All Good Things Must End

i am a vegetable medley and god is sautéing me on medium high heat 

idk why everyone took me saying this as a bad thing… it translates to “i am becoming delicious” 

art is open to interpretation

it took nine seconds for me to fully process what i was watching and then i started LAUHGHING

I would be dead

what’s that noise. 

sounds like a bunch of rocks hitting each other

i’m going to check

the……. gargoyles…. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….

siri ur a judgemental piece of shit

lmao excuse my language but reese’s penis butter cups lol 

want to thank Officer Estevez from the Alice County Police Department for helping to break me out the drywall i sealed myself in again trying to turn into a butterfly. Officer Estevez has shown more interest in my real-life metamorphosis project than my dad Nathan ever has and his kindness will not go ignored

“Do NOT tell the world about this” 200,000 notes

It is pitch black outside and someone is mowing their lawn

power move

Update: the someone is my father

does he have a flashlight

being a preteen girl is so weird i remember one time when i was 11 a friend wouldn’t talk to me for a week because she was mad that the ritual we did at a slumber party to summon the jonas brothers into her dreams didn’t work for her but i had a nightmare about them chasing me through a dark airport