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@happyprimate
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I feel almost certain that Anon is wrong about Don Quixote too, but I haven't read it. Shit is almost as long as Dog of War
it's an interesting read but not something I'd chose to read in my free time
Does it at least have plommy?
no đ˘
Laaaaaame. What's even the point then?
Okay, that Anon is fucked in the head, but Don Quixote is something I actually know a little bit about, if y'all don't mind an infodump? (If you do mind an infodump, feel free to ignore.)
My high school library actually had a really good side-by-side translation, with all of the Spanish puns and aphorisms footnoted Pratchett-style. And it was stashed in the farthest, darkest, quietest corner of the library, so being the lonely, AuDHD, egg I was, I read it like five times through my four years of high school.
Turns out, it's fucking hilarious if you actually can get a copy that explains the Spanish jokes. This old man is obsessed with reading adventure heroes like King Arthur and El Cid and the Paladins of Charlemagne and such. He finally cracks and thinks he's such an adventurer. Though his family owns a little land, he's pretty much flat broke, so he can't really afford things like armor or a warhorse or a squire or anything. But fortunately, he's also completely delusional, so he dresses himself in rusty, fake, display armor from the hallway, finds a fairly large kitchen knife and a pot lid for a sword and shield, and he saddles up the farm's old, nearly-dead plow-horse and rides off as an adventuring knight.
Don Quixote also recruits his family's last servant, Sancho Panza, as his squire. Sancho goes along because he's like "y'all are running out of money to pay me, my wife's a nag, and my daughter is grown with zero prospects of marriage because she's as ugly as her father, so fuckit, let's go be knights." Sancho Panza plays earthy straight man to Don Quixote's zany old coot, and the interplay between the two of them is a lot of fun.
Most of the situations the two get involved in are because Don Quixote is completely delusional. Most people know about the story of him charging at windmills thinking they were dragons, but there are a number of other situations. If I recall correctly, he visits a brothel thinking it a castle and demands to be knighted by the innkeeper/pimp in charge (who mostly agrees to it to get rid of him since he beat up the stablehands, thinking them bandits), he beats up a master who was beating a servant and makes him promise to treat him better (the beating resumes as soon as he leaves, but you know, he tried), things like that. Mostly picking fights with people who aren't living up to his fantasy-land ethics, which honestly isn't the worst thing.
The big thing is that by the end of the story, Don Quixote eventually becomes a lot more jaded and practical. He is forced by his family to retire, and loses all hope in his chivalric dreams. However, Sancho Panza actually becomes more hopeful, that maybe the world sucks now but can be a better place if you believe in a better world hard enough. Sancho learns to read and write on their journey, even though at the start he considered such things frivolous, and he even tries to get Don Quixote to go adventuring again, but the old man has lost all interest. It's strongly implied that Don Quixote dies of a broken heart, but that Sancho Panza spends the rest of his life engaging in small, practical heroism like feeding people, helping them, etc.
I really liked it.
To add into the conversation, from a spanish perspective, it's a hard book to read: Cervantes used a lot of expressions and wordings now forgotten, so that makes it a very difficult book even for native speakers, but once you're more familiar with the language used, it's a delicious reading. I agree you should need a good translation to get the point of the jokes. Also I find interesting to add that Cervantes lost an arm in Lepanto and was jailed various times during his life, and Don Quixote was a very very popular book in his lifetime (so popular even another writer- Alonso De Avellaneda- decided to create a second part of the story without Cervantes consent: This is called the Avellaneda's Quixote, which obliged Cervantes to print his second part of the story fast). I feel his experiences with war and jail made Cervantes to acquire this sense of satire and caustic humour. Reading the Anon comment I feel, albeit some of his ideas are plainfully wrong, some are not: The book has been regarded as both a satire and critique of obsessive behaviour towards chivalry books (at the time discussing about knights like Amadis, el Cid or Arthur or Lancelot was a very popular trend among all the social groups and this is what Cervantes implies in the book making the scholar SansĂłn and the barber NicolĂĄs discuss about the different virtues of those knights. Also in the first part of the book or so to "cure" Quixote, his friends decide to burn all his chivalry books, but Cervantes decide to spare some of them explaining why some are "good literature") and a methaphor of the search of hope in the middle ground of fantasy and reallity (In the end, Don Quixote becomes Alonso Quijano , the poor Hidalgo, and Sancho Panza still wants to be thee gobernor of the island that Quixote owed to him).
Also I find endearing it's a true historical view of some of the problems the kingdom of Castille had, and how common people saw it: At the time the "blood purity" obsession was on the verge (Cervantes makes Sancho Panza proud to be an "old Christian"- at the time that meant he hadn't jewish nor moorish ascendants- I find that is a joke from Cervantes, like saying "the only way to be an Old Christian is to be a humble castillan labourer whose family hasn't gone out of their village for centuries"), and the expellion of the Moriscos (the last descents of muslims spanish) had happened by the sole command of king Philliph III. Historians agree that it was a very unnecessary move made more of fear for the turkish power and berber piracy than for any other practical questions, since these moriscos were well integrated in the society. In Don Quixote village there is in fact moriscos, Ricote and her daughther, who are expelled and found by Sancho and Quixote in their way to the exile. Sancho begins to speak about how sad and unfair it is. This scene is really pungent when you take in consideration that Sancho is an "Old Christian", he shouldn't be even speaking to them, but he doesn't care really much about how his religion is or what his "bloodline status" is, he is sad that two good people and friends have to go, and Cervantes decided to write it, which meant it was a consensus about the own unfairness of all the thing.
Sorry for being this long, but I think Don Quixote deserves it.
just stumbled across Francisco Soria Aedoâs work and first off: really good painter, super talented. He mainly did portraits and neoclassical but I really like are his expressions, which do show up in his neoclassical work. lots of people smiling and having fun and itâs just very cute
this is one of my favorites
âŚi dont thing Iâve ever seen this style with people smilingâŚ
The reason it feels so post-modernist and odd to see wide smiles in this style is because showing teeth in classical art was considered lurid and too openly sexual (kinda like nipples in 2020 cough). Ălisabeth VigĂŠe Le Brun caused waves as a neoclassical painter in 1787 because her self-portrait featured her smiling with lips parted and showing a peek of her teeth. Since Francisco Soria Aedo was active around the 1930â˛s it was no longer an issue to show teeth in general yet it still serves as a subversion of the classical âlookâ.
I find mildly infuriating that people in the comments cannot understand the last one is a direct hommage to Velazquez, "Los Borrachos", a painter who was himself avant-garde enough to paint common people and gods together.
god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything
holy shit bronze age pro sheep bone gamer girl
Not only that, but as far as I'm concerned, the game still exists in Spain and hispanic countries, called Matatena or also Tabas. And what I find awesome is that has been milennia around in different cultures.
~ Treasure of Boscoreale: Goblet with Skeletons
Date: 25 B.C-A.D. 50
Period: Imperial Period
Culture: Roman
Place of origin: Italy, Boscoreale (Villa de la Pisanella)
Medium: Silver

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Etruscan (from Vulci, Lazio, Italy), Sarcophagus Lid with a Husband and Wife, ca. 350-300 BCE, travertine (Museum of Fine Arts, Boston)
im putting together a couple of scottish folk mixes bc thatâs what i do and im honestly curious if anyone in my country has ever been unequivocally happy about anything ever
scottish trad music genres:
Everyone I Love Is Dead
The English Have Stolen All My Sheep
You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three
The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep
I Love You A Lot But Youâve Left Me And Itâs Raining [fiddle solo]
The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English
One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome
The Fairies Have Stolen All My Sheep
We have of course the traditional Irish music genres to go with them:
* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland
* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It
* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Wonât Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)
* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good Theyâve Stopped Listening Now Letâs Talk About Revolution
* Something In Irish, I Think Itâs About Fairies, Or Maybe A Cow
oooo can I add to this? donât forget Appalachian folk balladry, the American cousin of Scottish and Irish traditional music and just as uplifting as its Anglo-Saxon highland forbears!!!
