creating shiphaus trash, one post at a time

what is done has been done for the best though the mist in my eyes might suggest just a little confusion about what I’ll lose but if I started over, I know I would choose…

the fight continues to linger in miles’ brain. it’s been a couple of weeks since jeremy has come back and they’ve all made up and apologized, but it doesn’t stop miles from thinking about it over and over and over again. he can’t help but think of what adam said to him, what he really meant, how he really felt, and miles knows that deep down, it’s all true.

miles is a liability. he’s a distraction. he’s a ploy. he’s a trick. he’s useless. he’s careless. unnecessary, fights for the other team, he’s not one of them. so what in the hell is he doing? why is he sticking around? why are jeremy and adam even entertaining the thought that this can work out for all of them in the long run? why haven’t they just told miles the truth yet? the end of this is inevitable, it’s around the corner, it can happen any time, and miles just has to be ready.

after waiting around for two weeks, he decides he’s just going to do it.

it starts slow - him, falling away from the guys. he does his best to make them think he’s okay for now, but still starts to pick up extra shifts and work overtime at the station. the money doesn’t hurt (although jeremy’s been casually tossing out the idea of miles just ditching his apartment and alternating staying with them - as if that doesn’t sting more, as if that won’t get him into more trouble or put them at risk or something worse) and miles does have some serious work to do that he’d backlogged recently due to their reunion with jeremy.

just thinking about that time breaks his heart. a time where he only had kyle to fall back onto, but he still couldn’t express himself fully, lest he put all of jeremy and adam’s friends in danger. miles doesn’t have a group of friends like that, he doesn’t have a gang that’s promised to stick with him until the end of time, no matter what. he has kyle, the only trustworthy person he knows, and he’s stuck in a precinct full of bigger crooks and thiefs than the ones they’re “supposed” to be fighting.

the loneliness takes hold fast, but miles can be a pretty good actor once he puts his mind to it.

he starts denying invitations to adam and jeremy’s apartments. sporadically, at first, then uss the excuse that he has to stay home and get work done since they didn’t like the fact that he was at the station all the time and couldn’t get a real night’s sleep. this determination goes further than his stubbornness, than the one he dealt with when he and adam fought - this will go on for as long as it needs to. hopefully, he’ll just be transferred to another police station on another side of town, another part of california, anywhere just to stay away and keep them safe like he’s supposed to be doing.

miles goes out of his way to ensure that his apartment doesn’t look like a homeless person broke in and started living there. he keeps up with cleaning, has real food in his fridge, does his laundry, and everything that he needs to do to create the illusion that he’s fine, totally and completely fine.

adam and jeremy notice when it’s starting to become a problem. miles stays as neutral as possible whenever he thinks they’re going to confront him about it. but he’s doing it right, miles is doing just enough to make them think that everything’s fine, that they’re all fine, even though he’s pulling away faster than they know how to handle. it’s exactly what miles wants. soon, they’ll realize it’s what they want, too.

his routine is bland, boring, and his mind is a steady, numbing buzz that doesn’t go away. he volunteers to do menial office work, as long as it keeps him off the streets of possibly running into any of them, and he knows that there’s no way any of them are able to come and visit him at work. if he’s not out patrolling the streets with some free time to spare, or if he’s stuck at home doing paper work, who would suspect a thing?

well, some people start to suspect - more than just jeremy and adam.

a surprise visit from michael and jack at his apartment on a wednesday night is certainly not what he was expecting, but it’s what he gets.

it seems like everyone and their mother know how to break into his apartment, since miles had no idea anyone was even here until they open his supposedly locked front door and hurriedly stands from his couch to look over. michael storms in with rage while jack follows close behind, although not nearly as hostile as the former.

once the front door shuts with a resounding click, michael goes off. “listen, detective, i don’t know what your fuckin’ deal is, but you better get your shit together or we’re gonna have some serious problems.”

miles holds his hands out to the side, bewildered. “can i ask why the hell you two broke into my apartment first?”

“don’t play stupid, luna,” michael growls, “you know exactly what you’re doing and so do i, so does jack, so does every fuckin’ one of us except jeremy. because, for some reason, he thinks that you would never do something like this.”

his throat constricts at the statement. as dangerous as jeremy is, he does his best to see the good in everyone he’s assumed to consider a friend, or perhaps someone more. jeremy gives people chances. he probably shouldn’t have, not with miles, but he did. damn him. “i really don’t know what you’re talking about,” miles replies back, tone already irritated, “so now, if you don’t mind, i’d like you both to get out of my apartment and let me get back to work.”

