𝙶𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚁𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗

I’ve noticed a major influx of Master muses following me & I don’t mind it at all , however please just keep this in mind. In no way am I pointing fingers at anyone , but I just want to make a tiny heads up since there’s been a large number of Master muses showing up in my following list. So far since I gave the okay @ryogai thus far is one of the few master’s that he’ll well … call Master.

❛DO YOU  even remember who the hell you were hah ?! I remember that pain in the ass pretty well , same shit like you are now , less intense and he wasn’t someone that always did shit alone. ❜

his words delivered over and over again makes him feel a pang of annoyance not liking how it sounded from the Berserker’s mouth. husky hiss heard even he’s not immune to offering  a growl in return the longer this continues on. all intentions to speak still remain , yet now ? now it’s come down to who’s going to end up turning around or if they would continue to fight all over again to make a mess out of these pristine bullshit walls.

oh but he knows what Hijikata had done in life , how he went about lifting screams from the mouths of those that vowed to never chirp loudly. yeah , bullshit they screamed , begged , cried and pissed themselves in fear every damn time it’s just how it was. this though , the whole carrying the shinsengumi name onto his shoulders , becoming the shinsengumi and everything that they meant back then as his reasoning was concerning. he’s always been too good , a pure -hearted man in his own way even if it means he is like he is right now. of course he’s no fucking angel , he’d left Hijikata behind , saying something so stupidly insensitive he supposed even if it was just so that he could die there. what a laugh ! there he was that time alive , well and kicking while the one person he shouldn’t have left behind suffered and died.

❛ my bastard oni – fukucho is right here you’re HALF RIGHT , but sure go off.  you’re here , but you’re not here how you take it is entirely up to you. ❜

better late then never even if words are laced with his own irritation truly while staring towards hijikata not once backing away. he doesn’t do this to piss the man off , yet how things are said doesn’t help to uncover that , if only he’s sure that it only makes things worse really. ah , hearing the dog part does nothing but grind his nerves just a little bit more then he would like to admit however something about it just makes that inner rage surfaces almost. hand no longer holding onto the unruly hair he only grits his teeth by then even if the words almost make him huff in a blind rage.

funny how he means one thing , but goes about it in another manner. no , no that’s not it he wants hijikata to be pissed off at him, yell , bitch and everything else just to let go of that weight that’s planted itself onto the berserker’s shoulders. this is his own fault right ? because he’d left hijikata on his own that day , this was a punishment that was being tossed his way even though he’d helped them when it came to the one pain in the ass they’d went head to head with. god , just thinking about that man’s name was annoying in itself that for a brief moment he’s sure a headache surfaced up. gross , but still once he’s no longer smelling the scent of gunpowder and blood there’s a puff of air escaping him. pushing himself away from the wall one second next he’s watching the berserker’s back making itself known to his line of sight again.

just seeing it a second time , or was it a third time ? he can’t remember anymore he just knows that it’s a sight that bothers him more then he’d care to admit. a moment in he wants to yell that the other shouldn’t have turned his back on him , that he should damn well look at him this time around. funny how his own thoughts and actions always seem to be a pain in the ass that doesn’t catch up with his brain or body too well.

─── one moment his back has little to no weight outside of what comes with the coat he wears , but now ? now he feels not only another’s presence but now someone boldly leaning against him. had the voice not been too familiar then there’s a chance h had allowed them to fall. what a joke as if he’d be that cruel towards the other & let him fall anytime soon. of course when he hears the drawl of his name there’s a snort that escapes him without a moments notice. each word that escapes him leads to one poke against the others forehead & a half smirk in return the whole time.

❛ ha ? I am no matter how you look at I’m paying attention since I haven’t let your ass fall yet. ❜

had anyone spoken about being able to talk with their sword then he probably would have given them quite the look. now however he could admit that it was odd briefly , yet at this point it’s not that bad if only it’s something that’s been a trip that’s for sure. great company is how he’d sum it up , add in the fact that they were partners in crime back in the day of him living ? it made things all the more great , if not completely interesting. no part of him regrets things , but part of him wanted to apologize sooner or later for dying & leaving Kijinmaru on his own as well.

One step at a time is all that he can say for now he’ll just enjoy the light – heartedness of this exchange.