genres include:
I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesnât Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug
The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed
You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)
Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But Sheâs Weary Of Our Shit And Now Sheâs Dyinâ (Gather Round)
The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Wonât Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground
We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didnât Fix The LeveeÂ
The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang)Â
When The Rebels Come A-Marchinâ Iâm A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchinâ Iâm A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left
The Tennessee Valley Authority Killed All My Sheep Somehow
Donât forget that old standby âThe Mine Collapsed and Everyone Diedâ!
I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:
I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)
I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parentsâ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)
I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now Iâm Pregnant
I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It
I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis
Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Letâs Get Married, Iâm Glad You Said No Because Iâm Really Him In Disguise
Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome
The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)
Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor
Begging Is a Completely Viable Career Option With Flexible Hours and Unlimited Access to Alcohol
behold mongolian folk music genres
I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia
We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)
Witness My Many Ungulates
(While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant
On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)
Witness My Many Ancestorsâ Many Ungulates
I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If Itâs Made of Horseshoes
Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for âHorseâ)
You Might Not Know This About Me, But I Own a Horse
THE MONGOLIAN FOLK SONGS MADE IT BETTER.
now with more okinawan!
We Must Plant the Crops, Letâs Get Drunk!Â
We Must Harvest the Crops, Letâs Get Drunk!
Thereâs No Crops Right Now, Letâs Get Drunk!
Sex On the Beach Is Awesome, War Is Bad
There Are Ghosts in the Trees
The Japanese Exploit Us (And the Americans Do Too)
I Love the Sea, This Island Is Beautiful, War Is Still Bad
Hey, Thereâs an Old Man, Letâs Get Drunk!
Respect Your Parents Or You Will Be Lost at Sea Forever
As the daughter of a folksinger and spouse of a folklorist, I love this SO MUCH.  Hereâs some from the sub-sub-genre of French folk songs of the MidwestâŚ
I Am A Brawny-Armed Lumberjack Who Loves a Town Girl, Oh No!
Oh Fuck, I Slept With a Fur Trapper, What Shall I Tell Maman?
Hauling Logs, Rolling Logs, Driving Logs, All Day, What Ho!
Like Hell Youâre Marrying That Good for Nothing Bambocheur!
Fetch My Gold Ring That Fell Into the Sea! Â Now!
I Met A Sailor While A-Strolling, And Now We Are In Love!
I Want to Kiss the Sailor I Met A-Strolling, But Iâm Afraid My Father Will Find Out!
Oh Fuck, I Kissed the Sailor I Met A-Strolling And Now We Are Doomed!
Some Italian Folk Music Genres
A Spider Has Bitten Me And If I Do Not Dance I Will Die, Alas
I Am A Very Fancy Man With A Very Fancy Hat
The Cable Car Is A Thinly-Veiled Metaphor For Your Feminine Torture, O Woman
Rome Is The Very Best Place And Every Other Place Is Just Awful
I Love You, But You Are Married
I Love You, But You Are Fickle (Why Did You Dance With The Bakerâs Son, Thou Vixen?)
I Love You, But You Left Me All Alone On This Romantic Wind-Swept Hillside, Which Is Actually Very Pretty, But Not As Pretty As You, Foul Temptress
Rome Is Still The Best Place And Every Other Place Can Go Right To Hell
Seriously Once You Have Been To Rome You Will Just Be Sick At The Thought Of Being Anywhere Else, You Will Pine Away And Die
I Love You, But You Are Dead (Or Maybe You Just Went To Live In A Slightly Prettier Place)
Rome, Rome, O Rome, Ah Rome, Rome Rome Rome, Have I Mentioned That I Love Rome?
