reach your high with him. Heâs such a soft boy, the most perfectly wonderful man youâve ever fucked-
âIâm gonna-â you bite at your lip, closing your eyes and focusing on the feeling of ecstasy that youâre so close to reaching-Â
âCum with me,â Mark begs. âCum with me, angel, cum-â
The desperation in his voice is what finally sends you over the edge, and you gasp as your core clamps down on him. Mark echoes your sound of pleasure, groaning loudly in your ear as his fingers dig into your hip.Â
You can feel him filling you up, and it makes you extra sensitive as you ride out your orgasm, clutching his shoulders like a lifeline.Â
To Markâs credit, he fucks you through it, hips only faltering slightly before the end.
When youâre both done, you pull your hand away from your clit, and Mark all but collapses on top of you, breathing heavily as he buries his face against your neck.Â
You can hardly have a moment of peace with Mark before Hyuckâs pulling at his shoulder. âMy turn,â your fuck buddy insists. âCome on dude, Iâve been waiting forever-â
A laugh bubbles out of you at Hyuckâs antics, and with a loud groan, Mark gets off of you. Thereâs a dazed look in his eyes as he rolls onto his back in the small twin bed next to you. You wonder if heâs going to just lay there-
Hyuckâs not having it, and he reaches down to scoop you up in his arms, tossing you onto his own mattress.Â
âFuck, angel,â Hyuck looks down at your body. âHow do you want it?â
You consider it for a moment, and then roll onto your stomach, lifting your hips as an invitation.
Hyuck groans loudly. âGod, youâre perfect.â
Heâs straddling your legs not a second later, grabbing your waist to tug you up a little bit more while he glides his cock between your closed thighs, grazing your pussy.Â
âShit, this is going to be so good,â Hyuck mutters to himself, using one hand to wrap around the base of his cock and guide it to your entrance.
He moans as he slips inside. âFuck- Iâve never banged you using another guyâs cum as lube before, but shit, angel, I could get used to this.â
His words make you feel dirty, sinful even, a little like a whore- but something inside of you actually enjoys it.Â
âHyuck-â you whimper at how good the position feels. With your legs closed and your ass in the air, things feel more snug, and the angle has Hyuck hitting a sweet spot inside of you that has your eyes rolling into the back of your head.
His breath is hot against your back as he begins rutting into you, and you grab onto Hyuckâs pillow, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne that has perfumed the material.Â
âYou look so good like this,â your fuck buddy says, and the slapping of his hips against your ass is making you go crazy. âIâm never going to get used to the way you look with my cock buried in your perfect fucking pussy.â
Your grip on his pillow tightens, the praise going straight to your core, which throbs around him.
âYeah, I know you love it when I praise you. You just love being made out to be an angel while doing dirty shit an angel would never do.âÂ
He knows you so well it almost hurts. And when he talks to you like this, it makes you wonder why he hadnât asked you to be his girlfriend yet. Although, if you had been his girlfriend a few weeks ago, you would have never propositioned Mark, and the idea makes you sad.
You open your eyes, looking over at the church boy youâve come to enjoy spending time with.Â
Markâs watching you, and as Hyuck fucks you harder, you have to break the eye contact in favour of pressing your face into the pillow. Your sounds are just getting too loud, even for a frat house.
Your pussy feels like magic, to have been fucked by Mark and now Hyuck- you know youâll be cumming again soon, whether you want to or not.
âI can feel you clenching, angel,â Hyuck laughs, as if reading your mind. âSo this is as good for you as it is for me.âÂ
âSo good,â you confirm, which only prompts him to fuck you faster, gliding in and out of your cum lubed hole easier than ever before.
âWatching Mark have you first was torture,â Hyuck tells you. âI was so close to busting multiple times- but I held out, because we both know youâre going to love being filled with us both. Dirty fucking angel.â
You whine at his words, so close to the edge you can almost taste it.
âDonât be shy,â the man fucking you announces, âcum on this cock. I know you want to.â
Your skin tingles on the cusp of pleasure-
âBe a good little angel and cum for us.âÂ
Thereâs something about the word âusâ that just does it for you, and you let out a loud gasp as you fall apart. Hyuck echoes your sound, fingers digging into your hips as he reaches his own release. He fucks you even harder, groaning while your pussy clenches around his twitching cock.
âJust like that, just like that-â he pants, encouraging you while he rides you through your highs.
Youâre not sure how long you cum, but when Hyuck finally slows to a stop inside of you, you think you might just pass out from all the pleasure youâve received in such a short time.
Your fuck buddy leans over your back, pressing a kiss to your shoulder that moves up to your neck, and you tilt your head to give him better access.
âThatâs our angel,â Hyuck muses softly in your ear.
You find yourself smiling. Itâs the happiest youâve been in months.Â
Nothing else matters, all there is right now is safety and love and acceptance⊠and maybe a little bit of filth.
When Hyuck pulls out of your pussy, you feel yourself immediately begin to drip, and you do your due diligence, shifting your hand under your body to collect the fluid so it doesnât ruin Hyuckâs bed.
Your fuck buddy grabs a few tissues, and then heâs sitting by your thighs, spreading your ass cheeks so he can get a good look at you while he groans at the sight.
âYouâre so fucking hot,â he says, gently wiping your abused hole, cleaning you of his and Markâs cum. âI donât think you even know how hot you are.â
Heâs probably right about that, but youâre sure that if you keep doing this with him and Mark, theyâll make you learn.
When Hyuckâs done with his very basic aftercare, he flops onto the bed behind you, back to the wall while he cradles you to his chest. His lips return to your shoulder, and the soft kisses make you whimper from sensitivity.
Then- something is falling on you, and you jolt, eyes snapping open-
âShit,â Hyuck groans, and you realize the soccer poster has slipped off the wall and onto your bodies.
Your gaze immediately goes to Mark, and you see a look of shock in his expression. âOh my God-â
âItâs not God,â Hyuck assures you both. âItâs probably just Jeno fucking some chick on the other side of the wall.â As if to prove his point, your fuck buddy bangs the wall three times, and a moment later there are three returned bang noises. âSee? Totally just Jeno fucking.â
Mark doesnât look very convinced, and he rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling while he runs his hands through his hair.
âI hope this fucking poster isnât going to stop you from joining us again next Sunday,â Hyuck says as he pushes the symbol of Jenoâs sex life to the floor.
âNext Sunday?â Mark turns to look at you both.
âYeah, next Sunday,â Hyuck repeats. âYou do want to cum again, donât you?â
The church boy lets out a deep sigh, but then heâs nodding. âYeah.â
âPerfect, then itâs settled,â Hyuck grins against your shoulder.Â
Your fuck buddy is something of an enigma, and youâre never quite sure if youâve gotten him figured out. Heâd started this whole thing being reluctant to allow Mark to join, but now, it seems as if he relishes the thought of having Sunday dick appointments with his best friend.
Although, as you stare at the pretty church boy in the bed across from yours, you really canât say that you mind.Â
âïžÂ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I just love Markhyuck?
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đź preview. âIâm bad?â Hyuck gasps in shock. âSays the people fucking in an accesibility washroom?â He has a point there, and even Mark lets out a chuckle while he presses his lips firmly to your neck, his hips beginning to thrust so he can glide his cock in and out of your wet pussy.âI expect this from her, but from you, church boy?â Hyuck shakes his head while leaning back against the locked door, crossing his arms over his chest. âIâm still shocked by how sinful youâve become.â
cw/ tw. Exhibitionism, threesome, hand job, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, mention of fingering and pussy eating, praise, some degradation with affectionate use of âwhore/slutâ, the constant âsinâ mentions, slight cumplay/leaving panties on after having 2 menâs cum in you, bathroom sex, etc⊠I petnames. (hers) angel. (markâs) church boy.Â
đč rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2k I teaser wc. 270
đ staring. Haechan & Mark x afab!reader
bonus
Itâs been something like four months since you and Hyuck invited Mark into your unconventional relationship, and so much has changed since then. Having battled for a long time with perceived self-worth, it seemed that the inclusion of a friend within the relationship was all Hyuck had needed to realize his deeper feelings for you, and feel comfortable enough to share them.
Now, Hyuckâs having the best sex of his life with his two best friends in the entire world. Despite Hyuckâs growth, however, itâs clear that the person most changed by your relationship is none other than the OG church boy himself.
Hyuck had thought heâd been horny when he entered university, but it feels as if Markâs pent-up energy has made him significantly hornier.Â
Sitting in class, knowing you and Mark have a spare right now⊠well, Hyuck can only imagine what the two of you might be up to. As the lecture gets particularly boring, Hyuck pulls out his phone, opening snapchat maps to see if he can pinpoint you and his roommate.
Hyuckâs not shocked to find you were both active on snapchat ten minutes ago, in a building closeby. Heâd never been one for maps, but since you and Mark had started fucking, Hyuck had been forced to learn all feasible sexcipade locations on campus. If heâs not mistaken, you and Mark are in one of the single occupancy accessibility bathrooms on the first floor of the arts building, and the thought makes him swallow thickly.Â
With one last look at his boring teacher, Hyuck grabs his backpack and he slinks out of the lecture hall.
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summary: lee heeseung was an asshole. you had decided that. having to work with him on a group project made things a hundred times worse. but when a heart longing to experience love for the first time meets someone more than willing to give it, the line between irritation and something deeper starts to blur.
wc: 37.9k (iâm sorry)
warnings: reader is completely inexperienced, angst, miscommunication, reader falls too quickly and gets flustered very easily, kinda slow burn but not really, heeseung plays basketball but itâs barely mentioned, heeseung calls reader âprincessâ a lot, kissing, making out, features wonyoung (ive), yunjin (le sserafim), beomgyu (txt), sieun (stayc), reader cries a lot
notes: itâs here!! i'm SO sorry this took so long, i was having issues with tumblr :( this was originally only supposed to be 20k words⊠idk what happened. but itâs a rollercoaster and i love it!!! have fun reading! <3
you had heard of him before you ever saw him.
everyone knew his name- whispered in dorm hallways, watched at games, the life of the party. a reputation built on charm, late-night hookups, and the kind of confidence that made girls fall to his feet with every word he said. you never cared to pay him any mind. but today, you walked into class and found him sitting in your seat.
lee heeseung. just your luck.
you hesitated for half a second before walking up to him. he was hunched over his phone, tapping out a message, looking about as invested in being here as a teenager at their grandmaâs bingo game.
"thatâs my seat."
his eyes flicked up at you, slow and lazy, like youâd interrupted something important. he gave you a once-over- casual, unreadable- and then, just as plainly, looked back at his phone.
"doesnât have your name on it."
you exhaled sharply. of course.
"iâve been sitting here all semester."
"congrats." he didnât even look at you this time. "find another spot."
and just like that, every rumor, every complaint youâd heard about him settled into place. arrogant. entitled. exactly the kind of guy you had no patience for.
fine. whatever. you werenât about to argue with someone who clearly wasnât worth the energy. wordlessy, you drop into the seat beside him, pull out your notebook, and act like he doesnât exist.
he didnât pay you any mind after that, instead shifting so he was leaned back against the seat, his feet kicked out in front of him. you wondered what made heeseung so popular with the ladies. sure, he was attractive. that much was undeniable. sadly.
but you had barely had a ten second interaction with him, and he had already managed to piss you off.
you bit the inside of your cheek, holding back a sigh as you waited for the professor to show up. the universe had to have been out for you today. you woke up late, youâre out of your go-to breakfast bars, and youâre sitting next to lee heeseung in class. you were silently praying nothing worse could happen.
you hadnât signed up for this. you were just trying to get through this class and move on with your day. but here you were, next to the campus playboy himself, the guy who never seemed to take anything seriously, the guy who had a different girl on his arm every weekend.
you tried not to look over at him. you really did. but he practically radiated attention. his messy hair fell perfectly in place, and his broad shoulders took up way too much space for someone who was so annoying.
heeseung wasnât talking to you, but you could feel his presence next to you, and it was somehow more distracting than if he had been talking to you. the way his fingers tapped on the desk, the faint cologne smell that wafted over to you, even the way his shoes shifted against the floor- it was like he was intentionally making everything around him more noticeable.
you hated how easily he commanded the room. you hated that even now, you were aware of him more than anyone else. and of course, the universe had to pick today to make you sit right next to him. of course, it had to be this class, the one you hated the most. the one you dreaded attending every single day.
you were so deep in thought that you barely noticed when your professor- dr. kim- walked in, snapping you out of your spiral. he glanced up from his notes, then scanned the room with a smile.
âalright, everyone,â dr. kim began, âiâve got the group project assignments here. please try to work well with your partners, and don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.â
your eyes widened slightly at his words, gulping as your eyes flickered down to your notebook. group project? there had been no mention of this before. or maybe there was, and you just forgot.
âand then i woke up late! nothing is working out today!â you whisper-shout, dramatically letting your head fall into your hands as wonyoung watches you with a smile, yunjin scrolling on her phone and only halfway listening to your angry rant.
âso, howâs that class going?â wonyoung asks, her tone casual as she stirs her drink. âyou still surviving?â
you had told them how much you hated your history class, practically having a complaint about something every time you attended it.
âbarely,â you mumble, finally lifting your head from your hands. âwe got assigned group projects today.â
wonyoung puffs out a breath of air, squinting her eyes. âbrutal. whoâd you get paired with?â
you glance at her, your face blank, silently hoping she can see the despair in your eyes as you groan, throwing your head back in annoyance before mumbling, âlee heeseung.â
you hear yunjin gasp slightly, looking back to see her finally staring at you with wide eyes before slamming her phone down on the table.
âwait⊠heeseung?â she asks, a disbelieving scoff slipping past her lips. âas in the heeseung whoâs like⊠the playboy basketball player?â
you nod slowly, suddenly feeling way more nervous than youâd like to admit, âyep. that heeseung.â
wonyoung laughs softly, pushing your shoulder with her arm. âno way. the universe really hates you, doesnât it?â
you glare at her, flipping her off with an eye roll, âitâs not funny. iâm gonna slam my head into the nearest wall.â
âletâs not do that,â yunjin shakes her head, placing her chin on her palm as she tilts her head at you, âwhatâs the big deal, anyway? heâs just a player.â
you sigh, playing with the rim of your cup while shaking your head, âhe was an absolute ass this morning. it was like⊠the worst first impression of anyone iâve ever had. i actually canât deal with that for a whole project on top of the class already being a shithole.â
wonyoung leans back in her chair slightly, looking at you with an amused smile. âhe canât be that bad. maybe youâre just having a bad day and he happened to rub you the wrong way.â
you roll your eyes, but her words donât make you feel any better. âyeah, sure.â
âplus,â yunjin adds, leaning forward with a smirk, âmaybe you can have some fun. i mean, make the most of it. youâre working with lee heeseung. most girls would kill to be in your spot.â
you stare at them both, you lips parted in slight disbelief. âyeah, well they can have him.â
the two girls smile at you, clearly more entertained by your suffering and how overdramatic you were. you bring up another topic, eager to get the attention off of you and your project from hell, instead shifting the focus to yunjinâs project in music theory.
âââââ ââ ââââ
wonyoung was wrong. horribly wrong. heeseung was that bad.
you check your phone for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, the glowing screen mocking you with the time. heeseung was supposed to be here half an hour ago. thirty whole minutes.
you sigh, your fingers tightening around your phone. you had already texted him- a simple, are you still coming?- but it was staring back at you with âdeliveredâ right under it.
your fingers tap against the table impatiently as you stare down at the open laptop in front of you. the library is quieter than usual, the hum of low voices and the occasional rustle of pages filling the space. you consider packing up and leaving, your hands beginning to collect the pencils and highlighters you had set out around you.
âyouâre pretty dedicated to this, arenât you?â
you donât even need to look up to know who it is. finally.
slowly, you lift your gaze, leveling heeseung with an unimpressed stare. heâs standing there, hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie, looking completely unbothered. like he hasnât just left you waiting for half an hour.
âyouâre half an hour late,â you deadpan.
heeseung grins, like he finds your irritation amusing. âtechnicalities.â
you scoff, shaking your head. âyou said weâd meet at six.â
âyeah, and i meant it,â he says, smirking at the way you roll your eyes. âitâs just that⊠time is a social construct.â
is he fucking serious.
you gape at him, your eyebrows furrowed. âare you seriously trying to use philosophy as an excuse?â
âwould you rather me lie?â he asks, finally sitting, slinging his backpack onto the table.
âiâd prefer you actually care about this project. itâs a huge part of our grade, heeseung.â
he waves a dismissive hand, pulling his laptop out of his backpack. ârelax, princess. iâm here now, arenât i?â
you gulp at the nickname, turning your head back to your laptop to open up the assignment. âbarely,â you mumble.
heeseung chuckles, enjoying your annoyance. âfine. i had practice, it ran later than expected.â
âthatâs all you had to say,â you reply, your eyes flickering up to meet his, âand a text wouldâve been nice.â
âcanât really text when iâm on the court, princess.â he shoots back, tilting his head with a smile.
you exhale sharply, already regretting ever agreeing to meet with him. âcan we just start? weâre already behind schedule.â
luckily, he agrees, his eyes drifting to his own laptop.
you sigh, your own attention drifting back to your laptop. all you can do is hope that things begin to go smoother than this at some point. because right now, youâre considering slamming your head into your laptop or the table.
you try to focus, you really do. but itâs hard when every few minutes, heeseung is moving. drumming his fingers against the table, shifting in his seat, clicking his pen as he reads articles on his computer.
finally, you snap, your eyes looking up at him from your screen. âare you always this restless, or do you just have an allergy to being productive?â
heeseung blinks at you, lips quirking up like he finds your irritation entertaining. ânah, iâm just bored. this class is stupid.â
âwhy are you like this?â you roll your eyes, glaring at him. âeven if this class is stupid, itâs still an important project.â
âlike what?â he tilts his head, all faux innocence, completely ignoring your second statement. âcharming? fun to be around?â
you scoff. âyou were late. plus you were a dick this morning.â
heeseung chuckles, shaking his head lightly. âcâmon, princess. loosen up a bit. youâre making a big deal over nothing.â
âlook, i had a shitty day. youâre not making it any better,â you mutter, scoffing again. a voice in the back of your head wonders if youâve broken the world record for scoffing this much in five minutes.
heeseung leans forward, resting his chin on one hand. âiâm sorry. you know⊠iâm pretty good at relieving stress.â
your jaw drops. âexcuse me?â you clear your throat, trying to ignore the way his words have a blush creeping up your cheeks, instead turning your attention back to your laptop. âjust focus on your work, heeseung. we need to plan out whoâs gonna do what part.â
you donât miss how he tilts his head, a knowing smile on his lips as he clicks his tongue, nodding. âalright. just remember we have to work around my schedule.â
you let out a groan, your head rolling back as you look back towards him. âheeseung!â
he only laughs in response, shaking his head at how you get embarrassed when other students give you dirty glares.
âsorry,â you mumble softly, your eyes glaring at him. âfocus.â
an hour later, you guys had made relatively good progress. you had divided tasks, and heeseung had done his work, for the most part. he still found every opportunity to get on your nerves, but at least he did so while being productive.
you both pack up in silence, swinging your bag over your shoulder. you spare him a glance, mumbling out a small, âbye, heeseung.â
just as you step outside, you hear the unmistakable sound of sneakers scuffing against the pavement behind you, âwhere you headed?â
you turn your head slightly to see heeseung strolling up beside you, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie as he looks down at you.
