my lucifer is lonely

This moment was exactly what you pictured when your friends first proposed the idea of an exciting getaway out of the city. You remember telling them that you wanted to make a bonfire on the first day of the trip, wanting to begin your summer break like it was some kind of coming-of-age movie; and now, here you were, feeling the stress from past assignments and projects leaving your body with every passing minute.

But, although you were thoroughly enjoying yourself, there was a certain feeling you just couldn't shake. It was a heavy feeling, one that you felt deep within your gut, simmering and simmering. You weren't sure how to describe it in the moment, but whatever it was, it was persistent.

You didn't realize it, but you had fallen quiet at the bonfire, while everyone else was still chatting away. Jane and Ava were playfully arguing about something—you were so zoned out that you weren't even aware of the topic of conversation. Billie, on the other hand, was moreso watching the silly argument unfold rather than participating, her shoulders shaking as she laughed gleefully at their antics. When you looked at Billie, that feeling—the one that felt like a coil, steadily growing tighter—had grown stronger, especially when you payed close attention to the way she threw her head back when she was laughing extra hard, or at her smile, which was somehow brighter than the moon in the sky and the fire in front of you altogether. Her pretty, full lips were glossy, and you had no doubt in your mind that it was her beloved Aquaphor that she carried with her everywhere.

Your chest felt tighter. How come every time you gazed at her lately, you felt some kind of a pull? You certaintly didn't always feel like this. Maybe you just missed her; after all, when last semester got rough, you weren't hanging out with her much, as you chose to focus on your studies and ending the semester with a bang. Yeah, that was why.

You only came to the realization that you were full-on staring at your best friend's lips until you heard her voice.

"Hey, you good? You're kinda quiet." Billie asked you softly, grinning at you. You shifted in your seat, immediately tearing your eyes away from her and deciding to focus intently on the fire in front of you. You cleared your throat and took a big gulp of your lemonade before responding.

"Uh, yeah…" You muttered after swallowing, hoping your voice didn't sound too hesitant to her. "Just a little tired, I guess." You said. It wasn't entirely a lie; you were beginning to feel a little sleepy. It was a long day, after all, one mostly spent on the road.

Billie raised an eyebrow, seemingly not too convinced with your answer, but thankfully for you, she didn't pry. Instead, she gently caressed your arm, the affectionate action coming to her completely subconsciously. "Yeah, me too." She replied with a low chuckle, deep blue eyes still boring into you, even while you were turned away.

While Billie was gazing at you, she just barely noticed something on your face; specifically, on the tiny corner of your lips. It was a smudge of chocolate, from the s'mores that you all shared earlier and made sticky messes with. She giggled to herself, and without even thinking, she reached over the armrest of her chair and wiped it away with her thumb.

The sudden gesture got you to look at her again, surprise coloring your features. You didn't make any moves to stop her, though, letting her continue to wipe the smudge away until it was clean.

"Sorry," Billie said with a meek smile. "It was just chocolate. From earlier."

You nodded, trying (and failing) to ignore the way your cheeks warmed at the simple action. Billie only made matters worse for you when you saw her stick her thumb in her mouth, licking away the chocolate that was just on your face. Before you could even stop yourself, you found your eyes trailing back to her lips, watching as her tongue licked away any excess chocolate, swirling around her thumb.

This time, there was no ignoring the way your heart rate spiked. Your own bottom lip was pulled between your teeth as gazed at her, and for a split second, you could have sworn her eyes glanced at your mouth as well. It was dark, and you were growing tired, so your eyes easily could've been playing tricks on you. But then, you saw her lean in, and that you were sure you didn't imagine.

She still had a light smirk resting on her face as she maintained eye contact with you, her eyes undoubtedly lowering toward your mouth a second time.

You froze. You couldn't move, couldn't speak. You were afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

Billie had opened her mouth to say something, but before any words could come out, Ava had playfully shouted:

"Last one back inside is a rotten egg!"

Billie quickly pulled away, her attention being caught by the two sisters dashing back toward the cabin, chuckling the entire way there.

When Billie looked back at you, you noticed a tinge of redness in her cheeks as she shyly tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear.

"We should rest. Big day tomorrow." She said, a hint of excitement in her tired voice.

You downed the rest of your lemonade in one big gulp. When you were finished, you were the first to stand up, looking down at Billie who was still seated with a friendly smile, trying to conceal the panic you were feeling from just moments ago.

"Don't be a rotten egg," You spoke, starting the trek back to the cabin. Billie just laughed at that, putting out the fire before following suit.

You didn't have a very restful sleep. You couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in front of that fire. Or rather, what could have happened, had Ava not interrupted.

You stored the memory away for some other time, not wanting to dwell on it.

STARGAZING

For most people, 9 P.M. was a time for winding down; but with your three chaotic friends, there was no winding down in sight, even with the sun long having dipped below the horizon.

Jane and Ava both decided to work on cooking dinner, with you and Billie as spectators. It was supposed to be a simple pasta dish, but Jane insisted on making the sauce from scratch. But frankly, not much was getting done, as Jane, Ava, and Billie were far to preoccupied with the music blaring from the bluetooth speaker. You watched from your seat at the kitchen island as Billie used a large wooden spoon as her own personal microphone, with Jane and Ava acting as background singers, and you were pretending to be their very engaged audience member. You absolutely couldn't deny that the three of them sounded amazing together, harmonizing perfectly, their voices blending together with ease. In another universe, you could genuinely imagine them on a big stage together instead of small, humble kitchen.

Eventually, the laughter and the performances came to an end, and after restarting the recipe at least three times, dinner was finally being made. Jane and Ava returned to focusing on the pasta noodles and homemade sauce (with a salad on the side, of course), and Billie occupied herself with playing on her Switch, seated on the couch as episodes of The Office played softly in the background.

It was quiet; but not an awkward quiet. It was tranquil, the sound of sauce simmering away on the stove and romaine lettuce being tossed filling the kitchen. You glanced at Billie, who was very much in her whole little world, eyebrows furrowed as she focused intently on whatever game she was currently playing. With Billie lost in concentration, you took that time to let your gaze linger a little, admiring how much she looked like the epitome of softness in her cozy sweatpants and oversized band tee. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, but some stubborn strands of dark hair still fell in front of her face, and you had the urge to go over there and tuck them behind her ear while she played.

In an attempt to keep your mind from thinking up any other crazy things, you turned your attention back to Jane and Ava. Jane was currently putting some pre-made breadsticks in the oven.

"You guys need help with anything?" You asked, feeling the urge to make yourself useful, as you were the only one not occupied with anything at the moment.

"Nah, we got this!" Ava said, keeping her eyes on the pot of sauce, stirring it slowly. "Thanks, though."

You nodded. "Of course…"

As you trailed off, your gaze then wandered out the tall windows, taking in the darkness of the outside. Impulsively, you felt an itch to get some fresh air.

"I'm gonna go outside. I'll be back in when it's time to eat." You said, standing up from your seat at the island. Jane just gave you a thumbs up, and Ava muttered a quick "K!" as she picked up her phone, probably to put some music back on.

You gave Billie a quick glance. You noticed that she was already looking at you. You just gave her a lopsided smile before sliding on some slip-ons and heading out, ignoring the way your heart jumped at any small amount of attention she gave you.

When you made it outside, the first thing that hit was the cool breeze. You were wearing a hoodie and some pajama pants, though, so you weren't too terribly cold. The delicious smell of pasta and breadsticks was quickly replaced with the smell of nature, the aroma coming from the dirt and the surrounding vegetation no less pleasant.

Immediately, you also noticed that there were many stars out tonight, shining beautifully from their place in the sky. You grabbed a blanket that had accidentally been left out on a chair on the porch and laid it down on a patch of land a little bit further out from the house, deciding to lay flat on your back, so you could look up directly at the night sky.

