☆ミHayden

you will truly never know me even if I befriend you

hello, I'm Hayden or starry, whichever you wanna call me.

I'm 17 years old and autistic

I use he/it/star/puppet/teddy/bear and am a gay asexual transman who uses xenogenders

I cuss a lot •_•

I'm a fictionkin and puppetkin, please do not refer to me as a human.

I'm a xiao(genshin) gachikoi and yaku(haikyuu) yumeshipper, nonsharing for both

I'm a reality shifter and have been for the past 5-ish years now! shifting to mainly genshin impact but also assassination classroom

I don't even know myself

DNI, pro/darkship, profic, loli/shotacon, or anything related to such, think mizuki from pjsk is a dude, more in my carrd

I can't tell if other emotions are mine or other alters bc I'm blank, like no full emotions, most the time, but then BAM!! tears, urge to yell or throw something, or BOTH

I can't seek help bc I'll just be told that I have no reason to feel like this, and it'll be ignored and dismissed. I just wanna sleep and rest for once and not be bothered. I wanna lay in a pile of blankets and not have to do anything or think about anything.

generally I hate people who act as tho respawning is a criminal offense, like no, I'm just trying to live a life I'm happy with and not feel like I'm in a damn cycle.

That being said, even if you want to post it anyway, please add at the very least a trigger warning. The cdd community is filled with traumatized individuals who may be triggered by detailed descriptions

Thanks, and I mean all of this will 0 malice

again, this is only a suspicion and also little thing, I am actively having to stop myself from constantly denying the possibility of me being a system bc I worry I'm gonna seem like one of those people who fake it just to be "quirky"

there's Rowan, who I think is a protector and anger holder, maybe? he appears when I get annoyed or upset, I assume bc whenever something happens, I sense a presence, and the anger doesn't feel like mine.

second is Vivienne, she appears whenever I'm doing something like self care(showering, brushing my teeth, ect), and when I'm getting ready to leave the house, also when im experiencing some sort of stress. idk if there's a label for that-

if I happen to decipher another alter, I might do a small intro, but idk, I don't really see this as a necessary thing, just something that helps me not feel left in the dark ^_^