âmy dorm,â you reply, shifting your bag higher on your shoulder, âitâs late.â
he nods, shrugging as he continues to walk next to you, âiâll walk you.â
you stop in your tracks, turning to face him with narrowed eyes. âwhy?â
he tilts his head, raising his eyebrows slightly. âwhy not? i have nothing else to do.â
âbecauseâŠâ you search for a logical reason, but there really seems to be none. you blurt out the only excuse that comes to mind. âitâs late.â
he furrows his brows, falling in place beside you as you begin to walk again. âitâs 7:30.â
you glance at him, shrugging. âthatâs considered late for some people.â
he smirks, tilting his head at you, an amused look on his face. âwhat if i just enjoy your company, princess?â
your face heats at the nickname, and you roll your eyes, quickening your pace. âwe barely know each other.â
âwell, iâd like to change that.â he keeps up effortlessly, long strides matching yours with ease.
you scoff, trying to ignore the affect his words have on you. âi think you like to get on my nerves, heeseung.â
he grins, nudging your shoulder lightly. âthat too.â
you sigh, glancing at him before looking straight ahead. but you donât tell him to leave. maybe a part of you deep down enjoys the company. maybe you could allow for a part of yourself to feel wanted if the campus playboy was walking you back to your dorm. and if your heart stumbles a little when he walks just close enough for your arms to brush, you choose to ignore it.Â
âââââ ââ ââââ
the door clicks shut behind you, sealing you off from the rest of the world. you let out a breath you didnât realize you were holding, pressing your back against the door as if that alone could ground you. it doesnât.
your mind is still running, replaying the moments heeseungâs arms brushed against yours, or the cocky smirks he sent your way, or the remarks he would make to get under your skin.
with a frustrated groan, you push off the door and drop your bag onto your desk chair. you smush your cheeks with your hands, sighing, as if that will stop the warmth from creeping up your cheeks again.
heeseung is nothing but trouble. you know that. everyone knows that. a playboy who knows how to charm his way into girls hearts with cocky words and athletic skills that has anyone swooning. and yet⊠your stomach twists.
you shouldnât like his attention. you shouldnât feel special. heeseung flirts with everyone. thatâs just how he was. so why was your stomach in knots? why was your mind replaying every interaction with him- no matter how insufferable he was?
you collapse onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. you donât know how to handle this. itâs not like you have experience. no boyfriend, no first kiss, hell, you havenât even held hands with a guy romantically. the concept of flirting- especially with someone like heeseung, whoâs itâs practically second nature to- is foreign to you. you donât know whether youâre looking too deeply into things, or if thereâs actually something there.
you turn onto your side, hugging your pillow. reading too many romance novels had truly skewed your perception of love. this wasnât a movie. the playboy wasnât going to fall for the girl in class. this was reality, and things didnât work like that. sadly.
youâre overthinking it. reading too deeply into his words, his touches, his actions. but why does your heart speed up at the thought of him?
you sigh, squeezing your eyes shut and hoping to turn off your overactive brain. but instead, you feel that same flutter in your chest every time you think about him.
the sound of the door opening catches your attention, glancing behind you to see yunjin entering the dorm. her presence relives you slightly, knowing youâll have a distraction from the storm of confusion in your brain right now. she sends a smile your way, kicking off her shoes and walking towards you.
"whatâs going on?" she asks, raising an eyebrow as she surveys you curled up on your bed. "you look like youâre seconds away from ripping all your hair out.â
you laugh breathlessly, flopping on your back so you can look at her without straining your neck. âiâm fine.â
you watch as she smiles slightly, shaking her head and making her way to the edge of your bed, sitting down. âdonât lie. what is it?â
you hesitate, knowing full well whatâs bothering you. but you canât exactly tell yunjin, can you? she knew you better than anyone, knew how insecure you were about having no experience. she would tell you to wake up, and not to fall for his playboy antics. so you shrug, pursing your lips before you speak. âitâs just school. stuff is piling up, and iâm behind on a few assignments. iâm just overwhelmed.â
yunjin studies your face, not saying much. you can tell she doesnât buy it, and for a second anxiety bubbles inside you at the thought that she knows, or that sheâll keep pushing. but she doesnât. instead, she nods. âi get it. schoolâs been ass lately. youâre smart, though. youâll figure it out.â
you nod, appreciating the way she doesnât pry. pushing yourself on your elbows so youâre sitting up, leaning against the headboard, you smile. âwell, weâll see if i actually make it through the semester this time.â
she giggles, gesturing for you to move over as she cuddles up beside you. âif you donât wanna talk about it, what about we watch tv? it could get your mind off of things. we could continue rewatching business proposal?â
you smile, your eyes lighting up at the mention of the show. âplease, i canât live without my daily dose of hari and taemoo.â
she laughs, turning on the tv and going to netflix. you feel a pang of guilt for lying to her, and her knowing thatâs sheâs lying. but yunjin is your closest friend, she wonât pressure you for answers, and knows when to stop digging. you shake your head slightly, pushing your anxieties to the back of your head. right now, you just need netflix and yunjinâs presence. everything else can come later.
âââââ ââ ââââ
you tap your pen against the edge of your notebook, staring at the notes that made you want to rip your hair out. why you had to sit here and listen to your professor talk about smallpox for over an hour was unbeknownst to you.
plus, you hadnât slept well last night. you and yunjin were up until 2 a.m., and when you finally decided to sleep, you couldnât. your mind kept racing, your bed felt too uncomfortable, the room felt too hot. you didnât feel like yourself.
and then he walked in. hands in his pockets, his backpack slung over one shoulder. he was late, of course he was. it should be annoying- it is annoying, heâs annoying- but for some reason,
something in your chest tightens. your fingers curl around your pen, forcing your eyes back to your notebook. this was not happening.
youâre just irritated. thatâs all. heâs been an ass, he was late yesterday, heâs late today, and he walked in like he owns the place. while youâve been sitting here for the past twenty minutes, writing down notes that are definitely going to be important for the project.
but then he slides into the seat next to you, the smell of his cologne wafting your way as he clears his throat. âwhatâd i miss?â
you turn, narrowing your eyes. âtwenty minutes of lecture.â
âno shit, sherlock.â he replies, pulling a notebook out of his bag. âmind sending me those notes later?â
you shake your head with an eye roll, turning back to the front of the classroom. âthis is why you need to show up on time.â
âcâmon, princess,â he mumbles, a hand reaching out to tug at the one of the legs of your chair, âhelp a guy out.â
you gasp at the unexpected tug, turning to glare at him. âwhat the fuck? stop that.â he only tilts his head, shrugging with that same stupid smirk.
your stomach flips again, but this time, you focus on the irritation bubbling inside you. this is exactly why you would never fall for heeseung. because heâs insufferable. heâs rude. heâs never on time. he uses flirting as an excuse to get out of everything, to get girls to bow at his feet.
he chuckles, moving his hand away. âyouâre annoyed.â
âof course i am, heeseung. leave me alone.â you mutter, scoffing as he only shakes his head playfully.
ây/n. heeseung.â dr kim. speaks, your body tensing as you turn towards the front of the classroom, meeting your professorâs expectant eyes. âis this something important you would like to share with the class? or would you like to keep bothering everyone with your banter?â
your cheeks immediately flush, your body running cold as all the heads in the classroom towards you two. youâve never wanted the floor to swallow more than you did right now. you shake your head, your voice coming out quiet. âno sir, sorry about that.â
heeseung says nothing, simply nodding his head. you were going to kill him. âalright, then. anyway, as i was sayingâŠâ dr. kim speaks, continuing on with the lesson like nothing happened as you sit there in humiliation.
âsoâŠâ he begins.
âshut up.â you mumble back, your voice quiet as your eyes stay trained on your notebook, picking up your pen to continue writing down whatever nonsense your professor spills. you were pissed off now, all thoughts of entertaining the annoying boy sat next to you gone.
you didnât know if he had realized how embarrassed you actually were, but he didnât push. you watched him shift in his seat so he was facing the front of the classroom out of your peripheral vision, also beginning to jot down notes.
the rest of class drags on unbearably slow. you try to keep your focus on the lecture, but your mind buzzes with embarrassment, replaying the way dr. kim had called you both out in front of everyone.
when class finally ends, you donât waste a second in shoving your notebook into your bag, slinging it over your shoulder, and making a beeline for the door. of course, youâre never quite quick enough.
heeseung appears next to you, falling in step beside you once again. âyouâre really gonna ignore me after that?â
you scoff, refusing to look at him as you keep your gaze trained ahead. âthatâs exactly what iâm gonna do.â
you hear him laugh, one that shows he clearly finds you entertaining. âit wasnât that bad.â
you finally glance at him, an annoyed expression on your face. âwe got called out in front of the entire class for arguing like little kids, heeseung.â
âand?â he grins, nudging your arm. âit was kinda cute. no big deal.â
you inhale sharply, turning away before he can catch the way your face heats up. âyou are insufferable. not everyone is as popular as you, alright? i donât appreciate that many eyes on me.â
he hums, tilting his head, as if heâs acknowledging your words. âwhere are you headed, anyway?â
âlunch,â you say automatically, before realizing your mistake.
a smirk creeps into his lips, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. âperfect. iâm hungry, too.â
âno.â you blurt out, your eyes snapping to his.
he feigns innocence. âno?â
âyou are not coming with me, heeseung. iâve dealt with you enough today.â you clarify, trying to make your expression as serious as you can, looking to your front again.
âwhy not?â he grins, clearly enjoying getting a rise out of you. âweâre partners, arenât we? we need to work on our⊠chemistry.â
you groan, rubbing your temples. maybe if you ignore him, heâll take the hint. he does not take the hint. he continues to walk next to you, ignoring the stares of other girls wondering why heeseung is walking around with you.
itâs been a week.
a week of trying to push away the way your heart speeds up whenever heeseung so much as looks at you. a week of acting like the casual touches and the teasing remarks donât make your stomach flip. a week of trying to convince yourself you donât like heeseung. a week of failing.
now at lunch, youâre sat with wonyoung and yunjin, the conversation flowing easily between them- an annoying professor, a party next weekend, overdue homework- but the words barely process.
your eyes are trained on heeseung across the cafeteria. the same place he always sits, with his team and friends, but now you canât stop looking. heâs leaned back in his chair, laughing at something one of his friends said. he looks beautiful. you can admire his sharp jawline, or the way his adamâs apple moves when he throws his head back, laughing at a joke. and for some stupid, down bad reason, you canât tear your eyes away.
youâre not even aware youâve been staring until yunjinâs voice snaps you out of it. âyou canât be serious.â
your head snaps towards her, blinking in confusion. âwhat happened?â
she doesnât say anything. instead she pursues her lips, tilting her chin slightly in heeseung direction with a quirk of her brow. âheeseung.â
your stomach drops, your mouth opening and closing as she waits for an answer. âitâs not like that,â you blurt, suddenly finding your untouched lunch very interesting.
yunjin doesnât buy it. she crosses her arms, watching you closely. âthen why are you staring at him like that? is this why youâve been so out of it lately?â
silence. the air feels too thick, your face burning hotter by the second. you have no good excuse. no answer to her question, because that means you would have to admit it out loud. and you werenât ready to do that. you hated how obvious you were being, how you were acting like every other girl heâs wrapped around his finger before now.
finally, wonyoung- who has been watching this exchange like itâs the most entertaining thing sheâs seen all day- chimes in, "i wouldnât blame you.â
you turn to her, your eyebrows raising. âwhat?â
she shrugs, stealing one of your fries before tossing it in her mouth. "iâm just saying, heâs hot. everyone knows that. youâve been spending a lot of time with him because of your project. i mean⊠would it be the worst thing if something happened?â
your eyes widen more- if thatâs even possible. but before you can get any words out, yunjin is speaking. she looks at her like sheâs lost her mind, shaking her head quickly. "are you insane? donât encourage this.â
"iâm just saying!" wonyoung laughs, holding her hands up in mock surrender. âyou never know.â
yunjin scoffs, rolling her eyes dramatically. âno, we do know. heeseung is heeseung. an asshole.â she turns back to you, her expression softening slightly. "you just need to be careful.â
itâs the same thing she always says. itâs everything that youâve been telling yourself. you just nod, too embarrassed that they found out to even speak.
silence lingers between the three of you. you look on the food in front of you, the other students walking by, the ground. but you can feel their eyes on you, like theyâre waiting for you to acknowledge their words- to say anything.
wonyoung breaks the silence, picking at her nails, âi mean, itâs not like you have much experience- let me rephrase- you have no experience with this stuff.â
your head snaps towards her, your jaw dropped. âwhat the fuck?â
she smiles at you, shrugging. âiâm just pointing out the factsâ y/n. you get flustered by everything. youâre gonna fall too fast, especially with someone like him. thatâs the reality for a romance virgin.â
as if this moment wasnât already embarrassing enough. your face burns, glaring at her. âa romance virgin? what the fuck does that even mean?â you go quiet, realizing you donât have a comeback to her words, because as much as you hate it, sheâs telling the truth. so you resort to sighing, grabbing a fry and plopping it in your mouth. âyou guys are so annoying.â
yunjin laughs, also stealing a fry from your plate. âweâre being realistic. and looking out for you.â
âi donât even like him,â you mumble, your mouth filled with a bite of food, wonyoung wincing at the sight. you only flip her off in response.
she laughs, raising her eyebrows, âright. thatâs why you were making heart eyes at him across the cafeteria. iâm surprised you didnât raise up and start floating towards him.â
you gape at her, scoffing as you shove her shoulder. âfuck off! i was not!â
she doesnât respond, but her and yunjin share a knowing look, smiles on their faces as they look back at you. you groan, pressing your hands against your face, âyou guys suck. why are you torturing me?â
yunjin speaks, her smile already telling you sheâs about to make things worse, âjust saying, do you really want heeseung to be your first everything?â
you reach your hand over the table to smack her arm, practically glaring daggers at her as all she does is laugh. âyunjin! shut up!â
she just shrugs, fighting back more laughs as you sulk in your chair, arms crossed against your chest. "what? iâm looking out for you. i mean, at least heâll be good, he knows what heâs doing.â
you decide to ignore her words, your cheeks burning as you look off to the side, sighing at how wonyoung laughs at her words. âi hate you,â you mumble, shaking your head. they only laugh more, wonyoung leaning over to give you a hug.
you reciprocate, begrudgingly. you just want the floor to swallow you right now.
âââââ ââ ââââ
you were late. to be fair, you werenât that worried. heeseung was never on time to your study sessions. and, if anything, you were only going to be 5 minutes late.
pushing open the door of the library, youâre greeted with the smell of books, the quiet sounds of footsteps, and fingers tapping keys quietly. time seems to slow in here, somehow. you like it. itâs so peaceful, everyone minding their own business. you stroll quietly, making your way to the study rooms on the side of the library. you had reserved one of the rooms, sending heeseung a text earlier in the day of which one to meet you at.
you walk up to the door, the frosted glass frame with a big blue â5â staring back at you, before pushing it open. youâll be able to set everything up, maybe get ahead a bit before you have to deal with him, go over things-
but heâs already there. your brain short circuits, like all the thoughts you had disappeared. sitting in one of the chairs, leaned back with one leg stretched out and the other one bent. his hair is damp, which you assume is from practice, hanging in his eyes. a white wifebeater clings to his skin, leaving little to the imagination. his shoulders, his biceps, his chest, his torso. you swear youâre going insane. your eyes flicker to the way his forearm flexes when he scrolls on his phone, your fingers tightening around the strap on your bag.
itâs only then that you realize youâve been staring. his eyes flicker up from his phone as his gaze locks on yours, the corner of his lip rising. âlike what you see?â
you swallow, shaking your head as you step further into the room, letting the door shut behind you. âiâm just surprised youâre actually here on time.â
he only nods, completely seeing through your little act. he leans back more, raising his arms above his head. he groans, and you canât tear your eyes away from the way his muscles flex, or the way his shirt lifts- just slightly, but enough for you to see a sliver of his skin, his abs highlighted by the fluorescent lights shining down on you two.
you feel insane. your body heats up, taking a deep breath as you (reluctantly) tear your eyes away from him. you busy yourself with pulling everything you need out, trying to ignore heeseungâs gaze on you. the space suddenly feels too small, and you regret reserving a room. you canât look at anyone else, canât find a distraction outside of this room. youâre stuck.
heeseung pulls out his own laptop, opening it and speaking, like itâs the most casual thing. âyou were staring.â
your breath hitches, but you play it off, glaring at him. âi told you, i was surprised you were here on time.â
his brows lift in amusement. âthatâs all?â
you nod, eyes turning back to your screen as you pull up the project. âthatâs all.â
âalright,â he hums, but the smile doesnât drop from his face. your face burns, trying to push all thoughts of how good he looked away as you try desperately to lock in, typing out anything that seems of significance.
this was going to be a long study session.
that it was. you were nearing the hour and a half mark, your brain starting to jumble all the words you read, taking in too much information at once. if you had to read one more article about the impact of diseases and medicine on our society you were sure you were going to start slamming your head against the table.
for once, heeseung wasnât being a pain. no remarks or teasing. he was silent, actually doing his work. you were grateful for the change, considering how earlier had gone. luckily the tensions had died down, and you two hadnât talked since you walked in.
then, without warning, he leans in. your body tenses, his arm reaching past you to grab a pen that had rolled over to your side. the scent of his cologne filled your nose, along with his breath lightly fanning against your cheek. you swallowed, trying to keep your eyes trained on your laptop like nothing was wrong.
but he notices. of course he does. his fingers hover over the pen, but he doesnât grab it. his gaze flickers to you, the corner of his lip lifting up. âyou good?â his voice is lower, the teasing lilt evident in his voice already.
you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat as you continue typing, trying to ignore how fast your heart is beating, âyeah, iâm fine.â
he tilts his head, just watching you. then he moves a bit closer, your breath hitching. âare you sure?â he asks again, smiling slightly.
you nod again, too scared to even look his way as you feel your cheeks burning up. âyouâre too close. thatâs all.â
he grins, unable to hide how amusing this is to him, âtoo close?â
you nod, confirming his words with a quiet, âyeah.â
he doesnât back away, instead slowly dragging the pen towards himself as he continues. âwhat, never had a guy this close before?â
you open your mouth to respond- but no words come out. itâs like you glitched, the words refusing to leave your lips as you try to come up with an excuse, an insult, anything to get the attention off of you right now. fuck.
he picks up on it immediately. his grin falters slightly, his eyes flickering over your face to gauge your reaction. âyou havenât?â
you feel stupid. your chest tightens, embarrassment flooding you. you turn your head quickly- too quickly. not realizing how close the two of you were, your nose brushes against his as you stutter out words. âthatâs not- no- i mean-â
âoh my god.â he mumbles, leaning back in his chair.
âheeseung.â you speak, your eyes pleading with him.
he blinks, the smirk gone off his face and replaced with curiosity. âyouâve never been kissed before? actually?â
âheeseung-â you mumble, no other word leaving your lips as your ears heat up, your stomach twisting as he stares at you.
his grin returns, just slightly, a small laugh leaving him as he shakes his head. âthatâs.. wow.â he doesnât sound judgmental, more so surprised, but the damage was already done.
âjust drop it,â you mutter, suddenly feeling the need to get out of the room, closing your laptop and beginning to pack up.
âthatâs interesting,â he continues, slowly shutting his laptop as he continues to watch you, âyouâre leaving?â
you nod, trying to ignore the mortification you feel as you shove things into your backpack carelessly. âitâs already been an hour and a half.â
you go to shove a pencil inside, but with how shaky your hands are, it slips through your fingers, landing on the table. âfuck,â you whisper, so quiet he almost doesnât hear. he reaches for the pen, his fingers moving faster than yours as he twirls it in between his fingers, watching you. âyou good?â
you nod, holding out your hand for the pen, refusing to meet his eyes, âiâm fine. just- can i have it?â
he hesitates, before slowly placing it in your palm. he doesnât say anything, instead simply watching as you move your hand quickly, shoving the pen into your backpack, before quickly zipping it up and slinging it over your shoulder. you can feel his gaze on you, turning on your heel and making a beeline for the door.
âiâll see you in class,â you mutter, the door shutting behind you as you walk out as quickly as your legs will take you, trying to hold back the flood of emotions and embarrassment swirling inside you.
âââââ ââ ââââ
it felt like everything hit you the second you stepped through the door. the silence only heightened the sound of your pounding heartbeat in your ears. you kick off your shoes, your hands shaky as you let your backpack fall to the floor. your mind canât stop replaying every interaction with heeseung earlier that day.
but it felt like so much more than that. it was about the way you slipped up, your own body betraying you and the truth slipping out. it wasnât like being inexperienced was a bad thing- you knew that. but you hated how everyone around you was able to talk about it so casually. while you fell behind and lived vicariously through romance novels and cheesy romcoms.
for once, you wanted to know what it was like. and for all people that couldâve found out- heeseung had to know. the boy who had a new girl on his arm every week, who was no stranger to romance. it felt mocking. embarrassing. like the universe was making a joke of you, pointing at you and laughing.
your breath catches in your throat, tears spilling down your cheeks before you can process it. you donât stop them, you donât react. you simply stand there, small sobs leaving you as the defeated feeling takes over. youâd tried to hard to not let this take over. to be okay with the fact that you hadnât experienced love yet, it was no big deal. but it somehow hurt more knowing the one you liked was probably the most unattainable person on campus.
you shuffle towards your bed, your feet barely leaving the ground until you reach the foot of your bed, letting yourself fall forward, straight into a pillow. your tears soak the fabric, your mind swirling with insecurities and thoughts of yearning. to know. to feel. to be loved.
it feels so impossible at this point. like love- true love- will never find you. it felt like everything was boiling over, your body curling up as your tears grow more intense, louder sobs slipping from your lips as your hands grip the pillow.
you didnât even know how long you had been crying for. you cried until no more tears came out, the sobs transforming into quiet sniffles and labored breaths, until exhaustion took over your body and lulled your body into a peaceful sleep, safe from all the worries of the outside world.
but the peace didnât last. the sound of the door opening stirs you awake, yunjinâs voice filling the apartment. your body feels too heavy, a dull pounding in your head and a lump in your throat still remain as you turn over slowly. you rub your eyes, trying your best to remove the evidence of your breakdown through your sleepy confusion.