“miles,” jack says softly, her sweet voice piercing through the intensity in the air that is michael’s rage. she comes closer to stand beside michael, putting her hand on his shoulder, and miles waches as michael visibly deflates a bit just because of jack’s calming touch. “i don’t know what’s going on with you and jeremy and adam, but there’s something. you should know by now that jeremy tells us almost everything. so when he tells us that you’ve just been… drifting away, what else are we supposed to think?”

“god, i don’t know, that maybe i’m a working detective for the city that you guys cause havoc in on a daily basis?” miles snaps. michael immediately tenses up again, taking a step forward to retaliate miles’ words, but jack’s hand on his shoulder tightens and he stays still. “some time apart isn’t going to kill us. hell, it may even be better. i’m trying to help you guys out, so maybe some gratitude would be appreciated.”

“gratitude? you want gratitude?” michael questions, voice getting higher. “yeah, we’re so fuckin’ glad that jeremy’s sulking around the goddamn base like he lost his puppy. we’re real thrilled that he and adam  can barely hold a conversation without it being real fuckin’ clear that all they wanna do is talk about you! but they can’t because you’re here, bein’ a goddamn dickhead, and they miss you!”

miles’s jaw clenches and he can feel himself grinding his teeth. the impending headache isn’t far away, but miles stands his ground. “i’m working,” he levels stiffly. “what i do in my own, personal time is no one’s business but mine.”

“you made it our business when you started fuckin’ around with those two,” michael hisses.

anger flares in his chest. miles wants to lash out wildly and scream that no, michael’s wrong, he didn’t want this - he didn’t want the two men he happened to fall head over heels for were both in the most popular gangs of los santos while he’s sworn his duty to protect the same city. he never asked for this and he never would. but it’s what he’s got and he’s got to deal with it in his own goddamn way, whether it’s to dig himself in deeper or to start climbing out. miles will make his own choice.

jack starts carefully tugging michael back towards the door. “c'mon, michael, let’s go,” she softly urges, hand moving down to grab his bicep so she can move them both. “they’ll figure it out one way or another, we can’t do anything else.”

michael huffs out a frustrated breath, eyes still locked with miles, who’s standing still right near his couch, eyes unwavering. michael looks like he wants to say more, but all he does is shake off jack’s hand and storms out of miles’ apartment without one more glance back. jack is the one who does look back at miles, but his expression doesn’t change.

the door falling shut behind her feels more like a goodbye than anything else.

another twisted turn of events brings bruce greene and miles luna to the same coffee shop right near the precinct.

miles is always a bit sparse with his meals lately. since he doesn’t smoke, he’s been using coffee to supress his appetite when he can’t bring himself to even think about making a meal. on overnight/overtime break, miles heads to the 24-hour coffee shop and takes a seat at one of the small tables with a sigh.

“mind if i sit here?” a voice asks above him while miles fiddles with his phone. before miles can even pick his head up to answer that yes, he does mind, he just kind of wanted to be alone, but thank you, his voice falls him as his eyes meet bruce’s. “detective luna,” bruce greets with a nod and a tip of his coffee cup, similar to miles’.

“what do you want?” miles sighs, as if that’s all he’s got left in him. he’s been working far too hard recently - with overtime, late nights, lack of sleep, minimal eating, plus another long list of issues - that he doesn’t have the time or energy to call in for back-up since the leader of fakehaus is sitting right across from him.

bruce takes a careful sip of his hot beverage before he answers. “what do i want,” he repeats back, letting out a sigh of his own. “god, loaded question, don’t you think?”

“could be simple,” miles replies with a shrug, “and quick. so you can… get going where you gotta go.”

“simple answers are always nice,” bruce nods in agreement. his fingertips tap against his cup and he barely gives miles’ time before he confronts him about it. “here’s a simple question that’s looking for a simple answer: what the fuck did you do to adam and jeremy?”

bruce’s voice is about as neutral as it can be, but still threatening nonetheless. this chills miles more than michael and jack breaking into his apartment, although that was already pretty messed up. bruce found him (followed him?) into a popular place and miles is sure he already has several different ways of escaping, if need be.

“i’ve just been working a lot,” miles confesses, gesturing to his blue uniform. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i was enjoying my lunch break alone.” his eyes trail back to his phone, but it doesn’t stop bruce from talking.

