Everything is just hunky dorky....

One year ago today, our friend Jack (aka Tank) passed on from this world. Jack was an amazingly kind, affectionate, thoughtful and giving soul who always managed to see the best in everyone he encountered. His bright red beard and his giant body made him stand out in any crowd, his smile probably could have been condemned by the CDC it was so damn contagious and his giggle I am willing to bet could have even made the most hardened of individuals crack a smile.

I know that there is a lot of drama surrounding this topic and I know how easy it is for this day to spiral into sadness and despair for a lot of us. But I would like to make this day as uplifting, positive, and helpful, as our Jack was.

Here are some ways I believe we can help make this happen. Ways we can truly honor the life and legacy of Jack on this day:

1) Donate to Lifelong in Jack’s memory. One of the things Jack was truly passionate about was helping others, especially the clients he worked with at Lifelong, he loved working with them and felt truly great that he was making a difference in their lives. I know they also miss him dearly, a donation in his memory helps them to continue to do what he so loved to do.

https://give.lifelong.org/give/45401/#!/donation/checkout

2) Go out into your communities and commit acts of love & kindness in honor of Jack. Buy a stranger a coffee, give someone a compliment, offer someone a helping hand, start an impromptu dance party etc. Take the love and kindness that Jack shared and share it with those around you.

3) Reblog this post adding your favorite memory of Jack. Reblogging this helps us pass the positive message around and it would be so lovely to hear about all the silliness, kindness, and happiness he spread to those who knew him.

In just 10 days this amazing, beautiful soul would have been 29 years old. His life was cut short due to a fucking asshat murderer who still continues to be allowed to live, and he feels no remorse for all of this;of course!!

And all of you felt so enraged for the first month but have since fell so silent about this.

Let me tell you, there has not been a single night since Jack has passed that I haven't felt guilty for his passing, that I haven't retraced all of my actions or inactions, that I haven't replayed all of our conversations and interactions looking for a way I could have been a better friend to Jack. I loathe the day should I ever face his poor mum or gram or brother in person and tell them I did all I could to save him because I know I didn't.

Because I knowingly let my friend walk back into a relationship I knew wasn't good for him just because I didn't want to be confrontational because I didn't want to be on his bad side because I didn't want to be "that queen" but if I knew then what I know now I would go kicking and screaming.

Jack didn't deserve this!!

I should have been better, I should have done better, I should have been a better friend. I should have given him the knee jerk reaction to his bullshit apology that was shaped and constructed by that asshole and not at all by Jack. I should have spoken my mind, I should have been stubborn as I have my whole life, I should have stood up and not been silent. I am so sorry I failed you Jack. I am so fucking sorry.