â-and he was so fucking hot, y/n. ugh, i wish i wouldâve gone over to his place. and he told me he had a good time, and he wants to see me again!â she spills, kicking off her shoes and throwing her purse somewhere near the door, flailing her hands as she recounts all the details.
she pauses as she turns to you, finally taking in the state youâre in. âwere you asleep? sorry. i didnât mean to wake you up,â she laughs quietly, lowering her voice.
you simply shake your head, still coming back to reality as you push yourself up. you speak, your voice scratchy and slurred from lingering exhaustion, âitâs fine. i shouldnât have fallen asleep that early, anyway.â
she walks over, sitting at the edge of your bed and looking at you, a smile on her lips before she takes in your puffy eyes. âyou doing alright?â
you swallow, pushing down the emotions that threaten to resurface. you nod, forcing a smile. âiâm good. just tired⊠iâve had a lot of work lately.â
she watches you, her head tilting like she doesnât believe you. finally, a smile breaks out on her face as she lets herself fall back against your bed, turning her head to face you. âhe was so perfect. like, usually i donât like pisces men, but beomgyu? he was just.. fuck, y/n, iâm losing my mind.â
you smile slightly at her lovesick rant, her words filled with a giddy happiness that only love can bring to you. you nod along to her words, her eyes lighting up when she recounts the best details.
âare you going out again?â you ask quietly, playing with the hem of your blanket when she stops talking, simply staring at your ceiling with a lovesick smile.
that question breaks her out of the trance, turning to you with a grin. âfuck yeah! he asked me to go to his place next? you know what that means,â she trails off, wriggling her eyebrows before kicking her feet, covering her face with her hands as she squeals.
you laugh, although deep down, you wish you could know what it feels like. the feeling of being desired, of being wanted. and as yunjin continues to ramble, expressive hands and wide eyes, you canât push down the feeling that creeps up and surrounds you, making you feel like youâre locked inside a dark room that has no key, no door. like youâre falling behind while everyone races ahead.
âââââ ââ ââââ
âno.â
the word leaves your lips before yunjin can finish her sentence, already knowing where it was going when she started with, âso, i was thinkingâŠâ you donât look up from your laptop, hoping that if you donât acknowledge them, theyâll drop it. they never do.
wonyoung groans, flopping backwards onto your bed before she rolls over on her stomach, resting her chin on her hands as she stares at you. ây/n, please. you literally never go out.â
you finally spare her a glance, before looking back at your computer. âiâm busy.â
yunjin crosses her arms, a huff of air leaving her. âyou fucking liar. all you do is rot in bed. then you wonder why you get no action.â
you glare at her, choosing to ignore her jab at your love- or lack thereof- life. âi enjoy the tranquility.â
âgod, youâre hopeless.â she sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed beside wonyoungâs sprawled out figure. âyou need to have some fun for once.â
âi do have fun,â you reply, finally shutting your laptop, âa party is not my idea of fun. itâs sweaty bodies, and drunk people, and people making out against walls.â
âyouâre so dramatic,â wonyoung laughs, her hands tugging lightly at your calves. âitâs one night. maybe something will happen.â
you shake your head, ignoring the puppy dog eyes she sends you. âno, nothing will. iâll go and hate it, want to kill myself, and wish i could be back in bed watching reruns of gossip girl.â
yunjin groans, tossing her head back at your resilience. âiâm gonna kill you. youâre coming to this party. you need some action. thatâs probably why youâve been so⊠whatever youâve been, lately.â
you freeze, shaking your head lightly. âi donât need action.â
wonyoung giggles, turning her head to smile at yunjin. âyou know, y/n, she has a point. donât you think itâs time to put yourself out there?â
you roll your eyes, biting the inside of your cheek. âshut up.â
but your stomach twists uncomfortably. they donât mean it in a harmful way- to them itâs just teasing. they donât know how much you hate having nothing, the fear of putting yourself out there. and after your breakdown a few nights ago, the topic felt heavier.
more anxiety fills you as another thought creeps in. impossible to shake, growing larger the more you try to ignore it. if itâs a party, heeseung will be there. he always is. the thought of running into him after your last interaction makes your chest feel tight, your eyes flickering around the room.
âi just donât wanna go,â you mumble, trying your luck again. of course, they donât listen.
yunjin sends you a look, standing up and grabbing your arms, tugging you forward. you gasp, catching your balance before you tumble off your bed. âdidnât i already tell you youâre coming to this party? get up, loser.â
you huff, reluctantly listening to her just this once. you toss your feet over the side of the bed, letting yunjin pull you to your feet. âyouâre so lucky i love you guys,â you mutter, glaring at both of them.
wonyoung squeals, practically flying off of your bed as she wraps you in a hug, jumping up and down. âfinally! iâve been waiting for this day forever!â
you only shake your head, trying to bite back a smile at her excitement. yunjin, on the other hand, has already made her way to your dresser, pulling random clothes out and tossing them over her shoulder.
âokay,â she speaks, tossing a pair of shorts that are too short beside her, âwe wanna make you look hot. but also not like youâre trying too hard, a good balance. heeseungâs gonna be there, right?â
wonyoung laughs, making her way over to yunjin to look at the clothes sheâs already picked out, holding them up to your body before nodding or shaking her head. your stomach, however, twists at the mention of his name.
âiâm not trying to impress anyone,â you blurt, shaking your head as yunjin pulls out a tiny red dress, âiâm only going because you guys are forcing me.â
she gives you a look, raising her eyebrows. âyou realize we can see right through you, right? you act like weâre not your best friends. you want the guy, admit it.â
you go silent, opting to roll your eyes at her words instead. she only laughs, tossing the red dress at you. âtry that on.â
âiâm not wearing this,â you mutter, holding it out in front of you.wonyoung whines, shaking your shoulders. âitâs a house party, girl. other people are going to be wearing so much worse. just try it.â
you groan, reluctantly trying the dress on. itâs too tight, too short, showing off your body in ways youâre not used to. you look up, gauging the two girlsâ reactions. yunjin tilts her head, analyzing you, before finally shaking her head.
âno, i donât think thatâs very you,â she says, turning back to your closet. âyou wanna look slutty, but like, fashion.â
you furrow your eyebrows, almost wanting to laugh at how seriously they were taking this. âgreat explanation.â
wonyoung gasps, stopping both of you in your tracks. âyunjin, give me that shirt,â she exclaims, pointing to a black lace tube top yunjin is holding up. the lace wraps around itself, one edge falling to create an asymmetrical look. once yunjin hands it over, she grabs a black denim skirt off the floor, holding the items to your body as best she can.
âyes. this is it,â she smiles, yunjin nodding beside her. âput this on. youâre gonna look so hot.â
you canât deny wonyoungâs words once you have the outfit on. it looks good, the pieces accentuating your body while not showing off too much. yunjinâs jaw drops slightly, nodding as you spin slowly. âiâm so in love with you.â
you smile, shaking your head at her. wonyoung grabs a pair of black heeled-boots, the leather tight around your calves, with a platform that makes you at least 5 inches taller.
yunjin nods, looking at wonyoung, âadd a leather jacket.â
once the whole outfit is assembled, you canât deny it. you feel hot. you look hot. âyou look amazing, y/n. heeseungâs one lucky guy.â wonyoung smiles, stepping up to you to adjust the top.
you glare at her, an exasperated breath leaving you. âstop bringing him up. nothing has happened between us.â
âyet,â yunjin says, a teasing smile on her lips.
âoh, fuck off,â you laugh, flipping her off. you couldnât help the feeling that settled in your stomach. was it anxiety? excitement? you couldnât tell, but you knew this was going to be a long night. and maybe, deep down, a part of you wanted heeseung to see you in this outfit.
âââââ ââ ââââ
you regretted coming the second you stepped through the door.
music was blasting through the speakers, the volume combined with all the conversations happening almost unbearable. the smell of weed and alcohol invaded your senses almost immediately. people were everywhere you looked, crowded together. drinking, smoking, dancing, talking, making out.
your feet slowed down, suddenly wanting to turn around and go back home. yunjin tugged your arm, forcing your feet to move again as she dragged you along, weaving through the mass of bodies, trying to avoid bumping into anyone.
wonyoung was right. people were wearing much worse. you still felt out of place though. like people knew you didnât normally dress like this. like people knew you were trying to look good just for this party.
once the three of you stopped moving, wonyoung looked at you, immediately sensing your discomfort. âyouâre fine. no oneâs judging you, okay? everyoneâs too caught up in their own thing here.â
you only nodded in response, glancing around at everyone. âthereâs⊠a lot of people here.â
wonyoung laughs, finding your reactions cute. âyeah, thatâs usually what itâs like at house parties.â
the idea of willingly putting yourself in this environment weekly sent a chill down your spine. things like this werenât your speed. though, sometimes, you wonder what it would be like to be an extrovert, to enjoy talking to others, spending your days socializing. wonyoung explains something to you, but youâre only halfway listening. your eyes are drifting around the party.
looking for something, or someone. hoping to see his black hair in the crowd of people. a bit hard, when half the people here had black hair.
âoh- there he is!â yunjin gasps, her words pulling you out of your trance as you look at her, raising your eyebrows. you follow her line of vision, nerves bubbling in you at the thought of actually seeing him-
âbeomgyu!â she smiles, turning to you and wonyoung with a cheesy grin. âiâm gonna go say hi. iâll catch you guys in a bit?â
âgo get your man,â you smile, watching as she heads off, a pep in her step as gets closer to him. you turn back to wonyoung, unsure of what to do now that you were here.
âso, like, what do we do?â you ask, once again glancing around at the people around you.
âtalk to people. get a drink. find someone hot.â she nudges you at the last option, sending a teasing smile your way.
âno.â your reply is immediate, shaking your head. âiâm not having any of my firsts at a random house party.â
she sighs, throwing her head back before looking back at you. âyou read too many romance novels.â
you gape at her, your lips forming into a pout. âa girl can dream. let me wait for the one.â
âwell, looking like you do tonight,â she pauses, her eyes flickering up and down your figure, âiâm gonna be surprised if no one hits on you.â
her sentence sends a hint of excitement through you, but you quickly shake your head, dismissing the feeling. âiâd rather someone not. that would just be awkward. i canât talk to people.â
she laughs, but sheâs shaking her head. âthis is exactly why you need to go out more. put yourself out there.â
you donât respond, your eyes flickering around the crowd of people once again, watching people's body language, and how they interact with one another. everyone looks so relaxed, simply enjoying the environment.
âanyway,â wonyoung speaks, breaking the silence that settled between you two, âiâm gonna go get a drink. do you wanna come?â
you shake your head, not feeling like navigating through the crowd of people once again, choosing to wait for wonyoung to get back. âno. itâs fine. iâll wait.â
âalright, do you want anything?â she continues, watching as you shake your head again, denying her offer. âiâll be right back, then.â
you watch as she walks off, weaving through the crowd and heading towards the kitchen. you lean back against the wall, fidgeting with your fingers as you wait calmly for wonyoung to return.
she doesnât. two minutes turn to five, which turns to ten, which turns to fifteen. people were starting to send you looks, wondering why you were standing around alone, with no drink.
you felt out of place. no, you were out of place. you glance around, the nerves of everything becoming too overstimulating. you needed to get away from the crowds.
slowly, you push through the crowd, making your way to the hallway. you slip past the people having conversations, and the couple making out against the wall. one door is cracked open, which you can only assume means itâs safe to enter.
you wait outside for a bit, listening for if thereâs any noises. itâs silent. you hesitate for a second, before finally pushing the door open. the room was empty, the quiet away from the loud voices instantly calming your nerves. you shut the door behind you, the noise of the party becoming even more muffled, feeling like a breath of fresh air.
you glanced around the room, your heart nearly stopping. heeseung was leaned against the wall, scrolling on his phone. could this night get any worse?
he hadnât noticed you yet, too busy scrolling on his phone. you gulped, feeling your face flush. you could turn around, you could leave the room. you should do that. but for some reason, your feet wouldnât move. it was like they were planted into the ground.
he lifted his gaze from his phone, locking eyes with you. you felt like a deer caught in headlights. his expression was unreadable, but he tilted his head slightly.
a brief moment of silence passed between the two of you, your heart thudding loudly in your chest as he watched you.
ây/n?â he asked, his voice sounding a bit surprised.
âsorry,â you finally forced out, fidgeting with your fingers as your gaze drifts away from his, focusing on the wall instead. âi thought this room was empty.â
he simply shrugged, a small smile on his lips. âtoo loud out there?â
you nod, awkwardly shifting your weight from one foot to the other. this somehow felt more suffocating than the party did. âi didnât mean to⊠bother you.â you mumble, turning around to head for the door.
âyou donât have to leave,â he said, his voice quiet, your stomach fluttering at the sound, âiâm not doing anything. stay if you need a break. if you want.â
you stand still, both choices seeming wrong. staying in the room with him felt like a mistake, but walking back out to the chaos of the party felt slightly worse.
slowly, you nodded, turning around and stepping further into the room. âokay. uh, thanks.â
you both stood there, not saying anything for a moment. you shifted your gaze around the room, your nerves palpable. and heeseung, of course, picked up on it.
âthis isnât exactly your scene, is it, princess?â he asked, voice filled with that familiar teasing tone. you tried to ignore how the nickname had your heart doing somersaults, or how your face heated up. everything felt so much more elevated in the room.
you swallowed, trying to push your nerves aside as you looked back at him. âuh, no, itâs not,â you mumble, almost wanting to laugh at how awkward you sounded.
he hums, pushing himself off the wall and walking towards the bed, sitting on the edge. he looks at you expectantly, only laughing slightly when you raise your brows in response. âare you just gonna stand there the whole time?â
your face flushes, suddenly feeling too embarrassed. your body moves before you realize it, getting closer to him. you can feel your heartbeat speeding up, his eyes watching you as you sit down next to him. youâre not an awkward distance away, but you made sure to put some space between the two of you. the room was quiet, except for the noise of your nervous breaths, your fingers fidgeting with each other.
âso,â he began, breaking the silence, âwhatâre you doing here, anyway?â
you look at him, shrugging. âmy friends dragged me along.â
he hummed, tilting his head, âso then why are you in here?â
this was humiliating. âone is talking to her date and another went to get drinks and didnât come back,â you mumbled, trying to ignore the smile that crept up on his face.
âdamn, princess,â he huffed out a laugh, shaking his head lightly, âthey ditched you?â
âi mean, theyâre more used to this environment. i wouldnât wanna, like, hold them back from having fun,â you shrug, glancing down at your hands.
âif you say so,â he responds, going quiet for a few seconds before speaking again. âi just still donât see why you would even come, considering, yâknow..â
your stomach drops. your eyes flicker up to his, raising your eyebrows slightly. âconsidering⊠what?â
he tilts his head, a slight smirk playing on his lips. âyouâve never kissed anyone. you werenât lying about that, right?â
heat rises on your cheeks, the embarrassment that hits you suddenly making you feel sick, once again stuck in a room with heeseung and talking about this. âheeseung. i donât wanna talk about that.â
âwhy? itâs nothing to be ashamed about,â he replies with a shrug, leaning back against the pillows and playing with the hem of his shirt. âyou ever had a boyfriend?â
âheeseung.â you say, but his expression tells you heâs not letting this go anytime soon. you sigh, your voice quiet, the word coming out as a hushed whisper, âno.â
he was quiet, and the more the silence dragged on, the more you felt like you wanted the floor to swallow you. the same humiliating feeling from before was slowly making its way back, the room feeling like it was closing in on you. and then, heeseung spoke.
âyou ever wonder what itâs like? to kiss someone?â he asks, and you almost want to laugh.
âthatâs a stupid question,â you blurt before you can stop it, listening to the way he laughs quietly.
âsorry. had to make sure,â he replies, and this, for some reason, doesnât feel as bad as last time did. it doesnât feel like heâs judging you. more so, just asking questions.
âof course i do. itâs kinda hard not to when all everyone talks about is their love lives,â you reply, finally opening up a bit. you donât know why youâre telling him this much. you couldâve diverted the conversation, made him talk about something else, but you were opening up.
you were trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling in your chest. from being in a room alone with heeseung, to discussing your desolate love life with him. it felt unnatural- it was unnatural. you were never one to open up to people easily, but it felt like he did it without trying (well, besides when he wouldnât like a topic go).
âi could teach you,â he speaks, and your head snaps up to his so fast youâre surprised your neck didnât break in the process. it felt like time stopped. you couldnât hear the music outside, or the muffled voices. all you could hear was your heartbeat in your ears and the way your breathing picked up. heeseung continued to stare at you, his eyebrows raised slightly as he waited for an answer.
âw-what?â you stutter out, trying to convince yourself you heard his words wrong, that you made it up, some kind of excuse.
âi said i could teach you. you heard me,â he repeats his words, the corner of his lip lifting up again.
your breath hitched. the silence was too loud, the two of you just staring at each other as you tried your hardest to process his words. âyouâre joking, right?â you finally ask, your voice quiet, unsure.
but he didnât laugh. he only watched you, his voice dropping just a bit lower. âitâs not hard. if you want, i could teach you.â
you sat, frozen. blinking out of whatever daze you were in since he spoke, your eyes flickering the the ground. heeseung- the playboy heeseung, the heeseung you liked- offering to be your first kiss. it didnât feel right. it felt like the universe was trying to play a sick joke on you. like this would turn out to be too good to be true.
you heard him laugh softly, and your eyes drifted back up to him. he seemed to be enjoying how flustered you were, how your brain was quite literally short circuiting. âwe donât have to if you donât want to. itâs just an offer. but, if you want to, iâm right here.â
you felt your heart speed up more at his words. your mind felt like it couldnât process what was going on. what was the right choice here? one side of you felt like you should laugh it off, change the subject and act like the conversation never happened. continue to save your first kiss for something special. but on the other hand, this did feel special. you were curious. hell, youâve been curious for the last 22 years. you were caught between forcing down your desires and enlightening them, finally understanding what youâve been wondering about your whole life. finally being able to understand the conversations, the movie scenes, the books.
your mouth opened, a protest about to leave your lips, but no words came out. your words got stuck, your true feelings not letting them leave. heeseung noticed your hesitation, pushing himself to sit up.
he watched you, his voice getting softer, quieter. âcome here,â he mumbled, his words making your stomach do flips. god, you wanted to slam your head against the wall.
your heartbeat sped up, but you moved closer to him anyway, sitting so close your knees were pressed together. you didnât know what you were doing, but you knew you didnât wanna turn around and leave. not at this point.
heeseung watched you, not reaching out until you had stopped moving. his hand reached up slowly, cautiously, gently cupping your jaw. his thumb brushed over your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. his gaze flickered between your eyes and lips, the reality of what was happening sinking it. âyouâre nervous,â he whispered, the words spoken like they were a secret just between the two of you. his breath fans across your face, further solidifying the reality of the distance between you two.
you nodded, your breath shallow, unsure. you let your own eyes flicker to his lips before moving back to his eyes. you whispered, your voice shaky, âwhat if iâm bad?â
he smiled, his thumb tracing your jaw as he shook his head. âdonât worry about that. just follow my lead.â
you nod, everything feeling like a haze. he leans in slowly, and before you can think too much about it, his lips are on yours. it felt like everything around you stopped. your eyes fluttered shut, your breath stuttering.
his lips are soft, and you try to follow his movements as best you can. his touch is gentle, guiding you, taking a first experience from you. the outside world seems quiet, likes itâs just you and heeseung in this moment. he presses his lips a bit harder against yours, tilting your head just slightly. the feeling is all-consuming. overwhelming. you want more and want to get away all at the same time. but it feels nice. it feels like everything youâve dreamed of. what the lead in a romance movie feels, what the books describe, how your friendâs eyes light up when they tell you about their first kiss with a new guy.
he pulls away slowly, his hand still remaining on your jaw. your eyes flutter open, blinking a little, like youâre trying to ground yourself. his face was still so close to yours, your breaths mixing together. his expression was unreadable, and your heart sped up at the reality.
âwas that okay?â you ask, your voice quiet, barely above a whisper.
heeseung stared at you for a moment, not saying anything. his eyes searched yours, his breath soft against your skin, his touch still so light. âyeah,â he mumbled, his eyes still flickering around your face, his thumb tracing your jaw again. ânot bad, princess.â
you nod, your mind in too much of a haze to mumble out exact words. you eyes flickered to his lips again, fighting the urge to lean in again, to feel the warmth of his lips against yours. but before you could think about it too much, your phone buzzed loudly against your lap, the ringing snapping you back to reality.
you blink, still dazed, as you look down on at your phone, shaky hands turning it over, the name staring back at you.
wonyoung.
shit. you hesitated for a second, before answering the call, pressing the phone to your ear. âhello?â
âwhere are you?â wonyoungâs voice came through, a bit hard to hear over the pounding music. âi came back to the spot you were at. i got caught up with some friends, iâm sorry.â
you swallowed, your mind still in a haze. your gaze flickered to heeseung. he was already watching you, having had leaned back against the headboard.
âitâs fine,â you mumble, words trailing off. your heartbeat still felt too loud, and your thoughts were jumbled and all over the place. âitâs- iâm just..â
heeseung raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. he tilted his head, clearly amused by your inability to form a sentence right now.
âhello?â wonyoungâs voice spoke again, pulling your attention back to her. âare you there?â
âyeah! yeah, sorry,â you mumble, pursing your lips. âiâll be right there.â
âokay. iâll see you soon.â she replied, the line going dead.
the room went silent, filled with nothing but the awkwardness swirling around the two of you. you were too afraid to meet his gaze, so you stare at your hands, before standing up slowly, placing your phone in your pocket. âum⊠i should go. iâll see you around?â
heeseung didnât say anything, and you took that as your cue to just leave. you walked towards the door, trying to form a coherent thought as you reached for the doorknob. his voice finally cut through the quiet, making you stop in your tracks.
âyou know,â he began, his voice teasing, with a hint of something else you couldnât quite pinpoint, âyou look nice tonight.â
the words sent butterflies swirling in your stomach, closing your eyes as you tried to ground yourself. what was wrong with you? you didnât turn around, too scared to meet his eyes. you couldnât. so you only nodded, your voice shaky, âthank you.â
you opened the door, stepping out and back into the party. it felt like you were snapped back to reality the second the loud music hit your ears, met with the sight of a swarm of people again as you pushed through the crowd. you tried to ignore the way your lips still tingled, or the way your cheeks heated up when you thought about his hand on your face, his breath so close to you, his lips against yours.
you almost bumped into someone, muttering out a pathetic âsorryâ as you corrected your path, finally catching a glimpse of yunjin and wonyoung standing together, talking about some random topic. wonyoung noticed you first, smiling and waving as she noticed you walking over.
you wave back, forcing a smile as you join up with them. all you know is that youâre going crazy. you kissed heeseung. your first kiss. was it a mistake? did you make too irrational of a decision while being caught in the moment?
your thoughts are interrupted by yunjinâs loud voice, pulling you back to the current moment, âyou missed everything, y/n. i had so much to talk about. where were you, anyway?â
you open your mouth, your eyes flickering between the two girls watching you with expectant stares. you should lie, make some kind of excuse to avert the attention from you, ask what yunjin had to talk about. but the thought of hiding your feelings from them more than you already are makes a sick feeling appear in your stomach.
âi kissed heeseung.â the words are out before you even realize you said that.
they stand there, unmoving before yunjin speaks, âyou what?â
wonyoung only covers her mouth with her hand, a loud gasp leaving her lips as she looks between you and yunjin. you stare sheepishly at the two, no more words leaving your lips as you open and close your mouth, wonyoung finally forcing some words out. âbitch, are you serious?â
the reality of everything feels like itâs hitting you all over again, a shaky breath leaving your lips as you look up, trying to form a sentence in your mind before you speak out loud. âi kissed heeseung. or, he kissed me. we kissed each other? i donât knowâŠâ you cover your eyes with one of your hands, clenching your eyes shut. everything feels too surreal right now.
yunjin blinks, shaking her head as she tries to make sense of the situation. âhold on, start from the beginning, please. what the fuck happened?â
you laugh shakily, shrugging as words come spilling out, âi just- i needed a break from the party, so i went into what i thought was an empty room, but he was in there. he told me i could stay, and we started talking, and he brought up the fact that iâd never kissed anyone-â
wonyoung cuts you off, raising an eyebrow. âhow did he know that?â
you gulp, averting your eyes. âthatâs a story for another time.â the two share a look, but donât interrupt you again, letting you continue. âanyway, he said he could teach me⊠and, yeah,â you mumble, words getting quieter as you finish the story, finally looking back at the two.
yunjinâs jaw is dropped, and she turns to wonyoung with a glare. âyou left her alone for ten minutes and she kissed heeseung?â
âi wanted a drink!â wonyoung defends herself, pointing at you, âi didnât know she was gonna sneak off and make out with someone while i was gone.â
your cheeks heat up, shaking your head quickly. âit wasnât like that. it was just one kiss.â
yunjin only laughs, giving you a hug. âwell, congratulations. my baby is all grown up.â
âoh, fuck off,â you mutter, but your arms wrap around her, fighting back a smile.
âwas it good?â wonyoung asks, your eyes widening. âlike⊠is he really that good of a kisser like everyone says?â
your breath hitches at the question. your mind flickers back to how his lips felt on yours, how softly he held you, his breath soft against your lips, how his voice dropped, quiet and gentle. the way everything made you felt. your heart speeds up again at the thought, and you swallow, hesitating slightly before answering, trying to disguise the true thoughts you have.
âi donât know, wonyoung. it was my first kiss. how am i supposed to know what good means?â you reply, huffing out a laugh.
she groans, unsatisfied with your answer, but she doesnât push further. yunjin pulls back from the hug, but her hands remain on your shoulders. âyou kissed lee heeseung. the lee heeseung. and he offered to teach you. girl, youâre in so deep.â
you shake your head, feeling your cheeks heat up even more, if thatâs possible. wonyoung chimes in, tugging your arm. âokay. back to your dorm, right now. tell us everything. leave absolutely nothing out.â
you only laugh, but let wonyoung drag you along, yunjin following closely behind. the comfort the two provide for you makes things feel not as stressful, trying your best to push the anxieties and self-doubt about the turn the night took away.
âââââ ââ ââââ
your stomach was a mess of nerves as you stepped through the classroom door. it wasnât that you didnât expect to see heeseung- you knew he was going to be here. but you didnât know if you were ready. you had spent the past two days replaying every moment, every detail of that night, too caught up in your own thoughts. you tried to convince yourself it wasnât a big deal, that it was just a kiss, but your true feelings betrayed you.
you spotted him in what had become his usual seat- which was previously yours- scrolling on his phone, leaned back in the chair. you swallowed, getting closer to the seat as you put on a front, acting as nonchalant and unaffected as you could.Â
you slid into the chair next to him, pulling out your notebook and letting your bag hit the floor with a soft thud. you busied yourself with opening to an empty page, dragging your pencil along the page to make random, pointless drawings. anything to try and ease your nerves at the moment.
âhey, princess,â heeseung spoke, his voice carrying that signature teasing lilt. his tone was so casual, like nothing had happened. you tried to ignore the way your heartbeat sped up at the sounds of his voice, or the nickname that used to make you grind your teeth. âi didnât see you after you left the room. i thought you disappeared.â
you finally glanced at him, your eyes meeting his. âiâm still here. sadly.â
his lip twitched, that signature smirk forming on his lips. âgood to know.â
his tone was so casual, so normal. but yet, things felt different. maybe it was the way he was watching you- his gaze lingering for just a second too long before looking away. or how he wasnât teasing you as much, you two having a normal conversation for once.
you were reading too much into it. this was the last thing you wanted to do. you kissed him because he offered to teach you. there was no meaning, no feelings behind it- on his end. you cleared your throat, turning back to your notebook. âdid you look over the project? i added some notes to the shared document. thereâs an article that seems like it could be helpful.â
he shook his head, leaning forward so his elbows were on the desk. ânah. iâve been busy with practice.â
you roll your eyes, but the usual irritation didnât come. you continued to doodle on your notebook, trying to focus on the small flower you were creating. but you couldnât ignore the way you could feel his gaze on you, making heat rise to your cheeks.
âyouâre staring,â you mumble, eyes still trained on the flower, adding small blades of grass at the bottom, adding another small flower next to it.
âam i?â he asked, and you could see the way he tilted his head in your peripheral vision. âi didnât notice.â
you huffed out a breath, forcing yourself not to react. if you gave him an inch, heâd take a mile, pointing out every little flustered reaction you have. it was the last thing you needed.
dr. kim entered the room, greeting the class, indirectly saving you from having to reply. you tried to focus, jotting down whatever he mentioned, but your focus was somewhere else entirely.
every time heeseung moved, shifting in his seat, tapping his pen against your notebook, your attention would be drawn to him. you couldnât stop it. as much as you tried to focus, trying to ignore him, your mind wouldnât let you. you felt like a middle schooler with a pathetic crush all over again.
it was stupid. he was acting normal. you were (trying to) act normal. so why did nothing feel normal? slowly, your head turned just slightly, looking towards him. but he was already looking at you. he didnât look away, your eyes meeting for a fleeting second. your breath caught in your throat, and you turned back to your notebook quickly, shifting in your seat.
you were screwed. your heart lurched, your pulse quickening. a small part of your mind tells you that youâre not imagining things- that something has shifted. something is different. but you canât place your finger on it. you feel like youâre making yourself go crazy, overanalyzing every little detail. every little glance, every sentence, hell, you payed attention to the tone of his voice.
all you know is that youâre fucked. youâre officially down bad for lee heeseung.
it went to voicemail, yunjinâs happy voice breaking the sad silence. you tried again. still no answer. more tears fell, moving onto wonyoung next. it repeated the same process, ringing. and ringing. and ringing. and then- voicemail. you tried once again to be sure, clinging onto any ounce of hope. same result.
you could feel your heart shattering more and more. you felt alone. your sniffles turned into quiet sobs, clutching your phone as you tried to catch your breath. everything felt too overwhelming, too out of your control, too messed up.
you were stuck here. you couldnât walk home, the rain was too strong. you couldnât go back inside, not looking like this. everything was slowly unraveling. your closest friends werenât even picking up, and you couldnât get mad at them for it. they had lives too, not always able to drop everything for you. but the betrayal still stung, everything feeling like a personal attack at this point.
you forced yourself to breathe, slowly unlocking your phone once again. you scrolled through your contacts, blurry, tear-filled vision making it harder. you just needed someone, anyone who you could call. anyone who could come get you. your eyes stopped on one person, your heart beating faster at the thought. you clicked on his contact, you finger hovering over the call button, before finally, you pressed it.
it rang once. twice. three times. you were losing hope, more tears spilling down your cheeks as the reality of your situation set in. and then-
âhello?â
your breath catches. you hadnât expected someone to actually pick up. everything felt so hopeless, the sound of someoneâs voice sending a shock through you. you sniffle quietly, trying to get a word out, but itâs like theyâre all caught in your throat.
âhello?â heeseung repeats again, his voice more clear this time. âare you there?â
you take a deep breath, forcing your tears and shaky breaths to calm down. you feel like if you speak a new wave of tears will just spill down your cheeks. âi-â you start, before your voice breaks. you swallow, trying again. âi need a ride⊠itâs raining. no one else was picking up.â
thereâs a long pause, silence stretching between the two of you. you begin to feel stupid for calling, for being such an inconvenience to another person, more than youâve already been today. you hear a small laugh on the other end, your eyebrows furrowing slightly at the sound. âcanât handle a little rain, princess?â
your breath stutters, heat climbing up your neck. âat the party,â you begin, your voice quiet, barely above a whisper. âwhen we-â you stop, shutting your eyes for a second. itâs too late to back out now, youâre already speaking. âwhen we kissed.â
he doesnât move, doesnât say anything, simply waiting for you to continue. your breath is shaky, your next words unsure. âdid that mean anything to you?â
you regret the words the moment they leave your lips. you sound desperate. pathetic. needy. you shake your head quickly, shutting your eyes. âforget it,â you mumble, as if you can take back the words you just said. âiâm a mess right-â
âi wouldnât have done it if it didnât,â heeseung speaks, cutting you off. his voice is quieter than usual. softer, but still firm. âthat was your first kiss.â
your pulse stutters, a breath catching in your throat. you finally turn to look at him, your stomach twisting at the intensity of his gaze.
you should stop talking. end this before you do something youâll regret. but you keep talking, your voice so quiet, youâre unsure if he hears it over the sound of the radio. âcan you⊠can you do it again?â
his eyes widen a bit, but the moment is brief. a flicker. and then that unreadable look is back. you want to take your words back immediately, erase this moment from existence entirely. âyou donât have to,â you add, words tumbling out before you can stop them. âitâs just- fuck. today has been horrible, and i canât stop thinking about that kiss, and i thought that maybe-â
âare you sure?â heeseung asks, cutting your rambling off again. his voice is softer now, almost as quiet as yours. like these words are only meant to heard by the two of you, hidden from the rest of the world.
you swallow, setting your cup in his cup holder. you donât trust your voice right now- can't trust it- so you nod instead.
for a second, he only watches you, his expression unreadable. it sends a chill through you, anxiety seeping in. then he slowly reaches up, tucking a strand of damp hair behind your ear. his touch is soft, barely there, but itâs everything you need right now. his gaze flickers over yours- searching for any signs of hesitation. like heâs waiting for you to pull away. but you donât. you lean in slightly, a silent confirmation. and thatâs all it takes.
âokay,â he murmurs. and then his lips are on yours again.
his lips brush against yours, soft, careful, like heâs still making sure this is what you want. he doesnât press hard, his hand holding your jaw, his lips barely there. you shudder at his touch, at the feeling of him. and then you kiss him back.
it's hesitant- unsure. you still donât know how to do this, how to match someoneâs rhythm, someone who knows what theyâre doing. but heeseung doesnât rush you. itâs not overwhelming. he just guides you, and you let him.
he tilts his head slightly, molding his lips against yours, coaxing you to follow his lead. and you do. you follow the way his lips move, melting more into the kiss by the second. you can feel his other hand moving, his fingers ghosting over the side of your neck. you shiver at his touch, the warmth, the position of his touch sending a wave of heat rushing through you.
his fingers rest on the back of your neck, just below your hairline. his touch is gentle, guiding you closer to him, and you let him, instinctively moving closer to him. the kiss deepens just slightly, his hand pulling you even closer.
you should pull away. stop here. this should be enough. but you want more. a flicker of something unfamiliar and new buzzes in your chest, and youâre moving before you can think too much about it. your hands reach out, finding the front of his hoodie as your hands grip the fabric, pulling him even closer.
that changed everything. heeseung exhales sharply against your lips, and then heâs kissing you harder, deeper. your brain short circuits, the added intensity unfamiliar, but so welcomed. his grip on the back of your neck loosens, his fingers tangling in your hair.
a small noise escapes you, desperate, wanting. itâs barely audible over the noise of the radio and the rain against the windshield. but he hears it. you know he does. you feel the way his fingers tighten in your hair, tilting your head as he deepens the kiss, a quiet hum vibrating in his throat.
your head is spinning. itâs only your second kiss ever, youâre still fumbling to keep up, still clumsy in your movements. but the way heâs holding you, guiding you through it like he knows exactly what heâs doing- he does- you donât have to think too much. you just follow his movements.
your body melts into his touch, the nerves leading your body as you focus on his kisses and nothing else. your fingers loosen their grip on his hoodie, threading into his hair, your fingers tightening slightly. his breath hitches for a second, a noise leaving his lips. it sends a shiver down your spine. his lips slow, his kisses growing softer again, like heâs trying to ground himself. the thought makes your stomach flip, so many different feelings swirling inside you. new feelings. foreign feelings. but you love them.
neither of you speak when you finally pull away, your foreheads resting against each other. youâre both breathless, lips parted and swollen as you catch your breath. your hands stay tangled in each otherâs hair, like neither of you want to let go just yet.
the air is thick with something unspoken, like a line was crossed tonight. you donât care right now. you donât want to think about that.
part of your mind knows you should pull away, create some distance before this goes further than it already has. but you donât want to. so you donât.
your fingers that are tangled in his hair tighten slightly, and before you can stop yourself, youâre leaning in again. pressing your lips against his, not soft, not gentle. you want more.
heeseung exhales softly, and itâs like his resolve snaps. like everything he was holding back breaks at your movements. his hands drop to your waist, tugging slightly. you pull away from his lips, your breath heavy as your brows furrow.
âwhat-â you begin, blinking in confusion.
he cuts you off with a quiet laugh, his voice almost teasing, but with a hint of warmness thatâs not usually there. âtrust me.â
and you do. you let his hands lift you, the space between you becoming increasingly smaller. the awkwardness of the carâs cramped interior makes your movements more careful. you let him guide you over the center console, your body bending slightly as it digs into your legs.
and then youâre in his lap. his hands remain on your waist, just holding you, watching you. your hands rest on his shoulders, steadying yourself. the new proximity makes your pulse stutter, so close to him it feels dizzying.
his eyes search over your face, before his hands find your back, and heâs pulling you into him. his lips are on yours again, and every thought you had vanishes. this kiss is different than the other two.
it's hungrier, more desperate. like he was holding back, waiting for permission to let go. and you gave him that. his hands are everywhere- your back, trailing up your sides, your thighs, your hips, his touch desperate. like heâs trying to commit you to his memory.
it's dizzying. intoxicating. your hands tangle in his hoodie again, trying to ground yourself as a small noise slips past your lips. everywhere he touches feels like it leaves fire in his wake.
and then his lips leave yours. your breath catches as his lips move lower. he kisses the corner of your mouth, then your jaw. the sensation is foreign. itâs overwhelming. you can feel his breath against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine as a sigh leaves your lips. his hand on your thigh tightens at the noise, a noise coming from deep in his throat as his kisses become messier.
his kisses trail along your neck, sucking, kissing, his breath ghosting over your skin. you felt hot. your fingers tighten in his hoodie, a sharp exhale leaving your lips. your heart is racing, your breathing picking up. your body is reacting to sensations youâve never experienced before. your head falls back slightly, his lips exploring more area. itâs intoxicating. dizzying. but itâs a lot. itâs too much all at once, as much as you want more.
the moment you shift slightly, heeseung notices. his kisses stop, but he doesnât pull away. his breath is warm against your neck before, slowly, he lifts his head, his gaze searching yours. his grip on your body loosens slightly, just resting there now.
âyou okay?â his voice is low, laced with something that makes your head spin. âtoo much?â
you swallow, grounding yourself. you want this. you want his touch, his kisses, his attention on you. but it feels like itâs moving too fast, caught between the two emotions.
you nod, before quickly shaking your head. âi-â you stutter, your voice quiet, breathy and shaky. âi donât know. itâs a lot. but i want it.â
his brows draw together slightly. he doesnât look angry, he looks concerned. his voice is quiet, comforting. his hands slide to rest on your waist, simply holding you. âweâll stop for now. i donât want to rush you.â
his voice is steady, but his breathing is uneven. thereâs an emotion in his eyes you canât place. theyâre darker, flickering over your face. your heart lurches at the mention of âfor now.â he wants more as well. you exhale, your breath shaky as you nod. âokay.â
you want to feel something more. you donât want to move, donât want to leave the moment. so you lean in, your cheek resting against his shoulder as you breathe out, the warmth of his body grounding you.
his hands hover slightly over your waist, before they trail up your back, hands splaying out as he tugs you closer to him. itâs intimate. too intimate. youâre crossing a line, and you know it.
his chest rises and falls beneath you, his steady breathing calming your erratic heartbeat. the warmth of his body feels like a blanket, everything quiet. you let the silence wash over you. itâs not awkward. itâs comfortable. the only sound that surrounds you is the rain, and the soft radio, âdelicateâ by taylor swift playing quietly.
his thumbs rub against your back, the small action causing a quiet hum to leave you as you shift against him, getting more comfortable. you hear a quiet laugh leave him, so soft it almost just sounds like a breath. his voice is soft, but it has the familiar teasing tone youâre used to. âyou good, princess?â
the nickname feels different this time- not used to tease anymore. like an unspoken acknowledgement that something has shifted, the layers of tension being peeled back slowly, your desires coming to fruition more every time you see him. itâs something neither of you want to say out loud, but you both feel it.
you smile softly, nodding your head against his shoulder. âyeah. iâm good,â you whisper, your voice soft.
he hums, tilting his head slightly so his lips brush against your ear as he speaks again, his voice so soft. âyou sure? i know that was⊠a lot.â
and you know it was. youâre feeling so much. so many feelings swirling in your chest. but you only nod, not wanting to break the moment. âyeah.â
you press closer into him, snuggling up against his warmth. his arms tighten just slightly around you, locking you in his embrace, like you would ever want to leave.
âiâm not going anywhere,â he laughs softly, feeling your hands grip his hoodie just a bit tighter. his voice has a warmth youâve never heard before, the tone making your stomach flip, and you only hum in response, snuggling your head further against his shoulder.
you know youâre down bad, you know youâre falling. hell, youâve already fallen. part of you knows itâs a bad idea. while the other part just wants to live. wants to experience this moment. the serenity, the soft sound of the radio, and the warmth of lee heeseung.
and for the first time today, it doesnât feel like everything is falling apart.
âââââ ââ ââââ
âi donât know!â you cry out, throwing your hands up as you stare at the two girls sat in front of you with their jaws dropped. "i donât even know what happened! itâs all a mess!â
yunjin stands up, immediately pacing the room as she looks at you, shaking her head in disbelief. âwait, let me get this straight? you made out with him. in a car. in the rain? y/n, what the fuck?â
wonyoung, still sitting, crosses her arms. âand you didnât think to- what, call us? text us? i donât know, anything.â
you roll your eyes, staring back at her. âi did call you guys. yunjin was too busy getting her back blown out by beomgyu, and god knows what you were doing. he was the last person i could call, and i wasnât about to walk home sobbing in that rain!â
yunjin stops pacing, turning to you with her jaw dropped. âthatâs a valid reason to not pick up the phone!â
wonyoungâs face scrunches up in confusion, her head tilting. âyou called me? i was watching youtube, i swear my phone didnât ring.â
you throw your hands up in frustration. âi donât care! itâs in the past, iâm just- fuck, iâm losing my mind. i donât know what iâm supposed to feel.â
yunjin looks at wonyoung, the two sharing a look of disbelief. âokay. you asked him to kiss you, so obviously part of you knows what youâre feeling.â
âi donât-â you groan, dropping your head in your hands. âiâve never done this before, yunjin! itâs all new to me. itâs terrifying.â
wonyoung smirks, clearly enjoying your misery. âyouâre down bad, girl. just admit it.â
you sigh, falling back onto the couch. âi know iâm down bad, wonyoung. i blush just thinking about the guy.â
yunjin sucks in a breath, sitting down next to you. âbrutal. so, like, what happened after? you made out, then what?â
you pause, mind still spinning as you recount the memories of everything. you turn away from her, your voice quiet as you speak. âhe like⊠pulled me into his lap. and he was kissing my neckâŠâ
thereâs a long silence. no one saying anything. you look back to see yunjin and wonyoung both staring at you with wide eyes.
âwhat the fuck?â wonyoung yells, standing up. you press a finger over your mouth, begging her to shut up. she shakes her head, continuing to ramble. ây/n! oh my god, this is insane!â
you place your hands over your face, heat crawling up your cheeks. âi know! i donât know what iâm doing, guys! then we kinda hugged? and just sat there for like ten minutes. we only stopped because my legs were falling asleep and i made up some excuse to go inside.â
yunjin only sighs, leaning her head back against the couch. âyouâre so oblivious. he wants you.â
you raise an eyebrow at her, slowly uncovering your face. âyou donât know that. why would he want me when he has a ton of other girls that know so much more than i do? i feel like a burden, like he has to teach me everything. i chickened out from a few seconds of him kissing my fucking neck!â
wonyoung laughs, shaking her head. âi donât know, y/n. why do guys do half of the stuff that they do?â she stretches, raising her arms above her head as she continues. âplus, not every guys mind is filed with sex. maybe heâs okay with taking it slow with you. i still canât believe you bagged heeseung of all people, though. heâs known for his hook-ups.â
âthatâs exactly what i mean,â you mumble, your voice growing more defeated by the second. âmaybe this isnât a good idea. i feel like an idiot.â
yunjin sits up, smacking your stomach before rising to her feet. âstop doubting yourself. youâre hot, okay? youâre looking into it too much, i promise.â
you only glance at her, a pout on your lips. she sighs, grabbing your arms and pulling you to sit up. âiâm not saying to rush into anything, alright? donât forget his reputation. but if he was willing to just hold you for ten minutes like that? thereâs obviously something more there.â
you give her a half-smile, considering her words. they hit deep, considering that his reputation had been the one thing lingering in the back of your mind when you got butterflies thinking about something that he did. what if you were just a game? just something to entertain him until the next girl came along?
âââââ ââ ââââ
the last few days had been brutal. you had forgetting what having a crush- an actual crush- felt like. on top of the⊠physical aspect of it, you were losing your mind.
searching for heeseung around campus, daydreaming in class, your body heating up at the memory of his hands on you. you felt like a teenage boy with raging hormones. it didnât help that you barely ever had the form to yourself, so being able to act on your desires was rare.
now, itâs 10pm. youâre sitting in your room, finishing up some last minute assignments. yunjin is in her bed, scrolling on her phone, tiktoks playing quietly in the background. you submit your last assignment, your phone buzzing next to you. you glance at it, expecting a random notification, but itâs a text from heeseung.
your heart speeds up just slightly.
heeseung [10:20 pm]: u busy?you squint at the message. your stomach twists slightly, the two simple words sending a rush of adrenaline through you.
you pick it up, anyway, typing out a quick response. you tell yourself to act normal. he canât tell if youâre flustered over text.
you [10:21 pm] why?itâs read immediately. and almost just as quickly, three dots appear.
heeseung [10:21 pm]: wanna watch a movieoh, for fuckâs sake. this could only mean one thing. you felt your pulse speed up slightly, your fingers hovering over the keyboard before you send your response.
you [10:22 pm]: watch it yourselfheeseung [10:22 pm]: donât want toyou sigh, reading his message over and over. you couldnât fall for a trap this easily, but yet, you wanted to.
you [10:22 pm]: ask jake or somethingheeseung [10:23 pm]: he doesnât look as good as uyour breath catches. oh. your whole body felt like it was heating up, betraying you quicker than your mind was. you should ignore him. put down the phone, pretend this conversation didnât happen. save your sanity.
heeseung [10:24 pm]: u gonna respond?fuck it.
you [10:24 pm]: i hate u. be there in 10.you push yourself off the bed, yunjin sending you a look when you grab your jacket, pulling it over your arms.
âare you going somewhere?â she asks, tilting her head. you jump slightly at her voice. you had forgotten she was here. fuck.
âuh, yeah.â
she raises an eyebrow, a tiktok playing on loop as she watches you. âat 10:30 pm?â
fuck. think of an excuse. anything. âyeah, i need to-â you glance around, your eyes landing on your backpack. âi need to print something!â
she just stares at you, her expression full of amusement. âprint something.â
you want the floor to swallow you. âyeah.â
"...at 10:30?â
"yep!â you reply, trying your hardest to seem believable.
she blinks. âwhat do you need a printer for?â
âclass!â you reply quickly. too quickly. âwhat else would i need it for? thatâs why, iâm going to the library.â
her eyes narrow, her eyebrows furrowing. âthe library closes at nine.â
fuck. youâre horrible at this. âwonyoung has a printer! in her dorm! so iâm going. to print. my paper. because class is important.â
no response. silence envelops the two of you. finally, she tilts her head. âyou donât have class tomorrow.â
youâre going to slam your head into the wall. âfine!â you exclaim, throwing your hands up. âiâm going to walmart for snacks! is that better?âyunjin holds back a laugh, her eyes flickering with amusement. âsnack run. got it.â
âyeah, i had to lie or else⊠or else you would ask me to buy you something. and i donât have a lot of money.â you reply. she only smirks. she knows youâre full of shit. you know she knows.
âokay,â she shrugs, looking back at her phone. you let out a deep breath you didnât know you were holding, walking towards the door. just as your hand touches the doorknob, she speaks again. âuse protection.â
you freeze, your stomach dropping. you turn to look at her, slowly. âwhat?â
she keeps her eyes trained on her phone, but thereâs a shit-eating grin on her face. âyou heard me.â
you gasp incredulously, glancing around the room. âi told you iâm going to walmart.â
she snorts, finally glancing up at you, âyeah, and iâm going to paris next weekend.â
you glare at her, flipping her off. âit was the best i could come up with! you put me on the spot!â
âit was horrible,â she sighs, shaking her head in disappointment before continuing, âi donât care what youâre do, but at least lie better. and iâm a bit offended you didnât just tell me the truth.â
you shake your head, embarrassment rushing through you. ânothingâs happening!â
âno.â she replies, a smirk on her lips as she turns off her phone, placing it next to her. âyouâre getting dicked down by lee heeseung. thatâs whatâs happening.â
your jaw drops, and you yank the door open, your face burning red. âi am not! shut up!â
âgoodnight, y/n,â she muses, a teasing smile on her lips.
you slam the door shut behind you, stomping down the hall. fuck. that was humiliating. youâre never living that down. sheâs probably texting wonyoung at this exact moment, telling her everything that just happened.
you groan out loud, your head falling back as you wait outside the elevator, sending heeseung a text.
you [10:27 pm]: iâm going to kill u.you donât wait for his response, stepping into the elevator as it opens. your stomach is twisting in anticipation, for⊠whatever is going to happen tonight. your body is betraying you. your mind is betraying you. thoughts flickering through your mind, making you feel dizzy as you walk to his dorm.
itâs a short enough walk, simply enjoying the scenery of campus as you make your way to his dorm. itâs quiet at this hour, and it almost feels like youâre the only one here, besides the student you pass every few minutes. every step feels heavier, like youâre getting closer to what you know is a like you havenât crossed before. as if you havenât crossed more in the last week than you ever thought you would.
when you finally make it to his dorm, following the directions he gave you, your heart pounds in your chest as you stand outside his door. you hesitate, before raising your hand and knocking once. twice.
you hear footplates approaching the door, before it swings open and- oh.
your mouth almost waters at the sight. heeseung is standing there, a white wifebeater clinging to his skin, grey sweatpants low on his hips. his hair is messy and disheveled, making him look even more irresistible. his arms are crossed against his chest, muscles flexing every time he moves slightly.
your brain stops working, your eyes raking over his figure before you realize what youâre doing. they snap back up to his face, but itâs too late. he already has the smug look on his face, and youâre praying he doesnât say anything.
luckily, by the grace of god, he doesnât. he leans against the doorframe, raising his eyebrows slightly. âtook you long enough.â
you sigh, your lips pursing as you glare at him. âshut up. iâm here, arenât i?â
âyeah.â he says, voice dropping with teasing tone as he tilts his head. âi was starting to miss you, pretty girl.â
your eyes widen a bit at the new nickname, and you swear your heart skips a few beats. you want to slam your head into the nearest wall repeatedly. you want him to-
no. you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to get a grip. âmove,â you finally say, pushing past him and entering his dorm.
it looks like a typical college athlete dorm room. he was lucky enough to get a whole dorm to himself, basketball posters littering the walls, a pc set up where the other bed usually goes, and a small couch and tv off to the other side of the room. it was cozy, and not too cluttered.
he lets you push him, and you try not to focus on how his muscles feel so much more defined through his tank top than they did through his hoodie. âdamn, princess. youâre killing me.â
you roll your eyes, walking over to his couch and plopping down on it. you watch as he shuts the door, stepping closer to you. his smirk stays on his lips, his eyes full of something you canât read, but it sends a shiver down your spine.
âso,â you begin, trying to keep your emotions in check. âwhat movie are we watching?â
he doesnât say anything, simply sitting next to you on the couch and turning the tv on. the movie of choice is waiting to be played, and your eyes squint slightly.
â10 things i hate about you?â your voice comes out more surprised than you meant, and heeseung looks at you, tilting his head. you hadnât expected this choice. you were expecting him to pick a marvel movie, or mad max, something that guys watch, you didnât know.
his smile is smug, glancing at the tv and back at you. âyeah,â he shrugs, not seeing the big deal. âdo you not like it?â
you blink, thrown off. a rom-com? itâs not something you had expected heeseung- or any college boy in general- to enjoy. you feel like youâre uncovering a new side of him, one that you havenât seen before.
you shake your head quickly, âno, itâs one of my favorites. just didnât think you would watch something like this.â
he raises an eyebrow in response, leaning back against the couch as he presses play. âiâm a man of depth, y/n.â his voice is teasing, his eyes flickering from yours to the tv.
your stomach flips, but you donât say anything else. you settle back into the couch, unsure of how much distance to put between the two of you.
about halfway through the movie, patrick and kat finally kiss. lying down after the paintball game, against the hay. itâs like you can feel the tension snapping between them, your eyes staring longingly at the screen.
you canât look away. itâs something youâve always wanted. the kind of love youâve always wanted to experience (well, besides the fact it all started as a bet). your mind flickers to you and heeseung and whatever⊠this is.
without thinking, the words spill out, wistful, longing. âiâve always wanted a love like theirs. this movie is perfect.â
silence. the reality of who you just spoke those words in front of settles in. you blink, wanting the ground to swallow you. you glance over at heeseung, praying to every god that he somehow didnât hear you. he definitely did.
his eyes flicker towards yours, the corner of his mouth lifting into that signature smirk. he doesnât say anything at first, just watching you, the way you shift in your seat, obviously regretting your choice of words.
âyeah?â he finally asks, his voice low and teasing. it sends a chill through your body, and he leans just a bit closer. âi guess they are pretty nice together, arenât they? reminds me of us.â
his words make your eyes widen just slightly, your pulse speeding up at his comment. you swallow, hard. your mouth opens, but no words leave your lips. his gaze stays on yours, intense, waiting. but you canât speak. the room feels like itâs shrinking, the air suddenly too think to breathe.
he tilts his head, the stupid smirk still on his lips. âcat got your tongue?â his voice is still low, but thereâs something else to it now. you bite your lip, nerves crackling between the both of you. the movie continues to play, but itâs just background noise now, only sound filling the heated silence between you.
he shifts, his body facing yours completely now, making him feel so much closer. the smirk on his face drops slightly, an unreadable expression taking over his features. your breath stutters, and you force words to leave your lips. âwell⊠i mean-â
he leans in closer, so close you can feel his warm breath against your skin. your heartbeat quickens, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with the moment. you try to ignore your nerves, your erratic heartbeat, your shaky breath, the way your lips part slightly. but itâs impossible.
he raises a hand to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. âtell me,â he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, laced with something you canât quite place. he drags your bottom lip down with his thumb, before letting it fall back into place. âyou ever think about that with someone like me?â
you swear your heartbeat stops. because you have. god, of course you have. but the words are stuck in your throat, the moment too tense for you to force any words out. you canât even think straight. you feel surrounded by him. the look in his eyes, the proximity, his touch.
you inhale sharply, your eyes closing for just a second as you try to ground yourself. itâs useless. youâre too far gone, the moment is too tense. his gaze flickers to your lips, a soft breath leaving his lips, and something inside you snaps.
your lips crash against his, your hands threading into his hair to pull him closer. he reciprocates immediately, groaning against your lips, like he had been waiting all night for this. his hand on your jaw tilts your head, deepening the kiss. itâs frantic, messy, and desperate. charged with emotion and the tension that had been building all night. all the unsaid words pouring themselves into the way your lips move against each other.
his free hand finds your waist, pulling you closer. slowly, he shifts his hand to your back, fingers splaying out as he secures you, slowly guiding you down until youâre lying back on the couch, your bodies pressed together, his legs between yours. his weight settles over you, caging you in, but it feels like more than that. something you canât quite place.
your fingers leave his hair, trailing down to his chest, your breath stuttering as you feel the way his muscles move beneath his tank top, desire shooting through you. his tongue prods at your bottom lip, asking for more, your mouth opening instinctively to let him in. your breath catches as his tongue brushes against yours. itâs a foreign feeling, and you donât know what to do. your inexperience is painfully obvious, insecurity filling you. but heeseung doesnât rush you. his hand on your jaw tilts your head slightly, coaxing you to follow his movements. his kisses are slower now, letting you adjust. itâs messy and uncertain, but he exhales against your lips, hot and heavy, and you realize that he doesnât care. your inexperience doesnât matter to him. he wants this. you want this. you let yourself relax, your lips moving more confidently against his.
something inside you clicks, your resolve shattering as your mind is clouded with the desire. the want for more. more of his lips, his touch, everything. your body feels like itâs on fire, need spreading throughout you. you pull back, gasping for air, both of your chests rising and falling as you catch your breath. your mind is hazy from the intensity of the kiss, of the feelings swirling through you.
heeseungâs gaze softens slightly, like heâs about to say something, but before he can speak, you interrupt him. your voice is shaky, but firm. âi want more.â
he stares at you for a second, processing your words. then, his eyes darken, and itâs like you can feel the shift in the room. a deep, guttural groan leaves his lips, and before you can process it, his lips are back on yours. his kisses are deeper, more urgent, desperate, like you just shattered his last ounce of restraint he had. you feel dizzy, his kisses intoxicating. his touch grows more fervent, one tangling in your hair to tilt your head.
you sigh against his lips, everything feeling like too much and not enough at the same time as your hands grip his biceps, grounding yourself to something. his tongue slides against yours in a way that makes your head spin, the intensity of his kisses sending your mind reeling.
and then he shifts. just slightly, but his hips press against yours. itâs subtle, unintentional, but it sends a shock through your body, a familiar spark burning in your core. you gasp against his lips, your fingers tightening around his biceps as the pleasure spreads.
he notices. fuck, of course he notices. hears the small, shaky sound that leaves you. he pulls back just slightly, his breath warm against your lips. his voice is low, dripping with amusement. âthat feel good, princess?â
you tighten around nothing, your thighs attempting to close, squeeze together, ease some of the tension youâre feeling. but you canât, not with heeseung in between your legs. his lips curve into a smirk, picking up on every detail about your body. he presses his lips against yours again. rolling his hips again, this time deliberately.
your breath stutters. the feeling is overwhelming, too much with all the emotions youâre already feeling, but you want it. your fingers dig into his biceps, using your grip as an anchor for your sanity, but he doesnât stop. his lips trail along your jaw, down your neck, his voice tickling your skin. âyou like that, donât you?â
you canât answer, can barely breathe. you try to speak, but he rolls his hips just right, pressing right against your clit, and a whimper slips past your lips. he hears it. loves it. but when you donât answer, he slows his hips, the loss of friction making your fingers tighten.
you go to protest, but he speaks before you. âcâmon princessâ, he murmurs, hand sliding down to grip your waist. âi asked you a question.â
he shifts slightly- just enough for you to feel it. but itâs not enough. your core clenches at the fleeting pressure. âdonât get all shy on me now,â he hums, angling your hips just right before rolling his agan. slower, more controlled.
your nails dig into his arms, head tipping back slightly. itâs not enough. and he knows. heâs waiting. waiting for you to break. and finally, you do. you gasp, voice breathless and desperate as it leaves your lips. âyes.â
he huffs out a laugh against your ear, a shiver running down your spine. âthatâs my girl.â his lips crash against yours, grinding against you harder, pulling gasps and whimpers from you.
