“ spare me your malcontent! ”
“ I will not hear your siren’s song! ”
“ in all my ___ years never have I seen such petulance, such disregard, such decay! ”
“ I have toiled with beasts of smoke and fire all my life, sir! ”
“ I am the smoke! ”
“ bartholomew chungus gingersnap the third? what happened to my friend? ”
“ you smooth-brained harlequin! ”
“ summon the alchemists and the dark arts wizards, I shall resurrect him! ”
“ I have played diablo two and I am in third grade, sir! I think I can fool death! ”
“ I awoke and chose violence! ”
“ the pavement was the victim, I am the victor. ”
“ bandage me in silk and I shall ride again! ”
“ the hornets of hades hath descended upon me! ”
“ I AM THE DRAMA! ”
“ I do not require a companion in my crusade of contempt! ”
“ I shall not share with this parasitic leech inside you now, they shall earn their keep and be my squire! ”
“ at sixteen I am emancipating myself and joining the french foreign legion as an airborne engineer. ”
“ intercourse for fun? are you insane sir?! ”
“ this is my home now, you’ve made it so, and it shall be my tomb! ”
“ I AM TRAUMA! ”
“ poseidon himself could not quell this arid desiccation of bread! ”
“ here lies ___, death by crust and parental neglect. ”
“ we are going to taco bell! the crunchwrap supreme shall cure this insult! ”
“ you have no power here, sir! you have no power! ”
“ what a valuable lesson I’ve learned here today: trust nothing, betrayal is forever! ”
“ summon the grenadiers and a battering ram! ”
“ if I’m in here long enough, you may need to supply me with chocky milk under the door through a straw. ”
“ oh okay well my name’s ____ but you can call me tyrannosaurus marcus aurelius junior! ”
“ self-appointed suitors to deprave an innocent soul of their nuggies?! ”
“ I am endeared to no one! ”
“ it is a most auspicious day to be beset by the multitude of your grace. ”