“there’s no excuse for a child who’s stuck in a man’s body, trying desperately to figure out what the hell he’s doing in a world like this because he knows he doesn’t fit in,” bruce snaps, although his voice is still clear as day. “have you ever considered the fact that adam - maybe even jeremy - doesn’t want you to fit into this world? it’s dangerous, miles, and you can get hurt.”

“i’m a detective for the los santos police department,” miles pointedly states, “i think i know i can get hurt.”

bruce scoffs. “yeah, but you idiots have rules. out there, there are no rules. there’s nothing. there are only two things you can do: fight or die.” he pauses for a moment, letting miles sink it in as he pretends to stare and scroll through his phone. “i know adam wants to fight. i’ve known that guy for more than half of my life and he may seem like a lot of things, but i know adam is a fighter. he wants to fight for me, for our team. he wants to fight for jeremy and his team. and for some inane reason, he wants to fight for you, and what the three of you all have.”

miles’ eyes shoot up to meet bruce’s, even though he tries to keep himself on the defensive side of it all. he opens his mouth to speak, but no words come out. there’s so much he wants to say, how to explain to bruce how much of a bad idea this all is and how it’ll blow up in everyone’s face. there’ll be too many people telling adam and jeremy i told you so like a bunch of children. it’ll hurt, deep down to the core, and it’ll take a long time.

miles doesn’t know how long he’ll last through that time.

“i’m more of a danger than anyone else,” miles comments. it’s meant to be a broad, wide-variety statement, and bruce nods in agreement. this is a discussion that’s been had several times and miles knows that everyone would agree with him - it’s just easier that way.

“how about you let adam and jeremy make that decision instead of making it for them, hm?” bruce questions, tapping the table twice with his knuckles before he pushes himself back up. “no matter what you think, it’s not your choice to decide what’s good or bad for them. trust me,” brue chuckles lightly, “i’ve tried for years to tell adam what to do, and look at him now.”

the soft jab makes the corner of miles’ tug for a fleeting moment, but he still doesn’t say anything. bruce doesn’t either. he’s said his piece and now he’s gone, letting the small jingle of the coffee shop be the last noise of bruce greene for the night, knowing he won’t be able to find him if he tried.

throughout the next week and a half, miles thinks a lot about this. but… at the end of the day, what’s there to think about when the people you’re looking for answers from aren’t around?

miles texts their group message with a simple come over and it’s barely fifteen minutes before they’ve arrived.

the second miles opens the door, jeremy crashes in like a wave and completely engulfs miles in his arms as tight as he can. adam, not too far behind, gets a better angle to get into the hug, but they stand still like that for a while. it feels too good, too natural to be standing here like this with the people that matter the most.

the night’s long and filled with soft sounds and all the right words, but not the ones at the time. they don’t want this to sit and fester and stew, not again.

“talk to us, miles,” jeremy pleads after all is said and done. his voice is tender, muffled due to the way his mouth is pressed to the dip of his neck towards his collarbone. “don’t let this happen again. tell us what you’re feeling, that’s what we’re here for.”

miles turns his head to press his nose into the colored locks. “i’m sorry,” is all he can whisper. “i don’t know what to say. i fucked up.”

“we all fuck up,” adam tells him, running his left hand up and down the softer parts of miles’ stomach. “but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix it. at least try and talk it out before you attempt to leave us again.”

it’s supposed to be funny, part of adam’s dry sense of humor, but it only makes miles nauseous. “i’m sorry,” he whispers again, voice cracking.

“so are we,” jeremy says, his body starting to relax and fall into a deep sleep.

adam’s not too far behind. miles feels both of their soft breathing against his skin. sleep comes easy for him this time around. there’s still the small, tiny inkling in the back of his brain, but it’s quelled for now, thanks to his boys.

tomorrow is a new day.

"you really can't make, like, a guestimate on how long this is all going to take?" miles asks, watching jeremy's pack a mix of clothes and weapons. he's certainly more of a worry wart than adam, but he's just more expressive about it, whereas adam will sit in silence and brood.

jeremy just shrugs, trying to keep this all lighthearted so they don't fret over him even more than they already are. "you can never tell how long a job is going to take, babe. it takes as long as it takes, until it gets done."

adam, who hasn't said much of anything ever since he got there, sighs and mumbles, "i still don't like that you're going alone. it's not safe."

