free (critical) thinker

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

I do think when it comes to making friends a lot of it does have to do with getting over yourself like yeah some people will reject you or sometimes you’ll feel embarrassed or get your feelings hurt but thats not the end of the world if you want to experience anything in life you have to get over that and put the effort in idfk unironically a lot of people ive met who have trouble making friends also admit they won’t put themselves out there first and start talking to somebody first or ask somebody to hang out first etc etc and it truly is like @3liza said you want the experience of already having friends without the experience of making friends and getting to know them. None of this is to say it’s easy it’s not but it’s worth it

agreed 100%. i also think the rhetoric around "being the friend who always reaches out/makes plans" leads to people equating a would-be friend's lack of initiative with a lack of interest in the relationship. like that's not always the case. people are lazy and forgetful so if you want to be their friend that bad, you gotta be willing to overlook some annoying qualities for the sake of community idk.

Im ngl I think a lot of the “being the friend who always reaches out” stuff is people kind of purposefully ignoring how busy the average person is it does take an extreme amount of effort to have friends on top of work and life. especially if you have a large number of friends. Like idk it’s good to be able to recognize the difference between hurt feelings and personal annoyances vs thinking it’s an objective truth that the actions that caused them means nobody cares about you and you should stop pursuing it

Sometimes u have to remind yourself the risk of potential embarrassment is nothing in comparison to the risk of potential regret

I do think when it comes to making friends a lot of it does have to do with getting over yourself like yeah some people will reject you or sometimes you’ll feel embarrassed or get your feelings hurt but thats not the end of the world if you want to experience anything in life you have to get over that and put the effort in idfk unironically a lot of people ive met who have trouble making friends also admit they won’t put themselves out there first and start talking to somebody first or ask somebody to hang out first etc etc and it truly is like @3liza said you want the experience of already having friends without the experience of making friends and getting to know them. None of this is to say it’s easy it’s not but it’s worth it

agreed 100%. i also think the rhetoric around "being the friend who always reaches out/makes plans" leads to people equating a would-be friend's lack of initiative with a lack of interest in the relationship. like that's not always the case. people are lazy and forgetful so if you want to be their friend that bad, you gotta be willing to overlook some annoying qualities for the sake of community idk.

i really hate how the language of self-care has empowered the most entitled people to force others around them to put up with their inconvenient behaviour instead of doing the work to be a better person. this has eroded the social fabric in such a way that it'll take decades to repair

like no you can't be on your phone or talk in the movie theatre because other people also paid to be there and you owe a pleasant viewing experience to them... your life is bigger than you and i think most people have completely forgotten that