You allowed yourself to get completely lost in the stars, admiring the brightness of each of them, their unique sizes. It was like staring at an endless abyss, but rather than being terrifying, it was actually quite comforting. If anything, it reminded you of just how beautiful the vastness of the universe was.

"Want company?"

Suddenly, you heard Billie's voice behind you, and even without looking at her you could hear the smirk in her voice. You slowly sat up, turning around to be met with Billie, standing there expectedly, her hair removed from its ponytail and framing her face in pretty waves.

"I always want company." You replied with a smile, scooting over to make space for Billie to lay next you.

She was quick to do just that, getting herself comfortable atop the blanket. The two of you laid back down together, so close your shoulders were touching. You could just faintly make out Billie's perfume amongst the smell of the grass and leaves around you.

"Were you napping out here?" Billie inquired, half-serious, half-joking. You chuckled, absentmindedly fiddling with the fabric of the blanket beneath you as you continued gazing up at the sky.

"No," You replied. "Just… stargazing."

"I see," Billie commented. She let out a sigh, a smile lingering on her face as her eyes tried to scan the hundreds of stars above her all at once. "It's beautiful out here." Her voice came out soft, barely above a whisper.

"Yeah." You quietly agreed.

For a few minutes, there was a comfortable silence that settled between the two of you. It was moments like these that you enjoyed with Billie the most; moments where the two of you were just occupying the same space. No words were even needed, nor was there ever an obligation to do anything with the other; just existing together, breathing the same air, was meaningful enough to you. This moment in particular—lying next to Billie, her perfume washing you in sense of comfort, the night sky enveloping you both in a formless embrace—was a moment you were sure to remember, even long after the trip was over.

"Y'know," Billie began, pulling you out of the recesses of your mind. "I can actually identify some constellations."

You whipped your head over to look at her, both eyebrows raising in surprise and your eyes widening with curiosity. "Really?"

Billie's contagious cackles filled the air almost immediately. "Nope. Kidding."

At that, you rolled your eyes, lightly swatting at her. "You're annoying." You stated, but there was no genuine harshness in your tone.

Billie turned her head to meet your gaze. "You love it." She spoke, a teasing smile lighting up her features.

You simply chuckled in response, knowing full well that what Billie had said was entirely true.

You both were just staring at each other now, the stars just barely illuminating your faces. At some point, you rolled over on your side, still facing Billie, and Billie did the same, leaving the two of you so close to one another that your noses could brush against each other's if either one of you just slightly scooted forward. You could even just faintly feel Billie's breath fan across your face, getting the smallest hint of the mint gum she was chewing a while ago.

In the quietness of this moment, a thought had reoccurred to you.

"Hey, so…" You tucked an arm underneath your head for support as you continued speaking. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." Billie replied, the answer coming out of her so swiftly and with so much sincerity in her tone it nearly made your heart skip a beat.

"It's about… last night. During the bonfire. It seemed like you were going to tell me something before Ava interrupted. What… what was it?"

Billie had suddenly shifted, her expression morphing from warm into something a bit more unreadable. Not cold, or distant by any means, just… unreadable.

"Oh, I was just, uh…" She trailed off, a contemplative glint in her eyes as she chose her next words carefully. "I was just about to ask you if you wanted to go back inside, since you had told me you were tired." Billie explained slowly, almost as if she wasn't even sure of the response she was giving you. She was sporting a somewhat awkward grin, different from her usual playful and confident ones. There was no doubt some kind of change in atmosphere now, but you couldn't pinpoint what had caused it.

Upon hearing Billie's reply, you couldn't help but feel a small but sharp pang of sadness pierce you. With the way she had glanced at your lips (you remember the moment vividly, as it never left your mind for the entire day), you were hoping that maybe she had been thinking what you were thinking in the moment. That she also felt that intense connection that you had felt.

"Oh… okay." You said, trying to hide the disappointment in your tone. You smiled back at her to mask any traces of dejection in your expression.

But Billie, being ever so observant, could sense that there was something else on the tip of your tongue.

"Has something been on your mind lately? It just… seems like something has been bothering you." Billie questioned, eyebrows pinched together in mild concern.

The truthful answer sat heavy on your tongue. You wanted to tell her that she had been the one on your mind lately. That she was all you could think about. But your mouth couldn't form the words; you weren't going to lay all of that on her now, not so suddenly.

You must have been quiet for too long, because Billie had spoken up again. "You don't have to tell me anything right now. You can tell me tomorrow, or even at the end of this trip. Just know that you can tell me anything."

You simply nodded, not trusting your voice enough to verbalize anything. Billie smiled at you, giving your arm a supportive squeeze. Your heart swelled up at the concern she had for you. There was a part of you that felt bad for seemingly making Billie worry, but you just couldn't help the fact that your feelings were a mess.

Once again, silence fell between the both of you, and suddenly the stars were long forgotten as you stared into Billie's eyes. She still had that warm smile on her face as she admired you.

Without even being able to help it, your eyes stole yet another glance at her lips. It was quick, fleeting.

"I… I just…" You trailed off, feeling meek, not even exactly sure what you were gearing up to say. Billie just waited patiently, giving you time to form something, anything comprehensible to say in your mind.

But before you can utter a single word, you heard the familiar sound of Jane's voice.

"Dinner's ready and plates are made! Get in here!"

You released a breath you didn't even know you were holding as you watched Billie slowly sit up, groaning a bit as she did so. You joined her, sitting up alongside her, hearing your heart beat in your ears.

"I meant what I said," she spoke. "You can tell me anything. For real." She pointed at you matter-of-factly, one eyebrow quirked. You giggled.

"I'll tell you… once I figure out how to say it." You responded truthfully. Billie nodded.

"No rush," She said softly, with a grin. "Now, let's go eat. I'm starving."

You stood up alongside Billie, following her back inside the cabin happily.

In the far back of your mind, you replayed your own words to yourself.

I'll tell you once I figure out how to say it.

Were you ever going to figure it out?

LATE NIGHT SWIM

The sun was painted in a pretty combination of oranges, pinks, and reds as you, Jane, Ava, and Billie all ran to the lake carrying towels and sunscreen, chuckling gleefully as excitement rushed through all four of you. You had never swam in a lake before today—but like they always say, there was a first for everything.

The lake itself was a stunning blue, the sunlight reflected in the waves, making for such a beautiful sight that it nearly took your breath away. You stood still at the shore, taking it all in as Jane and Ava set out the chairs around you.

Suddenly, Billie had jogged past you, already heading into the water with a wide smile lighting up her face. You tore your eyes away from the idyllic sunset and placed them on Billie instead, who was clad in a matching black two-piece, hair down and flowing in the breeze. She had already gotten knee-deep, and she turned around to meet your gaze.

"Get in here!" She yelled, and immediately you found yourself grinning ear-to-ear, doing as she said and trudging your way through the water.

Soon enough, Jane and Ava joined as well, bringing pool floaties with them.

Time seemed to slow down as the four you chatted away about everything and nothing under the sun, laughing until your cheeks started to hurt. For a little while, you guys played around with a beach ball that Billie had brought, tossing it back and forth for ages, feeling like little kids again; it was a simple game, but it didn't take much for any of you to be thoroughly entertained. In this moment, the four of you felt like the only people in the world.

Normally, your mind would be focused on having fun with your friends—and while you were genuinely having a good time—your mind couldn't stop latching onto other things. Things it normally didn't care about.

Like the way the water droplets from the lake dripped down Billie's body, glistening from the sun's golden rays. Or the way Billie bit her lip every now and then in concentration, taking this silly game of water volleyball very seriously. Her hair, completely soaked, was pushed back and out of her face, only adding to her ethereal aura. You had been friends with Billie for a long time and her beauty was something you were always aware of; but something had clearly shifted recently. Now you felt all too aware of how strikingly gorgeous she was, in a way that was almost infuriating.

