Kenzie

UM HELLO WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS??

My favorite way to self sabotage is to think about all the ways I will never actually know him.

They way I’ll never see those sweet brown eyes sparkle in the sun. Or the way they’d light up when he talks about his favorite films. I’ll never know his favorite restaurant or his go-to order. I’ll never know his favorite tea, or how he likes his coffee. I’ll never know which mug is his favorite. The way his scent will never linger in my bathroom after a shower. I’ll never know where he’s ticklish, or see his nose scrunch up with laughter. I’ll never know his darkest secrets, or the things that make him tick. I’ll never get to be his safe place when he’s falling apart after holding it together for a bit too long. I’ll never know how he likes to sleep, or feel the warmth of his skin against mine. Perhaps the worst of it all is that I’ll never be his favorite pair of eyes to get lost in, or his favorite hand to hold. He’ll never wonder what my favorite book is, or my favorite color. He’ll never wonder which flowers are my favorite or which ice cream flavor I like best. I’ll never be the girl he can’t stop thinking about, though god knows I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s really quite sad, to get so caught up in a world that only exists within the confines of my mind. Because at the end of the day, we’re just two strangers. And that’s all we’ll ever be.