writtenintheStars

what if…one day, out of the blue…he disappears. The uncertainty of us doesn’t let me sleep anymore. He says we understand each other…which is why we get along. But the detachment I feel…the strange sad feeling that I get when he leaves…I’m beginning to become addicted to it. The gloomy-ness. His most unfeasible and witless words make me laugh and then make my eyes feel immensely tired-ish. And then he says that were good friends, we can tell each other anything. But does he know? Does he realize one bit that were still strangers? And I think about a stranger 24/7? His words, his smile, his texts, his voice and his beautiful accent that makes my heart melt and my panties wet? Does he realize the lust and love I feel for him? And I guess that it’s for the best. That he keeps his distance. Because that makes us watch each other even strongly. The excitement and thrill to talk to him after days makes me feel like the happiest but the most gullible person on earth. His intellect..personality and coolness just makes me want to be like him. And I’m jealous. Because of all the people in his life that get to know him. And get to see him and hear him. I’m jealous of all the eyes and ears… All the hands that have touched his tousled hair and his charming face…and I’m jealous of all the voices who have spoken to him, and told him small things such as “good morning” or “good night” in person. But he doesn’t know. And he would never know. The irrelevant lines he’s drawn…the unfathomable lies I’ve told him when he asked if I was unhappy. He wouldn’t know. But my heart tells me to not stop trying. And that maybe someday, somehow I will be the voice who’ll get to tell him “I love you” as his breath halts. As mine. And maybe someday I’ll get to see his crooked smile…and maybe he’ll say “Me too” …maybe; perhaps.

So far you’ve survived 100% of your worst days. You’re doing great.

When Ramadan enters, the gates of Paradise are opened, the gates of Hellfire are closed and the devils are chained.

I wonder what you’re doing right now. Are you locked away in your room browsing Reddit, or watching a documentary? Are you deep in a book? Are you spending time with your family talking about eachothers days? Are you at the gym? I want to know how you spend your free time when it’s just you and the world. I want to know what occupies the far corners of your mind, what tickles those walls and how you unwind at the end of a long day. I want to get to know you.