I M P U R I T Y

"You don't want to be this tall, sister, it's inconvenient. Besides, it would be such a tragedy if I couldn't pick you up anymore."

They place their hand on their hip after that and feign a sorrowful look as best they can. They admit, they didn't know this part of them really existed, and they find they're conflicted about whether they should be indulging like this, but...

"Hmph, perhaps you are right. It would be embarrassing trying to navigate through the tunnels and getting stuck. Ghost has done that enough for us all when they first molted."

That had been hilarious honestly, and she had teased them so very often afterwards. Perhaps she should tease them lightly again... Perhaps it would help them feel better. That or bringing the three little ones to visit soon. Hornet then catches what Pure signs at the end and blushes with an amused huff.

"That was the only time I could rest. I cannot tell you how much I worried over you every time you slipped off."

Still though, the Vessel huffs back at her words, but leans into the touch when she rubs their horn with a quiet purr. They weren't going to argue with their sister. They may not agree with her, but now wasn't the time for that. Instead, they lift their head, and for a hardly expressive creature, they look almost smug in that moment.

"Don't know about just like you. I'm not short enough."

When she hears that huff she almost speaks again to further dispute that but thankfully she kept her mouth shut to not interrupt Pure enjoying the gentle rub to their horn. They so rarely purr at anything that she didn't dare to stop this enjoyment. Then to her great confusion they look smug as they sign and it takes her a few seconds to grasp that they had just teased her. However when she does get it she pouts and shakes her head before pointing at them when they stand up.

"I am not short! You and Ghost are merely giants! Just wait until I hit my growth spurt and I'm the same height as you! No, I'll be even taller."

"You don't want to be this tall, sister, it's inconvenient. Besides, it would be such a tragedy if I couldn't pick you up anymore."

They place their hand on their hip after that and feign a sorrowful look as best they can. They admit, they didn't know this part of them really existed, and they find they're conflicted about whether they should be indulging like this, but...

Once they do pull away, they chitter softly and shake their head. They couldn't blame her, of course they didn't.

"Don't be sorry. I understand."

They huffed softly, nudging their nuzzle against her forehead before their head cants to the side.

She giggles in the next moment at how they nudge against her again before reading their signs. A small huff forms at the way they refer to themself and she nudges back before replying.

"You are hardly a thing, Pure. You are a bug just like I am. A thing would not care that I was crying and sad and would not comfort me like you did now."

Still though, the Vessel huffs back at her words, but leans into the touch when she rubs their horn with a quiet purr. They weren't going to argue with their sister. They may not agree with her, but now wasn't the time for that. Instead, they lift their head, and for a hardly expressive creature, they look almost smug in that moment.

"Don't know about just like you. I'm not short enough."

They do no more than hold their sister when she cries, their normally churning Void calming down. They were a disgrace compared to what they once were, but they were not about to leave their siblings just because of their weakness. They didn't care how weak they were, they would give everything to protect their family. Nothing would take them away, not as long as they were alive.

Their shoulders shake lightly with a small, silent laugh as they nudge against Hornet before pulling back enough to look at her with a gentle smile. They simply offer a nod, a promise.

For now though she tries to not focus on that, just letting her pain and guilt out through her tears. It hurts less as she does and being held by her sibling helps as well. It was like when they were younger once more and things were all right in the world. She tried to focus on that for now instead of the pain and soon her tears slowed to a stop.

It helped too that she'd gotten Pure to laugh with her little quip, returning the nudge quickly before they pull away fully. She soon returns the little smile and nods in return. Good. Now if only they could get this promise from Ghost.

Once they do pull away, they chitter softly and shake their head. They couldn't blame her, of course they didn't.

"Don't be sorry. I understand."

They huffed softly, nudging their nuzzle against her forehead before their head cants to the side.

They were nothing to admire. Maybe not yet. If they can just...get better.

Even with poor sight, they'll always be perceptive and their sister seemed just about ready to break as she spoke. They can't blame her for the way she feels, but they can hate it. She never deserved to be abandoned like she was, even if unwillingly on their part. Letting out another soft huff, Pure shoves their nail to the side, disregarded as it falls to the dusty grass, and they kneel down in front of Hornet to be more at her level. They don't hold an anger as they look at her. Only a gentle sorrow.

"Don't be ridiculous, Hornet. You did save me. Would I be here if not for you? You are far stronger than you believe you are to be alive. I thought..."

