hannibal shitposts

pov you are a casual passer by in nbc hannibal. apologies, this concert is cancelled due to a human violin being found on our stage, please contact the box office for refunds. no dog walking on this beach due to human totem pole and assorted loose body parts. no parking : human tree. court is adjourned for the week as the judge has recently been murdered and displayed from the ceiling. no horse riding today : man in horse. museum closed : human head found on skeleton. we are sorry but we are not open for tourists today due to a human origami heart being discovered in this church. private painting viewings forbidden from now on : priceless artwork has been eaten.

every once in a while I remember that hannibal lecter would show up at crimes he committed and be like “girl WHO did that???”