Haz the Div

*Definitely not inspired by conversations I’ve had about Star Wars*

“What do you mean you never watched Star Wars?” Harrison asked surprised.

You had been going out for a few weeks, so you were still just getting to know each other. You hadn’t had the whole dating discussion yet, and you didn’t want to be the one to bring it up.

“Exactly that. Never watched it” You smiled at him, “But it’s on my list! You know, that long list of movies I’ll watch eventually, but probably never will”

“Nah love, I think this might be a deal breaker for me. Not sure i can date you anymore” For just a short second he looked very serious, but he couldn’t help himself but smile at you.

“Anymore? I wasn’t aware we were dating?” You said cheekily, but you could feel your heart beating out of your chest.

“Well. I mean. I just thought, you know. Uhm, I assumed. You know, because.. We’ve been hanging out quite a bit” He was getting so flustered, and suddenly looked shy, looking everywhere in the room but at you. “If you... If you want to of course”

“Then i better watch Star Wars, don’t you think?” You couldn’t hide the smile growing on your lips anymore. Harrison looked up at you, grin on his face. 

“Oh definitely. Might even need to do a movie night tonight” He suggested, a smirk replacing the grin.

“You think you’d actually manage to watch an entire movie this time?” You teased him, stepping closer to him, lips inches from his. 

“Not if you look at me like that i won’t” He bit his lip, shaking his head and you knew he was thinking about the last time you *watched* a movie together. 

“What are you gonna do about it then?” 

It is one of the rare times that i open Tumblr (Am i supposed to be revising, yes. Will I do doing that? no) and i want to write some short blurbs or even a little bit of smut? 👀

It is one of the rare times that i open Tumblr (Am i supposed to be revising, yes. Will I do doing that? no) and i want to write some short blurbs or even a little bit of smut? 👀

Oooo yes! In no particular order:

Part of your world by @hazssouthernbelle (Just started but its already amazing okay)

Unholy Divinity by @hazmyheart (it has Tom in as well but OMG its so gooodddd as is everything Mel writes!)

Unholy Desires by @osterfield-holland-andcompany (vampire!Haz? yes please) and also Bite me by @beautifullydisconnected because it’s also Vampire!Haz

Easier by @spidey-waffles11 (anything by Carrie is always amazing) 

The drawer of things you shouldn’t think by @hazthediv (one of my favourites!

Definitely check out all of these writers’ masterlists because they’re all amazing! 

@hollandorks

@lamptracker

@etudaire-writes

@hazssouthernbelle

@thollandss

@hazthediv

@aussie-holland

@toms-gf

@tomslovey

@sunshinehollandd

@mrs-hollandstan

@trashinaglass

@avengerscompound

Side note: I haven’t written anything in a while, so I apologise if this sucks!

It had been a week since you broke up with Harrison, and it had been tough. You were both working, which meant you hardly saw each other. If you were completely honest, you barely spoke or texted each other.

By the time you broke up, it didn’t feel like you were in a relationship anyway, so it wasn’t necessarily a bad break up. It had been more of a casual conversation, after a few weeks of frustration and annoyance towards each other. Whenever you did talk, there had been some kind of miscommunication, and you were both just growing frustrated and at the time it didn’t seem worth it to try and keep the relationship going.

At the time… Now it had been a week, and all you could think of was the good memories with him. How he kissed you for the first time, how he always grabbed your hand as soon as he could reach it, how he made you laugh whenever you were crying. All the good memories just kept playing in your head, and you couldn’t turn it off.

You were meant to go out tonight, find a rebound, find some random person to flirt around with, and maybe even go home with, but as soon as you actually got out you didn’t really want to be there. Just the thought of kissing someone else, made your heart drop.

You were craving some physical contact, craving someone’s hands on your body, or even just someone’s lips on yours. But not just any hands, his hands, his lips, his touch. Little did you know, he was craving your touch too.

Even though Harrison seems like he took the break up fine, like he had been expecting it, it had been killing him. For the past week, all he could think about was every way he had fucked up. How he should’ve made more time for you, how he should’ve known by how you were talking to him, how you were misunderstanding each other. He should’ve done something. He knew you weren’t happy, but he had kept telling himself it was only for a short while more, and then everything would work out. He just didn’t expect that he had accidently hurt you enough so you didn’t want to stick around anymore.

