HEART / SHOWN

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒃𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒆𝒑 — as the wind slips through all the cracks and holes in this forgotten house they've sheltered in for the time being. But the chill that Lori feels is deeper than just the weather, everything has changed. They had settled into life at the farm, they fell into the comfortable routine there and Lori had allowed herself to believe that they would be okay. She'd let herself think that maybe this world was one that she could bring another child into, that they could somehow make this nightmare work and there would be some new semblance of normalcy found there. But she'd been wrong and now, more than she would admit out loud, she was terrified and the quiet that came with the night only encouraged her to spiral in on herself until she was full of an internal storm of worry.

Carol's voice pulled her from her thoughts and the weather seemed like such a trivial thing to talk about in the grand scheme of things. But maybe this is what she needs, to focus on something small and unimportant at least for the time being so that she didn't lose herself to the fear inside of her chest.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒖𝒏 𝒄𝒍𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏 — as sweat beaded and gathered everywhere. Everything stuck to her body, her clothes, the dirt, her hair, bugs. Lori tried to make the most out of their situation. No amount of complaining or wishing would make things any different, so she'd grin and bear it as she sat with the bowl of foraged food in her lap, sorting for their next meal.

(      *    i.       heartshown asked:      “ okay, let’s talk this out. ”

                         baseball   hat   sits   on   top   of    raven   soaked   strands    …   exhausted  ,     he    returned   from    the    small   town   with    the   others   but   this   time    it   was   a   request    from    lori     . .   though    after   reading    the    slip   of   paper.     he   was    a    little    confused       “    why    didn’t   you   ask    rick    earlier    ?    did    you   want    me    to       talk    to    him   ?    ”   prepared   to   go   after    the   other   ,   he   stops   …   as    she   cuts    him   off    from    the   path   to   the   house.    “    lori  ?  ”    it   dawns   on   him  ,   maybe  it   was   something   she   didn’t   want   rick   to   find   out   but   why?

𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒐𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕 — at even the mention of telling Rick. 𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝘩𝑖𝑚 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤. 𝐶𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝘩𝑖𝑚 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤. The voice inside of her head chants as she tries to steady her breathing before closing in the distance. This is her burden to carry, her secret to keep but she's set this into motion, placed this in his lap and now she has to tell him more than she wanted anyone else to ever know.

“ who do you think you are? “

“ wait , did you just say you love me? “

“ please just … leave me alone. “

“ i’m so happy! “

“ is this a gift for me? “

“ hey! i’ve got something for you! wait right here! “

“ i love you. “

“ shut up! shut the fuck up! “

“ who told you that?! i didn’t say that! “

“ w — what? “

“ … i’m sorry. “

“ what? ME have a crush on YOU? whaaaaaat?! haha! what? pfft … shut up! “

“ bitch , guess what? “

“ oh my god … “

“ fuck you to fucking hell! “

“ man … go to hell. “

“ what did you just send me? “

“ what did you just say? “

“ they’re totally checking you out right now. “

“ jealous?! i’m not jealous! “

“ are you jealous? “

“ wow … you’re hot when you’re angry. “

“ wow … your smile is breathtaking. “

“ you’re so stupid. “

“ okay! that’s it! put your dukes up! “

“ you don’t want me. “

“ question , you’re not dating anyone , are you? “

“ let me take you out on a date. “

“ i swear to god i’m going to scream at the top of my lungs. “

“ no! don’t tickle me! “

“ i’m not good for you , trust me. “

“ no offense but i’m out of your league. “

“ so , how does it feel to know me? a blessing , isn’t it? “

“ … why does this card say ‘ happy 3rd birthday ‘? “

“ so what will it be tonight? “

“ please , let me listen to celine dion in the dark in peace. “

“ i don’t love you. “

“ you don’t love me. “

“ … is there something you want? “

“ you know , you’re really cute. “

“ god , just let me fucking love you , you idiot! “

“ shh … don’t cry. “

“ i just feel like everything is falling apart. “

“ DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! “

“ hello darkness my old friend … “

“ so … do i get a goodnight kiss? “

“  i wish i knew how to talk about it.  ”  

“  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ” 

“  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”  

“  i wish i could hate you. ” 

“  take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while. ”

“  i need you to trust me.  ”  

“ i missed/miss you. ”  

“  she/he won’t listen to me. ”

“  let me do this for you. please.  ” 

“  is there anything else you want to say to me?  ”

“  tell me something happy. ” 

“  promise me.  ”

“  i just want/wanted to help.  ”  

“  let me explain.  ”

“ i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me. ”  

“ i’m on your side. ”

“ i’ve got your back, okay? ”

“  please, tell me you have a plan. ”

“  stay with me tonight. ”

“  don’t go. please.  ” 

“  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be. ” 

“ talk to me.  ”  

“ i did what i had to do.  ”

“  we can’t keep going on like this. ”