❛ IN mind & spirit I’m an old man thank you very much !  ❜

───it’s arrived , the day that he’d mot dread comes to live before a blink is even managed. old man among us , old man among us … OLD MAN AMONG US. it echoes over & over in an unending loop the pit of his stomach drops along with all smugness that was once present. how dare he ?! mind swirling through shock & dismay perhaps he should be offended right ? no , yes ? no , but hell fucking yes he should be offended. there was pride in once being one of the younger two in the shinsengumi & now he’s ‘ one of the older ‘ ones. where did he go wrong in his life ? oh , that’s right he lived life until he was a complete old fart , but at least there were some good times. course that doesn’t stop him from doing what any other old person would probably do , there he goes just reaching upwards to tug on hijikata’s ear , words hissed out with bitterness the whole time.

❛ I’m young & fresh looking damnit. take that shit back  ❜

─── time & time again he’s called on to tag along with a bunch of loud & tiring people from singularities to flat out gathering materials. yet here he is with the other two & some extras in what anyone would consider way back when. it’s close enough to be his former timeline , before all that shit hit the fan & losses piled up one after another. most times he’s flippant , lax to the point that others could become frustrated , or blunt & aggressive where others may become offended. 

eyes gaze about to take in surroundings laid out before them , confusion forever present upon ever set of faces within his group , even his current contractor’s as well. hilarious although he’s not ignorant towards the other set of people not to far from them. had he been aware then even his body & mind would grind to a screeching halt due to shock as well.

it’s not as if he’d heard his name being said as silence surrounds him , yet a glance is casted off to the side almost as if he’d heard it. really he’s unwilling to go about things & while the loudness of one of the servants barely grabs his attention he attempts to fixate elsewhere. snapping of branches beneath heavy feet isn’t lost upon him & once more does he look off to the side. 

by chance is it that he sees something that takes hold of his attention figures large & foreboding in the most amusing of ways. there is little care when he moves to take out what one could assume is apart of the singularity although he can’t help but feel some doubt about it when the stature is anything but common.

mixture of annoyance & that need for battle settle within his body , steps taken bit by bit before he constipates using one or both. no matter it is what it is & there’s little attempt at reasoning on his behalf. sword swung with another word from himself or that bit sized contractor it’s then & there that he feels that notion of familiarity settle once eyes cast towards another area. who or what surface such common questions always come at that point that by now he’s staring as a mixture of caution & laxness wash over him. still he doesn’t unsummon his weapon , yet holds onto it with gentle care.

they were wolves —— all canines , intrinsic and wild.  where else can the teeth go but sink into the flesh and tear the hurt out before it infects and festers.  hands so deeply tattooed by their scars and they are tongue tied because the emotions run too deep.  it was hard to let it out so they let the bones speak for them. let the copper in their mouths and on their tongues speak. their blood lava , their breaths ashes , and from those ashes maybe he will learn to be honest about what lies in his heart ; maybe he will learn there may be more and he is not atlas.  

anger still makes its nest.  anger is what he breathes and chokes on.  what he softly , excruciatingly gnaws as the other continued to spit acid.  bruised jaw and flesh are numb , the muscle underneath too is numbed.     “    what does it matter?    ”    a venomous hiss fumes from bloodstained teeth.  it has always been like this , ever since childhood ,  blame him for it all , let him take the anger and wear it like war paint because he is strength.  the one who stood when no one else couldn’t. he was so well trained , well equipped. he could not say more , nothing more to saito’s taunting , but he could still raise his fists and he could still beat the living shit out of this rambunctious mutt. their blows continue to fly , sterile white walls and floors painted with their ruby ichor. their heels leave skid marks and thrown bodies leave dents.

then the vice commander begins to have enough , skips backwards leaving space but not for long as he lunges his knee into the other’s abdomen. a few more steps forward , both are hauled onto the floors once again. the thuds against that hard floor ricochets through the halls , and still not a single soul around to witness the rough housing — that was for the best , however. this was their personal tango. their play , their anguish , their twisted little bonding because the words nestle in their hearts and throats is lodged and refused to let go. the heart does not speak and instead it acts out its harrowing reverie. the most he has ever felt resentful , “ what more do you want from me?! ” voice gurgles in the blood of his mouth , almost drowned out by the continuous beating and heavy heaving and grunting. there was a strain in his voice , something more wanted to spill from his throat , something more wanted to crawl out from it and thrash as feral beasts. you can hear it , how much more wants to be blurted.

