Ask Nicely

This one hits close to home. Definitely have gone through waves of this with @secretshelf

Due to pregnancy and post-partum issues, and just general life chaos we’ve both needed periods where we pull back from other relationships. I refer to this as cocooning when it happens to me.

I have a hard time with advice asks, because I don’t know the structure of your relationships or your priorities or the context so…. I’d be a fool to tell you what to do.

For us, what we did, was support this period of cocooning in the other. And paused the social and kink adventures a bit if needed. And tried to give the other partner what they needed as far as we could provide it, until they were restored or rested or back on track in their lives.

I guess I might start with exploring not what you need to cut out, but what your partner needs and what of that can you give them.

I’m fat. Ooooh yes, fatty fat FAT. And guess what? It doesn’t mean anything besides just that. It doesn’t mean I’m ugly, unattractive, less worthy, not sexy or less capable. It doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy or unhappy. It just means I’m fat. And that is perfectly fine. My body can do amazing shit. On Friday it performed 5 of the 11 numbers in my Big Babes Bonanza show - this body also makes me a living since I’m a full time model I kinda need this fat bawdy. This body has kept tiny preemie babies warm and comforted friends with excellent hugs and my chest is Idris’ favorite pillow 😂 ok maybe not that last part but hey maybe one day! This body saved my daddy’s life earlier this year by donating my stem-cells to him - after undergoing a ton of health tests and guess what? Ya girls’ body passed with flying colors. Because AGAIN guess what? I’m fat and it means just that. It does not mean I have to automatically be unhealthy. And even if I was, guess what else? That’s none of your muhfuggin business 😘 I’m fat and that’s ok and I get to also be happy and free and sexy and healthy and a goddamn badass. .

Bewitched.