Venetian Special Genres:
Women Are Like The Ocean: Salty And Full Of Drowned Sailors
Women Are Like The Ocean: I Cannot Figure Them Out At All
I Saw You One Time At A Party And I Have Designs Upon Your Feminine Virtue
I Love You, But You Are Married To The Ocean (For Some Reason)
I thought I would add some Dutch ones, because I saw no one had added any: - That Girl Is A Prostitute (But At Least She Goes To Church)
- That Incompetent Sailor Is Actually A Girl, But She Will Have Sex With You If You Donât Kick Her Off The Boat
- Someone Of Any Occupation Is Doing Something, But Unfortunately They Are Now Dead
- Fuck You Spain (Haha, We Sunk Your Boat And Stole Your Silver)
- Fuck You England
- We Might Be Small, But We Will Fight You
- Life Isnât So Bad, If You Just Go Outside
- Fuck You Winter
- Look At That Guy (Wild Racism)
- We Like Going To Other Countries (More Wild Racism)
- Drinking Is Fun
- Drinking Makes Me Long For Sea
- God Is My Dad
- My Province Is Great And Full Of Nature
Some nice Russian folk songs:
There Was A War And Everyone is Dead, Thereâs Also a Symbolic Bird
There is Going to Be a War And Everyone Will Die, Thereâs Also a Sybmolic Bird
The Dyeing Is Happening Right Now, Thereâs Also a Symbolic Bird
I Had a Dream About Us Dying (No Birds Involved)
Alas You Are DeadÂ
Iâm a Bird, I Drink Vodka
Fuck Itâs Cold
Frost Do Not Freeze Me Do Not Freeze My Horse Do Not Freeze My Wife Please I Have Children
And my personal favourite:
Ayy Lmao This Guys Head Just Got Shot Off, We Are Going to Die Hahaha
I just couldnât miss an opportunity to provide you a comprehensive summary of Ukrainian folk music genres.
~ I Married To A Man And Moved Far From My Home But I Want Fucking Back On My Fucking Land To My Parents And A Guy Whom I Actually Planned To Marry Before My Societyâs Patriarchal Structure Destroyed My Life
~ A Guy Whom I Loved Loved Me And Also A Some Other Bitch So I Poisoned Him So That Nobody Gets Him
~ This Is My Land And I Love It Very Much, Period
~ I Made A Traditional Kupala Wreath And Released It On Water To Find My Love, No Sexual Hits Involved
~ I Have A Veeery Deeeeep Well In My Garden, And Also A Veeery Curly-Wurly Cabbage, And Also A Veeery Sweeeet Carrot Growing There, Come On Guys Check It Out, Oh, And There Are Totally No Sexual Hints
~ Graphic Descriptions Of Lesbian Sex
~ Everybody Is Dead After A Battle But There Is One Particular Cossack Whom I Am Especially Obligated To Mourn About Because He Is A Representative Of Our Entire Nationâs Young People
~ The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries
~Â The Couple Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries And Itâs Compared To Some Sad Shit Happening In Nature
~ Letâs Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine Hahaha Yay!
~Letâs Kill All People Who Threaten Ukraine And Involve Some Couple Who Cannot Be Together Because Of Various Reasons And Everybody Cries
Adding these well-known Cajun hits
~ I have a boat and have procured many crawfish do you love me?