“ i’m just tired.  ”

“ i’m scared.  ”

“ it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it.  ”

“ it’s better to expect disappointment. ”

“ hope is dangerous.  ”

“  i like seeing you smile. ”  

“ you look beautiful.  ”  

“ be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ”  

“ i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ”

“  i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up.  ”  

“  have a drink with me.  ”

“ she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice. ”

“  you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ”

“ can i help you?  ” “ i thought you’d like this. ”

“  do you wanna get out of here?  ”

“  walk with me?  ”

“  well, shit.  ”

“ change isn’t easy.  ”

“  i just wanted to say i’m sorry.  ”

“  i guess being angry was/is just easier than being sad.  ” 

“  what did you want to tell me? ”

“ it was supposed to be simple.  ”

“  you’ve got blood on your shirt. ”

“  you can stay with me.  ”

“ what did you want to show me?  ”

“ i miss ____ more than i thought i would.  ”

“  i don’t like to talk about it, but i wanted you to know.  ”

“ shut up. please. ”

“ fuck off.  ”

“ hush, i’m trying to kiss you.  ”

“  you’re lucky you’re cute. ”

“ i fucked up. ”

“  i just want to take it all back.  ”

“  i can’t sleep.  ”

 “ can’t sleep?  ”

“  we should get a pet. ”

“  if you have something to say, spit it out. ”

“ i’m allowed to be angry.  ”

“  she/he aint even that cute.  ”

“ just hold me. ”

“  do you want me to go?  ”  

“  i just need time.  ”

“  i already made my decision, you’re not going to change that.  ”  

“  nothing you can say will surprise me. ”

“  everyone leaves, eventually. either they move on or they die. they leave and i’m left behind.  ”

“ death is a part of life. i accepted that a long time ago. ”

“  i don’t fear death. i fear anonymity. ”

“  listen to me, please.  ”

“  i’m not even sure what to say to that. ”

“  that should probably shock me, but honestly it doesn’t.  ”

“ am i supposed to care?  ”

“  i do care. ”  

“  you make me happy. ”

“ you look beautiful like this.  ”  

“  if this is your idea of fun, i don’t know what to say to you.  ”

“ it terrifies me. ” 

❛  i know how hard this is for you, but i'm here if you need anything.  ❜ ❛  you did everything you could.  ❜ ❛  honestly, it's impressive that you're still standing after everything that has happened.  ❜ ❛  you're allowed to feel sad about this.  ❜ ❛  i wish you'd told me sooner. you need me and i ... i'm so sorry.  ❜ ❛  i know you feel like giving up right now, but it's not gonna solve any of your problems.   ❜ ❛  i don't know how you do it. if it were me, i don't think i'd have been able to get out of bed today.  ❜ ❛  i would like to know what i can do to help.  ❜ ❛  it's totally natural you feel this way.  ❜ ❛  i feel for you. this sounds like an impossible situation.  ❜ ❛  i know it feels like no one understands, but i'm listening now.  ❜ ❛  is there anything you need? anything i can do for you?  ❜ ❛  if it were me, i'd be upset too.  ❜ ❛  come on, talk to me, please. i can hear it in your voice that something is wrong.  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry you are going through this. no one should ever have to go through something like that.  ❜ ❛  i can't even imagine the pain you must be in right now.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could make it better.  ❜ ❛  if you need someone to talk to, i'll listen.  ❜ ❛  thank you for trusting me with this. it really means a lot to me.  ❜ ❛  i understand how hard it is to talk about, but i promise you'll feel better after you've opened up to someone.  ❜ ❛  how are you feeling? do you need any help?  ❜ ❛  you are so brave, and i'm incredibly proud of you.  ❜ ❛  what do you need?  ❜ ❛  i'm here for you. no matter where or when i'll always be here for you.  ❜ ❛  i can't believe how strong you are, this must be taking everything out of you.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how you do it. how are you able to stay so strong when everything around you is falling apart?  ❜ ❛  this must be so confusing and frustrating for you, and i wish i could do more to help.  ❜ ❛  you're managing this so much better than i ever could.  ❜ ❛  i can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling, this is just awful.  ❜ ❛  you have no idea just how many people are rooting for you.  ❜ ❛  you're so strong for everything you've been through.  ❜ ❛  i care about you, and i want to help you ... if you let me.  ❜ ❛  i'll make sure you'll never have to go through anything like this again.  ❜ ❛  i don't know how you feel, but i want you to know that i care about you and am here for you.  ❜ ❛  it's okay if you don't want to talk about it. maybe we can just sit here for a while instead.  ❜ ❛  you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. but i'm here for you when you decide you do.  ❜ ❛  whatever you need, i'm just one phone call away.  ❜ ❛  how are you holding up?  ❜ ❛  you're gonna get through this. i believe in you.  ❜ ❛  i promise you, it will get better after time.  ❜