em!ly

i don’t feel like a real adult, i just feel like tommy and chucky in that one rugrats episode where they imagine being grownups they have adult bodies and are wearing suits but they still have their baby heads and they’re trying to drive and go to work and stuff but they don’t understand what’s happening

remember during the forever halloween era when john would wear beanies with that camo jacket and the band went to go see selena gomez and ended up on the jumbo tron and they made all those little dave ghostman movies and garrett’s hair was at the peak of its emo and then those giant suits they wore to the APMAS and john made a speech about diarrhea and imaginary numbers and eagles in drag and the 8123 tour which was the cutest thing that ever happened and all their behind the scenes videos and tour diaries and song explanation videos and john’s tumblr poetry and just 

when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest

I used to think it was important to have common interests with the person that you are in a relationship with but now I think it is more important to be similar in other aspects. like how kind you are. how you treat the people you care about, how you treat strangers. how you deal with anger. how you deal with pain. and not necessarily dealing with all these things the same way but being perseptive enough to understand what action each situation calls for. it’s important for both people to be on the same page about what that action should be. it’s important to me to have that kind of synchrony.

sitting on and touching warm rocks…………. now thats the good stuff…….

Are you….. A reptile ?

what are you a cop? mind your business 

could really go for a steaming mug of homemade hot cocoa at an old new england lighthouse in the middle of a stormy night while i stare at the raging sea wistfully right about now 

Something that always gives me witchy vibes is that feeling of autumn before it’s there. Like when it’s still in the 70s to 80s, but you can smell it in the air. You can feel it in the depths of the woods.