"and it won't /be/ safe if i bring anyone with me, especially you," jeremy explains. "you know that. you mean something to me and the second they notice even a little bit of that, they'll do everything in their power to get you so it will get to me. and i refuse to risk that."

"i could make some calls to their police down there, maybe give 'em a warning about the people who are messing with you?" miles tries.

"the cops over there are the most crooked i've ever met," jeremy says. "if anything, that'll just make it worse."

the room is silent as jeremy finishes up packing. when he turns to look at his boys, miles is resting his head on adam's lap with his eyes closed while adam stares out the wall-sized window looking over los santos. they're upset and worried and jeremy knows it, but he also knows that they just want him to be safe. he wants the same, which is why he's doing this in the first place.

he crawls onto bed, the movement jostling miles enough to open his eyes and to make adam look at him, too. "please don't worry about it," jeremy says softly. "it'll be over before you know it."

"we're going to worry regardless, so that's a silly suggestion," miles huffs. it makes jeremy smile a little bit at his attitude--one of the many things that he loves about miles.

"it's stupid that i can't go with you. we could work something out," adam tells him. jeremy's smile grows--adam's persistence and need to be the protector is one of the many things that he loves about /him/.

"let's just take tonight to be together, alright?" jeremy moves miles first, gently pushing him onto his back and leaning over to pepper kisses across his chest, neck and face. miles is wearing one of jeremy's tank tops which hangs on him a little bit, but it always makes the heat in jeremy's chest stir with how good he looks in his clothes.

miles puts his hands on jeremy's shoulders to hold him closer, but still uses his smart mouth to reply, "you can try to distract me all you want, but that won't stop me from worrying."

jeremy chuckles against his jawline before giving it a quick nip and sitting up. "not trying to distract you. trying to touch you." he turns to adam, who's watching the two of them with soft eyes. jeremy leans over to give his freckled nose a sweet kiss, trying to coax him closer. "c'mon, babe," he whispers.

their night is long. jeremy makes it a point to take it slow, to make it feel like it lasts forever, to make sure that he touches each and every part of miles and adam's bodies. he'll miss hearing their voices, the sweet noises that they make when jeremy kisses, touches and holds them, but he has a responsibility to make sure everyone he loves is taken care of.

they're sleeping when jeremy carefully crawls out of bed to shower and get dressed. geoff's getting one of the b-team members to fly him out there and he's got to meet them at the airport within the hour. as he's getting dressed, he sees adam getting up out of the corner of his eye and immediately head his way.

"go back to sleep, baby," jeremy whispers before adam completely envelopes him in his arms. he squeezes tight and pulls back, cupping jeremy's face and kissing him like his life depends on it. jeremy kisses him back with all he's got, his heart aching at how this feels like a goodbye kiss, but he refuses to let it.

when adam pulls back, he mumbles, "fuckin' call us when you get there, and every goddamn night, dooley, or i'll fly out there and make you."

"i will," he immediately agrees.

adam lets go and jeremy follows him back to the bed, unable to leave before he kisses miles all the same. he feels bad waking him up, but miles gladly accepts his feverish kiss and mimics the same sentiment that adam demanded, "call us or else i'll send the whole police force after your ass."

"i will," jeremy repeats.

if we’re gonna go back to the beginning, then we’ll go back. it seems like it was a long time ago, but in reality it’s been about 6 months since this all started (miles is the only one who says 7 because of the month they spent flirting at the bar, but jeremy and adam disagree).

right, so–speaking of the bar, it was where they all met.

wait, okay, let’s go back a little bit further. to when jeremy and adam met.

which was also at a bar.

but this bar’s different. this bar is made for criminals like fahc and fakehaus, combined with a handful of other gangs that they sort of get along with as well as many other gangs that they don’t. it’s no secret that both fahc and fakehaus run los santos, but their policies, along with a select few other crews, are a bit different than a lot of the other brutes.

if they can help it, fahc and fakehaus don’t kill innocent people. bottom line. no witnesses, no civilians on the streets, no one who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. they’ll go out of their way to make sure the people who don’t deserve it are safe.

they try not to kill cops. it sounds silly, but they’re all practically marksmen at this point–they know where to shoot that won’t kill, but definitely stall. they’ve got snipers for a reason. and those who aren’t sure about their shots, well, they don’t shoot; simple as that. there’s quite rarely anyone who can’t shoot, but this rule is for instances like when someone doesn’t feel like they’re on their top game, whether they’re sick or nervous. they need absolute confidence and both geoff and bruce aren’t afraid to tell their crew no.

