he adores her. that much will never change. the shame is one he wears poorly. it comes in the form of a cold and uninviting gaze, deigning to turn around and acknowledge her. he cannot forgive and he will not.Â
at her question, nico scoffs harshly as if the ice that escapes him could freeze her words from echoing inside his brain, burning inside his skill. how delusional of her to call him by a name that used to make him melt. it only incites anger. she represents every weakness a casiraghi should never have and only he was the fool for thinking it would make him stronger. it did, but the price was too grand for him to ever accept it.
â good question, amore mio. â the bitterness seeps into his voice like poison.Â
georgina had left due to many reasons, one of them being his dedication to his family. these were lessons learned leading up to the moment he met lennon. so, when a second chance presented it self, he gave everything up for her, which only ended in the same way, except this time he was left with nothing.Â
being sent to gallagher is a punishment he believes is well deserved. heâd done it all for love, but it hadnât been enough. so when she asks him what heâs doing here, he hopes that the realisation of his business trips all having been a lie hurts as much as it did as when he came back to an empty house.Â
â the reason iâm here is standing right in front of me. â nico leaves enough room for a dangerous assumption, that heâs here to get her back when in truth the only thing he wants to get back is his pride. heâs here because he chose her over family. he wonât be making the same mistake again.Â
â this..? â he makes a circular motion with his finger. â you left italy for⌠this. â
   when the only person lennonâs ever been in love with is standing before her, she canât help but notice the distance between them. leaving the way she did meant that she never had to face the reality of being apart. the two never had a proper break up, just stopped living together, seeing one another, talking to each other and existing on the same plane altogether. for all intent and purposes, werenât they TECHNICALLY still together? but itâs all a rouse she makes up in her mind, one she wishes to be true because the sight of him makes her heart drop and rethink the decision more than sheâs ever allowed herself to. itâs an ideation made up of hope and of butterflies reinbahiting her stomach like sheâs relearning nico casiraghi from scratch --- except thatâs not how he looked at her when she did. she hates that heâs not looking at her like the most beautiful creature heâs ever seen, one he has to have, one heâd court consistently until she finally agreed to try out the whole love thing and leave the guy who had escorted her to italy. it was a good look. it was a look that did exactly that. a look that made her risk everything for an italian man that hated everything american --- until her.Â
    she sucks in a deep breath of air because he uses words of adoration like a weapon and sheâs taken the blow to her chest. furrowed brows break up the softened look on her face and sheâs confused about what on earth he could possibly mean when he says that SHE is the reason he is at gallagher. "what?â she asks in reaction, but the question is cut short, the millions of other questions popping into her mind being short circuited to have to defend herself and seemingly bad decision making.
    if there is one thing the pair have in common it is TASTE. lennon has no casiraghi school to compare it to, and she certainly didnât WANT to be there, but sure, sheâd allowed gallagherâs charm to satiate her until graduation. "this...â lennon repeats, and it takes a moment for her to catch onto what he means because she doesnât remember leaving him for anything other than wanting him to chase after her, do better, fight for her, fix things. GALLAGHER, she realizes is what causes such disdain and surprise from him. âthis?â lennon repeats once more, though this time as a question, incredulous toward the accusation. ânicky, no,â she says quickly, but then she stops short, not explaining herself or her truth because sheâs having her own realization. âwait --- THIS is the business you were away on all the time? SPY business?â