Hunted to the ends of the earth and persecuted on all sides, all I fucking wanted was to be safe but people like me don't get to be anything other than unwanted.

tiramisu

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

"explain your answer" no. i used a calculator, and i do not care about this class

where’s my oscar for acting like i’m not falling apart 

love wearing all black in public i hope no large gaseous heat emitting orb in the sky comes along and makes my day worse

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon

”Explain yourself” followed by “stop making excuses” has always baffled me because the fuck you think explaining myself is????