My alone time is for everyone’s safety

Everyone needs three hobbies: one to give you carpel tunnel, one to leave you sore and bruised, and one for your distant relatives to insist you monetize

Jerking off. Falling down the stairs. Fixing the wifi.

im literally romanceslop, you only like me because you love me

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

you have to have a certain amount of dirty fast food cups in your room for your depression to become a problem in the eyes of your loved ones. even then, it’s less of a depression problem more of a you problem

Diva down

[one single bloodcurdling agonized scream] ok time to lock in

‘the protagonist should be endearing and relatable’ the protagonist should make the audience scream and start banging on the one-way glass of the fourth wall. the protagonist should burn their entire life down and make the world’s worst sandcastle from the ashes. if they aren’t the cause of at least 50% of their own problems what are we doing here