HAVE GUN, WILL SHOOT.

      “Most people, probably! Y’kinda look like a sewer rat.”

“Yeah. That would kind of make people hate you.” And want you dead. 

Also why did this creature look like a Sentret?

“Guardian of the Galaxy?”

      “People that’re attracted to anthropomorphic animals. Y’know, like yerself.”

((fuckin fight him))

“So you like. Appeal to furries?”

“…what did you even do to tick them all off?”

“It’s called...being an asshole.

“… Well, holy shit. Can’t tell whether I’m more IMpressed or DEpressed.”

“With what species?”

“Soooo many. You got no idea, pal. Like a whole armada of exes who want me dead. You’d be surprised.”

He heard the fake words of concern through the cloud of penal pain. That son of a bitch… And then Travis felt it. He felt the tanuki- No… he felt the raccoon jump onto his collar. Trying to smash his face onto the ground.

Ground.

The raccoon was off the ground.

It… was vulnerable. 

“SAVE IT FOR YOURSELF, FUCKHEAD!!” Blindingly fast, Travis swung a fist upwards. Right. Towards. Raccoon. Cock.

Well, he really wasn’t expecting that.

Eyes went wide, ears drooped to the sides and that pain blossomed from the pit of his stomach and seemed to flourish outward throughout most of his torso. Tail curled and his eyes flicked toward him angrily, this almost being a rabid anger now. He kicked off the ground, made more pissed off by that pain as he was, after all, still clutching onto his shirt collar.

“ Huh. You’ve got a point. I often forget what’s considered farfetched and what isn’t. Don’t you worry your fuzzy head, though. It’s not your time yet. “

[ Following this statement, Death made a point to lean down and ruffle Rocket’s head just a little bit. She brought herself back upright, her usual little smile still adorning her features. There seemed to be no spooking her. ]

“ That’s not true and you know it. Even if you’re just trying to protect other people, it’s always about you, just a little bit. Without self given purpose, the living would just be random assortments of molecules hurtling through space. Life wouldn’t have much meaning. 

After a while doing this, I’ve learned that the living live for life because they’ve never lived any other. “

“‘ey! No touching, lady! I ain’t a damn dog.” He knew that likely wasn’t her intention but he’d bitten people for less. If he thought she was trying to mock him, he would already be lunging for her, probably. His hand came up to smooth his hand across the top of his head, ears pulling back slowly as he grumbled.

“They’re called AVIATORS, you asshole! Bet you’re just jealous they don’t make ‘em in your size!”

It certainly didn’t take too long for Travis to hear the telltale click of an empty clip. He smirked, right until the gun itself was sent flying in his direction. No problem that a simple side-swipe couldn’t take care of. “Hah! That the best you-” Travis stopped his taunting upon seeing that the tanuki was gone. Where-?

The pain. The searing, burning pain. Popcorn kettles exploding in a microwave. Travis was pretty sure he heard some sorta 8-bit jingle go off as he bent over to grab his nutsack. His poor, punched nutsack.

“Son of a… mother… You mother…fucking…!”

“Aw, man. That looked like it hurt! I’m so sorry.” There was no sincerity to his tone. Not even a sliver of any kind of compassion for what he’d just done to the man. It had been a cold-blooded nut shot. And as the man bent down to grab his abused sack, Rocket hopped up to grab the collar of the man’s shirt and give a firm tug downward in an attempt to smash his face down into the ground.

“ I can be completely explicit with everything if you’d like. Just say the word. “

[ At his question, Death simply shrugged, pocketing her hands in her jeans.The laws of the vast multiverse were strange, and Death tended to stick to her realm most times than not. ]

“ I wouldn’t know. I only know vague stuff about you guys. She’s a bit more involved and active than I think I’d ever want to be, but to each their own. 

You seem to be having a hard time believing I am who I say I am. “

“Yeah? Well, when someone comes up to you, namedrops you, and tells you they’re ‘Death’ it usually ain’t the easiest thing to believe. I’m not gonna tell you to start provin’ it because it’s kinda my goal to not let people die who don’t deserve it.”

P. lotor

Based on fossil evidence from France and Germany, the first known members of the family Procyonidae lived in Europe in the late Oligocene about 25 million years ago. Similar tooth and skull structures suggest procyonids and weasels share a common ancestor, but molecular analysis indicates a closer relationship between raccoons and bears. After the then-existing species crossed the Bering Strait at least six million years later in the early Miocene, the center of its distribution was probably in Central America. Coatis (Nasua and Nasuella) and raccoons (Procyon) have been considered to share common descent from a species in the genus Paranasua present between 5.2 and 6.0 million years ago.This assumption, based on morphological comparisons of fossils, conflicts with a 2006 genetic analysis which indicates raccoons are more closely related to ringtails. Unlike other procyonids, such as the crab-eating raccoon (Procyon cancrivorus), the ancestors of the common raccoon left tropical and subtropical areas and migrated farther north about 2.5 million years ago, in a migration that has been confirmed by the discovery of fossils in the Great Plains dating back to the middle of thePliocene. Its most recent ancestor was likely Procyon rexroadensis, a large Blancanraccoon from the Rexroad Formation characterized by its narrow back teeth and large lower jaw.“

“....”

“Vhyso  grumpy little one. Somethink must have have happened to make you so….Trigger happy.“