Truth & Ideals

Black was more focused on trying to see what was being dropped into his case, and if anyone was trying to sneak anything out of it. It only happened rarely, but sometimes people would assume that anything in his case was free to take. He was intently focused on what was happening that he barely heard the voice asking him the question.

“A story? For that song? Not particularly,” he said as he glanced up.

Oh. This was unexpected.

For two years he had sought this person. This person now stood before him trying to make casual conversation. Black felt a flood of emotions that he tried to control. Happiness, sadness, anger, regret, emptiness; a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings he did not know that humans could possess.

“That song has no particular meaning, but I did compose it shortly after a friend of mine disappeared,” he said.

“And just where the hell have you been?” he added.

Always. This was always how it had been with N,  and how it would continue to be. He looked at the world with curiosity, wishing to learn of its inner-workings-- perhaps all of them, were it to be possible. So, most everything came with a question. What else could there be?  He would not feel sadness, not now, he had found his friend again. Wasn’t that something to feel happy about? Should the time lost really be dwelt on? He had thought that people felt better living in the present. 

“Ah, so there are feelings behind it, after all. I suppose it’s fitting... I’d imagine it to be rather sad, that is, not knowing where one was. 

People and Pokemon .... they both are unable to handle farewells very well. 

But, they both possess the ability to understand, too. ” 

So much could be felt listening to it, though it was silly that he was speaking so casually about it. To have another be away was upsetting, to say the least, and he knew that feeling very well. From his days in the castle, as well as the last two years. But, a person did what he had to. Sometimes, a person had to endure for a short duration of time, for what would came later. 

 “I’ve been to quite a few places...

Learning more about Unova, as well as its people and pokemon.  

However, my attention had primarily been focused solely on Team Plasma.

 Ghetsis still had ill-intentions, and was in hiding. I knew of this.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you. I simply thought it’d be best not to involve others. You did enough for me. I wished to erase Team Plasma from the map, with my own hands. 

Please accept this humongous nerd in celebration of pi day

Despite his rather obvious interest, this conversation was approached carefully, as it had been some time since they had spoken. There were words unspoken between the two, his departure having been quite -- abrupt, should it need a word. 

 It was a surprise to even see Black like this, to see the other in his everyday life, with Team Plasma now (hopefully) disbanded for good. It had been two years, but Black still was here in Unova. He had found him. The probability of such a thing happening was rather slim, so he supposed Arceus was on their side. 

Moving forward with very little reluctance (there was an understanding between the two that told N that it was alright), he grew nearer, dropping some pokedollars into the case. As he straightened back up, his gaze would raise as well, attempting to lock with that of the brunet.  There would be a struggle, as Black’s attention appeared to be somewhere else. 

So, N decided to start a conversation. 

“That song... 

It holds a certain sadness, yet it’s hopeful. 

【腐】大丈夫、【N主♂】

Artist:Nicole

Of course, such a belief was futile in the beginning. His thought process had been warped too much since the last time they had seen each other, and his head refused to believe anyone could’ve been honest to him anymore – In this day and age, everyone was a filthy liar, even himself.

‘ Do you taste the shit that comes out of your mouth, N Harmonia ?! ‘ His voice raised, near shrill and accompanied with only the beginning of his long since new-found vile vocabulary. With the new him came more impulsiveness, the inability to control himself, an offensive tongue to join his manipulative personality. Everything about him so deeply contrasted the person he used to be, but that was just what he wanted.

‘ Of course you didn’t think this would happen ! You didn’t even realize your own shitty dad was manipulating you that entire time ! How could you possibly know that you were so selfishly abandoning people because of your own ignorance you should’ve realized ages ago ?! ‘

A low blow, surely, but Blair was too caught up in his own frustration and emotions he kept bottled up for years to actually process it for what it was. He would come to regret it later, no doubt, but he wouldn’t voice it being the stubborn person he was. ‘ That’s hardly even reassuring to hear that was ‘only the beginning’ ! What more do you want to do to me ?! ‘ It was a conflicting feeling to be in front of this man now. On one end, he wanted to see N so he could see the person he had become and make him regret everything. On the other, Blair wanted to forget that part of his life had ever happened for the sake of his ( fragile ) sanity. To be free of his past instead of allowing himself to think about it when he saw a mere familiar color or heard the name of an organization that had long since disbanded.