~ I sure do love crawfish, boats, the bayou, and also dancing
~ My girlfriend can cook, and is therefore superior your girlfriend, who cannot
~ my girlfriend cannot cook and is therefore inferior to all other girlfriends
~ I saw you over a pile of crawfish and knew I was in love (on the bayou)
~ a list of regional dishes set to the tune of kitchen utensils
Sadly Iâve never listened to many Malaysian folk songs because they were never my parentsâ speed but Iâd like to contribute:
- Where the hell is your goat, sir? x8 and my love looks like a peeled egg
- Thereâs an old parrot on the windowsill x4 and my grandma only has 2 teeth left
- Check out that hot girl over yonder, now pick the fruit (itâs really a poem about manners), check out this hot girl, now letâs ripen a different fruit while sailing (itâs about gratitude)
- Weâre now singing about water spinach by the marsh and more foodstuff to be eaten
- LETâS GO HOME x9
- Weâre singing about a river now and boy it can beat out the seasons
- This is our mountain and itâs super tall and blue! ⤠⤠â¤Â
- The frog is sitting by the well, croak croak, and now he fell in and DIED, croaked croaked
- Iâm soaking in the pond because my joints hurts, I hope the harvest turns out well; nope, itâs all weeds and my love broke my heart
Chiming in with a few Australian classics such as:
- Iâm On A Convict Ship (And I Want To Go Home)
- I Stole A Sheep And Will Literally Commit Suicide Rather Than Go To Jail
- Small-Town Boy Makes Good As A Bushranger, Dies Heroically
- Letâs Have A Sheep-Shearing Race
- The Bush Is Confusing And Beautiful And Now Weâre Dead
- Why Is The Rum Gone?
- Seriously, Why Is The Fucking Rum Gone, There Is Literally Nothing Else To Do In This Godforsaken Wasteland
- Birds Are Pretty Cool, I Guess
- No Horse Is As Good Or As Fast As That One Horse Was That TimeÂ
- Fuck The Authorities, Letâs Have A Drink
- Real Blokes Fuck Women (Except When There Arenât Any)
some jewish folk songs for yall!
- Hello Adonai, Master of the Universe, Iâm Here to Sue You On Behalf of the Jewish People
- We Kidnapped Our Familyâs Goat Because It Was Sad and We Wanted It To Be Free (There Shouldnât Be Suffering)
- Food Is Literally So Important
- Iâm Meditating Under A Bunch of Trees (Itâs Really Hard Not to Cry)
- Shabbat Is Fucking Great
- Weâre Not Dead Yet
- Hey Kids, Youâre Gonna Endure Suffering But At Least You Can Be Inspired By the Torah
- Detailed Description of What Weâre Gonna Have For Dinner Tomorrow (Iâm Excited)
- One Day Things Are Gonna Be Better, Even Though It Really Sucks Right Now
- Oh To Be a Cat Sleeping On the Roof
- This Candle Has The Souls of My Ancestors In It (Letâs Get Drunk)
- I Love This Girl And We are Getting Married In 24 Hours (My Mom is Making Some Food)
Every time I see this there are new additions to entertain me. :DÂ
Might as well add some Czech folk songs like:
- I Am Alone, When I Take Care Of My Horses, I Am Also Alone When I Have Sex With My Girlfriend Somehow
- Son, Did You Plow The Field? I Didnât. Son, Youâre A Failure!
- Girl, You Lost Your Geese, Go Find Them
- You Are A Bird, So I Will Ask You About Our Countryâs Agriculture
- We Canât Be Together Because Youâre Richer Than Me
- I Will Become A Priest And All The Girls Will Cry
- Thereâs A Cat And A Dog, Now Letâs State Obvious Things About The WeatherÂ
- I Will Take Care Of A Plant
- I Will Kill Animals To Make This Girl Like Me
- The Dog Is Jumping
- I Will Go To War Instead Of Paying For The Property I Destroyed
- Iâm Pissed At This Lake Because Thereâs Too Much Water And Me And My Friend Canât Go Around It (Possibly Gay, Probably Not)
 Iâd add some andalusian/spanish medieval ones and also sephardic ones (can be into the jewish section-or in the general spanish-andalusian medieval) without particular distinction :
-Oh The Moorish Queen Who Was Christian Before, Wants a Slave, Letâs Get Her Pregnant Sister, Kill Her Husband And Exchange Children.
-Mom, Iâve Dreamed Something Beautiful. Daughter, Youâre Prophetising Your Future Incestuous Marriage With Your Brother and His Death.
