Nature’s Mockery

We ended things, though we were never together and I knew it would never work.

But all I can think about, when the wind pierces  my skin like cold nails and the tears fall down my face is being back there.

At the beach celebrating my birthday, eating my new found favorite food that they showed me, listening to the waves, feeling the mist from the ocean even though we were so far away. And most of all their warmth radiating off them, it was so cold,

Their lips connected with mine and everything felt alright, I felt loved. I felt celebrated.

My only Happy birthday.

In a situation (that I created) where I don’t know how to feel.

I wish I had someone who knew me that I could talk to but, they’ve ceased all connection with me. I wouldn’t be surprised if they threw everything I ever gave them, out. I wish I could forget them but I hope I haunt them.

It’s a shame I love so much, i wish I could just say sorry for wanting them like a lover. But I shouldn’t keep bringing it up. Three texts was enough.

At least I stopped having terrible nightmares and what if dreams but they linger, the dead horse will always be beat.

And oh dear lord how life repeats.

My brain looks like dense fog, with my memories being faint bright lights and the fog being my constant overthinking.

Anyways probably posting too much for one night but my head is so full

I miss when I was an artist, before faces started to distort (I went insane). recently I had an idea for an oil painting, hopefully it comes to fruition. My motivation is at an all time low but I miss being creative, my hands shake with desire (as they usually do,,, essential tremor lol)…

Ps: I have a stomach ache,, oh dear lord I hope I overcome this.

Almost the same cadence too.

This life is so lonely, probably cause I made it that way.

(Pondering by the pier)

Rainy day at Knotts with someone whom I love but doesn’t love me the same… how do I get over this… how do I try and move on? My heart is so full it’s overflowing, I yearn for things I can’t have

I yearn for the things I can’t have.

First post, just testing the waters :3

I haven’t posted on a social media in forever!!!