They stop that sentence, they'd rather not say it. They didn't want to think about the sickly sweet ringing in their head, trying to convince them their sister was dead. In the end, they'd started to believe it. They'd never been so glad to be wrong.

"I am not...what I used to be. But as long as I'm alive, I will try to be. I am not leaving you again. None of us are leaving you."

The moment they stopped, they reached forward and pulled the weaver into a gentle embrace, but firm enough to be a reassurance. They were not the powerful knight they once were. They were a fraction of it at best.

"... I suppose... I do not feel strong, Pure... I..." The desire to come fully clean about how she'd heard that sickly sweet voice in her dreams comes forward but she squashes it back down. They didn't need to know that, not now or ever. It would make them feel so much worse than they already do. "I perpetuated things, I killed those who could help, I killed our siblings...!"

There was an intense level of anguish in her chest over these things. She'd told herself that they were just weak, that this was a mercy compared to the fate that awaited them should they have tried to take Pure's spot. However, it was still her family that she killed and it still hurt her to admit. Hornet sniffles as she finishes reading the signs and when she's brought into that embrace the dam finally breaks.

She's only allowed herself to cry in front of others a few times and most of the time it was when she was around Pure it seems. When they'd survived and kept surviving, when she molted and got her wings.... now.

They do no more than hold their sister when she cries, their normally churning Void calming down. They were a disgrace compared to what they once were, but they were not about to leave their siblings just because of their weakness. They didn't care how weak they were, they would give everything to protect their family. Nothing would take them away, not as long as they were alive.

Their shoulders shake lightly with a small, silent laugh as they nudge against Hornet before pulling back enough to look at her with a gentle smile. They simply offer a nod, a promise.

They huff softly and look away from her, because they don't think they can agree. There's nothing impressive about them right now. Maybe they weren't as pathetic as they used to be, but this was hardly something to be proud of. They were hurting, and they were weak, and that shouldn't be allowed of them. They do glance back at their sister when she comes closer, their gaze softening some. They do distantly recall. She was always a demanding little weaver, and they always found it endearing. What she says last though has them looking at her in confusion.

Why would she ever want to be like them?

"...You don't want to be like me, sister. I'm not what I used to be. I'm..."

Broken.

Hornet gives a little sigh to try and calm herself once more and she stands close to her taller sibling. There was a soft look upon her face to match theirs and it turns pained to see what they say. "Pure... Why wouldn't I want to be like you...? No you cannot train or fight for as long as you used to but you survived something all other bugs... including me... thought you would die to. You endured and survived a goddess's wrath for eons and you still stand here before me now. You are able to once again wield your weapon and are working so hard to better yourself to be like your prime. I admire that in you Pure."

She tries to not let her voice choke a bit as she talks and raises her hands to them, wanting to hold them but not wanting to crowd them. She knew that Pure was unused to much contact despite her best attempts when she was little to crawl all over them and get close.

"I need to confess that while you were sealed away, I wanted so badly to break those seals... to set you free so my last family member wasn't suffering so, the rest of the kingdom be damned, but... I didn't have the strength to do that. I couldn't... I wasn't... I wasn't strong enough to save you... Now I'm not even strong enough to help you how you need it."

They were nothing to admire. Maybe not yet. If they can just...get better.

Even with poor sight, they'll always be perceptive and their sister seemed just about ready to break as she spoke. They can't blame her for the way she feels, but they can hate it. She never deserved to be abandoned like she was, even if unwillingly on their part. Letting out another soft huff, Pure shoves their nail to the side, disregarded as it falls to the dusty grass, and they kneel down in front of Hornet to be more at her level. They don't hold an anger as they look at her. Only a gentle sorrow.

"Don't be ridiculous, Hornet. You did save me. Would I be here if not for you? You are far stronger than you believe you are to be alive. I thought..."

They stop that sentence, they'd rather not say it. They didn't want to think about the sickly sweet ringing in their head, trying to convince them their sister was dead. In the end, they'd started to believe it. They'd never been so glad to be wrong.

"I am not...what I used to be. But as long as I'm alive, I will try to be. I am not leaving you again. None of us are leaving you."

The moment they stopped, they reached forward and pulled the weaver into a gentle embrace, but firm enough to be a reassurance. They were not the powerful knight they once were. They were a fraction of it at best.