After a week, Tom had gotten sick of seeing his best friend completely heartbroken, so naturally he took him out for the night. Harrison didn’t really want to, but he didn’t really bother protesting either. Little did Tom known, that you’d be there too.

You saw Harrison before they saw you, and your heart started aching. You could see he wasn’t happy. His eyes were still a bit red, and there was no smile on his lips. He just looked tired, and you knew it was your fault.

You should’ve known he was pretending to be fine when you broke it off. Deep down, you knew, you knew before you broke up, but you had really thought that breaking up with him would make you happier, but now seeing how much you had hurt him, it was killing you. The guilt felt like someone had dropped a boulder in your stomach, and all you wanted to do was cry.

As you stood there, frozen in place, the guilt eating you up, he noticed you. Those crystal clear blue eyes caught yours, and you could feel the time stop. You could feel the air getting stuck in your throat, and it only took a second for your feet to start moving.

You had made so many mistakes in the past few weeks, but letting him go was the biggest one. You loved that idiot, even if you barely saw each other, even if he didn’t seem worth it, because you knew deep down that he was. He was always going to be worth it, because no one would ever be able to make you smile like he did. No one knew you better than he did, and no one ever would, because he was all you had ever wanted.

While you kept walking, he stood frozen in his place. All he wanted to do was hold you in his arms, tell you how much he loved you, beg you to take him back, but he couldn’t move. He didn’t know what to do. He had told you that you could still be friends, so he thought that maybe you were just coming over to say hi.

You didn’t look heartbroken, in fact you looked stunning. You looked good, better than you had done for the past few weeks, and Harrison couldn’t help but think that maybe it was for the better. Maybe he should hold himself back, and let you be happy, because in that second you looked like you were better off without him, and he was ready to live with a broken heart, if it just meant that you were happy.

“Haz?” You asked carefully as you came up to him. All the poor boy could do was look at you, and it made so much more nervous.

“Y/n. Shit, Haz I’m sorry, I didn’t know she would be here. Y/n, it’s nothing personal, you’re still my friend, but I’m gonna take Harrison with me out of here. I’m sure you get it” Tom said, ready to make a run for it with his friend.

“I’m sorry. I just… Sorry. I just wanted to talk to you, I guess” You said, already ready to retreat.

“Come on Haz, let’s go. You don’t need to do this to yourself” Tom said, but Harrison stood frozen in his place.

“I’m sorry. You were right. I should’ve tried harder, I should’ve done something. I knew you weren’t happy, and God, I should’ve tried harder to make you happy, because you deserve so much more than I was able to give you” He blurted out, his heart beating faster than ever.

“Haz no. I’m the one who’s sorry. I made the biggest mistake of my life about a week ago. I love you, and you do make me happy. I’m so sorry. I made a lot of mistakes with you, I know that, but I just love you so damn much. I love you too much to let you go” You confessed, keeping your eyes locked on his.

“Y/n, please don’t do this. Don’t break my heart more than you already have. Don’t tell me you love me, unless you’re gonna tell me you still want me, because I don’t think I can take it. So please don’t. I want to stay your friend, but you need to give me some time” Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes, and it was breaking your heart.

“I do want you. I gave up too easily. You might be the only guy who’s actually worth the hard times. In this week, i kept thinking of how goddamn happy you made me, and how I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love you, more than what should be possible. And I know it’s too much to ask, because I’m the one who messed it up, but can we just pretend like this week never happened? Like we never broke up?” You asked, tears in your eyes as well.

Ooo I haven’t actually read that much (definitely need to read more) but these are amazing:

Hammock by @hillsnholland

The Drawer of things you shouldn’t think of by @hazthediv

Sunkissed by @wazzupmrstark

Three’s company by @spidey-starks (This one is for both Tom and Haz, it’s amazing)

I’ve recommended some of these before but honestly they’re so amazing and so are the authors (go and check out their masterlists because I promise you won’t be disappointed) 

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?