─── rabid & wild, lawless but not completely so when it comes to matters within a pack. teeth barred towards one another. most fight one another with purpose , his own is proof of that even if it means hands would be caked in another but scars ,bites & blood. it is what it always that’s how it’s always been , yet he moves out of his docile place within that pack in order to prove a point towards the other. what does it matter ? that question annoys him all the same now this self made man that holds everything upon his shoulders. atlas , not just anyone though.

this man was the shinsengumi’s atlas , fool that was harsh on the surface yet he’s the kindest of them with that golden heart & pure intentions. ah , but while that’s a thought he can’t help but listen to words laced with that possible anger. finally ! his own flesh stings with pain the whole time & that hiss eases it away once it falls onto his ears. ❛ for you to stop being an idiot & taking all the blame. you’re not some bullshit superman that can hold up everything on your pasty ass shoulders. oh how about this as a want too , finally realize you’ve still got me & pancake chested okita to help you , stop taking the blame just onto yourself.  ❜

this loudmouth always taking the blame for things the whole time , he’s heard some tales of his childhood barely so to continue on with baring the weight of blame even now ? stupid , completely idiotic & self – punishing. for every punch that lands on him , he moves to continue with returning it with vigor. feet shift , skid & struggle to catch himself as to not fall. he could die , this was his possible deathbed , one that was fitting within his guilt ridden mind. let it out even if it means pain on his behalf it’s far worth it. taunts continue to fly without pause.

words ‘ tender ‘ even as he wheezes from the knee to the stomach laughter brims within him. oh he’ll play kind , soft as if the other was fragile , if not completely delicate ... bullshit ! as if he’d do something fool-hearty like that for long even if gloved hands seem to glide over the bloodier side of the berserkers face. had anyone seen the hallway’s walls , the flooring & them as well then a bloodbath would be fitting to describe it , even if it would have felt mild. oh but he doesn’t skip a beat , never turns up the charm nor attempts to lower the cynical parts of himself. just at the drop of a hat he takes a fist full of hair in hand & while it might hurt him more then anything he doesn’t put up the stops to recklessly slam his forehead against the others. shit it hurts &the sharp stinging he feels doesn’t piss off at all.

@miburoni​​ @ichibantai​​ @ardenssolis​​

            it was a foreboding silence that came after.  a darkening welled up within those pools of red , a sharpening while his head stayed turned and still from the blow dealt onto him.  leathered appendages first raise to his jaw , taking hold of it and gingerly jerking it.  testing for any pain or breakage , and with a calibrated crack adjustment , he turns his head back slow glaring darts into saitō hajime who continued to howl at him ,  to drill in his words.  and there was no clear cue as to what hijikata may be thinking right then and there.  anger is obvious , it is what stands out from his scowl.  his gritting of the teeth with canine tinted light with red from the bottom lip cut by it. 

right set of knuckles presses itself onto the crook of the left palm.  they crack as he exerts pressure , brows furrowing deeper and deeper.  tightly knit as his maw bares tightly clenched.    “   you run that mouth too much ,   ”   despite his contorted visage , the words come like a growling whisper.  a write of the throat , hissing through locked jaw.  and before he dares to say anything else , the vice commander’s hand bolts across.  as quick as ghosts , seizing the other by the collar and jerks him forward to meet his red fist.  the sound of skidding soles across the sterile tiles of the halls ; bone clashing with bone echoed ; backs to walls , bodies slammed , their heated dance generating a cacophony more deafening than the vice commander’s howls , more deafening than the third captain’s roars.  ricocheting friction as the tussle thunders.    “   you want a fight , hah?  you want me to beat you to a pulp , hah?!  if that’s what disciplines you so be it!    ”

