🤠

remember when elomusk asked one of his rocketship employees to give him sex favors in exchange for a horse

I think this tidbit should be more famous than his exploding cars. It's all I'll ever need to know. A real human man tried and failed to barter with a flight attendant for third base by offering to buy her a horse (that's what girls like, right?)

I'm showing my software engineer flatmate tumblr code and glitches and he just keeps getting more and more agitated

"and people use this site??" bad news chief its my primary social media

I'm having to reblog this manually because guess what social media's mobile app decided to remove fast reblogs

I use tumblr exclusively on mobile and it sucks that they removed fast reblogs

IM SORRY THEY WHAT

i just updated mobile a solid minute ago and i can still fast reblog?

the fuck is a fast reblog

I’ve never used that in my life

Watching the new drew gooden video with the "$5 a month" earbuds that you can't own no matter how much you pay and they'll remotely deactivate the earbuds if you stop paying for the subscription and I think we literally need to kill companies before they start having subscription models for physical items they can deactivate

[id: #important to remember that this is already the norm for ppl with certain medical implants and devices #its far more urgent than u think]

I'm showing my software engineer flatmate tumblr code and glitches and he just keeps getting more and more agitated

"and people use this site??" bad news chief its my primary social media

I'm having to reblog this manually because guess what social media's mobile app decided to remove fast reblogs

I use tumblr exclusively on mobile and it sucks that they removed fast reblogs

IM SORRY THEY WHAT

i just updated mobile a solid minute ago and i can still fast reblog?

the fuck is a fast reblog

I’ve never used that in my life

not leaving this site until it gets deleted

if apple wants me and my penis jokes to die so badly then they can come and shoot me point blank but until then im gonna be sticking around

Yes. We all need this.

He nailed that !

NINE DAYS LEFT TO GET YOURS!

Having a small kid call you weird is by far one of the most crippling insults in history

i need some victory today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some days you just need a velociraptor on your side.

I’m ready

If I was Elizabeth Bennet my entire family abandoning me at the dinner table when Mr. Collins requested a private audience would have been my villain origin story.

shoutout to everybody who cannot partake in the shared history spongebob memes give everyone because they were, for some inexplicable reason, never allowed to watch spongebob

It’s weird because unlike most other experiences, this is not one you can go back and rectify. It’s already too late for me to grow up watching spongebob