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i would let this man bang me so hard with no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen door to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I grasp for air, scream and huff, upside down on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on the chair, being carried, against a wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in a car, on the motorcycle, in the bed of a trunk, in a trampoline, in a bounce house, inside a pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, having the most toe curling, toe clenching, back arching, legs shaking, fist clenching, muffled sounds, ear ringing, mouth drooling, nose drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, can't take it anymore, legs divorcing and breaking in half, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, fireworks, sheet gripping, knuckle cracking, jaw dropping, soul snatching, over stimulating, ovulating, vile, sloppy, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, Beasley, devilishly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, black hole cresting, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, body numbing, can't walk, head nodding, volcano erupting, sweat rolling. Voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, skin peeling, pussy popping, back cuts, heavenly, devils tango, and still worth it.
I have an honest question and I don't want to sound rude or anything at all but what's so interesting about CNC. Like I see people hype it up but to me it just feels like romanticizing r4pe..I'm not really into CNC so I can't talk bad or downplay whatever they do but I'm just asking because I want to understand it better.
A question I, by no means, can answer perfectly. However, in the spirit of philosophy and amateur psychology, I will lay unto you, ye who have keen ears, my theories.
Now, I am in no way a psychiatrist. However, as I am a woman who does a great deal of fantasizing and further thinking of what I fantasize about, I thought I might assume the role of a sexologist as it is no protected title.
I’ve long wondered why we (women) fantasize about things that would appall us if manifested in reality. It makes little sense that an act so ruining in practice should make us feel fulfilled when the mere thought of it is humored.
In the vast complexities of psychology, no matter how much I drink of its depths, I can’t seem to get my fill enough to understand it. Trying to figure out female arousal is like pulling hair from a clogged gutter and trying to undo all the knots. It’s a web of contradictions.
However…
First theory – there are cultural reasons. If we accept the inbuilt instincts of old and the instincts we adopt through media while growing up – all in all, the great history of aggressive men dominating passive women – we are conditioned to accept that this is what romance looks like.
Second theory – there are the emotional reasons. The "Beauty and the Beast" motif – featuring classic co-dependency. Women submit to abuse because we have an inbuilt need to nurture others – so when we love men who require to abuse and own us in order to love us, we somehow forget to protect ourselves in favor of loving them, which in this case means allowing them to abuse and own us. It's warped.
Third theory – there are psychological reasons. In fantasies and writing or viewing, we get to reframe traumatic experiences in a positive light or rework traumatic experiences in a safe environment – a form of psychological self-defense, much like Stockholm Syndrome or a type of self-inflicted Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Fourth theory – research has also been conducted regarding physiological reasons. Here, we have another inbuilt self-defense mechanism – a seldom talked-about phenomenon – which shows that women tend to become physically aroused when they sense any possibility of sexual aggression in their environment – in order to lower their chance of injury if they are raped.
Through all this, I believe one can narrow fantasies of rough or non-consensual sex into something as paradoxical and polar as having a wish for control and a wish to relent oneself of it. And coming to this conclusion, I realized that such is the pursuit of many, even in endeavors not of the erotic kind.
Humans wish to have control just as much as humans disdain having control. This is why BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism) kinks and fetishes are found in some shape or form in nearly every romantic or sexual relationship in existence. You’ll have the dominant partner wishing to achieve control over a submissive partner wishing to relinquish control through such means of domination, humiliation, pain, and pleasure.
But it’s more complex than that, isn’t it?
Yes. Because, contradictory – a submissive partner may wish for control, and a dominant partner may wish to lose it. Human beings are an unyielding paradox where we flex across contrasting aims with no means to an end.
Yes, we wish for control, yet disdain having it. Perhaps we find the answer to this paradox in maintaining control by losing it?
Moreover… how does this relate to nonconsensual sex fantasies?
Here, we get a fifth theory containing the ego – a spin-off of a kind from the third theory. Here we find the wish for control, where, in the lustful fantasy realm, non-consensual sex bolsters a woman's feelings of seductiveness and desirability in the way it has the power to make a man lose his decency and self-control, driving him to commit crimes of passion despite ill consequences of losing his pride and honor as a man – also, ultimately, risking getting sent to prison.
Put simply, some women enjoy the idea of being irresistible enough to drive even a good man crazy. The thought of being attractive enough to make a man love-sick and the power and control that follows it is, in this case, a turn-on.
A sixth theory – another spin-off from the third theory – is that fantasies of rape allow women to reduce the distress associated with sex, as they are not, in this scenario, responsible for what occurs. Moreover, the logic here states that when one is forced into something, they’ll have a lesser need to feel guilt or shame about acting out their own sexual desires.
Put simply, some women wish to maintain their innocence despite having carnal desires only satiated by means of sinful acts.
This begs another question.
Is this a lingering feeling of guilt and shame around female sexuality?
Of course! Women are constantly met with disdain when open about their sluttiness.
So, are fantasies of nonconsensual sex a type of projection they do because of this?
In some cases, yes!
Transferring our own sexual desires unto another gives us permission to act them out without feeling guilty or dirty – because, inside this fantasy, it isn’t us committing the indecencies.
... Okay then...
Summing up theories five and six:
Control. To feel wanted, lusted for, obsessed over, and coveted by others. The power of driving someone to lovesick desire, a frenzied state, where they would do anything, even illegal, to have you. