Life only gets better.

Starting my new job, it has been 5 months in and I get bad anxiety the night before. I get sweats and I cannot sleep. Maybe its the nerves, definitely the nerves of many things. More of the unknown of what my day is going to be like. It just terrifies me. I hate the feeling of the pre-shift I get. Especially knowing how understaffed it is. I just wanted to write it somewhere about how i’m feeling. It’s terrible. I hate feeling lonely and alone during it too. 

It does get better. I am so glad with how confident you have become. You know more than you think! You don't give enough credit. You still don't. I am proud of you. I know you will develop more. You were 5 months in and now you're 4 years in!

You've been in charged so many times and you have done it with confidence. You're getting a little tired. Maybe bored of the place and wanting to find something new? You blame it on the awful bad shifts and the awful support you get. But the days are more good than bad. It's a mix of both.

I am not going to lie. You still get those awful panic attacks that you feel. Less now. But you've gotten strong. More mature. I know you do your best.

It's only up from here. You've achieved so much.

Remember to be kind to yourself.

have you eaten today?

did you take any meds you need?

how about hydration?

maybe a nap if you need one

you are awesome

You don’t have to stress over it.