Eventually, after a few beach ball tosses and some poorly made sandcastles later, the four of you were packing up to leave. The sun was almost fully below the horizon now, the sky dark and the air around you slightly more brisk. Billie suggested that the four of you take a group photo, with Billie being the self-appointed selfie stick to the best of her ability. Ava and Jane had their arms wrapped around each other, and Billie had hers around your waist, her chin on your shoulder as she looked into the lens of the camera. Your pulse quickened at her touch; something you were glad Billie couldn't notice.

After the group photo, Jane and Ava hurriedly ran ahead, giggling about something between the two of them with their towels slung over their shoulders. You and Billie on the other hand, stayed behind. You noticed that Billie was still caught on the view of the night sky and the calm water, snapping more photos of the sight before her. Normally, you would've been captured by the view too, but Billie was far prettier.

She caught you staring when she suddenly turned around, sporting a gentle, easy-going smile. "It's gorgeous, right?" She asked you, seemingly oblivious to the fact that you were already looking at her.

You nodded, smiling back at her. "Yeah, it is. I'm sure those photos will come out great."

"Oh, for sure. I can't wait to print them all out. We should do a scrapbook with them or something." She said, walking closer to you. Her eyes tore away from her camera and peered into yours instead, her blue eyes light and full of mirth.

"Oh, we're so doing that," you replied softly, chuckling lightly to yourself. Aftet the words were spoken, there was a silence that filled the air; one that you suddenly made you very aware of how close Billie was standing next to you. You couldn't ignore the intimacy of the moment; it was just the two of you and the occasional sound of the water moving around the both of you. The two of you held eye contact for a good few minutes, and rather than it feeling awkward, the atmosphere felt very charged—charged with something that you couldn't quite decipher. As you were looking into Billie's eyes, you got the sense that she could feel it, too—the strange shift in the air. But her next words promptly made you set the weird atmpshere change aside in your mind.

"We should take a picture together. Just the two of us, here." Billie suggested with a grin. You immediately found yourself nodding, already ready to get into position to pose for a photo, extending your arm so that Billie could slot herself in next to you, her own arm going around your waist. She did the classic Billie pose where she smushed her cheek directly against yours, causing a few giggles to erupt out of you. Billie quickly snapped a couple photos, you and her both changing facial expressions for each one.

But when she lowered the camera, she didn't immediately move away from your side; she stayed put, continuing to look at you fondly.

In this moment, you decided to play with fire again. Your eyes dropped down to her lips, and then back to her eyes. After doing so, you didn't miss the way Billie swallowed, her light smile slowly fading away as she continued gazing at you. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears now.

Was this the moment? The moment where you would speak the truth once and for all?

You opened your mouth to speak—it was just the two of you, alone. And for some reason, you were feeling courageous. You weren't sure were the courage came from, but it was there, and you felt like you needed to take advantage of it; that was, until Ava and Jane called for the both of you.

"Thought you guys got eaten by a shark or something. Are y'all coming?" Ava joked, yelling from her place in the grass several feet ahead of the both of you.

"There are no sharks in the lake, Ava." Jane retaliated, to which Ava lightly shoved her, rolling her eyes.

At that moment, you and Billie finally pulled away. It suddenly felt much colder without her pressed into your side.

Billie looked at you for just a few extra seconds before looking ahead. "We're comin'!" She replied. She threw a glance over her shoulder, smiling lightly. "We should catch up."

You nodded, feeling the warmth in your cheeks. You felt like you could vomit. You were so close to either completely destroying the relationship you had with Billie or completely changing it. Now, you'd never know. At least, not until you could up muster up the courage again. You weren't sure if you ever would.

"Yeah." You simply replied, following behind Billie.

The two of you still were a bit far from Ava and Jane but still trailing close. At some point during the journey back home, Billie nudged your shoulder.

"What were you gonna tell me earlier?" She asked, and you felt your heart rate speed up yet again.

"Um…" You trailed off, silently mulling over your next words in your mind. "Just… just that… y'know what, it really wasn't important."

Billie eyed you suspisciously. "You sure?"

You chuckled nervously. "Yes, I'm sure," you continued to lie, hoping your unsteady cadence wasn't giving you away.

Billie nodded slowly, still looking at you with an inquiring gaze. You hoped your lie sounded convincing enough; but you also knew that she knew you too well. However, much to your relief, Billie didn't seem to question you further. Either she truly did believe you, or she could tell you weren't ready to tell whatever you were actually going to confess. Regardless, you were grateful.

"Okay, then. If it turns out that it was important, let me know." She said with a teasing grin, nudging your shoulder again.

"Will do," you replied, wearing the same expression. After the exchange, the both of you caught up with Ava and Jane, joining them in their conversation about what the scariest sea creature was. Billie started going off about how whales utterly terrified her. Externally, you were looking at her as she passionately gave her speech, chuckling at her seriousness in an otherwise lighthearted conversaiton; internally, though, you were burying your feelings yet again, trying to ignore the way your heart ached.

FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS

Music filled the living room as you and your friends sat together in a circle on the carpet, surrounded by colorful beads and strings. Ava and Jane had made about two bracelets each, while you were still on your first one after spending several minutes carefully considering your color combination. Billie had already made three, and the one she was making currently was actually a bracelet she had planned on giving to you.

Ava, on the other hand, happily and proudly looked at the two bracelets on her wrist.

"This is so cute, right?" She spoke, showing them off. One was pink and white that had her name on it, and the other was purple and black.

You nodded. "Nice colors," you told her with a smile, glancing up from your own bracelet briefly.

"Thanks. Yours is turning out well, too." Ava replied, already getting started on making another one.

You looked over to Billie, who looked like she was just about done creating her fourth. She hid it in her palm, looking at you with a pleased smile.

"You ready to see yours?" She asked excitedly.

"Hell yeah." You enthusiastically replied, pausing your bracelet-making and waiting with bated breath to see what Billie had created for you. When she finally unfolded her palm, she revealed a bracelet made with pretty pink and purple beads, and when you got to the letters, you were expecting it to say your name, but instead you were comically met with the simple word, "poop."

You immediately looked up at Billie with a deadpan gaze, trying to fight the laughter that was threatening to escape you. Billie just looked back at you like she was utterly confused at your reaction to what she no doubt deemed a masterpiece.

"What? It's beautiful, right?" She questioned, holding back chuckles of her own. You just sighed, shaking your head as you took the bracelet out of Billie's palm to examine it further.

"Why did you spell out the word 'poop'?" You asked, to which Jane and Ava both snorted.

"Because you're the shit. Duh." Billie smoothly replied, and all you did in response was face palm, those giggles that you tried to hold back finally tumbling from your throat.

"Okay. That's kinda sweet actually. But now I have to make you something in return." You said, eyeing her mischeviously, quickly getting to work on starting another bracelet specifcally for Billie. Billie clapped her hands excitedly.

"Can't wait. It better be flawless." She joked.

You made this bracelet rather hastily, quickly deciding on a color combination that consisted of light green and brown. You were already snickering to yourself quietly as you spelled out the word for Billie's bracelet, trying your best to shield it from her so she couldn't get any quick glances.

"What's so funny?" Billie asked, one eyebrow raised.

"You'll see. I'm almost done." You replied, and within a few seconds after saying so, you had completed the bracelet, tying it at the ends and giving a test stretch. When you were satisfied, you turned to Billie.

"Okay. You ready?" You said, holding it in your hand. Billie just silently held out her own, ready to accept what you had made her.

When you revealed the bracelet, you kept your eyes trained closely on Billie's face, waiting to see her register what you had spelled out, which didn't take long; almost instantly, Billie burst out into loud cackles, causing Ava and Jane to look up from their own bracelets to see what had given Billie such a big reaction.

In line with what Billie had given you, your bracelet spelled out the word "fart."

Jane shook her head, not wanting to laugh but failing to do so due to everyone else's contagious laughter filling the room.

Billie took the bracelet and held it up with pride before putting it on her wrist. "I love it. Genuinely."

"Now we're matching." You stated.

Dramatically, Billie put a hand over her heart. "It makes so much sense—because you can't have poop without farts. It means we're a match made in heaven."

"You're such a weirdo." You teased.

"Says the person that just made me a bracelet that says 'fart.'"

"Girl, shut up, you started it!"

"Whatever. You love me all the same."

Billie's words had been lighthearted, but for some reason, when she spoke them, you felt a shift in the room. The dopey smile you had been wearing slowly began to fade as your mind began repeating her last sentence.

You love me all the same.

You suddenly had felt a pit in your stomach as you gazed at Billie, who had taken a break from bracelet-making to scroll on her phone and was oblivious to the sudden epiphany you were having. How funny that you were just now coming to terms with the fact that you were in love with your best friend during what was supposed to be a completely platonic, normal activity?

"We should all take a photo of our bracelets!" Ava suddenly spoke, pulling you out of your mind. You tried to plaster on your smile again, but no doubt it probably looked more forced now. You just hoped your friends wouldn't be too observant.

The four of you each put on the bracelets, sticking out your hands and making a star shape with your fingers. Ava snapped a couple of photos, after which she immediately sent them to the group chat you all were in.

"Alright, now who's hungry?" Jane spoke, and Ava and Billie both said 'me' nearly at the same time, getting to work on cleaning up all of the beads and charms on the floor. You helped too, albeit a bit more slowly than the others, still deep in thought, and still hearing those three words repeated over and over again, like your brain was mocking you.

You love me all the same.

You love me all the same.

You love me.

You love her. You're in love with your best friend.

A gentle touch on your shoulder brought you back to the present again. It was Billie.

"You good?" She asked with a grin. You didn't realize it, but Ava and Jane had already left the room.

You nodded in response, trying to throw her a grin back, but it didn't quite reach your eyes. "Yeah. Just thinking about what to eat." You lied. Food was actually the last thing on your mind.

"I think I heard Jane say something about vegan pizza," Billie said, standing up and stretching her limbs until a few quiet pops could be heard. "C'mon, we're gonna make it together!"

You did just that, standing up and following Billie out of the bedroom, burying your feelings once again.

The pizza was a success. It was easily the most delicious thing you had eaten on the trip by far. Sadly, though, you couldn't enjoy it as much as you wanted to, not with your mind constantly in overdrive about your newfound feelings.

By the time the sun had fully dipped below the horizon, Ava and Jane had already went off to bed. You stayed up with Billie for a bit, watching her play Animal Crossing on her switch, before eventually sleepiness had taken a hold of her, too, and she retreated to her own room to call it a night.

You had went to your own room as well, but unlike the others, you weren't very tired. You tossed and turned and waited so very patiently for sleep to arrive—but it never did, and after about an hour of hoping it would, you eventually gave up, exiting your room and making a beeline for the kitchen, rubbing the tiredness out of your eyes and releasing a heavy sigh.

You mindlessly opened the fridge, grabbing a bottle of orange juice. It was just enough for one more glass so you decided to finish it off.

With your cup of orange juice in hand, you sat down at the dining table, sipping in silence, your mind annoyingly active given what time of night it was. You were already reminsicing about everything that you and your friends had did together, and your heart felt heavy at the fact that in just a few hours, everyone would be packing their things back into the van and going back to the city. You weren't looking forward to returning to monotony of your everyday life.

Eventually, your thoughts began to shift to something else entirely, though; namely, Billie. You replayed nearly every interaction you had with her in your mind, focusing on strange details each time, like how she smelled, how she looked at you, how she touched you. To her, her gestures and actions probably meant nothing, but you obsessed over them. Every time she laughed at one of your jokes, or cuddled into your side whenever she was seated next to you—you craved it. And you craved having her all to yourself, where you could keep making her laugh until the end of time, maybe in a house, with a white pickett fence and her two pitbulls.

You sighed, leaning forward to rest your forehead on the cold, wooden table.

You truly had no idea what to do—but one thing was for certain. Keeping it to yourself was much easier than anything else you could do. Although it hurt, nothing would hurt more than the possibility of Billie rejecting you.

You didn't realize it at first, too caught up in your own misery to notice, but Billie had quietly snuck out of her own room, feet barely grazing against the floor as she also snuck her way to the kitchen, where she was surprised to see you were already there.

"Hey, you," Billie had said quietly, causing you to jolt in your seat. You raised your head off the table and whipped it around to look at Billie, putting a hand over your heart.

"You scared the shit out of me," you said with a small smile. Billie chuckled, making herself a cup of water from the dispenser in the fridge.

"My bad," she muttered. She took a quick sip before continuing. "What are you still doing up?" She inquired.

You shrugged. "Feeling a bit restless. What about you?"

She nodded in agreement. "You know what? Me too. I don't want this trip to end so I'm trying to prolong the next day from coming for as long as possible." She said.

You laughed airily at that. "I feel you. I can't believe the end is already here."

Pulling out a seat, Billie sat next to you, setting her cup down and staring into it, lazily circling the rim of it with her finger as she spoke.

"I know, right? But on the bright side," She paused, bringing her gaze to your face. "There will always be another opportunity to plan a trip like this again. And trust me, we are definitely doing this again." She said with a smile.

"For sure," you replied, trying to match her enthusiasm, but instead it sounded painfully obvious that you weren't fully present in the moment; detached from the conversation at hand. So obvious that of course, Billie noticed.

The smile that she was sporting slowly faded as she looked at you, concern pinching her eyebrows together as she observed you carefully. Your eyes fell down to your lap where you twiddled your thumbs mindlessly, shifting in your seat at being so closely examined by her. Even though you weren't looking at her you could feel her eyes burning into you.

"Something's been bothering you." Billie stated; she deliberately didn't phrase it as a question but rather as a simple fact, one that you knew was true.

You nodded, letting out a heavy sigh. If only you were better at masking your feelings. Or if only Billie weren't so good at seeing right through you.

"Yeah," you began, voice quiet, but in the dead of night, it was loud and clear. "Remember when we were laying underneath the stars together? A couple days ago?" You spoke. You tried to keep your voice still; tried not to let your anxiety about this moment spill through the cracks.

Billie nodded, silently prompting you to continue, listening attentively.

"And… remember when I said I'd tell you something…" You trailed off, feeling your heart rate increase, the muscle pounding incessantly against your ribcage. You still couldn't bring yourself to gaze up at her, eyes still glued to your lap.

"You said you'd tell me once you figured out how to say it…" Billie interjected. Taking a sip of her water, she then added, "Did you?"

"I did. I think I did, anyway. But I just don't know how to… I mean, I just don't know if I can…" You replied, a great amount of uncertainty in your voice as you tried to pick and choose your words carefully. The back of your ears began to run hot as you already felt like you were making a fool of yourself and you hadn't even confessed anything yet.

"Hey," Billie said softly. "Can you look at me, please?"

It took you several long seconds to do so, but eventually, you tore your gaze away from your lap and brought them up to your best friend's face. You noticed her expression shift from that of slight concern to something a bit warmer when she finally made eye contact with you.

"You know I'd never judge you for anything, right?" She asked.

"I know, Billie. I know. I just don't wanna…" Your voice trembled as the sentence fell apart.

"Don't wanna what? It's okay, you can tell me." Billie urged.

You let out another sigh, one that had even more weight behind it than the last.

"I just don't want anything to change between us." You said sincerely.

Billie leaned forward, her gaze firm. "There's nothing that you could say or do that would change or ruin what we have. I promise."

At that, you felt something come over you. A twinge of boldness. A random surge of confidence.

"Nothing?" You inquired, a hopeful glint in your eye.

Billie smiled, confirming with a nod. "Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all."

Now or never, you thought.