there are only two other crews that also follow this rule; blood money, a group of four girls who look too small to be harmful but can easily take out the best if they have to, and a gang that calls themselves the b-team–they work relatively close with fahc, so geoff instilled this rule and they don’t hesitate to follow it.

bruce and geoff go way, way back–bruce has been in los santos all his life with adam right by his side. when geoff came around and slowly started to learn about the inner circles of this life, he never failed to hear about bruce and adam. he wanted to start something here in los santos, he really did, but he didn’t have the hold that these two already had.

they met in a strip club, of all places, but it was for business. another crew (that’s no longer in ls) wanted to hold a meeting and geoff was working odd jobs at the time. of course, bruce and adam were there, and geoff kept a watchful eye on them. he wanted to see how they worked, how they managed their team, how they were just getting by with the two of them when geoff couldn’t even find one other person who was willing to join.

a lot of it was silent, long looks, short nods and small, but noticable facial expressions and twitches. bruce did all the talking while adam stood right next to him, arms crossed, broad and burly as he stuck his ground. to sum it all up, they got work done. these two got what they wanted and they did it well.

geoff had a moment to talk to them after the meeting was over and the former crew told everyone to enjoy themselves at the club. he made it short and sweet, said if they ever needed a third guy to help out, he’d be willing. bruce was friendly, but also professional. he accepted geoff’s phone number, told him he’d let him know, and the two were on their way.

the next day, geoff left los santos. he hopped around for a bit–liberty city, vice city, anywhere city, you name it. he felt a little lost, but then he met jack in san andreas and it went uphill from there.

it took some time to build up the crew he has, but goddammit, if geoff isn’t proud of the work he’s done–of the work they’ve all done. when they made their way back to los santos, bruce and adam were still there, but their crew got a bit bigger, too. it must’ve been almost fifteen years since the two saw each other, but when they ended up at the same bar with their respective members, bruce immediately approached geoff and held his hand out.

“geoff ramsey,” he greets confidently, a small smile on his face, “good to see you again. it’s been a long time.”

the fake ah crew hasn’t seen geoff warmly greet almost anyone (except for jack and griffon), but he doesn’t hesitate to put his drink down, stand up from his stool and gladly shake bruce’s hand in return.

“bruce greene,” geoff replies in return, “likewise, my friend. good to see you still around.”

“this city couldn’t get rid of me if it tried,” bruce grins. “so, are you back for good? or are you still hopping from city to city?”

geoff makes an ‘ehh’ noise, shrugging playfully and sliding his hands in his pockets. “all that travelin’ gets old. we’ll probably stick around here.”

when bruce takes a peek over geoff’s shoulder, he sees an interesting group of people in his company. he recognizes jack immediately; has heard a lot of stories about her (and geoff) and there’s no mistaking her. he’s only heard a few things about the rest of them, though, and they’re all looking back at him unwaveringly. good, bruce thinks.

“nice to hear,” bruce nods. “well, it was nice running into you, ramsey. i’m sure we’ll cross paths sooner rather than later. i’m sure we’ll all be mingling tonight, but stay in touch.”

“'course,” geoff agrees. “here, let me buy you a drink.”

their night is long and the two crews do end up mingling, as bruce said, and this is where adam and jeremy met. adam’s usually the strong, silent type, but there was something about jeremy that made him burst out laughing unexpectedly several times. he’s so used to bruce and james and elyse’s corny jokes that he never really reacts all that much. but jeremy truly made him laugh and, well, that’s kind of hard to do. it’s cliche and it’s silly, but it went from there–jeremy joked his way into adam’s head, his cell contacts, his passenger seat, the seat across from him at a restaurant, his bed, and his stupid heart.

it’s after the second time that jeremy leaves their penthouse in the morning (the walk of shame doesn’t exist in jeremy’s world–he’s proud to strut out of that place, sporting marks and hickies and scratches and ruffled hair while adam shuts the door behind him) that lawrence asks what he sees in jeremy.

adam shrugs and replies with a soft, “he’s funny,” before taking a sip of his coffee that matt prepared for him as he works to make their ritual sunday breakfast.

“god, kovic, if i knew it was that easy to sleep with you, i would’ve done it a long time ago,” james smirks.

