i'm the music man

this is why dick grayson fans are going to hell

early impulse is genuinely fucking unmatched like. god. you’re so angry. everything is unfair. everyone thinks you’re stupid. everyone would rather talk at you than to you. you don’t talk much and everyone thinks you should shut up anyway. you hate max because he’s unfamiliar and he doesn’t understand you and he’s proof nobody wants to put up with you. you know you’re just a burden to him. you hate him. you desperately need him. he’s solid and unchanging and infuriating and you love him and he never tells you anything and you don’t think he even likes you and you want to rip out his heart and his brain to understand them so you can make yourself something he could love. you miss your grandma. you don’t remember your parents. your cousin hates you and you don’t know why but you know he’s mean and you hate him right back and you know you two are forced to love each other because of duty and because you don’t know how not to. you live in the shadow of your grandfather you will never know. you care so much. you are fourteen years old. everything is too slow. nothing makes sense. you hate everyone. you love everyone. nobody understands you. you don’t know how to exist here, when everything isn’t geared towards what you love and what makes you happy, but you must learn because nobody gives you any grace. you feel like an alien in this time and place and world and body and family. you feel like a ticking time bomb. somedays you explode but that doesn’t get rid of how angry you are. you just feel empty. you don’t like being angry but you’re always so frustrated. you want to cry and scream. nothing is fair. everything is too much. nobody understands you. you want max. you want max to leave you alone. you need max to always be there. you don’t need friends. you love your friends. you don’t understand things everyone seems to implicitly. you have to make all the right choices anyway. you have to be brave. you must be kind. you go to sleep and wake up and do it all again.