Untitled

I’ve met someone, he seems so more than worthy of investing in. His morals and I’s line up so well, he knows how to sit and listen to the music I show him, he makes me laugh, he makes me feel safe, I can be as open as I want, he loves his own company, I love him.

He reminds me of how Matty and I first started, no guy who as come in my life from Matty July 2025 to now with his new amazing man, have I felt such a INSTANT connection. In a sea full of Hinge likes, I replied to him with confidence and he was just nothing be a sweetheart and someone who seem worth getting to know.

I am crying as I am writing a part of his birthday letter which I will be blocking him as he will be reading on a plane across the world. For him and I to finally heal from this relationship.

I love him with all my heart, I feel terribly bad that I couldn’t show him my love for him in the way he wish i could.

I truly believe after this relationship I will be years single, not the “single” that I crave male attention but the “single” that male attention becomes foreign.

I just wish he didn’t give up on us so easily, especially now that we broke up. He seems too comfortable to not text me through his day and it’s not that I want to know what he’s doing, I simply just want to be apart of his day when I know I’m not going to see him.

And we when we don’t text for awhile, I think maybe he shouldn’t be in my life. Maybe we’d be okay with out one another and then I start to think of him with someone else and it absolutely crushes me cause I know how he can love someone, i only want to be the girl to experience that from here on out. So it does make me double text him and ask him pointless questions just remind him that I am here for him and us.

I sometimes i find myself wishing some elderly person told him what people who have been married for decades tell me. “You’re going to make mistakes, stick with someone who sticks with you when you mess up” so that he’ll know that not every relationship is perfect and ours definitely isn’t.

I just want him to know I’m willing to be here for as long as he is.

But taking a free drink isn’t such a crime nor a ride home right (uber isn’t cheap around here)?

The person who I love more than anything but also the person who I can’t seem to leave alone! No matter what they do or no matter what I do, we cannot leave one another alone.

Our relationship was perfect in the beginning (as beautiful as the scary/ traumatizing movies we all love). I got really drunk at a party and let this one drunk kid put his arm around me. Word got around that I was there and said boyfriend was upset. Rightfully so though, I didn’t know what to do or say other than 1000 sorry’s. And even now I feel like if I said a couple hundred more maybe we could’ve stayed in that relationship.

From been “too mature” for a young girls age to being in love with some you shouldn’t be is all far too real in my life.