-Oh This Boy Has a Fixation With a Misterious Girl And He Is Jealous Of The River. Girlâs Drowns In The River. Boy Was Right All Along (Matarile-rile-rile-rĂł).
-My Boyfriend Is a Crockery Painter, Thatâs it.
-Iâm a Prostitute And Iâm Transfixed By Green Eyes of a Client Whoâs Gonna Stay With Me One (1) Night. Heâs The Most Unromantic Person, Heâ Just Want to Give Me a Dress.
-Seven (F*cking Delicious) Ways to Cook the Eggplant.
- Tarara Is an Excentric Girl With a Pimple In The Ass. Itâs a Major Event For The Community To Go To See It Burst, so Come and Take a Seat.
-This Man is Giving Water to His Horse and SIngs, Mum, I Think I Love Him. Ok, Iâll Kill You Both. God Transforms Them into Plants. Mum Kill Them Again. God Transforms Them into Animals. Mum Kills Them Again. God Transforms Them into Poisonous Waters. Mum Gets a Bath and Dies.
Incredible. They're so close to getting it.
@bossuary âs tag made me reblog this:
#rachel weisz openly thinking about getting absolutely railed by patricia velasquez

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In honor of me approaching my first 6 months mark as a flight attendant, here are some highlights from my time in this job:
When a lady stopped me gently to whisper that i had âmastered the art of kindnessâ
When an elderly woman told me i was âput on earth to be a flight attendantâ
Each and every time someone complimented my nails
When i found an $8000 diamond watch left behind under a seat, gave it to a gate agent, only to have the passenger come running back 10 minutes later. Gate agent: man u wouldve been in trouble, huh? Man whom looked like a bond villain: i wouldve been SHOT.
Every lesbian ive worked with and had the nice bonding moment of âur gay?? Im gay!!â
That time a man tried to get huffy with me because he wasnt in 1st class and i got to say âsir u can either sit in this seat or u can sit in a seat in the terminal while u wait to take the next flightâ
When i had an emergency landing because the pilots lost steering and we all thought we were gonna die but then we didnât and everyone just applauded the landing and didnt even complain about the 2 hour delay
When my flight was delayed for 3 hours because the plane wouldnt start so the crew and i just took a really long nap in the jetway
Every 4 and 5 star hotel ive stayed at for free
When we overnighted in the middle of nowhere in alabama and went to a sports bar at midnight. The bartender locked the door so it was just him and us and his friend, and we all got super drunk on obscure alcohols and i kicked everyones ass at pool
That time i had an emergency landing because one pilot had such explosive diarrhea that the other 2 pilots had to wear oxygen masks
When we overnighted in a casino resort in new orleans and ended up drunk on margaritas and playing blackjack with a bunch of old people at 2pm
Every little kid on my flights
Every dog i got to pet on my flights
When we were flying to nyc during julliard recruitments and half the seats were taken up by cellos
Being in airports late at night and seeing people sleep in the weirdest places because they just dont care (bathroom floors, under gate agent desks, etc)
When a woman forgot her actual baby on the plane
Woman: can i board first? Gate agent: are u special needs, active military or priority? Woman: no i just want to board first. Gate agent: maam i have 70 other people who also want to board first, im not looking for a line leader.