❛ because I have to make up for your lack there of , damn pussy. ❜  ───it’s a poor move , one that could cost him more then he’d understand yet it’s too late what’s done is done. still he rages for his vice – commander always , hating that he just allows himself to suffer time & time again , allowing blame to be on placed upon himself even if he’d done nothing wrong. maybe he should have landed another punch one for good damn measure just to ensure that there’s no turning back. he howls , teeth bared towards another & never backing down yet there’s something amusing knowing that he’d drawn first blood & in turn he offers nothing but a silent smirk. that’s right he’d done that without fear of what could happen ,willingly laying his life on the line just to attempt to ease that burden hijikata holds onto.

where smug meets fear there is no line to him even as red clad hands reach out to grab his collar & strike him fast. about time , that’s all he can think even as pain soars through his being. yet he doesn’t hold back himself once more does he take to moving to lash out himself all over again. he wanted a fight , he wanted to see his vice –commander freed of some burden just enough to crack that shell , to at least bring back. features ache although he doesn’t crumble into a grinding halt , no he continues onwards skidding around , fingers already tightening to continue on even as he howls his own words in retaliation towards the vice – commander. enough of this shit , just let it all out even if it means he’ll be playing the bad guy once again in the eyes of hijikata , & others.

                                                    the blood

oh it courses through you. your power is never outside of your periphery. it is always there, rushing and freezing and boiling. your strength is in how well you know yourself, and your abilities. you are acutely aware of your energy, and what bleeds you.

tagged by @maledicti-oculi​ ( thank you ! ) 

Okita has no idea what the war has done to Hijikata. She was not there with him, with the Shinsengumi. He may not be the same man she met, but he is still the Shinsengumi.  

There is no turning back for those who choose the warrior’s path. Lose a battle, kill, send comrades to death, be alone. There is no turning back. A bushi must keep moving forward with pride. Even after his own death, Hijikata continues to follow that path. He carries the pride of all the Shinsengumi.

“You are kind, Saito-san. You think so highly of me. The truth is, I’m too much of a coward to help Hijikata-san”.  

She is aware that Hijikata is suffering. Yet, her selfish wish prevents Okita from helping him. Her loneliness and anger will only make things worse. Okita cannot talk about Kondo Isami, or she will end up blaming Hijikata for Kondo’s death. It is not Hijikata’s fault, but he was there, while she was sleeping peacefully.

Okita cannot forgive Hijikata. He is the embodiment of her deepest desire. He fought until the end. He is everything she wants to be. How can she help Hijikata, when all she feels is guilt and envy?

“I will find a way to cure my tuberculosis, and then I will be able to see Hijikata-san and say that he is no longer alone. This is my selfish plan”.

❛ You’re wrong I don’t think highly of you at all , but I can agree that you’re a coward & then some.  I’m not kind at all , but even then I don’t want to see that guy suffering while you’re here wallowing in your own self pity . ❜

───Annoyance gained as breath leaves him in a hiss , while he does understand the whole issue she has with Hijikata even he finds fault in those words of hers the whole time. Words of a coward someone that’s lingering too long on the past & everything. He won’t talk about Kondo , there’s no real reason to bring him up given that the topic itself is about Hijikata only. Sure , sure the man had hidden the truth from her about Kondo’s death & the hatred towards that’s fact is understandable even then.

For once eyes roll towards those last words , annoyance having long since rooted itself into his being. No those words are stupid , ignorant as can be but even he recalls Okita always being someone too selfish when it came to it this however ? It blew everything out of the water that bitterness soon resides within him. While he’s crude , if not hostile towards Hijikata he doesn’t want him to feel alone , but her ? She’s been here longer but allowed their own Vice – Commander to swim , breathe &live in an idea that he was alone & never once did anything to help cast it aside. 

“I think his eyes have a different glow now”. Okita did not see much of the effect of the war on Hijikata. She cannot tell how much all those battles changed him. And she avoids talking about it. 

“Hijikata-san is a good swordsman. I think this qualifies him as a Saber”. It is not everyday that Okita praises Hijikata swordsmanship. “Well, I suppose Hijikata-san is Hijikata-san. No matter the class. He would be the same guy”. 

❛ Have you not been paying any attention to him ? Thought you were suppose to be another person that he was close to ? My bad , my bad guess I need to make sure to take care of him since the war did effect him more then he’ s probably willing to accept & speak oft. ❜