i'll be waiting

my condolences to anyone who’s ever lost me and to anyone who got lost in me or to anyone who ever felt they took a loss with me. my apologies. for the misunderstanding or the lack thereof. i’m sorry you missed the God in me. and i’m sorry you missed the light. i’m sorry you forgot the way i arose like the moon, night after night. with the burden to forgive eager to feed you everything. see.. i’m a holy woman. i know what it’s like to give life to a being without ever needing to press skin against one another. i’ve practiced how to hold my tongue long enough, i’m afraid i forgot to say goodbye. i’m afraid you’re under the impression that i was made to please you. i was under the impression, you understood me better. the truth is, i’m a super woman. and somedays i’m an angry woman. and somedays i’m a crazy woman. for still waiting.. for still loving harder even if i’m aching. for still trusting that I’m still worth the most. for still searching for someone to understand me better.