âfuck,â he exhales, forehead resting against yours. his breath is ragged, fingers tightening on your waist, like heâs trying to hold back.
but you need more. your hips push up, chasing the dizzying pleasure. his grip tightens, his hips rocking harder, faster. âshit- princessâŠâ he groans, burying his face in the crook of your neck. then you feel it. the solid press of him through his sweats. fuck, heâs huge. your stomach clenches, an involuntary moan leaving you. heâs hard, because of you. heâs enjoying this.
you shift again, your underwear sticking uncomfortably to yourself, voice shaky and broken. âheeseung-â
his hand slides beneath your shirt, fingers splaying across your waist. his lips hover against yours, voice quiet, strained. âiâve got you.â
it's too much. every roll of his hips, every kiss, every touch. your head rolls back, eyes fluttering shut as pleasure rushes through you. you can feel the knot in your stomach tightening, so close to tipping over the edge.
heeseung watches, his breath hitching. his eyes are dark, lidded, filled with lust. his hands tighten on your waist, hips pressing harder. âyou close, princess?â
you nod, your hips trying to push up against him, but he holds you down, forcing you to take it. a groan leaves his lips, his voice strained as he grits his teeth. âfuck⊠youâre gonna make me blow a load in my pants.â
his words make you shiver, barely processing words at this point. and then his hips move just right- and you break. your entire body tenses, your back arching off the couch as a broken cry leaves you, white-hot pleasure crashing over you.
heeseungâs brows are furrowed, his jaw slack, watching as you tremble beneath him. and thatâs all it takes for him. his fingers grip your waist tighter, his hips stuttering against yours as a choked gasp spills past his lips. âah, fuck-â he groans out, finally finishing in his pants. his body shakes against yours, the feeling only heightening your pleasure.
itâs silent for a bit, the only sounds being the movie playing quietly in the background and your heaving breaths. you can still feel the aftershocks, your mind foggy, having felt as if it's flown somewhere far away. and then, a quiet, breathless laugh leaves heeseungâs lips. âdamn, princess.â
your lips part, but nothing but a soft exhale leaves your lips. your heartbeat is pounding in your ears, everything feeling too heavy. heeseungâs expression shifts, his amusement turning into something softer, his fingers brushing against your cheek. his touch sends a shiver down your spine, still hypersensitive. âyou good?â
your eyes finally flutter open, blinking softly. you manage a small nod, slowly coming back to reality.
a small laugh leaves his lips, but his tone remains soft. âyou sure? you look like youâre on another planet.â
you nod again, and then reality sinks in. you just came in your pants because of lee heeseung. you basically had indirect sex with lee heeseung. your eyes widen slightly, a hand covering your eyes as you groan quietly. âi canât believe we just did that.â
he leans down just slightly, his lips brushing against yours ever so softly. âbelieve it, baby.â
you let out an exasperated laugh, rolling your eyes as you shove at his chest. âliterally shut up.â
he only laughs, pushing himself so heâs hovering above you. he just watches you for a moment, silence enveloping you as you both process everything. and then. ânot gonna lie, iâve never came in my pants before.â
your eyes widen, just looking at him. âoh.â you blink, averting your gaze. but then, something clicks. you did that. you were a first for him, too. it causes something proud to bloom in your chest, holding back a smile.
âwhy do you-â heeseung squints at you, an amused scoff leaving his lips. âare you proud of yourself right now?â
you avert your gaze, poorly biting back a smile. âno.â
âoh my god,â he groans, his head dropping to rest against your chest. âyou so are.â
you giggle, trying to ignore how his touch affects you. âi mean, i think thatâs kinda an accomplishment. donât you?â
he lifts his head, an amused expression on his face. he laughs softly, shaking his head. âyouâre unreal.â
âi guess youâre rubbing off on me,â you shrug, pushing some hair out of his face. due to his positioning, though, it falls back right away.
âand, uhâŠâ you hand runs down his face, fingers grazing down his chest as your eyes remain on his. âiâve never done that with anyone before.â
he lets out a quiet curse, and you can feel his muscles tensing under your fingers. he finally snaps out of it, glancing down at where youâre still connected. âthis is just uncomfortable now.â
you shift your hips, trying to ease some of the uncomfortable stickiness. it backfires, heeseungâs hand gripping your hip as he sucks a breath in through his teeth. âdonât move.â
it sends a jolt of electricity through you, your lips parting slightly. fuck, this was such new territory for you. before you can speak, heseung is pushing himself off of you, standing up with a groan.
âiâm gonna go get us some pants.â
you push yourself up on your elbows, your stomach doing a little flip. the word leaves your lips before you can think about it. âus?â
he tilts his head, a soft smile on his lips. âyes, us. iâm not letting you sleep over in ruined pants.â
sleep over. youâre sleeping over. youâre spending the night at a guys dorm- heeseungâs dorm.
âdonât look so surprised, princess. iâm not letting you walk home this late,â he speaks again, watching your surprised expression.
and when he reaches out his hand, pulling you up to your feet, you let him. you let him get you a change of pants. you let him pull you closer in bed. you let yourself fall asleep in lee heeseungâs arms, even though your heart is beating out of your chest the whole time.
tonight, he had pulled the hood of your (his) hoodie up when the wind picked up, his fingers lingering for just a second too long. his fingers brushed against yours while you walked together, and for a second, you thought he was going to intertwine your fingers. tonight, he had just watched you when you were speaking. really watched you. like he was memorizing every detail of your face. and now, youâre here at your dorm. and you donât want to go inside. you donât want the night to end. you shift your weight from one foot to the other, looking up at heeseung as he stands in front of you. âthanks for walking me back,â you mumble, shoving your hands in the pocket of his hoodie.
heeseung nods, his lips parting. your eyes light up the slightest bit. it looks like heâs going to do something, say something. finally, finally cross that line.
maybe a kiss. not a kiss filled with tension, or a makeout session. a kiss just because. a soft, fleeting goodnight kiss.
but then, he just exhales through his nose, his lips curling into a soft smile. his hands lift, your heart speeding up. itâs happening.
and then, he tugs your hood down. his touch is so soft, itâs comforting. he brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, your breath hitching at the action. his eyes flicker over your face, filled with unsaid words, and you can almost see the way heâs fighting his thoughts.his voice is so quiet when he speaks, filled with something you canât place. âgoodnight, princess.â
you swallow, something akin to disappointment filling you. but you brush it off, simply nodding as you take a step back. âgoodnight, heeseung.âhis lips part again, but he closes them quickly, simply returning the nod. you try not to let your emotions show, just turning around and entering your dorm, the ghost of whatever moment shouldâve just happened disappearing into the air.
the door clicks shut behind you, and now itâs just you. alone. itâs quiet. too quiet. youâre half-expecting yunjinâs voice to fill the room, teasing you, asking you to spill all the details- but it doesnât. sheâs spending the night at beomgyuâs. itâs become routine for her.
part of you wishes that was routine for you and heeseung as well. you sigh, running a hand through your hair before finally making your way to your bed, sliding under the covers. heeseungâs hoodie smells like him. that somehow makes everything worse.
everything should be fine. this shouldnât be a big deal. but you canât stop thinking about it. the way he looked at you tonight- hell, the way heâs been looking at you every day lately. how close he got tonight, how his touch lingered. and the look in his eyes. like there was so much he wanted to say. but he didnât. he never does.
you stare at the ceiling, unsure of whether your feelings are valid or not. this isnât how you expected your first romance to go. not that this is even a romance. or a relationship. or a situationship. whatever it is.
you always thought love would be easier to understand, to navigate. that you would see someone, and everything would just click. you wouldnât have to wonder, you wouldnât be anxious. love at first sight, they call it. maybe you read too many books, watched too many movies. maybe you just had an unrealistic expectation of love.
you push the doubt away, along with the lingering thoughts of confusion. theyâre not fair. not to heeseung, and definitely not to you. youâre happy. or, youâre supposed to be happy.
so why does it feel like youâre waiting for something thatâs never going to come? something just out of reach, like a mirage? no matter how close you get, it continues to get further away.
âââââ ââ ââââ
the sun is out, trees rustling slightly with the breeze. you and wonyoung walk side by side, her rambling about how some guy in her economics class- anton- keeps trying to flirt with her. itâs funny. sometimes you wonder if wonyoung truly understands how beautiful she is. you canât blame the guy.
âgirl, i donât know why youâre surprised,â you roll your eyes, a small laugh leaving your lips, âyouâre stunning.â
she smiles, her mouth opening as she goes to respond, but the words die on her lips as both your ears pick up on the conversation happening next to you.
âheeseung? oh yeah, he said they were just messing around.â
something said in passing by a guy talking to his friend. something not meant for your ears, but you heard it. and it hurt. made your stomach twist, a disgusting feeling settling in your gut.
there was a party yesterday. heeseung went. he told you he was going. your mind swirled with endless possibilities. did something happen there? was something said? why are other people talking about you?
you donât react- at least, not outwardly. but the words feel like a punch to your gut. a bucket of ice water being poured over your head. wonyoung hears it, too. you know she did. you watch as she turns to you, her eyebrows furrowing slightly.
âheeseung?â she asks, tilting her head slightly. âdid something happen?â
it only makes the ugly feeling inside you worse.
you shake your head, trying to keep your voice as normal as possible. âno. but rumors are just rumors. besides, heâs really popular. people are bound to talk.â
you try to convince yourself you mean what youâre saying out loud. like everythingâs fine. like it doesnât hurt.
she hesitates a bit, studying your face. she opens her mouth, but ultimately nods along to your words slowly, letting it go. she continues to talk, the conversation between you two easily flowing again.
you reply, trying to seem invested. trying to stop the uneasiness forming inside you more and more by the second. but itâs hard. you know heeseung. you know his reputation.
sieun finally turns to look at you, her smile turning sympathetic, taunting. âyouâre cute,â she muses, fake sadness dripping from her voice. âi hope youâre not expecting anything serious.â
it hurts. it feels like a stab wound to the heart, pain rushing through your whole body. your mouth opens and closes, but no words leave you. your gaze flickers back too heeseung, waiting for something, anything.
that something never comes.
sieun simply laughs under her breath and shakes her head, leaving as quickly as she came. leaving you two surrounded by a crushing silence.
your hands curl into fists underneath the table, frustration turning to anger and hurt as you stare at the tabletop. heeseung still hasnât said anything. he sits there, silent, and you can feel his gaze on you.
it hurts too much. your heart feels like itâs shattering more by the second, and you canât take it anymore. youâre pushing yourself up from your seat before you can think twice about it, grabbing your bag, and walking.
you donât look back. you donât listen to his voice, or the stares from others as you make a beeline for the door. it swings open, the cold outside air whipping around you immediately, only adding to the storm of emotions in your head. you canât think straight, every thought in your mind jumbled.
you donât hear him behind you, not until you feel the faintest pull on your wrist do you stop, your breath catching in your throat. you hear his breath, ragged, quick. and finally, after everything, he speaks.
ây/n,â he says softly, cautiously, almost hesitant. his grip tightens just slightly, tugging just slightly more.
âyou couldâve said something,â you mumble, the words barely escaping your lips. âanything. and you didnât.â
thereâs a pause. silence. deafening silence. and suddenly, itâs like the rose-tinted glasses were ripped off, leaving you standing with the reality of your actions.
tears brim your eyes as everything hits you all at once. you fell for the playboy. you were stupid enough to just be another one of his girls. your throat tightens, and the words spill out before you can stop them.
âi gave you so much,â you choke out, your voice trembling as you turn around to face him. âi- i actually trusted you. i had hope.â
his expression falters just slightly, his grip loosening, just barely, but you notice it. his mouth opens, but you cut him off before he can speak, all the frustrated feelings youâve bottled up leaving you.
âyou knew how new this was for me,â you continue, your voice rising. you ignore the stares of other students, or the tears that begin to spill from your eyes. âhow new all of this is. why would you- why would you take that from me? i donât know what iâm doing half the time weâre together, but i still try. and you- you just⊠you donât try! you give me nothing in return!â
a bitter laugh leaves your lips, full of disbelief. your free hand comes up to rest on your forehead, trying to ground yourself somehow. but itâs no use. your tears keep falling, anger and heartbreak mixing to form the worst rush of emotions youâve ever had.
âyou donât even kiss me goodnight, heeseung,â you mumble, your voice breaking as more tears spill from your eyes, blurring your vision. âyou canât even do that. the only time we kiss is when you want to fucking make out.â
his eyes widen slightly, and you can see the way guilt floods his features. but you canât stop. itâs like youâre running on autopilot at this point. you laugh again, the sound borderline hysterical. your body is shaking with a mix of your cries and the emotion running through you, the adrenaline, the heartbreak.
âyou canât even call me by my actual name,â you whisper, the words tasting bitter as they leave your mouth. part of you canât believe youâre saying these things out loud. âjust âprincessâ. always just princess.â
the laugh in your throat dies, simply replaced by silence aside from your sniffles. his face- the guilt on his face- burns into you the more you look at him, your heart shattering at the sight. but whatever this is hurts more. you canât take it anymore. canât keep sacrificing your happiness, and having doubts about if lingering touches are true or not.
âyou donât know how much that hurts,â you whisper, the anger you felt finally fading into nothing but heartbreak and hurt. âto give you everything, and only feel like a game. you know, i used to dream about my first kiss. every first i could ever have. and you- you took so many of them from me.â
you finally stop speaking, letting the words sink in for the both of you. itâs quiet, tears slipping down your cheeks, but your face is blank. and heeseung stands there, motionless. confusion and guilt filling his expression, but you canât wait around for a baseless apology.
so you donât. you pull your wrist from his grip, and he doesnât hold you back. he doesnât say anything. he just watches. and that somehow hurts more than hearing him say anything. you shut your eyes, biting your bottom lip to contain a sob as you turn on your heel, walking away.
through your blurry vision, you donât look back, keeping your vision forward as you walk away so fast itâs borderline running, your heart shattering more with every shaky step.
âââââ ââ ââââ
your footsteps were heavy, dragging. the walk back to your dorm had been torturous, dried tears on your face, little sniffles escaping you as you ignored the stares of other students. you could acknowledge that you probably looked like shit.
the door clicked quietly as you shut it behind you, locking you in silence. the familiar space that always provided comfort, seemed to do absolutely nothing for you now. your bag slid off your shoulder, falling to the floor with a quiet thud, but you didnât even hear it. you felt numb, everything far away.
but here, in the silence, it felt like everything replayed. every word, every emotion, him. your chest tightened, tears brimming in your eyes once again. they started to fall, soft at first, but they soon became uncontrollable. you tried to hold them back, to calm yourself down, but it was no use. your back hit the door, your legs giving out as you slid down, hitting the floor.
you tried desperately to catch your breath, your sobs wracking through you as your hands gripped at your chest, trying to grasp at any sense of control over the situation. nothing was working. everything hurt. you were left feeling stupid and gullible. just another one of lee heeseungâs girls.
and then, you saw it. on your desk chair, his hoodie was draped over the back. the sight sending a new wave of emotions through you. it was like you could feel it from where you sat on the floor, smell the familiar scent of him the hoodie carried. and it was all too much. a sob broke from your chest, loud, audible, everything crashing down at once.
your chest burned. your head hurt. everything felt wrong. you were trying to pull yourself together, but it only got worse. the reality of everything kept tumbling down on you, forcing you to replay the memories of the day over and over.
finally, you heard a door open, your eyes flickering over to the bathroom door only to see wonyoung and yunjin rushing to your side. their expressions filled with concern and confusion. it only made everything hurt more. your sobs were bordering being painful, your body shaking with each and every heaving breath you sucked in.
wonyoung was next to you first, wrapping her arms around you as you continued to cry. you couldn't do anything, your hands shaking in your lap as the tears flowed freely.
âwhatâd he do?â she asked bluntly, remembering the conversation from earlier. her hands rubbed your head, trying to calm you down as best she could. âwhat happened?â
your lip trembled as you tried to get words out, but all that left was a strangled sob, your eyes clenching shut. your hands came up to your face, as if you were attempting to block out the pain. but nothing worked. you felt the ache deep inside you, burning, stinging.
âwhat do you mean âwhatâd he doâ?â you heard yunjin ask, her hand rubbing your knee comfortingly. you couldnât reply, couldnât even get a single word out. but you heard wonyoung filling her in on the conversation you overheard earlier, only adding to the pain you felt.
you tried to speak, tried to fill them in on what had just happened, but it felt like the words were stuck in your throat, like bile threatening to come up. all that left you was gasps for air. and then, you sucked in a breath, and it all spilled out.
âsheâŠÂ sieun came up to us. said.. he moved on quickly. that i was a game.â you choked out between sobs, shutting your eyes to ground yourself. âhe didnât- he didnât say anything. nothing. he was just silent.â
âso⊠fuck. i left.â your chest heaved, squeezing your eyes shut as you spoke the words that felt too real. âhe tried to stop me- but i told him everything. everything iâve been feeling⊠ands he still didnât say a single fucking word.â
it felt like saying them out loud meant that it actually happened. that it was real. that you didnât imagine it, it wasnât a bad dream.
wonyoungâs arms tightened around you, pulling your head against her chest as you continued to sob, everything feeling too real. you had never felt this before. this all consuming pain that enveloped your whole body. a pain you couldnât pinpoint, not a physical pain, but an emotional pain. resting somewhere deep inside you.
yunjinâs eyes softened, her hands continuing to rub soft circles on your knee as you shook. âyou deserve so much better than that asshole, y/n.â
you swallowed hard, trying to steady your breathing. âi donât know what i was expecting, but i-â you choked on your words, closing your eyes before continuing. âi thought it was real.â
wonyoung rubbed your arm with the hand she had wrapped around you, the touch grounding you, comforting you. âdonât say that,â she whispered, her lips brushing against the top of your head, âthis isnât your fault.â
you shook your head, finally lifting it as you wiped your tears, a bitter, disbelieving laugh slipping past your lips. âbut it is,â you mumble, your voice shaky, âi let him in. i knew what i was getting into. lee heeseung, campus playboy. and iâm so, so fucking stupid for falling.â
the two girls stared at you, pity etched across their faces as they watched you break down on the floor, the happiness you had been feeling being ripped away from you all too soon, leaving you empty and heartbroken.
âââââ ââ ââââ
the world kept moving. the days stretched on, long and unbearable. it felt like each one bled into the other. it was strange. how time could feel so, so agonizingly slow. it had only been a few days, but it felt like weeks. but a part of you felt like you were still there. standing, waiting, begging for anything, and getting nothing but silence in return.
you went to class because you had to. because you couldnât let your grades slip. you sat in your usual seat with your notebook open, but the words blurred together. you busied yourself by doodling on your paper, words entering one ear and leaving the other. you couldnât focus on anything, when your mind would drift back to him. every time someone leaned back in their chair, or tapped their pen on their notebook, you felt like you could see him.
it made something in your stomach twist violently. you couldnât tell if it was nausea or longing. but you knew it hurt.
ây/n?â
you blinked, snapping back to reality at the sound of your name. you looked up, only to be met with the eyes of your professor, staring at you expectantly. fuck.
you swallow, gripping your pen just a bit tighter. âuhâŠâ your eyes scanned the board for something, anything, but nothing made sense. you had no idea what was being discussed, or what question had been asked. you felt embarrassment flood you, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth as you sighed. âiâm sorry, i wasnât paying attention. itâs been a long day.âyour professor shook her head, eyes full of disappointment. âyou need to pay attention, youâre usually better than this.â
it hurt. her look of disappointment, her words. if only she knew how you felt right now, the thoughts running through your head. but you only nodded, sinking in your seat as she moved on, another student raising their hand enthusiastically to answer the one you head clearly missed.
you forced yourself to sit through the rest of the lecture, trying to pay attention as best as you could. it didnât work. eventually, you went back to doodling, your mind running wild with thoughts of regret again.
you barely ate.
you werenât even doing it on purpose- didnât realize how long you would go without eating. you just had no appetite, no desire to fuel your body. you would go the whole day, not even realizing you hadnât eaten until it was 9pm and yunjin was shoving a cup of ramen in your face with a firm âeat.â
it reminded you of how much he loved ramen. the thought only made you want to eat it less, your stomach churning at the thought.
sleep wasnât much better. nights were the absolute worst.
at least during the day, you could fake it. pretend you were fine, put on a fake smile and laugh at unfunny jokes people made. busy yourself with small talk, classwork, and meaningless conversations to pull your mind away from the storm inside you, even if only for a bit.
but at night, there was nothing to distract you. you had yunjin, of course, but you were tired of dragging her into your heartbreak fueled rants and crying sessions.
so it was just you lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, yunjinâs soft breaths the only noise filling the room.
you felt like you were drowning in your emotions. the loss. the regret. the ache in your chest that hadnât gone away since that day.
it was like you could feel it physically. like a weight pressing down on you, constantly following you around throughout the whole day, but it was the worst at night. you were tired. all you wanted to do was sleep. but you couldnât. your mind was running at a million miles a minute, everything coming back to you.
when you finally fell asleep, it wasnât any better. in your dreams, you were back there- standing in front of him with a broken heart and crushed dreams. you always woke up before he could answer.
and you felt stupid. because this is exactly what you had been afraid of. this is why you had been so hesitant. because you knew how it would end- you knew what he was like. and still, you let yourself fall. you didnât even try to catch yourself, willingly stepping off the edge and enjoying the freefall until you hit the ground. hard.
this was why you had stuck to romance novels for so long. why you had lived vicariously through kat stratford, rose bukater, lara jean covey⊠the list could go on and on. because, as much as you longed to experience romance, you were scared. scared that real life wouldnât be like the book and movies. it wouldnât be like the songs, or the cheesy love-at-first-sight stories old couples would tell you. and it wasnât. it was painful, and things werenât always destined to work out.
even your playlists had shifted. whereas a week ago, your most played song was âbewitchedâ by laufey, a lovesick smile on your face as you laid in bed, singing along to the lyrics, you found yourself repeating âright where you left meâ by taylor swift lately. you felt like the song described your situation too perfectly. you couldnât decide if that was better or worse for coping. eventually you settled on the latter, because you would cry every time it came on, your breath hitching the second you heard the âfriends break up, friends get married.â
you just wanted everything to go back to normal. you wanted to go back to the day you met heeseung, walking to a different seat instead of sitting down next to him. you wanted to beg the professor to assign you with someone else. you wanted to never step foot in that fateful party that changed everything.
âââââ ââ ââââ
itâs quiet aside from the video playing from your phone.
youâre curled up in bed, a bowl of pretzels in your lap as you watch a video essay on youtube about fourth wall breaks. you had nothing else to do.
yunjin was spending the night at beomgyuâs. again. wonyoung had to study for an exam coming up. you were left alone, your phone being your only entertainment. sure, you couldâve gone out. but itâs 11pm. you just needed something to keep your mind occupied.
it usually doesnât work. but tonight, things are different. youâre happier tonight. things are easier. your mind doesnât keep drifting back to him.
you stretch, rolling your neck as the voice talks about deadpoolâs fourth wall breaks. itâs weirdly interesting. you forgot how entertaining youtube essays could be.
the peace is shattered by a knock on your door. the sound is sharp and unexpected, making you jump slightly as you look towards the door. you freeze for a second, before checking the time on your phone. 11:15pm. who would be here this late?
part of you thinks yunjin came back. but she has a key, so why wouldnât she just unlock the door?
you stand, slowly walking towards the door, yawning slightly as you near it. maybe itâs wonyoung. she couldâve finished studying and wanted to hang out.
but when you finally pull open the door, your breath catches in your throat.
there, standing on the other side, is heeseung.
you feel your stomach churn. he looks different. thereâs bags under his eyes, and his hair is messy, like heâs been running his hands through it. thereâs a look in his eyes that you can quite place, something youâre grown accustomed to. you can never truly tell what heâs thinking.
you stare at him, but you canât get any words out. his eyes are staring back into yours, and it feels like time stops. youâre frozen, unable to move. heâs here. standing in front of you.
you finally find your voice, forcing the words to leave your parted lips. âwhat are you doing here?â
your tone is sharper than intended, and part of you wishes you could take them back. but itâs too late. theyâre out there.
heeseung stands still, his body tense. his eyes flicker around, like heâs lost deep in thought. itâs overwhelming. he hasnât even said anything and you feel like heâs already said too much. you take a deep breath, your hand on the door as you get ready to close it. but heeseungâs fast. he reaches out, his fingers splaying across the door and halting your movements.
âwait. wait,â he pleads, his voice quiet, breathy. âjust let me explain, please. just- just let me in. i need to, fuck⊠i need to say something.â
you hesitate, your eyes searching his. your mind is telling you to shut the door in his face, crawl back in bed, and pretend this conversation never happened. but you donât. you canât. something about his expression, the way heâs standing there, eyes pleading with you to listen for once- it stops you.
so you open the door wider, letting him step inside. your heart feels like itâs beating out of your chest, averting your gaze from his as you step to the side.
he steps inside, and itâs like you can feel the shift in the room. you shut the door behind him, turning around to face him, and itâs like something cracks within him. he doesnât wait a second longer. he just starts talking, words spilling out of him like a dam, like heâs been holding them back for some time.
âi donât- i donât do relationships. i donât know how to do them. i donât know how to feel this way. wasnât supposed to feel this way,â he pauses for a moment, running a shaky hand through his hair. âi was fine before you. but now, everything has changed. iâm so fucking confused.â
you stand there, frozen, your stomach twisting at his words. it feels like youâve been hit by a truck. you donât know what to do, what to say, how to react. his voice rises slightly, and for the first time, you see his true feelings.
âyou- fuck, you ruined me.â
his words are softer than you expect. they lack the usual teasing. theyâre not sharp or mocking. theyâre just a quiet emission of something heâs been dealing with, something he doesnât know how to navigate. the pure emotion in his voice cuts through like a knife, hitting somewhere deep inside where all the sadness had piled up inside you.
âyou make me want things i donât even know how to want,â he continues, his voice quiet now, barely above a whisper. âi tried to deny it. i tried to push every feeling i had away. i couldnât admit it to myself- i was scared.â
he stops talking, sucking in a breath as he stares at you. his eyes search yours, like heâs trying to gauge your emotions. youâre not sure. you donât even know what youâre feeling right now.
youâre finally able to force a word out, your voice shaky and quiet, like youâre not even sure you want him to hear. âheeseungâŠâ
but he doesnât respond. he just stands there, his chest rising and falling with every shaky breath he takes. his eyes stay locked on yours, and his mouth parts like heâs going to say something, start speaking again. but instead, he runs a hand through his hair, letting out an incredulous laugh.
itâs not a happy laugh. itâs disbelieving, tinged with frustration and sadness, like he canât even comprehend the fact that heâs in this position right now, pouring his heart out to someone he hurt.
âfuck,â he mutters, shaking his head, his voice wavering. âi canât even focus at practice. coach keeps yelling at me, reprimanding me, but-â he pauses, his eyes landing on yours again. âi canât stop thinking about you. itâs screwing me up.â
you blink, the weight of his admission sinking in, making your eyes sting and a lump form in your throat. his voice is so raw, his words hitting you like a punch to the gut every time. his hand is shaky as he runs it over his face, shaking his head like heâs fighting something inside himself.
âi donât know whatâs happening to me,â he continues, his voice breathy and laced with emotion. âi canât stop wanting you. i donât know what to do with that. iâve never felt this for someone before.â
he steps forward slightly, and you can feel yourself tense up. thereâs an intensity in his eyes, raw and unfiltered. like heâs determined. itâs the most honest youâve ever seen him be, the first time youâve been able to tell what heâs feeling by looking at him. it almost knocks the breath out of you.
âi want⊠i want you to be mine, y/n,â he confesses, his voice full of sincerity. âi want to hold your hand, not just have our fingers brush. i want to kiss you, for no reason at all, but because i canât help it. i want you to be able to tell people iâm yours. i just, i want to be close to you all the time. iâve never experienced this before, and it scares the hell out of me. but losing you is worse. i canât keep pushing my feelings- and you- away when youâre all that i think about.â
you freeze, your breath hitching as his words sink in more and more. he wants you. he wants this. your heart is racing, and your breathing picks up just a bit.
heeseung takes another step closer, his voice barely above a whisper now as if heâs scared to say the words out loud.
âiâm so fucking scared, y/n. this is all new to me. i donât know how to do this. but i want to make this right. i want to be able to tell you what iâm feeling and what i want, just- please, donât walk away again.â
the desperation in his voice tears at you, and before you can stop yourself, your vision blurs. the pressure in your chest builds, and a shaky breath leaves you as you feel the dam break. tears spill from your eyes, hot and fast, all the emotions youâve been bottling up crashing down from the weight of his words.
heeseungâs eyes widen the second he sees your face shift, and in an instant, heâs there. his hands gently cup your face, his thumb softly wiping away every tear that falls. your breath hitches at his touch, a quiet sob leaving your lips.
âhey, hey, look at me,â he says softly, his hands guiding your face up carefully, like heâs afraid you might break. âi didnât mean to- fuck. donât cry, baby.â
you canât stop it. the tears are falling down faster that you can hold them back. heeseungâs thumbs continue to brush against your cheeks, trying to calm down the rush of emotions youâre experiencing. but itâs too much- the words, the emotions, the tenderness. itâs all so new, so different from what youâve been experiencing these past few days. your chest tightens, a mix of pain and relief swirling inside you, and before you can stop yourself, you press your head against his chest, your fingers gripping tightly onto his hoodie in a desperate attempt to steady yourself.
heeseung tenses up at the contact, his hands still cradling your face, albeit a bit awkward in this new positioning. but he doesnât pull away. he lets you lean against him, tears spilling from your eyes as both of you breath shakily, like youâre afraid this moment could disappear at any second.
for a few seconds, neither of you moves. the room is thick with tension, and the sounds of your sniffles and his uneven breathing. then slowly, cautiously, his hands finally slip down to rest at your back, gently- his touch so light you almost donât feel it- pulling you a bit closer to him. his movements are tentative, like heâs not sure if he even has the right to hold you, but heâs too afraid to let you go.
then, slowly, you pull away. but not far. just enough so you can tilt your head up, your eyes locking with his. and for a moment, it feels like the world stops. all his emotions are laid bare- his sincerity, his longing, his fear. and every emotion heâs feeling is mirrored in your gaze. youâre both scared, but youâre no longer hiding those feelings from each other. this is something new for both of you, but you know youâre ready to navigate it together.
before you can think too much about it, or second guess your thought process, youâre leaning in, pressing your lips against his. softly, tentatively at first. itâs different from every other kiss you shared. itâs not the rushed, messy kisses born from confusion and curiosity. no. itâs different. itâs slow, tender, filled with every unspoken word, every quiet confession thatâs stayed locked deep inside until now. all the feelings of longing that have finally surfaced.
itâs everything you both wanted but were too scared to ask for. his lips move against yours slowly, and the gentleness of the kiss contrasts everything that came before it. the rush of emotions is still there, but it's calm now, dissipating softly like the rain slowing down after a thunderstorm. itâs just the two of you, finally letting go, spilling your emotions out.
heeseungâs hand moves to the back of your neck, his touch gentle but firm, pulling you closer. you can feel the warmth of his breath against your lips, the soft press of his body against yours. itâs not like before. itâs real. and itâs yours.
when he finally pulls back, thereâs a moment of silence. neither of you say anything, but you donât have to. the air is thick with meaning. thereâs no need for words anymore. thereâs a silent understanding between the two of you.
a small, hesitant smile tugs at his lips, his hand moving from the back of your neck to cup your face. âi mean it,â he whispers softly, as though heâs trying to reassure both of you. his thumb brushes against your bottom lip, his eyes flickering to them before back up to your eyes. âiâm not going anywhere.â
you nod, a shaky breath leaving your lips as your eyes search his. âi know,â you whisper back, the words a promise exchanged between the two of you.
you lean back in, connecting your lips for the second time that night. the second they meet again, itâs different. the hesitation, the sadness, it all melts away, being replaced by something different. something neither of you can hold back anymore. your fingers dig deeper into the fabric of his hoodie, desperate for something to ground you in this moment. you feel heeseungâs hand move around to the back of your head again, fingers tangling slightly in your hair.
you pull away, just slightly. your lips are still hovering over his, and you whisper, so quiet youâre not even sure if he heard. âheeseungâŠâ
you donât even know what youâre asking for. you donât know why youâre saying his name. his breath hitches, but he doesnât pull away. you can feel the hand on your back tighten slightly, and he exhales softly, voice low. âi know.â
and then heâs kissing you again, more sure this time, more determined. he guides you backward, each step slow, until the back of your knees hit the edge of the bed. he doesnât rush you. he just holds you there, lips moving against yours, as if heâs waiting for you to stop him.
you donât.
he slowly eases you down on the bed, his hand on your back supporting you until your back collides with the bed. he follows you, until his body is hovering over yours. he finally pulls back, his weight braced on his forearm. his gaze flickers over your face, as if heâs memorizing every piece of you, trying to read your mind in this exact moment. itâs a look youâve never seen in his eyes before, and it makes your stomach do flips.
he raises one of his hands, his thumb brushing against your cheek. the softness of his touch sends a shiver down your spine, and you canât help the way you push your head into his touch. and then, he speaks quietly, almost like a vow. âlet me prove it to you.âyour breath hitches. your eyes widen slightly, and you feel like you canât move. you canât speak. you feel like these past two weeks heeseung has spilt you open, making you feel things no one else has ever done before, and now heâs in front of you, offering to do the same. and for the first time, it feels real. heeseung doesnât push. he just waits. because for the first time in a long time, this isnât a game to him. itâs not about winning, or getting the girl. itâs about you.
silence lingers between you, his words sinking into your mind. let me prove it to you.
your heart pounds against your ribs, and part of you is sure he can hear it. his thumb continues to trace slow, soothing circles against your cheek, and the gentleness of it, the want, the need you feel pushes you.
your fingers tighten in the fabric of his hoodie, exhaling a slow deep breath. you can feel the nerves pulsing through your body, but the warmth of his body above you, the emotions in his eyes, the softness of his touch, itâs enough. you tilt your chin up, pulling him down into another kiss.
he reacts immediately, his lips moving against yours in slow, careful kisses. he still doesnât rush you. his hand slips from your cheek to trail down your arm, fingertips skimming across your skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.
slowly, the kiss deepens, bit by bit. his tongue swipes across your bottom lip, and just like last time, you let him in. itâs still clumsy, but you let yourself relax under his touch, sighing against his lips. his hand finds your waist, his fingers tightening slightly like heâs trying to hold himself back, and slowly, his lips trail lowers. to the corner of your mouth, then your jaw, then the soft curve of your neck.
your breath hitches. his lips are moving slowly, his kisses soft and fleeting, like heâs testing the waters, lingering, waiting for any sign that this is too much. but you donât stop him. instead, you let your head roll back slightly against the pillow, granting him more access to your neck.
his kisses grow more intense at that, sucking a piece of your skin and pulling a gasp out of you. his fingers brush under the hem of your shirt, just barely slipping beneath the fabric, his fingertips pressing slightly on your stomach. it sends a shiver down your spine, and instinctively, your body tenses. not out of fear- but because itâs new.
this isnât like the last time this happened. itâs more full of emotion, more sure, like youâre dedicating yourself to him. like this time, youâre truly crossing a line that can never be undone.
heeseung notices immediately. he stills, his lips hovering over your skin, his warm breath against your neck sending a shiver through you. he stops moving his hand up, simply opting to run slow, lazy circles on your torso with his thumb. he pulls back just enough to look at you, his dark eyes searching your face, as if heâs trying to understand what you want. what you need.you swallow, his gaze making something churn inside you. your chest is rising and falling in quick, timid breaths, nerves rushing through you. the hesitation is there. the fear. but so is the anticipation. the want. the need to experience something new, to finally give in to what your body and heart have been desiring.
so you donât pull away. you donât stop him. instead, you push yourself up slightly, your lips hovering against his, and you whisper, âitâs okay.â
something in his gaze darkens, something unreadable passing through his expression. he holds your gaze for a second longer, like heâs giving you one last chance to change your mind. like heâs trying to make sure that youâre sure. but when you donât- when you reach up and curl your fingers around the back of his neck, pulling his lips fully against yours- his restraint snaps.his kisses are hungry, taking more and more from you. and you love it. his hand under your shirt moves again, fingers splaying across your ribs as he holds you there, his lips moving against yours. for the first time, neither of you are trying to hold back. you arch slightly, pushing your chest into his hand, assuring him he can go further.
and just like that his hand moves up more, cupping your breast over your bra and eliciting a gasp from your lips. your fingers curl in his hair, your chest rising and falling at the new sensation.
heeseung can feel his restraint slipping more and more by the second. the need to be all over you, to make you feel sensations youâve never felt before. but even through the haze, heâs careful. because this is you. and he knows this is a lot.
his lips place sloppy kisses against your neck, his fingers groping and massaging your breast, ripping gasps and sighs from your lips. itâs like each kiss, each touch is a silent question, waiting, asking for permission without saying the words.
and you give it to him. in the way your back arches, the way your hands tug at the strands of his hair, the gasps that leave your pretty lips as he explores places of you no one ever has before.
he exhales a shaky breath against your skin, and he pauses, resting his head against your shoulder. his hand pulls at the cup of your bra, teasing you- and himself. tempting both of you with whatâs about to happen. his body is tense, his breathing heavy, like heâs trying to control himself.
and then he lifts his head, his eyes dark and dazed as he looks at you. god, the way he looks at you. it makes your heart stutter, your stomach flip, it sends a rush of desire through you, your thighs attempting to close, rub together, ease any of the tension youâre feeling. but of course, like last time, you canât. not with heeseung resting between your legs.
his lips part slightly, like he wants to say something. but instead, he swallows hard, his eyes roaming across your frame. and before you can even process it, before you can allow yourself to feel self-conscious under his gaze- he moves.
his finger slides out from under your shirt, and his hands curl around the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head with one smooth motion. a gasp leaves your lips, and he tosses it aside, not caring where it lands. and then heâs back on you. his lips are pressing urgent, feverish kisses across your newly exposed skin.
his hands are everywhere, his lips are everywhere. he kisses you like he needs it. it leaves your head spinning, and your body feeling like itâs on fire.
âheeseung-â his name leaves your lips in a breathless plea, barely more than a whisper, feeling everything all at once. you feel him shudder against you, his lips pausing against your breast.
then, slowly, his hand slips behind your back, his fingers resting on your bra clasp. it sends a shiver through you, your heart stuttering at the feeling. his voice is low, filled with lust, and he raises his head just slightly, his eyes meeting yours. âcan i?â
and you nod. you donât think twice, simply pushing your back off the bed to give him easier access. and slowly, he pulls your bra off of you, leaving your top half completely exposed to him, showing him more than anyone else has ever seen.
âyouâre fucking beautiful,â he murmurs, before his lips are back on you, his lips immediately latching onto one of your nipples, his tongue flicking, his lips sucking lightly, sending pleasure coursing through your veins. his hand comes up to massage the other one, pulling a choked moan from your lips. the feeling is so new, so foreign, and you didnât know it could feel this good. you canât help the way you squirm under his touch, your head falling back as breathless sighs leave your lips.
your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging hard. and heeseung groans against your skin. a low, deep sound that vibrates through you, making your stomach clench and your thighs twitch, desperate to alleviate the need growing within you.
and slowly, he sits up, his eyes locked on yours. your chest rises and falls rapidly as you watch him, already missing the feeling of his mouth on you. but then. his fingers grab his hoodie, pulling it over his head.
something deep pools inside you at the sight of him. something that has you attempting to clench your thighs. your eyes take over his figure. the toned muscles, the sharp lines, his v-line, the way his sweatpants hang just a little too low on his hips. it makes your mouth water.
but you donât get to stare long. because his lips are back on you immediately. trailing over your chest before moving down slowly. his hands rub down your sides, mapping out every curve. his lips trail between your breasts, then down the center of your stomach. his kisses are slow and unhurried, making you feel dizzy. you body is so sensitive to every little thing he does. your breath catches as he gets lower, and lower, and lower- until he stops.
his lips rest right above the waistband of your sweatpants, his hot breath against your skin making you shudder. he looks up at you, his eyes dark, filled with lust, and you can feel yourself clench around nothing.
his fingers toy with the waistband of your sweats, simply watching you. as if heâs asking for permission without saying a word. and you give it to him. you push your hips off the bed slightly, slow and needy, your eyes full of desire as you stare at him, a shaky exhale leaving your lips.
âfuck,â heeseung whispers against your skin, a shiver running through you. you feel the way his grip on your waistband tightens, his mouth so tantalizingly close to where you need him.
and then his lips part, a soft breath leaving his lips as he finally speaks, his voice low and dark. âare you sure?â
you nod, a soft whimper leaving your lips as you wriggle your hips, your eyes pleading with him. he only breathes a laugh against your skin, the sound quiet and breathless, his lips pressing a soft kiss against your skin, a shaky breath leaving your lips as the feeling sends a shiver down your spine.
âwords, baby,â he whispers out, his voice low and teasing, but thereâs an edge to it that makes your stomach twist and your core clench around nothing.
you donât even know if you can speak. everything is so overwhelming in the best way possible, your eyes flickering all over his face as he just watches you with a smirk. you push your hips up again, your breath coming out desperate and breathy as you whisper. âheeseung, please.â
thatâs all it takes for him. he smiles, pressing another kiss to your skin before his fingers dip under your waistband, tugging your sweats and underwear down in one go. his fingers tug slowly, revealing more and more by the second. you feel more exposed, suddenly aware of how youâre now completely naked in front of heeseung. but you trust him.
his eyes stay on yours the entire time, until he finally gets your pants off your legs completely, tossing them somewhere in the room. only then, does his gaze drop down, and you can see the way his eyes darken as he zeroes in on you.
you go to close your legs, suddenly self aware, but he grips your thighs before you get the chance, a soft gasp leaving your lips as he looks back up at you. âkeep these open for me, hm?â
his thumbs rub slow, absentminded circles against your skin as he just watches you. like heâs committing the sight of you laid out bare beneath him to his memory. but itâs torturous for you.a whimper catches in your throat as your hands grip at the sheets, your hips attempting to move. âheeseung-â
he pushes your hips down, keeping you in place as he shakes his head. âyouâre so needy, baby.â slowly, his fingers trail up your inner thighs, so close to where you need him, but never quite touching you, never giving you what you so desperately need. you whine, shifting your hips up, trying to feel something, but he just pushes your thighs down again. âpatience,â he murmurs, the corner of his lips quirking up. âlet me take my time with you.â
and slowly, so slowly, he runs a finger along your slick folds, the sensation making a gasp slip from your lips. your thighs twitch, and he moves his finger up, pressing down on your clit and pulling a soft moan from you.
