BIRDIE (COMMISSIONS OPEN)

im currently unemployed and have been struggling to find work. i got a letter today as well that apparently im behind on rent $560 (my roommate is behind as well but thankfully i have much less that i owe) or else we’re going to be evicted in thirty days. ive been subletting my room in order to try and get by but i didnt realize i was behind. i would love it if you gave me a shot at bringing your vision to life!

Let me know if you have time and what the cost would be. I saw your work and it's beautiful!

peter parker says save a horse 🐎

finished stranger things 5 vol 2 earlier and as a history and film/tv nerd i want to say some things; i feel like we as a society discredit the negative impact the hays code really did have on film/television and just society as a whole

for those unfamiliar because apparently there are a lot of people not aware of it: the hays code was this set of moral censorship rules hollywood followed from like the 1930s–60s that said what you were allowed to show in film/tv, and it was extremely conservative and homophobic. like it literally banned “sexual perversion” which was code for gay people existing on screen. if queer characters showed up at all they had to be jokes, villains, tragic, or punished by the narrative. no happy endings, no mutual love, no fulfillment whatsofuckingever. it had a bunch of other stupid rules too like nothing beyond simple kissing, no childbirth, no interracial relationships, clergy members couldn’t be villains/criminals, and more

even though the code technically ended decades ago, it absolutely fried the industry’s brain. studios learned “queer love = risky, controversial, financially dangerous” and that mindset just never fully left. so instead of outright bans you get shit like we do today. hesitation. subtext. plausible deniability. shows getting CANCELLED. executives all wanting to keep one foot in progress and one foot in conservative markets for $$$ which is why we’re STILL seeing this pattern of queer characters being allowed to feel but not be chosen, to confess but not be reciprocated, allowed to exist but not disrupt the “safe” status quo couple. in the context of stranger things, this is mileven

instead of committing, creators place failsafes in being vague so they are able to back out at the last second so no one can accuse them of being “too queer” or the opposite — queerbaiting. they balance on this grossly exploitative tightrope where queer audiences are emotionally invested and teased at possibilities of something but are never actually rewarded, while straight audiences are reassured nothing “fundamental” will “change”

and that’s where byler lives. in the margins, the implication, in the looks, the framing, the music cues, the fucking clothing colors, songs, the pining, the repeated emotional intimacy that is absolutely not accidental, the literal decade worth of carefully cultivating this dynamic… will’s feelings are canon, but they’re framed as quiet, internal, potentially unrequited, and from the very start of the show — literally episode one — it’s treated as something he’s expected to survive. the show still can’t even bring itself to say the words gay or lesbian out loud for christ’s sake. everything has to be implied, softened, or outsourced to metaphor. and yes sure it’s the 80s and this was reagan’s america, but i promise you people were still using those words, not just insults/slurs like fairy and fag like the show has in fact used. they can say it once. it won’t ruin the realism in a show about alternate dimensions, monsters, and magic, i promise.

and continuing on: will’s coming out itself is so loaded in a way that makes my skin crawl and i’ve already seen many others that feel the same. yes, a lot of what he said was so beautiful and aching and true, but the circumstances of it? just gross. he is forced into it by the manipulation of a monster that has been psychologically and physically and sexually abusing him since he was literally only twelve. a monster that specifically targets his sense of being “different,” of being “wrong”. difference = danger. difference = shame. and this really shows that his coming out isn’t intimate or chosen. it happens in front of a dozen people, including people he barely knows (murray, vickie, kali), under extreme emotional distress because he’s scared vecna will continue to use it against him and use visions of his loved ones reacting negatively against him. that’s not just unfortunate writing, that’s reflective of a long history of queer narratives where our truth is something dragged out of us under pressure instead of something we get to own

so when will calls mike “his tammy”, it doesn’t feel like positive storytelling, it feels like a slap on the wrist. like them telling us that rejection is essential for growth as if he hasn’t gone through enough growth already and has never ever had things go right for him. mike isn’t a prize to win, no, but it feels like the narrative is just saying “don’t worry, this love is small, survivable, one-sided. it’s just a little crush!” (one that’s lasted years and several seasons) which is ridiculous.

letting it be mutual and directing a new light on the emotional spine of the show and letting it challenge the “safe” pairing that’s been marketed and monetized for years? that’s their biggest fear

and the thing that really kills me is that they know what they’re doing. again: the zoom-ins, the lingering looks, gentle touches, interview upon interview of them telling us it would be worth it in the end and we would be happy etc. and guess what: queer baiting us. because yes, if this isn’t resolved in the final episode that is exactly what it will be. for the last ten years they have refrained from saying byler isn’t endgame which they could’ve done with simple “it’s unrequited” or what fucking ever, which they’ve had ample opportunity to do. instead they stayed vague with their answers and saying “we would see” pretty much, and being all suspicious, baiting us into sticking around by teasing us with hope and staying on that aforementioned tightrope.

so yeah. the hays code is dead, but its ghost is absolutely haunting us all including in stranger things, and in the way queer love is often framed as tragic, internal, or formative but never fulfilled. in the way the show wants credit for representation without taking the risk of commitment, and the way it flinches right at the moment where queerness would stop being subtext and start being text

and i think that’s why this hurts so much. because it’s not just about byler. it’s about watching the same pattern repeat over and over again but in different ways and pretending it’s progress when it’s really a standstill

like clearly the industry still flinches at the idea of letting a queer boy get the boy, even/especially when it’s central to the plot and drawn out for so long.

the theories were stacked in neat little threads, with color-coded pictures and mike’s haircut spreads.

the screenshots were zoomed till the pixels gave out, “HE LOOKED AT HIM SOFTLY,” we all screamed with a pout, one hand on the keyboard and one clutching the heart, prepared to be ruined before part 2 starts.

some fans were hopeful. some braced for the blow. some whispered, “if not now, hands? i will throw.”

they paced the floor with a frown set in place, hoping will’s coming out would be sharing space.

the doubt crept in quiet, like vecna at night: “what if it’s subtext?” “what if they don’t?” “what if it’s destroyed in blight?”

but then came the edits, creelby parallels, proof, from snow ball to van scenes to the monologue truth.

“it’s gotta be endgame,” the group chats declared, while clutching old seasons and feeling un-repaired.

we remembered young will with his heart on his sleeve, and mike, who loved fiercely but couldn’t perceive. if max was there she’d speak and be right, “he’s dumb, but it’s fine, he’ll get there tonight.”

the fear sat beside us. the hope held our hand. we wanted 5 now. we wanted it planned. not tragedy only, not longing alone, but love said out loud, and returned, not outgrown.

so we waited together, feral but kind, a fandom held tight by a single through-line: that people can be heroes and still be afraid, that softness survives in the messes life’s made.

then out in the snow came a clatter, a thump, an ALIVE steve harrington burst in with farrah fawcetted pomp. “okay, children,” he said, hair glowing with cheer, “if he looks at you like that, the answer is clear.”

robin rolled her eyes. “i’ve BEEN through this plot.” she pointed at mike. “that boy’s down bad a lot.” cuz when will’s new powers were incredibly displayed, mike stared at will like his world had been made.

byler book club locked down, as we waited for the drop, some of us yelling for the countdown to stop.

so sleep if you can, every girl and every gay, for tomorrow brings canon or chaos or pain.