omega-3 verse

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

In a shit mood. Release the locusts

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

my couchsona

I would buy this and cover it in weird plush and sleep on it every night.

my new poker strat: start tearing up after looking at my cards no matter what i got

you ever think about how mr beast is real life monokuma

I believe Mr Beast is just itching for the day he can do a real death game. I think he constantly pitches it to his team and they just keep going "not yet, but soon"

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible