Recovery?

The nurses let me go outside to take fresh air, this morning was different, I listened one new song of Coldplay (my favorite band) when I woke up, and I don’t know why, but hits different now.

Specifically the quote: “is anyone out there, I’m close to the end

Is anyone out there…

I just need a friend.

3 moths ago

I met another girl and she was really nice to me, and gave me all the love that I didn’t receive, so I was like “ok, I think is my time to be happy”

But there was a problem, my heart, I couldn’t feel anything for anyone, like if I was in protection mode, because I didn’t want to be hurt again

The time passed, and she was feeling a lot of things about me, but I didn’t feel the same, or well, the same intensity, but I was like “what is wrong with me, I need to live her she is the one”

Then she told me that she is moving to other country and In that moment, I got so scared, because I can’t handle a distance relationship, and I told her but she told me: “then let’s enjoy the time left together “

I was not sure but, I couldn’t broke her heart with a no, so I said yes, and we “tried” but then l, couldn’t handle it anymore, I thought that I was hurting her because I couldn’t show her my entire love and she was so sad for that.

So I told her that we need time alone, she said yes, so we started, but 3 days ago, she send me a message that broke me “you’re a bad person, cause you played with me, why you didn’t told me that you didn’t wanted anything in the beginning, why till now?”

I told her all in this text, that I didn’t wanted to hurt her feelings because she is a good person and I’m a mess at the moment

So she told me that she didn’t wanted to know about my existence anymore, and block me.

So in conclusion

I was seeking love of other person, because I always give love, but no one loves me back, and the last time I loved someone she broke my heart in a lot of pieces, so I was like this is my moment to have someone that really loves me, and then this happen

So I was tired to being alone, to feel alone, to can’t share my passions with anyone

So, I made it…

But you know, I regret at the last time so I call for help to my parents so here I’m.

You guys, are all I have left, can I share part of my life with you?

And am….

I was on a relationship where my girlfriend was always sad and I was always there for her, I always tried to make her laugh, to sit by her side just for listen to her, I always tried to look for solutions, but always is the same

When we are having good time, in a moment she start to feel sad and I know, there’s nothing wrong with that, but, it’s a little bit exhausting for me, cause I put all my feelings there, and I don’t know, I don’t know if I’m a bad person because I can’t do more for her

I don’t know if someone is going to be for my as I’m always be for everybody