Living? Or Just Existing?

I called and called and called and called.

You sent me to voicemail.

I begged you to just talk to me.

You said you didn’t want to listen to me.

You said you already knew what I was going to say.

You never picked up.

I cried.

For days.

And what did you do?

You left me alone.

You didn’t care.

You pushed me over the edge like it was light work.

You knew I was hurt and you let me bleed out.

And now all of sudden you’re back?

Months later.

Like nothing happened?

No apology.

Just “hi”

But then I remember all the times I called you

And you sent me to voicemail.

I’m scared I won’t recognize you if our paths ever cross again.

But then I remember all the times I asked to FaceTime

And you told me you couldn’t.

I’m scared that maybe you don’t love me anymore.

But then I remember I used to know a life without you

For once I didn’t cry.

For once I didn’t say I love you.

For once I didn’t say I miss you.

For once I didn’t say your name.

For once I choose myself.

But after all these years,

You ended up being the one to finally push me over.

Because I don’t want to be upset with you.

I know what you did was for the best for the both of us.