âoh- heeseung,â you gasp out, your eyes closing and opening again as your chest rises and falls rapidly, growing accustomed to the feeling of someone else controlling your pleasure. he hums, before moving his finger back down, finally inserting a finger inside you. a moan slips past your lips, your walls fluttering around him.
âshit, baby,â he exhales, a breathy laugh leaving him as he looks up at your face before back down at your cunt. âyouâre so tight.â
he curls his finger, stretching you open as you gasp and whine, your hands tightening in the sheets as he pushes another finger inside your dripping cunt. you let out a shaky breath, your head rolling back against the pillow.
and then his mouth is on you. a choked moan rips from your throat as his mouth sucks on your clit, the new feeling making your eyes shoot open as your hands fly from the sheets to his hair.
âheeseung- fuck-â you gasp out, your hips attempting to move, but he uses his free hand to press down on your stomach, forcing you to stay still. to take it. itâs too much too fast. you can feel the knot in your stomach tightening, every suck and press pushing you closer to the edge.
your fingers tighten in his hair, and heeseung groans against you, sending a delicious vibration through you. your thighs shake as you gasp, teetering right on the edge.
âheeseung,â you moan out, your voice shaky and strained, âgonna- i-â
you can barely get the words out before his lips curve into a smirk against your skin. he hums, the feeling making you squirm before he mutters, âalready?â
and then his mouth is back on you. his fingers are moving faster, his mouth sucking harder, his tongue working over your clit in slow circles. it's too much. your body tenses up and finally, the coil snaps.
a broken moan spills from your throat as your back arches off the bed, your body trembling as you come undone. you can feel his arm press down harder, holding your bottom half still as you gasp, unable to do anything but take it.
he doesnât stop. at least, not immediately. he works you through it, his tongue lapping up every drop of your release, his fingers still moving and drawing out your pleasure. only when itâs too much, a whine slipping past your lips as your hands tug at his hair, does he stop.
he pulls back, the bottom half of his face glistening with your slick, his eyes dark as he meets yours- and somehow, you want more all over again.
âstill with me, princess?â his voice is teasing, and he pushes himself up until heâs hovering over you. âor did i fuck you dumb already?â
you can barely answer, the aftershocks of your orgasm still coursing through you. his lips hover above yours, a small smile on his lips before he presses them against yours. you can taste yourself against his lips, slightly bitter.
your hips attempt to close, but heâs already settled himself between your legs, and you can feel him smirk against your lips as he grinds his hips just enough for you to feel him. it makes you gasp against his lips, desire coursing through you again. you can feel how hard he is, the outline of his cock pressing against your inner thigh through his sweats.
âyou want this just as much as i do, donât you?â he mumbles against your lips, his voice a low rasp. you can only nod, your breath catching in your throat as he rolls his hips again.
âthink you can take me, baby?â he smirks, one of his hands sliding down your body to pull your legs open further, pressing his clothed cock right against your core and grinding down, forcing a quiet moan from you.
âplease,â you whine out, your eyes fluttering shut as your mouth falls open in a silent gasp.
âyeah? want me inside you? stretching you out, filling you up for the first time?â he whispers against your lips, pressing his hips harder against yours as he lets out a strained breath.
your breath hitches at the lewd words leaving his lips, but your cunt clenches around nothing. you finally crack, words spilling from your lips. âyes- please⊠want you,â you murmur, your eyes pleading with him, full of desire.
his smirk deepens, and he presses a final kiss to your lips before pushing himself up. his fingers dig into the waistband of his sweats, and in one fluid motion, he pulls them down along with his boxers. his cock slaps against his stomach, his tip angry and leaking, and your eyes widen at the sight.
how the fuck was that going to fit inside you?
he stroked himself a few times, huffing out a laugh at your surprised expression. âsee something you like?â he asks, a teasing tone to his voice.
you roll your eyes with a small smile, but you canât hide the desire in your expression. the way your cunt clenches around nothing as your eyes flicker back down to where his cock strands.
he leans down, hovering over you as he pulls one of your legs open, exposing you to himself further. his cock brushes against your inner thigh, his tip leaking against your skin and causing you to shudder.
âis it⊠gonna hurt?â you ask quietly, almost feeling stupid for asking such a question. but he doesnât judge you. his expression shifts from one of amusement to something more soft, his hand on your thigh rubbing gentle circles as he smiles at you.
âit might sting a little bit,â he whispers back, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. âbut just relax for me, alright? iâll take care of you.â
you nod, your voice breathless as you reply. âokay.â
your pulse races as his cock brushes against your folds, the reality of everything setting in. youâre about to lose your virginity. it makes a mix of anxiety and adrenaline rush through you, a mewl leaving you at the feeling.
âthatâs my girl,â he whispers, his hand leaving your thigh to grab his cock, rubbing himself up and down your folds, coating himself in your juices and drawing quiet moans from your lips, your hips pushing up just slightly, chasing the sensation.
finally, he positions himself at your entrance, his hips pushing forward as he enters you. the stretch makes your breath catch in your throat. it stings. itâs overwhelming. itâs such a new feeling, sending a shiver down your spine as your cunt clenches around him, drawing a groan from his lips.
âfuck,â you breathe out, your voice shaky and quiet, fading into a moan as your eyes clench shut. he pauses for a moment, letting you adjust to the stretch as he presses a kiss to the corner of your lips.
âyouâre doing so good for me, baby,â he murmurs, his hand sliding to your cunt, rubbing soft circles on your clit and ripping a gasp from you. âjust breathe for me.â
it distracts you from the burning stretch, dulling the pain the slightest bit as your cunt clenches around him, his hips starting to move again. a soft, shaky breath leaves your lips, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders as he fills you completely.
âfeel good, princess?â he murmurs against your lips, his voice soft as his thumb continues to rub circles against your clit, a little faster now. you nod, words caught in your throat as the pleasure begins to mix with the pain, giving way to a sensation- a fullness- youâve never felt before.
finally, he bottoms out. you can fill every ridge and vein, your cunt pulsing around him as it struggles to accommodate the stretch. his thumb never stops circling your clit, easing you into full pleasure. he doesnât move, simply resting inside you and letting you adjust to the new feeling.
and slowly, the pain fades. replaced by pleasure, a want- a need- for more. your hips move slightly, a gasped moan slipping past your lips at the pleasure that rushes through you. âplease,â you whimper, your fingers digging into his shoulders as your eyes flutter open, meeting his. âmoveâŠâ
slowly, carefully, he pulls out slightly, dragging out of you before pushing back in, pulling a soft moan from your lips. every roll of his hips presses him further inside you, making your mind hazy as you adjust to the fullness.
âhee,â you whimper out, your head rolling back as the feeling grows more pleasurable, sending your head spiraling with every thrust. his thumb still circles your clit, drinking in every reaction you give him.
âyeah, baby?â he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, making you focus on him for a second. âstill doing good?â
you nod, your breath getting caught in your throat as he hits a particularly deep spot. it feels good. it feels so good. but you want more. you need more. âyeah,â you whisper. âfeels good, but-â
you hesitate, but you donât need to finish. you catch the way heeseungâs eyes darken immediately, his movements stilling for just a second, like heâs processing your words, before heâs moving again.
âyou want more, princess?â his voice is lower now, darker. hungrier. it makes you clench around him, a hiss leaving his lips, the corner of his lips quirking up.
you nod frantically, your fingers gripping his shoulders as his hand leaves your clit to find purchase on your waist. âplease,â you gasp out. âi need-â
you donât get to finish. a moan spills from your throat as he pulls out, only to slam back in. his careful, slow, pace is gone in an instant, replaced by something deeper. something intoxicating. your fingers claw at his shoulders, his arms, his back, anything you can to ground yourself as his thrusts speed up.
âfuck,â he grits out, his head dropping to your shoulder as his hips snap forward again, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room. âknew youâd take me so well, baby.â
itâs too much. the pleasure builds, your moans getting louder. you canât even control the noises leaving your mouth, too lost in the pleasure. you donât even register how loud youâre getting until his hand clamps over your mouth.
your eyes fly open, seeing him hovering over you now, his gaze half-lidded and dark. his lips are parted, uneven breaths leaving him as his hips continue to ram into you.âshh, princess,â he rasps, his thumb brushing against your cheek as he hits a particularly deep spot, making you moan out against his mouth. âonly i get to hear those pretty sounds, yeah?â
a muffled whimper leaves your mouth, your walls fluttering around him as you process his words. his pace never slows, pushing your limits, testing just how much you can really take. and you love it.
âbet youâd sound so pretty if you could really let go,â he murmurs, his dark eyes staring into yours. his free hand trails down, resting on your stomach. your eyebrows furrow slightly, just before he presses down. your eyes roll back, a loud moan escaping your mouth and being concealed by his palm. it makes you feel him, all of him. stretching you. filling you completely.
âyou feel that, baby?â his fingers press harder, drawing another strangled moan from your lips as your eyes clench shut. âso fucking deep inside you. you take me so well, fuck-â
your body responds before you know what youâre doing. your hips roll up to meet his, desperate for more of the pleasure youâre experiencing. and heeseung loses it.
âcan you be quiet for me, princess?â he whispers. and you nod, hazy, dazed. he smirks, pressing harder on your stomach and pulling a broken moan from your lips as your body jolts beneath him.
he slowly removes his hand from your mouth, sliding it down your body to grab your thigh, spreading you wider for him. a choked whimper leaves your lips, your mouth clenched shut as you try your hardest to hold your sounds in. but it feels too good. tears gather in your lashes, your body arching into his.
his cock twitches inside you, a dark grin on his face as he tilts his head at you. âwhatâs wrong, baby?â his voice is mocking, teasing, cruel. and it only drives you crazier. a tear slips down your cheek, your cunt clenching around him. you donât trust your voice- hell, you donât even know if you can speak right now.âtoo much?â he asks, but he doesnât stop. if anything, he pushes deeper. you shake your head frantically, a broken sob leaving your lips as more tears spill down your cheeks. he sits back on his heels, the new angle pushing him deeper as a choked moan slips past your lips, your own hand coming up to cover your mouth.
he only chuckles, his voice dripping with amusement- and something darker- as he watches you unravel beneath him. âfeels good, doesnât it?â
itâs too much. itâs all too much. the coil in your stomach is winding tight, threatening to pull you over the edge at any second. and heeseung notices. he notices how your thighs began to shake, your moans turning into breathy, desperate whimpers, the way you clench around him.
âclose?â is all he asks, his eyes dark and lidded as he watches you. your hand slides from the sheet to his arm, desperate to find something to ground yourself as you teeter on the edge.
âhee-â you manage to gasp out, your voice breaking off into a moan as tears slide down your cheeks. he groans at the way you clench around him, his hand finding your clit again, rubbing tight, merciless circles, forcing you closer to the edge. and itâs too much. it builds so fast it makes your head spin. hell, you donât even feel like youâre real at this point.âcome for me, princess,â he groans out, thrusting particularly deep inside you. âlet go.âyour orgasm rips through you, your back arching off the bed as you cry out, a loud, broken moan barely muffled by your hand. your vision goes white, your body locking up as the strongest orgasm youâve ever had takes over your body. but he doesnât stop. his pace doesnât falter for a second, fucking you through your high, testing your limits as the pleasure shifts into something more intense. your body can barely keep up. youâre sobbing, gasping, your body stuck between pushing him away and pulling him closer.
âjust a bit longer, baby,â he groans, his hand moving from your clit to your waist, holding you still as his thrusts turn erratic. your eyes roll back, your poor body unable to keep up with the pleasure youâre feeling.
and then, a low guttural moan escapes heeseungâs lips, his hips pressing as hard as they can against yours as he finally spills inside you. the sensation of being filled has you gasping, clenching around him as his body trembles with his orgasm.
slowly, he lowers himself down, pressing soft kisses to your lips to ease you back to reality, your dazed eyes meeting his as ragged breaths escape your lips. youâre wrecked.
âyou did so good for me, princess,â he murmurs, his voice breathless as his lips trail soft kisses down your jaw, his warm hands soothing over your trembling thighs, slowly pulling you back down to earth.
you canât even find the words to speak. you only nod, your hand slowly lifting to tangle in his hair, just resting there. he chuckles, leaning up to look at you. a soft smile forms on his lips, his thumbs brushing the tears off of your cheeks. âyou okay?â
you nod again, your voice wrecked, barely more than a whisper. âyeah.â
he doesnât say anything, simply watching you. his gaze is so soft, his touch featherlight against your skin. his hips pull back slowly, making you gasp at the sensitivity it sends through you.
and then heâs pulling out, his hands moving down to your hips as he sits back on his heels. your hips shift, adjusting to the empty feeling, a shiver running through you when you feel his cum dripping out of you.
heeseung pauses, his eyes fixed on the sight, hands gripping your hips tighter as he breathes out, âfuckâŠâ
your face heats up, self-consciousness taking over when it finally sets in that youâre completely exposed in front of him. your legs attempt to close, a whine leaving your lips- but heeseungâs faster. his hands grip your thighs, keeping you held open as a smile forms on his lips.
âdonât get all shy on me now, baby,â his voice is quiet, his eyes flickering up to yours as you avert your gaze. your hips shift, another soft, embarrassed noise leaving you, but he simply laughs under his breath. âyou were just moaning for me a few minutes ago.â
âheeseung,â you mumble, dragging out his name as you continue to move beneath him, trying to pull your thighs out of his grasp. your hands attempt to bat his away halfheartedly, but youâre too exhausted to actually push him, watching the way he pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth with a smile while watching your struggle.
he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your stomach that has your breath catching, your hands halting their movements. âyou were so good for me. look at you,â he mumbles, his eyes dragging over your body slowly, âall fucked out and pretty.â
you let out a noise of protest, slapping at his shoulder before your hands come up to cover your face, groaning against your hands.
âokay,â he laughs, finally letting go of your legs. âiâll stop. donât want you crying again.â
you huff, turning your head to hide your face in the pillow, but a smile tugs at your lips. âyouâre the worst.â
he only laughs again, slipping off the bed, and you hear his footsteps moving away from the bed. âmhm. didnât hear you complaining earlier.â
you let out a dramatic groan, completely turning your body away from him, choosing not to answer this time.
when he finally returns, he sits down on the bed, one hand gently pulling your leg up, exposing you to him again.
âheeseung,â you whine, lifting your head to look at him. his eyes flicker up to yours, before looking down again, the wet rag making contact with your legs and making you gasp, everything still so sensitive.
ârelax,â he whispers, his touch gentle, moving ever so carefully over the parts that make you flinch, your legs shifting with every pass.
you nod into the pillow, finally letting your body relax again as your eyes flutter shut, exhaustion slowly taking over your body.
âthere we go,â he murmurs, tossing the rag aside and settling in bed besides you, pulling the covers over the both of you. his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you closer to him, your body instantly relaxing into his.
his fingers rake through your hair, slow and comforting, making you let out a soft sigh, curling further into him.
âyou good?â he whispers again, like he always have to make sure youâre alright.
âyeah,â you you yawn, shifting and closing your eyes. âtired.â
you hear a soft, breathy laugh leaving his lips, before he presses a kiss to the top of your head, his fingers resuming their movements in your hair.
âgo to sleep, y/n.â
you nod, letting the beating of heeseungâs heart in your ear guide you into a slumber as sleep lulls you away.
âââââ ââ ââââ
âone iced coffee, please,â you smile, holding out a ten-dollar bill to the cashier in front of you.
she gives you a look, but smiles back, taking the cash anyway. âno hot chocolate today?â
you wave your hand dismissively, biting back a giddy smile. âoh, itâs not for me.â
she raises an eyebrow but doesnât push, simply nodding and punching in your order. âalright, then. weâll have that out soon.â
you rock back and forth on your feet, wonyoung and yunjin waiting at a table behind you.
once your order is out, youâre walking back to the girls with a bit more pep in your step, holding the cup up to signal youâre ready to leave.
you begin to walk out the door, a giddy smile on your lips as you look down at the coffee, before back up- completely oblivious to the look wonyoung and yunjin share.
âso, whyâd you get an iced coffee?â yunjin asks, tilting her head as she looks at the drink in your hand.
âoh, just for someone,â you smile, shrugging lightly as you continue to walk.
âyou look too happy,â wonyoung teases you, poking your cheek as she watches the smile on your face grow larger, âwhat happened?â
ânothing, guys!â you laugh, pushing wonyoungâs hand away.
you continue to walk, making a beeline for the gym. you donât miss the confused looks they send you as you speed up slightly.
âokay, seriously, where are we going?â wonyoung asks, speeding up slightly as she picks up on the direction youâre headed.
âthe gym? the basketball team is in there right now,â yunjin adds, scrunching her eyebrows. ây/n. y/n? that means heeseung is in there! hello?â
you donât even hesitate when you open the gym doors, the two girls trailing behind you, clearly confused.
ây/n. why are we in here?â wonyoung hisses, grabbing your arm as the sound of squeaking shoes and a basketball hitting the floor fills the air.
and then, all the noises slow. the guys spare a glance at you, before doing a double take once they recognize you. because heeseung has talked about you. and theyâve seen you with him.
but the moment heeseung sees you, his focused expression shifts. his sharp gaze softens, a smile forming on his face as his feet slow to a stop. he starts moving, jogging over slowly. his shirt is slightly damp, his breathing slightly heavy.
âhi, pretty girl,â he smiles, his gaze warmer.
wonyoungâs grip on your arm loosens, and you can see her jaw drop from the corner of your eye.
âhi,â you reply, holding out the coffee, âi brought you coffee.â
he grins, taking the cup and tilting his head. âreally? i thought you hated iced coffee.â
you bite back a laugh, shaking your head lightly before shrugging. âyou donât.â
you watch as his smile shifts into something else. something in his eyes that you canât process, but heâs looking at you like you placed the stars in the sky. it makes your stomach flip, a blush forming on your cheeks.
his hand slips around your waist, tugging you closer as he presses a soft, lingering kiss to your lips.
your hand instinctively grabs onto his jersey, tugging him slightly closer, your lips forming into a smile against his.
âhello?â you hear yunjin ask, a few guys behind you laughing.
âwhat?â you ask, pulling back from heeseungâs lips, tilting your head with a small smile. âam i not allowed to come say hi to my boyfriend?â
silence.
until wonyoung squeals, practically yanking yunjin towards her. âi called it!â
even heeseung himself seems a bit thrown off guard, his eyes widening a bit before he pulls himself together, a smug grin pulling at the corner of his lips.
âoh?â he murmurs, leaning in just enough for you to hear. âsay that again?â
âdamn, y/n,â jake laughs, stepping up besides the two of you and clapping heeseung on the back. âyou managed to lock the playboy down.â
âso,â jake continues, nodding at the drink in your hand with a shit-eating grin, âcare to bring me one of those next time?â
you donât even get to open your mouth before heeseung is speaking. âno.â
jake blinks. âi was talking to-â
âstill no.â
he throws his hands up, turning on his heel and walking away, grumbling out, âforget i asked.â
you roll your eyes, suppressing a smile as you look back at heeseung, who simply shrugs at you. heâs insufferable.
and heâs yours.Â
AFTER FIGHTING FOR THREE DAYS... I GOT IT TO WORK. sorry about the weird formatting at some points, it's the only way i was able to fit this whole fic into one post ^^! also,, did not realize how much i wrote "and then" until i was editing this god damn girl stop sing those words for one second... hope you guys enjoyed !!!!
With his channel, I just love it, love whatever mark does actually.
Mark is so spider man 2000âs coded
I literally love mark, thatâs the post
But I like what mark is doing for his album no soloist (to my knowledge) has done something like this, I like how even though we the fans see this heâs also like letting us into his life like this, and with his channel, he (to me) is just a YouTuber, a vlogger, a person, different from the idol life he lives. I hope thatâs not weird and makes sense, but like these are videos youâll send your friends when you want to show off something you got or a haul of stuff you got.