“too bad you’re not funny,” adam replies back, causing an uproar in their kitchen with laughs and cries of disbelief.

when jeremy gets back to their penthouse, he gets the same question from michael and gavin. they’re much more pestering than fakehaus was being, but jeremy feels like it’s easy to brush them off and answer with a simple, “he’s nice. unlike you clowns.” and cue the similar uproar.

it escalates from there. of course, there’s nothing normal about this criminal bound relationship, but they make it work.

and then there’s miles.

when they met miles, adam thought it was a good idea to join the lads downtown to do some bar hopping. these kids make him feel old sometimes, but they can certainly be enjoyable at the right moment. jeremy makes it more bearable since he evens out the craziness that is team nice dynamite, so adam doesn’t mind standing there with a beer in one hand and his other near the small of jeremy’s back.

“i’m gonna grab another round, i’ll be right back,” adam tells jeremy, and even though michael and gavin are talking his ear off, he nods in response and glances back as to watch him go.

just as adam pays for their beers and goes to grab them, he’s roughly bumped into from behind, causing his arms to jerk forward and knock all of the beer bottles over, practically dumping them onto the bar. now, adam is pretty calm and quiet guy, but he can become quickly irritated at the drop of a hat (or in the case, the drop of four goddamn beers that he just paid for).

he turns around in a haste, hands already balled into fists, but he hears fast and erratic apologizes before he can react. “sorrysorrysorry, oh my god, i’m so sorry,” the guy says, immediately putting his hands up in defense, “i’m sorry, someone just, like, shoulder-checked me and it made me bump into you and i made you dump all your beers and i’m super, insanely sorry.”

it sounds like he’s talking a mile a minute and adam’s hands relax before he fully realizes it. when he gets a good look at the guy, adam furrows his eyebrows at him and he doesn’t know what it is, but he… doesn’t feel the need to be mad at this guy. he sounds genuine and honest and he still keeps talking. “please, just–let me buy your next round? to make up for it, god, i’m so sorry.”

adam takes a deep breath and shakes his head, “it’s… fine. it’s not your fault, it was an accident.”

“no way. i–i mean, it was an accident, but i’ll buy your beers to make up for them. i’m so–”

“sorry. you’re sorry, i got it,” adam says, unable to hide the small smile that curls in the corner of his mouth.

the guy moves around adam and quickly gets the attention of the bartender, reordering the four beers that they’re currently cleaning up. he quickly drops down some cash before adam can even think to move and before he knows it, the guy’s holding two of the beers and looking at adam expectantly. “here, let me, like, follow you to your friends so nobody drops anymore of… anything.”

adam opens and closes his mouth for what feels like a full minute before he just complies, grabbing the other two beers and heading back towards the guys. as he approaches, jeremy’s already looking at him with a raised eyebrow, but a smile.

“who’s your new friend, adam?” michael asks lewdly, wiggling his eyebrows as he leans on the table towards the two.

“um,” adam starts, glancing over at the guy as he fills in the circle around the high top they’re standing at, “this is…”

“miles,” he fills in happily, placing the beers down in front of michael and gavin with a welcoming grin, “i’m assuming these are for you guys. i just bumped into adam here and knocked over the first four beers that he bought, so i bought him four more to make up for it.”

the lads nod and adam hands jeremy his beer, who’s eyes are flicking between adam’s confused facial expressions and miles’s warm and open eyes. “interesting,” jeremy comments before taking a swig of his beer.

the night goes on and miles doesn’t leave their table, but none of them really want him to. he makes them all laugh, he’s charming, comes up with one-liners like no one’s business, and both gavin and michael make it a point to toss out the fact that miles was giving both adam and jeremy some up and downs when they thought they weren’t looking after miles heads off to the bathroom.

“bullshit,” jeremy chuckles, shaking his head, “there’s no way you can prove that.”

“there’s only one way to find out,” gavin smirks.

when miles returns, gavin immediately starts up the game 'shag, marry, kill’ for him. quickly, miles replies, “but… there’s four of you? that’s not fair to leave someone out.”

gavin waves it off, “leave out whoever you want, doesn’t matter. just a quick game, yeah? first answers that come to mind, c'mon.”

they watch him stutter a lot, rub the back of his neck (which causes the bottom of his plaid shirt to ride up where both jeremy and adam’s eyes fly to in an instant), before timidly answering, “i mean, i can’t make up my mind about a couple of the options, so i don’t wanna, y'know, give uncertain answers.”