‘ Really ? It doesn’t connect to you AT ALL ? ‘ Now, that just made him all the more upset. ‘ I never asked for that ! I never said ‘I want to be a hero and fight you’ ! Honestly, all my journey was supposed to be was simple ! But you messed it up because you HAD to get close and get me to believe we were friends ! I’ve never seen such a waste of my disgusting past-kindness than you ! Because I believed in you and wanted to help you, when you left, everything went to shit ! I even went looking for you, you know ?! But noooooo, I never found you, and when I came back, no one bat an eyelash at me ! ‘

Fair enough. Team Plasma must have been a handful for someone as young as he had been. Even now, it would have been. No one should have a duty suddenly thrust upon them. Especially without being willing. However, that said, the legendary dragon had chosen him of its own will. That was not their influence. 

Choices had consequences, whether or not they wished to believe it. The entire world was filled with formulas, and with each move a person made, there was a new reaction. If Blair, or Touya wished not to make a certain choice, then he shouldn’t. Something would come of it. 

“I understand if you’re angry, or if you wish not to see me. 

Your feelings aren’t insignificant. 

If you’d like, I could leave again. Right here, and now.”

Besides, the only reason that he had stopped here was because Blair was here. So, if unwanted, it would be very simple to turn back again. There would be nothing keeping him here. However, it was hard to watch the other starting to believe his own lies. How long had he been creating them? 

“However, Blair ... I wasn’t the source of all of that, I hadn’t pushed you to do anything, ever ... you made those choices. I’m grateful for the sacrifices that you made to aid me, but you shouldn’t place all the blame on others. Perhaps it hadn’t turned out the way you desired, but ... we were friends. That, I couldn’t lie to you about. ”

… He didn’t know what Blair had become aside from his name.

This was obvious with how casual N seemed to be despite the fact that Blair’s background had turned so unsavory after N had left years before. A part of the coquette was actually relieved he didn’t know yet, for he so selfishly wanted to tell the man himself how far he had fallen because of his selfish actions and so effectively ruining his life.

‘ Of course I’ve fucking changed. ‘ He spat. That genuine, innocent boy he used to be no longer existed. Touya’s chapter had ended to make room for Blair, though no one seemed to want him as much as they wanted the hero they only seemed to miss when he was gone.

Though, somehow, something so drastic never had been expected, that is, something enough to transform a person’s character. This appeared to be the case here, with the way Blair was speaking. It was wondered, however, if the words were deserved somehow. If they weren’t, then surely they would not be directed toward him like this.

“I had to go. With all that Team Plasma had done in Unova, I had to be certain that Ghetsis would end it all. It had occurred to me that he wouldn’t do it without a fight... I assure you, it was necessary. ”

He could understand that such a thing was hardly a reason to leave as he had, but it had seemed to be the correct choice in that moment. In that sense, could it be considered a sacrifice?

                                    Choose one, and lose the other.

“Despite what you may believe, my departure was never meant to have such a reaction. It wasn’t ever my intention to ruin anything. I had left with the intention to bring peace to Unova again ... to finish the change that you had started.

What you faced was only the beginning, I promise you. ” 

Though, were his promises worth much? 

Fingers remained curled at the brim of his hat, fiddling with its position on his head. This was a difficult situation to manage, so it was hard not to be nervous. 

“But, how...? How did I ‘ruin your life’, as you say?  

He felt dizzy all of a sudden, memories were flooding back to him quicker than he would’ve liked and he couldn’t even show a look of defiance as he wanted to – As he usually would, had he not been so caught off guard by the embrace. It felt too warm, too caring, too gentle. Of course, it contradicted how Blair saw N since he left; it left him confused and incapable of finding some good response.

So, of course, the one he gave was weak and perhaps more confusing than anything.

‘ W – Why did you hug me ?! What’s wrong with you ? Don’t you know who I am ?! ‘ Of course he did. N knew him as Blair, but he had to know some bit of him as Blair if he had that name in his memory bank. All that he was left to wonder now was how much he knew.

”I’m sorry. I suppose that I felt inclined to do so. It has been quite some time since we’ve crossed paths ... you’ve even chosen to change your name. Is it because you believe to have changed?”

He kept his distance from the other, assuming that it was what was desired, while digging for answers. What was not known was the grudge and hatred that Blair had clipped to him and his very name. Though, even if he had, it was hard to think that he would up and leave. It could be unsettling, perhaps, but this was still Touya.

”Before spotting you, I had seen people motioning your way with whispers of that name. Is there something I should be aware of? I hadn’t thought to listen in...”