"I want to kiss you." You confessed. When the words finally left your mouth, you immediately felt your shoulders become lighter, the invisible weight that had been holding you down for days finally disappearing. "And I think I'm in love with you."

You could tell Billie was surprised at first, her eyes widening and lips parting ever so slightly at your admission.

"Oh," was all she said after a couple excruciatingly long minutes. The single word, said so quietly you almost didn't catch it, felt like a heavy slap to the face.

Almost in an instant, regret hit you like a ton of bricks. "I'm so sorry. I don't—I don't know why I—I just—" you were stammering, searching for the right words, as if there was anything you could say that would undo what had just transpired.

But the slow smile that appeared on Billie's face put a stop to your panicked rambling. Simply tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear, her next words completely stole the breath from your lungs.

"Then kiss me." She said, no hint of hesitation in her voice, not even a sarcastic undertone. She was being 100% serious, and you swore your ears were playing tricks on you. For a brief moment, you even wondered if this was all a dream.

"I—what?" You said through nervous, breathless laughter, the situation so absurd and unexpected that

But you didn't even need to worry about what to say next, because Billie was already going in for more, effectively silencing your panicked scrambling. She brought one hand up to the side of your face, thumb gently gliding across your cheek as she kissed you with even more passion than before, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs.

It was Billie who pulled away this time, looking quite breathless herself, a wide smile having blossomed across her face.

"What took you so long?" Billie asked, a teasing lilt to her voice. You just looked at her like she was crazy, your brain still trying to process and make sense of everything that had happened.

"What?" You questioned, a smile of your own tugging at your lips.

"What took you so long to kiss me?"

You chuckled nervously, internally hoping that this wasn't some cruel dream. "I don't know, I just… I didn't know if you felt the same." You replied.

"Of course I felt the same," she ran a hand through her hair, leaning back in her chair. "I've felt the same for a while now, actually." She spoke, her voice quieter as she became more vulnerable.

"Really?" You urged. "How… how long have you known?"

"I think it started when we were teenagers," Billie said, grinning faintly as she thought back to her memories with you when you both were too careless for your own good.

"During that time, I felt some kind of pull toward you; it was something I couldn't quite understand, back then. But regardless, I knew that you were really special to me, but I was afraid to act on it. I wasn't even sure if you liked girls so I just… kept it to myself, thinking my feelings would go away. They didn't, obviously."

Your heart warmed at Billie's admission, eyebrows creasing at the sincerety of her words. "Oh, Billie… I can't believe you kept them buried for so long."

"Yeah, well, now that the secret is out, I feel like I can fnally breathe. Like a huge weight's been lifted from my shoulders." She said, a series of giggles escaping her, the contagious sound making you release some of your own.

"Tell me about it," You replied, almost feeling dizzy with how elated you were feeling in the moment. "I honestly don't think I could've kept it in for much longer."

"Well," Billie said with a smile. "Good thing you don't have to anymore."

You mirrored her expression, taking her hand in yours with interlaced fingers. "Yeah."

The both of you let a comfortable silence fill the space, allowing the warmth of the words shared just moments prior to settle over the two of you. Your eyes glanced down at your hand that was gripped tightly in Billie's before slowly drifting up to her face. You saw she was already looking at you when you lifted your gaze, still smiling lazily, honey practically pouring out of her eyes as she admired you. You turned away out of shyness, biting your lip to keep your grin from growing wider, but of course, it didn't really work.

"What?" Billie questioned, amusement in her tone.

"You can't look at me like that," You replied, feeling heat gradually rush to your cheeks.

"Like what? Like how I've always looked at you?" Billie retorted, smirking, as if she was getting a kick out of seeing you so flustered.

You shook your head, finally finding the courage to look at her again, this time with a more contemplative expression, a thought crossing your mind briefly.

"It feels… different, though." You spoke. Billie's eyebrows furrowed slightly. She turned toward you more, hanging onto your every word.

"What does?"

You shrugged, vagualey gesturing with your head to your interlaced fingers.

Billie threw her head back, a quiet laugh escaping her. The sound was very quickly becoming your favorite thing in the entire world (if you were being honest with yourself, it already had been).

"I don't think it feels different. You're still my best friend in the entire world. The only thing that's changed is… now I can kiss you whenever I want."

It was your turn to laugh now, the sound coming out a bit louder than you meant it too gven the time of night. You don't remember the last time you smiled this hard.

"Yeah… I guess that's a difference."

"Is that something you want?"

You raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Me kissing you all the time."

You nodded, your grin far wider than you ever thought it could be.

"Yeah, Bils. I'd like that very much."

At that, Billie stood up, her hand still in yours, still wearing a lovesick grin of her own. You stood up alongside her, and the second you were eye-level with her, she was already leaning in to plant another kiss on your lips, chaste and fleeting.

When she pulled away, she looked at you with amusement written all over her face, fully pleased with the way your eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Chuckles escaped her as she took in your expression. "You're so cu-"

You gave her a taste of your own medicine, capturing her lips in a kiss that was equally as brief.

"I'm so what? Sorry, I didn't catch that." You said, eyes glowing with mischief.

A pause. She then pulled you closer by your waist, eyeing you fondly. "You think you're so funny."

"I'm hilarious," you replied.

"Mhm," Billie muttered, leaning in closer to you, her eyes laser-focused on your lips. "Very hilarious."

It didn't take long for the both of you to lose yourselves in each other, your arms loosely wrapped around Billie's neck as she kissed you with a sudden fiery passion, all while trying to guide you to her bedroom. It wasn't a smooth journey by any means, the two of you bumping into walls and furniture, giggling into each other's mouths.

But when the two of you finally made it to the bed, with you comfortably lying on top of Billie, you only shared a few more pecks before finally parting, the both of you breathless as you admired each other.

"We should sleep," you spoke softly, barely audible if not for how quiet the bedroom was. You didn't sound very convincing, and with the way Billie was smiling, she didn't seem to think you were very convincing either.

"Yeah… we probably should." Billie replied, equally as unconvincingly, eyes still lingering on the lower half of your face.

You fought against whatever the other part of your brain was telling you, removing yourself from her and settling beside ber instead. But as you both got comfortable, you very quickly realized that sleep would definitely be practically impossible to come by, but you weren't complaining. You were both face-to-face, close enough that either one of you could lean in just a few inches and both of your noses would touch. It reminded you of just a few days ago, when the two of you were lying underneath the stars, except this time, the energy was completely different.

Back then, having her so close to you nearly felt suffocating. It had been difficult then, trying to act against your impulses. Now, the tension between the two of you was charged with something different; you felt like you could breathe again, now that you didn't have to hide the fondness in your eyes. Plus, you could unapologetically glance at her lips without it feeling like a punch in the gut. Without even fully realizing it, you were smiling to yourself, just happy that she was finally yours.

"What are you thinking about over there?" Billie asked, a smirk growing on her own features. She was always so good at seeing right through you; and now, it didn't feel like a curse.

"I'm thinking about…" A beat, as you contemplated teasing her, or being honest. You eventually settled for being honest. "… how I want to keep kissing you."

Billie's smirk deepened, and in a split second, she was moving to hover over you, being careful as to not put her full weight on you. She tucked her hair behind her ear, leaning in close, whispering one last sentence against your lips.

"Me too," she spoke, and before you could even let out a coy chuckle in response, her lips were already on yours. You were already becoming obsessed with how she kissed you—like she was dying of thirst and you were an oasis. It made you lightheaded and hungry for more all at once.

Whenever she pulled away, it was never for long; it was only to get a little bit of air, and she was back to kissing you senseless, the sound of your lips re-connecting with hers filling the space around you. At some point, Billie parted her lips, her tongue peeking out courageously, the wet muscle ever so gently brushing against your lips. There was no hesitation in the way that you invited her in, letting your tongue touch hers, the feeling immediately getting a soft whine out of you.