“jesus, alright,” michael groans before pointing a thumb over to the two suddenly quiet gang members, “which one of these do you wanna fuck and which one do you wanna marry? 'cause you’re not fuckin’ or marryin’ me or gavin, so just get it over with already.”

in the dark bar, both adam and jeremy can see the tint of pink that rises on his cheeks before nervously asking, “can i plead the fifth?”

to this day, both adam and jeremy like to tease miles about how awkward and nervous he was that night at the bar, but he shrugs and comments, “can you blame me? two buff, smokin’ hot hunks are standing right in front of me and i’m expected to not be a weirdo? very unlikely.”

there were many, many, many talks about what this all was, especially when they finally found out that miles was a cop. he tried to hide it from them for a long time, but he dramatically underestimated their criminal history and how fast they could find out. jeremy and adam waited as long as they could, wanting to let miles tell them on his own, but it came to a point where miles would ignore them for hours and days without letting them know where he was and what he was doing.

their only source was the news, when the lspd would get in a massive shootout with one of the worse crews, and they assumed the worst. the day after the shootout and they haven’t received any call or text, they made their way to miles’s apartment. it wasn’t that hard to break in, and when they did, they saw miles posted up on the couch with a bunch of fast food littered across the coffee table in front of his couch. the tv’s on, but miles was passed out. in between the containers and bags of food were pain killers, bandages, and antibotic gel.

the two worked diligently to clean up, carry miles to his bed and lie with him so he can finally get a good night’s sleep.

when miles woke up surrounded by jeremy and adam, he confidently remembered that he had never felt safer.

the semester started a week ago, but it’s joel’s senior year and he knows better than to buy all of the textbooks for his classes before he goes. now that he has a grasp of the class and the curriculum, he doesn’t have to buy three out of the seven books that he actually needs. it saves money and it makes joel feel like he beat the system (he didn’t).

he trails in the campus bookstore, which is still busier than ever this early in the semester. there are some students checking out school attire (lots of freshmen who feel the need to aggressively rep the school–if they had any smart clothing, joel wouldn’t mind wearing something), so he trails towards the textbooks.

the bookstore music is playing some corny 80’s music, probably songs that most college students wouldn’t think to enjoy, but joel isn’t opposed to it. “your love” by the outfield is a classic song and he bops his head back and forth, hands tucked into his pockets as he trails down the aisle.

joel rounds the corner to another aisle, but stops short when he sees another student in front of him. it would be totally normal and not startle him the way it does, but this student is getting really into this song. so much so that he’s shaking his hips back and forth and bopping his head way more aggressively than joel was. he has a textbook in his hand and he’s flipping through the pages, but he doesn’t seem to be paying that much attention to it as opposed to the music.

joel brings his hand up to cover his mouth so he doesn’t embarrass this guy by laughing. and god, he doesn’t mean to laugh at him, he’s really not trying to, but… well, his dancing isn’t the best. the way he bops his head is way off rhythm from the song and joel really doesn’t know what he’s doing with his hips. he must be a freshman, joel thinks, thinking that no one is watching and indulging in this moment.

the thing is, joel needs to go down this aisle to get a book for one of his classes but he really doesn’t want to disturb this poor guy. there are some other books he needs to get, so he decides to move on to another row. but of course, with joel’s wonderful luck, he trips over a book that was carelessly left on the floor and causes a bit of a commotion.

the guy’s head shoots up when he sees joel and their eyes meet. joel couldn’t get a good look at him before while his head was down, buried in a book, but he can’t be a freshman, not with that well-grown beard he has. but his eyes are wide, as are joel’s, as they stand silently with nothing but the poppy tone of the outfield in the background.

joel gets himself together, pushing the book to the side as he brushes his shirt off. the guy straightens his posture and hurriedly snaps the book shut. ‘fun song,’ joel comments with a soft grin, putting his hands in his shorts again. ‘you seemed to be having fun with it, anyway.’

he clears his throat, hands tight on the textbook. 'uh, yeah,’ he replies, 'good.. good song.’

he’s not sure why he’s compelled to keep talking to this poor guy that’s clearly embarrassed for being caught, but he’s cute and such a bad dancer and joel wants to teach him how to dance (in more ways than one). his hair is short, but curly and he’s a little shorter than joel but it only makes joel want to hang all over him, put his arm around his shoulders, and break him out of this shy exterior he’s showing.

'you, uh, you like dancing?’ joel asks. he’s not sure when he turned into the world’s worst flirt; he used to be great at it, even james has complimented the flawless way joel can start a conversation with any stranger. but this guy is completely cramping his style and he doesn’t know why.

