Today felt pretty stressful. Morning was fine until an argument started, which isn't new. However listening to family talk shit/disrespect about another, especially the one who does everything just really makes you feel down. I've already been in a tough mental place for a month or two now so the stuff thats happening makes it worse. I wanna email a person that I know that can probably help get me off my feet but I'm too scared and lack the strength. Not to mention my pessimistic tendencies tell me it's no good cause the person will just put a front up acting like they care and rush me into things I'm not ready for. I feel a lot of it is my fault, I've ruined a lot of friendships in the past most being partially my fault, IRL and online, I don't have good communication skills cause I didn't grow up around any good examples, and I don't even get out much to meet/socialize with people.
I just hope it all gets better soon, I really don't wanna be/feel this way anymore, especially as I get older.