It seemed like the air around the both of you had warmed up significantly, as the two of you eventually migrated from underneath the thick comforter, re-adjusting as needed while still trying to keep your lips from separating. There was a couple times that your forehead bumped into Billie's, causing the both of you to pause only for a few seconds to giggle into each other's mouths.

At some point, while you were half-way on top of Billie, you felt her hands go underneath your shirt, gently rubbing the bare skin of your back. The action made your heart rate spike, desire pooling in your stomach as her touch set your skin aflame. But there was something else simmering within you, and it was that all too familiar feeling of anxiety, causing you to briefly snap out of your lust-filled haze.

It was your turn to pull away now, completely this time, a long string of saliva forming and immediately breaking between the two of you. It took Billie a couple seconds too long to open her eyes, her pupils blown wide as she looked at you with a hooded gaze. You felt your cheeks flush while taking in the shine on her lips from your spit and the way they were still slightly parted, her chest rising and falling slowly as she took in some air. While observing her, you almost forgot the reason why you pulled away in the first place, but with the way her hand was still at the small of your back, you very quickly remembered.

You eased yourself off of her, sitting up straight against the headboard, letting your head fall against it with a soft thud. You let your eyes fall shut, suddenly feeling insecure about the confession that sat on your tongue.

You heard Billie shifting next to you, and you swore you could still feel her gaze pinning you down.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, and the concern in her voice had you opening your eyes, turning your head to face her. She was in fact still looking at you, worry painting her features. You felt a pang in your heart at how troubled she seemed over your sudden withdrawal, and your mind began racing with things to say to ease her concerns.

"I'm okay, Bils, I just…" You trailed off, embarrasment creeping up your neck and making the back of your ears hot.

You felt Billie grab your hand, squeezing gently as a way of silently communicating to you that she was listening, and that you didn't have anything to worry about when it came to her. You knew this without her even having to verbalize it. She just looked at you expectedly, allowing you to take your time and find your next words.

There was no point in holding it in any longer, no need to make her wait; so, you let the admission roll of your tongue.

"I've never… done anything with another woman before." You confessed, your eyes falling down to your lap, suddenly feeling too shy to keep Billie's gaze.

It was a silent for a bit, and for one foolish second, you thought maybe you had ruined the moment. But only for a second, because any anxiety that you were feeling was quickly washed away upon hearing the sound of Billie's airy laughter—but you could tell she wasn't laughing at you. No, it was the kind of laughter that arose from surprise or sudden relief.

"Please, don't tell me you thought I would judge you for that, baby."

Hearing the pet name fall from her lips made your heart skip a beat, but you tried to let it wash over you, ignoring the flutter in your stomach at how sweet it sounded coming from her.

"I know you wouldn't, I'm just… nervous," You spoke, your eyes drifting back down to your lap where you twiddled your thumbs anxiously. "I don't wanna do the wrong thing, or—"

"Look at me," Billie interjected, her tone of voice still soft even while giving a firm command. You obeyed, eyes flitting back to her face almost instantly.

She brought one hand up to your cheek, her thumb caressing the skin gently, like you were made of porcelain. "You don't need to worry about anything, okay? All you need to do is be vocal; tell me what you like and don't like. Can you do that for me?"

I'd do anything for you, a voice said in your mind. To Billie, though, you simply opted for a shy and quiet "yes."

At that, Billie smiled, leaning in to give you a peck. "Good girl." She praised, voice barely above a whisper. You couldn't help but squeeze your thighs together at the way those two simple words sounded rolling off of her tongue, her voice low and sensual, so much different from the sweet, honeyed tone she had just a moment ago.

Billie just chuckled, as if she knew the effect she had on you. "Here," she began, re-adjusting, putting a pillow against the headboard to lean against. Then, she looked at you. "I want you to lean against me." She instructed. You did as she said, slowly lying back against her chest, sitting comfortbly in the space between her legs. Your heart was ceaselessly drumming against your ribcage, and your entire body felt like it had been pulsing with electricity, every fiber of your being aching with anticipation but also with nerves. Your mind began to fill with worrisome thoughts, mostly about your inexperience with having sex with someone who wasn't a man. With men, you followed a script; it was easy and reliable. But this was uncharted territory.

As if Billie could hear your racing mind, she pulled you back to the present by trailing a series of wet kisses down the column of your neck, her fingers teasing the hem of your shirt. At the moment, you actively tried turning your brain off, letting a sigh blow past your lips as you melted more into her touch.

"Can I take this shirt off?" She asked, and you could just barely hear a hint of impatience in her tone, clearly eager to see every part of you. Wordlessly, you nodded, slowly pulling your shirt over your head with Billie's help. Almost instantly, the shirt was tossed haphazardly onto the floor, and now the top half of your body was completely exposed, the cool air hitting your warm skin. You watched as Billie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she admired the sight of you, bare chest and all, her hands wasting no time in cupping your breasts, squeezing gently, kneading the flesh between her fingers.

"Can't believe you're all mine, baby." Billie spoke, her breath hitting your ear, causing a chill to run down your back. You're in such a floaty headspace already, teetering on the edge of reality, that all you can do is let your eyes flutter closed as she continues her movements. You silently noted how much you loved hearing that possessive word—mine—roll off her tongue.

Soon enough, she was removing one of her hands from your breast, and before you could lazily protest, your eyes slowly opening, yet another command fell from Billie's lips.

"Look at me." She stated, and immediately, your eyes met her own hypnotizing ones, your neck craning ever so slightly. Then, you watched with bated breath as Billie held up two fingers—her middle and ring fingers, specifically—bringing them close to your mouth. Before she even said anything, your lips parted instinctelvy, your gaze briefly glancing down at her hand. You saw the way the corners of Billie's lips went up, a fire being lit in her eyes, as if she could read your mind.

"Go on," she said, her voice so low that it only made the ache between your legs even more unbearable. "Get 'em nice and wet for me, yeah?"

And of course, you did as she asked, immediately taking those two fingers into the warm and wet cavern that was your mouth, your tongue swirling around the tips of them. Billie's eyes never once left your mouth, completely entranced by the way you covered her fingers in your spit, leaving them coated and glistening. Your cheeks burned as you felt slightly embarrassed putting on such an erotic show for her like this, but with the way she was looking at you so hungrily, gaze hooded, you felt a surge of boldness run through you.

"Very good," Billie praised, pulling her fingers out of your mouth when she was satisfied with how slick they were, practically glistening.

"Now, take off your shorts." Billie instructed next, and you didn't waste any time, quickly tugging your cotton sleep shorts down your legs and throwing them somewhere in the room once they were fully off. The only thing you were left in now was a thin pair of panties, and they were practically sticking to you with how wet you were.

Silently, Billie's hand trailed down your body, stopping right above the waistband of your underwear. She didn't ask for these to removed next; instead, she simply pulled the fabric to the side, exposing your slick folds to the cool air in the room, making you shiver with anticipation. You swallowed, feeling goosebumps riddle your skin at what was to come.

"I'm gonna touch you now, okay?" Billie said, the warmth of her breath hitting your ear. Her fingers gently brushed the inner part of your thigh, teasing you further. "Remember to relax, yeah?"

You nodded, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, your heart rate gradually decreasing as you fully allowed yourself to melt into Billie's touch. She studied you closely, observing your facial expressions, and when saw that you were ready, her fingers finally made contact with your core, applying a gentle pressure.

A pleased sigh escaped you before she even began moving her fingers, as you were so aroused that the smallest touch was already pleasurable enough. But then Billie began to rub her fingers up and down, faint wet sounds filling the quietness of the space, causing heat to rush to your cheeks in slight embarrasment at how much of an effect she had on you. Her fingers were moving slowly and carefully as she measured your reactions, paying close attention to how your breathing became more labored, your bottom lip sucked between your teeth, afraid of letting any noises slip.