My very first working flight, when a man pointed to my necklace and said âis that a ball gag?â And, in my shock, i said âno, im gayâ
That time a ramp agent came up to me holding up his phone and said âwanna see something weird?â and i said yes, reservedly, thinking it might be gross but then he held out his phone and it was just a picture of hundreds of paradise birds that we were apparently flying to a zoo
I have now been a flight attendant for 3 years and 2020 has been a dumpster fire in so many ways, including but not limited to the travel industry, but here are some highlights from this past year in particular
The old woman on my plane who saw a teenager was having a panic attack and immediately moved to sit with her and brought her so much comfort she was able to fall asleep
Working a flight with only 4 passengers so we all played Cards Against Humanity
Everyone who has very gently said âStay safeâ rather than âGoodbyeâ
Complimenting passengersâ fun masks and being complimented in return
The anxiety service dogs at the Philly airport wearing vests that say Stress Relief
The little girl in the airport who begged me to french braid her hair like mine (and her very apologetic mother)
The barista at the airport cafe who gave me free lattes every week for two months because I always came by around closing time
The beachside resort my FA and I got stuck at in key west for 3 days around my birthday because of a hurricane. If youâre gonna get stuck somewhere because of a hurricane, it might as well be a beachside resort with bottomless margaritas
Each time I reunited with a flight attendant/pilot friend in an airport or at a hotel or on an airplane. It always feels like a little gift
Speaking of gifts, every passenger that has ever given me anything but especially the man that brought freshly made muffins from his bakery for the crew last month, they were divine
The flight attendant I worked with on Halloween who watched a horror movie marathon with me at the hotel even though he was terrified of scary movies
Every aircraft cleaner
Every hotel cleaner
Every unaccompanied minor on my flights, who always make me feel like a temporary big sister
The time my roommate (also a flight attendant) got a flat tire while in the airport parking garage and no less than 3 different pilots stopped to help us change it
Flight crew game nights in our hotel rooms
The beach overnight on the last day of summer when my pilot and I (drunkenly) decided to go swimming in the ocean at midnight
The flight attendant who approached me in a hotel lobby and said we had flown together two years earlier, just after sheâd been hired, and sheâd wanted to fly with me again ever since
The nurse on my flight who, when the passenger beside her began seizing, leapt into action and saved her life
The tween girl who wanted to be a flight attendant and had us quiz her on airport codes (she got every single one correct đł)
All the flight crew members who regularly help me steal supplies from the aircrafts (gloves, masks, water bottles, sani wipes etc) to bring to Phillyâs homeless camps and protesters
We live under capitalism and its rule seems inescapable. Iâm eager for the days when covid is just a bad memory, and the quality of and access to healthcare is such that, come the next virus, no one has to choose between paying rent or paying a hospital bill. Iâm eager for the days when rent and paychecks are a thing of the past, when we work for the pleasure of working, without the pressure of being born into a world run by money and the men who control it.
In the meantime, all we have is each other, and Iâve been very lucky to have spent my time with so many generous, soft-handed people who have made this year not only bearable, but often enjoyable in spite of the rest. I have been very lucky to work a job that I (mostly) love, even if it is part of an industry that cares only for numbers, not people.
We can only keep moving in that direction, helping others along as we go. đ
Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: whereâs my mom
Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: whyâs there so much stuff
Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church:  w h e r e  a r e  t h e  b o n e s
Me, vampire, walking into any denominational holy place: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Me, culturally catholic, walking into a protestant church without very much images and golden stuff: OKAY WHEREâS THE DRAMA?
A woman is drying incense sticks, a process in making incense. Vietnamese believe that incense is a tool to connect the living with the spirits. When people burn incense, they can talk to spirits and pray.
Š Khanh Phan-Thi
Guerlain Abeille bottle.
Marble. Roman copy after a Hellenistic original of the end of the 3rd cent. BCE (restored with head of modern work). Inv. No. MC 299.
(vĂa Drunken old woman. Rome, Capitoline Museums, Palazzo Nuovo, Gallery.)
This statue itâs the very representation of decadence. The âdrunken old womenâ became a popular character in comical plays: She was a prostitute, matchmaker, witch and drunkard. This made her a perfect comical character. But what we see here is not comical at all. From a modern perspective, itâs a tragic situation: She is a beggar, almost naked, drinking on the streets while hugging a huge wine bottle. But seen with more caution, that bottle is ridiculously huge and its decoration is so exquisite it could cost lots of money, her hair is combed with care and kept behind a bandana-like fabric , her feet still have their sandalsâŚthereâs overall a sensation of strangeness, who is she? why is she drinking? is she a beggar?