'not really,’ he replies, scratching the back of his head.

'oh.’ shit. 'well, i’m… sorry for bothering you.’ it seems like a good time for joel to go back to his room and never leave, ever again.

when he turns to go, he hears a quiet 'wait’, barely audible over the 80’s tunes. joel turns around, seeing the guy take a step forward. 'what’s your name?’

joel looks behind him just to make sure he wasn’t talking to someone else, but they’re still the only two in the aisle. he self-consciously straightens his shirt again. 'uh, i’m–i’m joel.’

'matt,’ he replies, and when joel sees the smallest crack of a smile, he’s sure that all of his cool points that he was sure he had went way down from the way he sends a goofy smile back.

'matt,’ joel repeats with a nod. 'that’s a good–i mean. it’s–cute?’ he tries, his reserve completely crumbling in front of a good looking guy. joel’s never like this, he’s never this shy. what the hell is happening?

but matt laughs and joel counts it as the biggest win of the day–of the week, even. 'thanks, i guess,’ he shrugs. 'joel’s a cute name, too.’

oh god, joel’s going to lose it. how is a guy with this incredible beard and flushed cheeks so goddamn good at flirting as joel continues to flounder and fail? 'th-thanks, thank you.’

matt just nods and bites his lower lip for a moment (giving joel his own inappropriate thoughts) before he waves his book around. 'um, i gotta get some other books for class, so…’ he trails off.

but joel catches the cover of matt’s book and points at it. 'hey, i need that book, too,’ he comments, walking closer to him and the section of books he’s in front of. 'are you also taking environmental science?’

he nods once more and his gentle smile returns. 'yeah. figured, y'know, senior year and all, would wanna take it kind of easy. plus i heard this class was actually interesting,’ matt explains.

'what’s–i mean when, when’s your class?’ joel stutters as he grabs another copy of their book.

'monday mornings, 10:15,’ matt sighs. 'kind of thankful that it’s not earlier, but it’s still kind of early, so–’

joel cuts him off because fate is just so good to him, but also puts him in situations that he is not prepared for; how would he know that matt would also be in this class? 'that’s the same time as my class,’ he tells matt, bouncing on his feet a bit.

matt lets out another chuckle as he ducks his head. 'ah, yeah, i know,’ he mentions. 'saw you come in on the first day. and, y'know, here in the bookstore i recognized you, so i figured why not… talk.’

joel is sure that if matt’s cheeks could get any redder, they would. joel also wants to be the one to do it. 'that’s–wow, that’s awesome,’ he grins. 'so we could be class buddies.’

jeez, way to jump the gun, joel, he thinks bitterly to himself. what if he doesn’t want to be friends? way to get ahead of yourself, idiot.

'that’d be nice,’ matt agrees easily. 'here, hold on.’ he tugs his phone out of his pocket to hand over to joel, who very eagerily takes it in his hand. 'put your number in. maybe we could, like, do homework or study together. for class.’ matt clears his throat, shoving his free hand back into his pocket nervously.

joel doesn’t hesitate and quickly plugs his number in, and if he puts his name as “joel cute class buddy” with a blushing emoji, then matt won’t notice until he goes to text him. which joel prays he does. 'here ya go,’ he smiles, returning matt’s phone.

'great. i’ll text you later, if, um, if that’s alright,’ matt requests.

'it’s more than alright,’ joel says with a laugh, ’please do. i’ll be waiting for it.’

god, matt’s face is so red and cute and joel wishes they could stand here and talk forever, but matt simply gives him a shy wave before turning around to purchase his textbook.

when joel’s sitting in his dorm bed doing some early class readings, his phone vibrates with a text.

What an appropriate name for you in my phone, Joel cute class buddy

the smile on his face hurts as he checks the text, making sure to quickly save matt’s number before replying.

J: I figured it would be. your name is quite similar, if you’re interested in knowing what it is

M: Please, be my guest

J: it’s saved as 'Matt cuter class buddy’

M: Original. I like it

J: yeah, I try. I’m well known for originality around these parts

M: I’m impressed. What’s something original that you do?

J: ask you out on a lunch date through text message

M: Hm. Not very original, but let’s pretend it is anyway.Not sure if that was an obvious enough answer, but I’d like to go on a lunch date with you

J: I was going to take it as a yes anyway, don’t you worry ;)tomorrow sound good?

M: Presumptuous, but correct. Tomorrow sounds great.