But it only became more difficult for you when she finally paid attention to your clit, rubbing the sensitive nub in slow, circular motions. Your attempt at being quiet almost immediately went down the drain, a sharp, high-pitched gasp escaping you. Your eyes fell shut, forcing you to focus only on the way Billie was touching you so expertly, her fingers gradually speeding up, drawing out your pleasure as much as she could, taking her time in making you fall apart.

"That feel good?" Billie had the audacity to ask you, knowing full well you had completely forgotten how to speak at this point. You could only give her a nod and some kind of shaky sigh in response. Billie seemed determined to make you crumble, her fingers rubbing you quickly, the motion slowly but surely causing the familiar feeling in your stomach, growing tighter and tigher every passing second.

Your breathing was heavy now, chest rising and falling rapidly, and in an effort to be mindful of the other two people sleeping not to far away from where you were, you brought a hand to your mouth, hoping to muffle any other noises that escaped; but Billie was quick to pull your hand down, interlacing her fingers with yours as she kept up her relentless pace in between your legs. Finally, a low whine climbed out of your throat, hips beginning to squirm at Billie's unforgiving ministrations.

"There she is," Billie spoke lowly, and you swore you could hear the smirk in her voice. "Need to hear how good you sound when I make you cum."

The bluntness of her words only added to how turned on you were, and with your orgasm just on the horizon, it became near impossible to hold back, your soft signs transitioning into audible cries. Despite being in Billie's grasp, it didn't stop you from squirming, your hips automatically trying to move away from the onslaught of pleasure she was giving you, but of course, you couldn't get very far.

"Billie—oh my god," you moaned, throwing your head back onto her shoulder. The sounds were pouring out of you now, and you could only hope that the walls were thick enough that you weren't disrupting anyone's sleep. But honestly, being disruptive was the last thing on your mind as you felt that coil in your stomach grow impossibly tighter. Your legs come together, closing around her wrist, but that doesn't stop her nor slow her down.

"I know, baby, I know," Billie said, faux sympathy oozing from her tone. Evilly, she only made matters worse for you when she suddenly introduced two of her fingers, making sure to keep your clit stimulated with the palm of her hand, hitting the tiny bundle of nerves with every thrust.

"You're gonna cum for me, aren't you?" She spoke, and you could hear the pleased smile in her voice.

Another broken sob escaped you instead of words, as you were far too gone to even try to be coherent. You could feel the vibration of Billie’s chest as she chuckled lowly at you, clearly satisfied with how she's managed to get you to this state.

Your orgasm was closer than ever, building and building, your entire body shaking in Billie's hold. Your eyebrows pinched together as you focused intently on that ever-growing feeling; the feeling of Billie's fingers rubbing so perfectly against your inner walls. She only needed to thrust one, two, three more times before that tightening coil in your stomach finally snapped, causing your legs to twitch uncontrollably as your orgasm crashed over you in dramatic waves.

In the aftermath, you simply laid there, the only sound filling the room being your heavy breathing that was gradually slowing with each passing minute. You threw your head back onto Billie's shoulder, completely spent, exhaustion quickly settling over you. You felt Billie gently caress your thigh absentmindedly, the sound of her own breathing mixing with yours. You felt her chest rise and fall against your back as you came down from cloud nine.

"Billie… where on earth did you learn how to do that?" You questioned, piercing the silence.

Billie chuckled—a sound that was very quickly becoming your favorite. If you were being honest, it already was.

"You say that as if pleasuring a woman is rocket science or something."

"My exes would say otherwise," you replied, cringing despite yourself while briefly thinking back to past hook-ups that left much to be desired.

"Your exes are stupid." Billie retorted matter-of-factly, her words curt and to the point. It pulled a hearty laugh out of you, one that you failed to hold back. At this point, you could only hope that Ava and Jane were heavy sleepers.

"Well," you began, craning your head in a way so that you were facing her. "I won't argue with that."

Billie just smiled, the sight still making your heart skip a beat even after all these years. You didn't miss the way the her eyes glanced down at your lips, and for the first time, without feeling scared or nervous, you leaned in and kissed her, capturing her lips greedily.

When you pulled away, you began to feel just how heavy your eyelids were. Billie took note of the way you were starting to fight sleep, giving you one last peck on the cheek.

"C'mon, sleepyhead. Let's get you to bed." She spoke, helping you reposition. You tiredly reached for your neglected shirt, putting it back on inside-out and not even caring, already getting settled underneath the comforter with Billie holding you close, the warmth from her body and her steady heartbeat only making you sleepier.

The last thing you heard was the sound of Billie's gentle voice, right beside you, muttering a lazy "goodnight, baby," the words slow and drawn-out.

Golden rays of light filling the room was the first thing you noticed upon opening your eyes, your eyes squinting a bit at the sudden brightness. The next thing you noticed immediately after was the feeling of a warm body behind you, holding you close, arms wrapped around you tightly as if you were going to disappear into thin air. You couldn't fight the smile that was growing on your face at you4 current predicament, all of the memories from last night flooding your brain all at once.

You were totally comfortable staying put, wanting to live in the moment forever, but you felt compelled to check the time, knowing that you had to be moved out of the rental cabin at a certain time. Thankfully, your phone was not far, sitting on the bedside table. You had to come out of Billie's grasp just a bit to reach for it, and nervously you glanced back, waiting to see if she would wake, but fortunately she didn't stir.

When you tapped the screen, bringing the phone to the life, the first thing you saw was your dangerously low battery that you promptly ignored. The next thing, though, pushed all of the sleepiness out of your body, making your eyebrows shoot up your forehead in surprise.

You and Billie had overslept. And you only had about thirty minutes to not only get ready, but also pack all of your things.

You threw your phone away somewhere in front of you rather haphazardly, trying to get out of Billie's grasp completely, but suddenly you couldn't move, her arms just squeezing you tighter. That's how you knew she was finally up, even though she was still trying to fool you with her eyes still closed.

"Billie," you croaked, voice still a bit hoarse. You cleared your throat so that your words came out clearer.

"Billie, hey. We gotta get up. Like, right now." You spoke, still trying to get her arms off of you, but she was rather strong. You really couldn't even be annoyed, already feeling giggles try to escape you. You held them back with all your might.

"Billie, I know you're up and I know that you can hear me. We're gonna be late."

Billie just groaned, eyes still closed. She buried her face into your neck, peppering light kisses here and there, and it took everything in you to not let your eyes flutter closed at the sensation.

"Five more minutes?" Billie asked, her morning voice low and attractive as ever, a wave of heat washing over you at the sound of it.

"I'm sorry, Bils. If we want to leave here on time we kinda need to go, like, now." You replied, but there was no actual harshness in your tone, just lighthearted urgency.

"But I want you to stay here forever." She spoke, her words coming out more like tired mumbles. You couldn't hold back your chuckles anymore, rolling your eyes at how dramatic she was.

"We'll get plenty of other opportunities to sleep in, I promise you."

"How about three more minutes?" Billie said, attempting to negotiate, not at all worried about the possibility of being late.

You laughed. At that moment, a cruel idea popped into your mind. "Billie, if you don't let me go now, you won't get a good morning kiss."

With a speed that was almost comical, Billie's arms loosened. "Oh my god. That's evil. You win."

You smiled to yourself triumphantly, finally dragging yourself out of bed.

"Figured that would work," you said, finding your clothes that were scattered about the room. As you were bending over to pick up your filthy, discarded underwear, you heard the telltale sound of the blankets rustling.

"Goddamn," you heard Billie mutter, and you when you straightened back up, you saw that she was sitting up now, her eyes unashamedly taking in every inch of you. "I could really get used to this."

You rolled your eyes yet again, picking up your sleep shorts that were also on the ground and throwing them in her direction.

"Get up, Billie. Your good morning kiss is still at risk."

Billie threw up her hands defensively. "Okay, okay. I'm getting up." She spoke, staying true to her words and finally stepping out of bed. She walked over to you first, standing in front of you in all of her glory with her adorably messy bed-head, looking at you expectedly.

Wordlessly, you gave Billie that kiss she wanted, even going as far as to make the silly muah sound, loud and dramatic.

Pulling away, you admired how Billie’s face lit up like a Christmas tree, fully beaming. You playfully shook your head.

"You're ridiculous." You said, but of course, there was no actual bite to your words.

"Isn't that why you love me?" Billie retaliated, smirking proudly.

"Yeah, I guess," You joked, shrugging your shoulders for the bit. "Now let's hurry up before Ava and Jane yell at us."

Funnily enough, you didn't actually have to worry about Ava and Jane yelling at either of you, because when you and Billie finally finished freshening up, getting ready at record speed, you both walked into a surprisingly empty living room, the two sisters nowhere to be found. You were fully expecting the two of them to already be waiting at the door, Jane with crossed arms and Ava tapping her foot impatiently.

Billie was first to comment on this, letting out a scoff before speaking. "See? We could've slept in for five more minutes. Those slowpokes aren't even ready yet." She spoke, setting her packed suitcase aside and plopping down on the couch.

You chuckled, plopping down next to her. There wasn't an ounce of personal space between you and her, your thighs and shoulders touching.

"Whatever. We needed to get up, anyway. I'm sure they'll be ready any minute now."

"Well, they better hurry, because I'm starving." Billie said, her hand just casually resting on your thigh like it belonged there.

"What are you hungry for?" You inquired.

"Um… let's see…" Billie trailed off as she thought, a natural silence filling the space between you two. But at some point, when you glanced at her first, you couldn't help but notice the way that a small grin was slowly taking over her features, her bottom lip going in-between her teeth, a sign that she was ready to tease you about something.

"What the hell are you thinking about over there?" You urged, already holding back a smile yourself.

"Well… I just wondering… are you on the menu, by any chance?"

All you could do was sigh in expaseration, but there was nothing but fondness in your eyes, regardless. "Billie, shut up."

Billie just gave you a smile bright enough to rival the sun.

"Make me shut up." She spoke, only stoking the flames even more.

"Do you know what you're asking for?" You playfully threatened, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, I've got a pretty good idea."

"You are so annoying."

"Who do you think I get it from?"

"Hm, I don't know…" you grinned mischeviously. "Your brother?"

Billie's jaw dropped in a mix of shock and mock offense. You hid your giglges behind your hand.

"Come here." Was all Billie said, quickly reaching for you and pulling you toward her lap. You gave in immediately, allowing yourself to be positioned on top of her, eagerly cupping both sides of her face as you two closed the distance, faces meeting halfway. There was more heat behind this kiss than the one shared this morning, both of your lips parting almost instantly upon coming in contact, tongues sliding against each other in a way that was a bit too lewd given where you both were, but the rational part of your brain was already shut off.

But unbeknowst to either of you, Ava and Jane had snuck in, bags packed, blissfully unaware that they would be walking into an intimate moment.

"Oh shit." Jane suddenly spoke, and the sound of her voice immediately caused you to fling yourself off of Billie, wiping your mouth in a desperate attempt to hide the evidence even though you already knew it was too late. Billie, however, was just casually straightening out her shirt, no urgency or embarassment in her movements at all.

"Jesus—what took you two so long?"

Ava was too busy dying laughing to answer. "We—we were busy talking." Jane said, her voice teetering on the edge of laughter as well.

"About?" Billie chimed in.

"About how much money I owe her."

You looked at her, quizzically. "What?"

Ava finally calmed down, butting in. "Jane and I bet that you two would get together by the end of this trip. She didn't think it would happen, but I did, so now she owes me fifty dollars."

Jane crossed her arms, playfully rolling her eyes at her sister. "Okay, so what, you're right about this one thing."

Ava just flipped her hair, clearly basking in her victory. "I'm right about everything."

"You guys... didn't hear us? Last night?" Billie hesitantly asked.

The two sisters looked at the both of her with an inquisivite look. Ava was the one to question further.

"Hear you…?" She echoed, obviously still confused, but one look at Jane's face told you that she caught on very quickly to what Billie was implying, her eyes widening.

"Oh, wow… you guys… oh my god."

Then, it was Ava's turn for the realizaton to hit her over the head.

"Oh—I'm, uh… happy for you two, I guess. We were totally knocked out so we didn't… uh… hear anything."

You grabbed your bag, hurriedly and awkwardly trying to scooch past them.

"Can we please just go already. I'm mortified." You spoke, warmth flooding your cheeks in embarrasment.

"Okay, okay, let's go," Ava replied, still chuckling to herself.

After the four of you stored your bags away in the trunk in your shared car, preparing for the long road trip ahead, Jane stopped you before you could get in the backseat of the car. Billie was already inside, scrolling through her phone, while Ava was starting the engine.

She spoke in a hushed tone, one that only you could hear.

"Seriously, though. Ava and I are happy for the both of you. It was long time coming. And it was painfully obvious." She said, sincerity in her tone. You still hadn't fully recovered from what had transpired in the living room just moments prior, but any lingering embarrasment was slowly fading away and being replaced with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude toward one of your best friends.

"Thank you, Jane. Really."

She gave you an easygoing smile and a comforting pat on the shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

You thought that would be the end of the teasing until you got into the backseat next to Billie, Ava's voice heard loud and clear.

"By the way—no funny business back there. Hands and lips to yourselves."

- newlywed!billie who would refuse to let go of your hand after the wedding because what if you “change your mind and leave her”, as if any sane person would ever even dream about it.

- newlywed!billie who genuinely couldn’t sleep the night of your wedding. She kept muttering “I can’t believe we’re married” into your ear until the adrenaline wore off and she drifted asleep.

- newlywed!billie who had your first date together after the wedding at the small family-owned restaurant where you had your first date. You were basically friends with the owners and they might’ve been more excited about your marriage than you.

- newlywed!billie who’s OBSESSED with calling you “wife” or “wifey”. She’s been calling you that ever since you got engaged. Before, you thought being called something like “wifey” was cringy until you heard the words come out of Billie’s mouth.

- newlywed!billie who would never take off her wedding and engagement ring unless it’s during a concert or event where there’s a slight chance of them falling off.

- newlywed!billie who would pretend to hate the movies you picked for your movie nights, but every time, she’d let you pick them and she’d watch them either way.

- newlywed!billie who would introduce you to everyone as “my wife”, emphasising “wife”. She would be real proud, too, showing off her ring to everyone who expressed even the slightest bit of interest.

- newlywed!billie who would wake up and lie in bed for an extra thirty minutes in the morning just so she could feel your warmth for a little longer.

- newlywed!billie who’s entire camera roll is just candid moments of your marriage. You asleep after a long night at an event, you cooking dinner, you doomscrolling on her lap… it’s all been captured on her phone. At least an entire TB of her phone storage is dedicated to you.

- newlywed!billie who loves spoiling you. If you even so look at something for a second too long, she’d ask you if you wanted it. Even if you deny it, she’d get you it anyway.

- newlywed!billie who’s actually obsessed with playing with your hair. She loves how your hair feels like in her hands and how pretty it looks.

- newlywed!billie who would fly you out to every tour destination of hers and ensure you wouldn’t feel lonely without her. She’d come back from a show and cuddle with you until you fell asleep against her chest.

- newlywed!billie whose love language is gift giving. She would get you flowers every week, and they’d be different every time. Roses this week, tulips the other. They’d always come with a gift too, like jewellery or chocolates.

- newlywed!billie who would post and pin your wedding on her public account, with the caption being something cute but slightly corny, or an inside joke of yours.

- newlywed!billie who insisted on taking you somewhere fancy for your honeymoon even though you swore you didn’t mind going somewhere simple. She’s the type to go somewhere like the Maldives, quiet and isolated, where the two of you could spend time together undisturbed.