Well, weâll never know. I donât think the author were trying to make a portrait of a commoner old lady. Sure, beggars old women with alcoholic problems existed in ancient times, but I believe here the author is not taking a real-life personality (even for late-hellenism standards, that would be very avant-garde), the nearest thing they could do is portraying theatrical characters. And thatâs what she is: Just a character. Some specialist speak about an âexemplary statueâ: This is, a statue that reflects the consecuences of bad habits. Others speak about a âcruelty treatment of indigenceâ, like an old woman who is sculpted just to laugh at. I donât agree: Being a character comical in its nature, the statue is just a representation of a non-existent thing. Even more, if we can agree, the authorâs naturalistic treatment âhumanizesâ the character so much it makes us believe could have been a real person. Thereâs not cruelty but a deep humanization of a âcomical clichĂŠ characterâ as it was in the ancient world.

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I donât know who Megan Kelly is but I wanna piss her off
dis bitch
âVerifiable factâ đđ
Iâd PISS ON HER tbh
btw Saint Nicholas, whom Santa Claus is based on, was a black guy
and we donât know exactly what jesus looked like, but hereâs an artistic reconstruction of an average 20-something male from his ethnic group at the time
DOES THIS LOOK FUCKING WHITE TO YOU
I want this post everywhere
jesus was represented more or less accurately as an ethnically jewish arab man up until the reign of pope alexander vi, in the late 15th century. since he was viciously persecuting roman jews during this time, alexander wanted to make them less sympathetic to the public, and did so in part by ordering that portrayals of jesus be based off of his son, cesare borgia.
the reason âjesus is whiteâ is because someone purposefully attempted to alter the perception of history to benefit his goal of persecuting a targeted ethnic group.
Ooh, interesting historical note.
I donât usually share posts like this but I always want to piss off Megan Kelly
Canon Santa not fanon Santa
I think sometimes tumblr needs to stop spreading this kind of shitty reasoning without proof. We know Jesus WAS NOT WHITE but ethnically semite, but making fake assertions because hey yes, itâs misinformation at it finest...Like, the reason Jesus is white itâs just because he is usually depicted as the majority ethnic group since medieval ages, not thanks to a renaissance prince. You can see Pantocrators and christian art since 1000 A.D. depicting him as a white common man. Just need to make a bit of researching, guys...
Also, Santa Claus comes from the story of St. Nicholas of Bari, who was born in Turkey, so he could OR couldnât be âwhiteâ (whatever this means to americans, cause the conception of âwhitenessâ itâs not a thing in europe-like italians, spanish and greeks are as white as germans or english- and thatâs what annoys me cause Cesare Borgia was spanish, so he wasnât even white for americans standards??). He could also be just...you know, tanned-skinned. Like...mediterranean standard guy. Sometimes I just hate tumblr cause american activism (mediterranean people= non-white).
Anna Karenina & Alexei Vronsky in Anna Karenina. Vronsky story (tv mini-series, Russia, 2017)
#men undressing women: [drakeNO.jpg]#men assisting in dressing women: [drakeYES.jpg]#heâs really concentrating in getting those laces sitting right#what a good boy#anna karenina: vronskyâs story#gif harrietvane
On of the things that I learned in high school, which was just one of those facts that was just kind of like, âYeah?â but is also one of those facts that you rarely see represented, that it does sort of startle into this idea of âwait, is that right.â Men absolutely helped their wives and lovers dress, especially in times when dress had become complicated enough that women could not get dressed alone (ties and buttons that had to fasten in the back for one reason or another, for example). If a woman didnât have a servant to help her dress, and most women did not, it was the job of her husband once she was married.
This leads to the interesting trope of a husband discovering his wifeâs loverâs handiwork, for example in this 1840 illustration from Paris le Soir. The caption reads:Â âThatâs funny! This morning I made a knot in this lace, and tonight thereâs a bow!â
OMG somebody make this into a movie