* ` a scattered dream.

  ❛  my friends are my power !  ❜

they don’t miss it.    for a second,    they see the faces of everyone they’ve lost──    everyone who had disappeared on a mission──    they see their own face.    myrl casts their gaze to the floor,    unable to look any longer.    “    right,    ”    they say,    &.    their heart stutters in pain.    (    a dissection would reveal each tight-knit memory,    each fragment they hold so dearly.    )    “    it never gets any easier.    but it used to be easier.    ”    everything used to be easier.    ( everything is easier said than done.    )    anger to darkness    /    fear to darkness    /    a missing ache is a fissure for darkness,    &.    no matter how hard they try,    it keeps on growing.    “    chirithy used to help me    [ … ]    ah!    do you know what a chirithy is?    ”

“ …  you really think so? “   mumbled more to himself than sora,    sapphire gaze fixated on his flexing hand.   emotions  …   they always evaded him.   sure,   he could laugh or smile,  but part of him always felt  …   EMPTY.   like a husk;   an empty shell just waiting to be filled.   “ it’s just   …   i don’t know what to look for,  or what i’m meant to feel. “    he looks up to his other now,   a pitiful expression smeared over his face.    “ …   what do you look for? “

     what do you look for? it’s a question that leaves sora paused, has the boy turned hero turned monster turned martyr looking for a proper answer to give. when sora sees the heart in something, what does he look for? when a bird takes flight, how do they know the wind will catch their wings? ❛  it’s not really something i look for.. but rather, i just know. when we laugh until tears start to fall, or when we get so angry that we lash out — that’s not you acting on the memory of my heart.  ❜ the eloquence of words wasn’t one of the many traits gained throughout his journey / all to evident in the way sora shifts uncomfortably where he stands.

“hm?” truth be told, he’d been kept up to date of all that had happened by the gullwings and their penchant for snooping – not that it’d been particularly difficult to discover. from the sounds of it, any kind of help in the search had been welcome. “upset? no – i’ve seen worse.” there’d been longer silences, lonelier existences. if anything, he was more glad to see the boy safe. “even so, welcome home, sora.”

“    wrong window indeed.    ”    hand on their chin,    the amused smile they give the boy is borne out of something like    …    nostalgia.    they remember sneaking around,    young as a bird    &.    far from night raven’s campus,    &.    lilia laughs at the memories.    it chimes against the high ceiling above,    something mirthful    &.    sweet.    perhaps she’s just in a good mood today;     perhaps she’s too curious for her own good.    “    if you’re looking for riku,    i’m afraid he’s out at the moment.    why don’t you come inside until he comes back?    the boy tells us so much about you──    i’m intrigued at who exactly could infatuate him so.    ”

     sora is never going to hear the end of this one. he can imagine riku’s expression already; eyebrows scrunched up and forehead all wrinkly, he’d probably give sora a look that promises a lecture whenever they find the moment to be alone. it would probably be smarter to come back later / to scramble down the wall and scurry back towards his own school —— but sora would be a liar if he said he wasn’t curious about the students here! maybe that’s why he does end up making his way inside the room, eyes never really leaving the other.. just in case! riku had mentioned the students here don’t really play nice with kids from royal sword.. but well, sora could trust riku’s house! right? 

wait. 

well,    riku’s glad sora hasn’t figured out about his nightmares    &.    the dream eating just yet, but when he had gave the other good dreams    …    he hadn’t expected this.    “    …    you had a dream about me?    ”

“REALLY?!”  She’d half - expected a refusal, either because Klee’s too little or because big brother Sora’s too busy, but —— oh, this is so fun!!  She bounces in place, arms flapping at her sides as she chirps, “YAAAAY!  I find LOTSA lizards by Starfell Lake, so let’s go there first!”  She grabs his hand in her tinier one, tugging him along (  still bouncing all the while  ) towards the gate out of Mondstadt.  “Oh!  And, um, if you promise not to tell big sister Jean, I can make us some fish!”

the words make him laugh──    not spitefully,    not yet──    something quiet    &.    heavy hearted.    trapped would be the right word,    he thinks,    but he wasn’t in the beginning.    wasn’t until that man had──    “    i told you,    didn’t i?    ”    i accidentally wandered into this place,    &.    went through some trials.    yozora’s eyes fall to his lap,    gaze soft──    fond──    of the bits    &.    pieces of his memory that remains.    strelitzia clings to her kindness;    yozora clings    …    to whatever he can.    “    i don’t even exist,    to most of the people here.    ”

it’s a simple fact    /    he doesn’t mourn,    isn’t sure if he can    /    it sounds sadder out loud.    a hand pushes his bangs back,    &.    for a moment,    he’s──    tired.    exhausted,    in a way he hasn’t felt in a long time.    (    it evaporates almost instantly,    a ghost of a memory of a feeling.    )    “    it’ll be worth it,    in the end.    if she’s really here    …    ”

     well, that was a curious response. head tilts to the side to allow for a better window of viewing / an attempt for sora to understand better who his capturer was — it dawns on him that yozora hadn’t answered his question. ❛  you don’t exist here, but.. there’s gotta be somewhere where you do exist, right? even if you don’t remember it.. you have a place to call home, too.  ❜ mind thinks of the lone star, awaiting her opportunity to seize the freedom that evades her; yozora would exist to her.

“And I suppose that’s why only one of us is a famed actor.”  Despite his best efforts, there’s a note of furious discomfort in his voice, however restrained it may be; to be told that all you’ve worked and sacrificed for, all you’ve sought after and been raised to do, is dumb of course stings.  Self - harm through disordered eating is dumb, but there’s rarely much other choice in this industry.

he regards the boy skeptically for a moment,   eyes narrowing before :   “ … alright. “ 

with a small smirk in place,   the buster sword is removed from its place upon his back.  “ if you really think you can handle it. “    and just like that,   it’s held just above his waiting hands before carefully being deposited into them. 

     you know? sora isn’t too sure he likes that smirk on cloud’s face! oh yeah, he absolutely picked up on that detail ( it’s because cloud is always so grumpy, that when a smile breaks through the ‘ i’m too cool to look happy ‘ facade he has going on? it’s something like a miracle! ) he even has to fight back the urge to scoff and laugh — if you think you can handle it. who did he think he was? sora’s probably carried plenty of stuff heavier than the sword!