Poor as their sight was, their hearing was far better, and their head jerked towards Hornet when she approached. If only slightly, they felt that simmering in their chest ease at the simple sight of her. They let out a huff, forcing themself to stand straight, it's a miracle to them that they could do that at all now. They tried to hide the pain in their body, and they berated themself that they allowed a slight tremble to slip through. They released their hold on their nail, allowing it to remain embedded in the dusty ground so they could use their hand to sign less than gently.

Instead of focusing on that she focuses on the now to study their appearance. It was apparent they were hurting and tired but she doubted these factors were going to be acknowledged. Pure would train until they dropped had she not shown up to distract them. All the more reason she was glad to have dropped by unexpectedly then.

"Mmm, I was checking to see how reconstruction upon the Pilgrim's Way in Greenpath was going and decided to stop by."

They huff softly and look away from her, because they don't think they can agree. There's nothing impressive about them right now. Maybe they weren't as pathetic as they used to be, but this was hardly something to be proud of. They were hurting, and they were weak, and that shouldn't be allowed of them. They do glance back at their sister when she comes closer, their gaze softening some. They do distantly recall. She was always a demanding little weaver, and they always found it endearing. What she says last though has them looking at her in confusion.

Why would she ever want to be like them?

"...You don't want to be like me, sister. I'm not what I used to be. I'm..."

Broken.

Pure should be resting. They know they should, they were hurting. That doesn't stop them from practicing. Not lashing out in a fit of anger, no. They were trying to learn. Learn how to once again be elegant, precise, perfect. They didn't think it was possible with their poor vision, they have yet to figure out how to use many of their spells with their lack of both arms, but they were trying.

Why is it that they still try? Why when they know they were broken? Because, despite being ruined, they still had a job that only they could do. They had siblings to protect that no one else could if they were not here. If they were to die, what kind of a guardian would they be? They were broken, disgraceful, imperfect. That would not stop them from trying.

They were fed up, so fed up with being utterly useless. They were broken, and by the gods, they were hurting to the point their arm trembled as they carved a gash in a rock already having seen better days. But they have not felt so determined in eons.

Thus was she here, making as much noise as her normally quiet self could so that she didn't startle Pure too badly. Perhaps gratefully Hornet had found Pure after they'd been training for a while. While it wasn't good that they were forcing themself to train to the point of exhaustion, it did mean she might have an easier time convincing them to stop for now.

Poor as their sight was, their hearing was far better, and their head jerked towards Hornet when she approached. If only slightly, they felt that simmering in their chest ease at the simple sight of her. They let out a huff, forcing themself to stand straight, it's a miracle to them that they could do that at all now. They tried to hide the pain in their body, and they berated themself that they allowed a slight tremble to slip through. They released their hold on their nail, allowing it to remain embedded in the dusty ground so they could use their hand to sign less than gently.

Stressed out as they were, Pure still finds themself relaxing better with the gentle scratch to then chin, a quiet purr leaving them. They still felt uneasy, like they shouldn’t be reacting like this, but Hornet made it feel more okay. She always did, and they felt just a bit more like a bug.

They lift their head back and cant it lightly when their sister moves, and they stare in uncertainty. She’s already given them so much… It felt wrong to accept more. They surely didn’t deserve it. They definitely didn’t deserve any of it. At least, they really didn’t feel like they did. With some hesitance, they lift their hand to try and sign slowly, somewhat shakily. The ache in their side wasn’t helping.

“You…didn’t have to… You sure…?”

Of course they can guess the answer. It doesn’t stop the unnecessary guilt.

The weaver smiles behind her mask as she senses Pure relaxing at the gentle scratches she gave them. Hearing that purr has that smile growing. She always wanted them to feel more bug like and is glad her presence helped them obtain that feeling. Hornet looks over as they straighten up and look uncertain again and her gaze softens. 

“Pure… I know I didn’t have to but I wanted to. You’re precious to me and I want express that in they few ways I can. This way you can have a reminder that I love you when I can’t visit often.”

They respond with a soft chitter of their own, and nudge gently against their sister's hand before she moves it away. Then they bring their attention to the package that's passed to them, and there's obvious hesitation in them, even taking a small glance back to make sure it was really okay. She really didn't have to do anything for them. None of them did. They knew they couldn't stop them though. Their siblings were nothing if not determined. They do give in though, carefully opening the gift. It wasn't as though they could reject it, not when it was from their little sister.

A few soft chirps leave them as Pure takes a gentle hold of the fabric revealed. Their claws run over it lightly while they look over the obvious loving detail in the cloak, and their gaze softens in both guilt and warmth. She didn't have to go through the effort, just to make them feel better. That shouldn't matter. At the same time, how they did appreciate it. Their cloak looks awful, ruined, and how they've wished they could just tear the rest of it off. It never felt right to wear anything else unless it was given to them though. Even now, they felt unsure, but there was a spark of happiness too. No, they don't think they deserve it. They don't think this much effort should be wasted on something like them. Yet it made a small part of them feel so special.

A short flinch goes through them and their shell twitches at the knock, however light it is. An empty gaze meets Hornet as she enters the room, that slowly softens to a tired one. They still struggle more than enough with themself, to not default to voiding their emotions around even their own siblings. Neither wanted it of them, yet they themself still expected it, an instinct ingrained into them like a parasite.

Pure only breathes a quiet whistle when their sister sits next to them, and their tense plates try to relax with her there. When they weren’t frustrated, they were tired, and they did seem exhausted. Surprising to no one. The question has them shifting their gaze, hand twitching with the desire to respond, but they merely clench it in uncertainty. Instead, they only nod, however a lie that may be. Sometimes it was much more difficult to speak, in any way.

With a soft chirp, they lean down enough to nudge their head against Hornet’s gently in the best response they can manage at the moment.

They did miss her too.

It pains her to see that empty gaze at first since it told her much more than they ever would. They were so tired for some reason but at least the gaze softened. She smiles behind her mask at the quiet whistle, pleased to hear them making sounds at all. It was a struggle for them she knew. Hopefully her presence helped that struggle some.

Seeing them trying to relax as she sits by them makes her happy. Pure’s state of being was always very important to her after all. Granted this time it seemed like they needed a nap but she wasn’t about to try and force one… Yet. Hornet watches them as they debate on how to answer her question. Her gaze softens as they finally just nod to her, not offended that they didn’t have the willpower to sign to her. 

“I’m glad you’re well Pure.” 

She giggles at the gentle nudge as she returns it to them just as gently. One of her hands to scratch under their chin gently to show more affection. Remembering something the weaver pulls her hand back to reach under her cloak to hold a wrapped parcel. 

They lift their head back and cant it lightly when their sister moves, and they stare in uncertainty. She's already given them so much... It felt wrong to accept more. They surely didn't deserve it. They definitely didn't deserve any of it. At least, they really didn't feel like they did. With some hesitance, they lift their hand to try and sign slowly, somewhat shakily. The ache in their side wasn't helping.

"You...didn't have to... You sure...?"

The weaver was waiting patiently in the living room of her siblings’ home uneasily for some confirmation that Pure was home. Normally she wouldn’t be this nervous but she had dropped by unannounced and let herself in the house. Sure, Ghost never minded when she did that and even encouraged her to make herself at home but this was different. Not only was Clover here with their extreme dislike of her but Pure lived here too and may not appreciate her just coming in like so. What if she upset them? 

Thankfully though Pure’s trill cut through her thoughts to calm her a bit. Good, her sibling was home though it did sound like they were slightly strained. Perhaps it was just a bad day? Regardless she walks over to their door and gives a gentle knock, “I’m coming in Pure.” Naturally she would announce her entrance so she didn’t startle the Vessel. Hornet walked in and gave a little chitter in greeting as she approached and sat down next to them. 

Pure only breathes a quiet whistle when their sister sits next to them, and their tense plates try to relax with her there. When they weren't frustrated, they were tired, and they did seem exhausted. Surprising to no one. The question has them shifting their gaze, hand twitching with the desire to respond, but they merely clench it in uncertainty. Instead, they only nod, however a lie that may be. Sometimes it was much more difficult to speak, in any way.

With a soft chirp, they lean down enough to nudge their head against Hornet's gently in the best response they can manage at the moment.

“Nice”

They nod simply in confirmation with another slight of a smile. It was a nice feeling, that their little sibling had grown to be more comfortable with them so quickly. So okay with being this expressive with them. It’s something that made them actually want to be more expressive themself, act like more of an individual. That was something they tend to avoid, even just by ingrained instinct.

The wound stings still though and they quietly huff at it, bringing another handful of water up to dull the sharpness of the pain. How annoying, but it’s their own fault. They glance at Clover, feeling some guilt in their chest, because they can just tell their discomfort is obvious to the smaller Vessel. They wish they were better at hiding things. They turn their gaze away with a quiet chitter.

“I’m alright, don’t worry… It doesn’t hurt.”

A blatant lie, but how they hated to be worried for. They’re sure their other siblings would be fussing over them, or scolding them if they knew. They sigh inwardly at that.

Clover’s Void bubbles pleasantly at the confirmation that they were correct. They splash a bit in the water to visibly show that they were happy. Since they weren’t good with words yet, something Ghost suspects has to do with their head injury, the small Vessel normally uses more bodily expressions. They peep happily and tread over towards Pure to look up at them a bit better before circling around again. 

Hearing the chitter makes Clover look back up and listen to them with a small nod. Perhaps it just wasn’t a comfortable feeling and didn’t hurt? That was certainly better than hurting. They had no reason to think their sibling was lying to them so they just peep with another nod and treads back over to their sibling. They gently pat the other’s knee gently to show comfort. 

“Pure strong. Owies big but no hurt. Strong.”

The knight nearly jumps at the touch to their knee and looks down at Clover with a fair amount of surprise at what they say. It was a hard thing to process and know what to do with. This sibling was, in a sense, still very young. They couldn't argue with them, not like they've done with Ghost before. They didn't know better. They didn't know Pure, yet they spoke so sincerely. The bigger Vessel has to bite their metaphorical tongue and their gaze softens sadly, but they nod despite not being able to believe such words. They at least had to act like they did, as they tug their cloak to cover the injury to their side better.

"Yes... No hurt... Don't worry. I'm fine. Only tired..."

How they were always so tired. It was infuriating. This body demanded too much rest in its state, and their boundless stamina was cut so short now. They were once able to train for hours on end with no break needed. To need a break was to show a weakness. A flaw. An imperfection. One they couldn't afford. Not when they had to fight a Goddess for eternity.

A soft laugh leaves Pure at the clear irritation of the tiny Vessel, admittedly an even more rare thing from them. They understood that very well though. They always hated water, hated having their wounds tended to. They never showed it at first, of course, when they were freshly out of the temple. Not that they had the energy to complain anyway, everything had been overwhelmingly painful and draining that they had no time to process anything very well.

But, surprisingly, they were better now. Their wounds still weren’t completely healed, but they didn’t burn with the sun anymore. It was tolerable, most days. Carefully, the knight steps into the pool and sits down with a relieved huff at the feeling of Soul coming back to them. They weren’t the most keen on the spring, but at least it helped the pain. And Clover made it just a bit more entertaining. Seeing their small sibling swimming about brings a gentle chitter from them in amusement.

“See? Much better than a normal bath.”

They allow themself that bit of joy, before their attention drifts to the harsh aching in their side. Cupping some of the water in their hand, they bring it up to wash over the wound as they hold back a buzz of discomfort. They were fine. It hurt, but they were sure it was okay. They’ve dealt with far worse, this was nothing.

The small Vessel peeps and looks up at the laugh. It was the first time they’d heard the sound. It made them… happy. Yes, that was the emotion! It made them very happy to have made their normally very serious sibling so happy to the point of laughing. It made them very proud as well. Surely this was normally a difficult feat! 

Clover watched as their sibling sat down and seemed to relax a bit. Good. Their sibling had been hurting terribly they could tell. Pure had the same body language they themself had when trying to ignore their own agonizing wounds. They were relieved that the spring was easing the pain enough for the other to even barely relax. However, at the words they had to huff a bit and nod. This was indeed better than a normal bath. They didn’t have to get cleaned in here. 

“Better. No hurt. Feels… n-ni-ccce? Nice?” 

They nod simply in confirmation with another slight of a smile. It was a nice feeling, that their little sibling had grown to be more comfortable with them so quickly. So okay with being this expressive with them. It's something that made them actually want to be more expressive themself, act like more of an individual. That was something they tend to avoid, even just by ingrained instinct.

The wound stings still though and they quietly huff at it, bringing another handful of water up to dull the sharpness of the pain. How annoying, but it's their own fault. They glance at Clover, feeling some guilt in their chest, because they can just tell their discomfort is obvious to the smaller Vessel. They wish they were better at hiding things. They turn their gaze away with a quiet chitter.

"I'm alright, don't worry... It doesn't hurt."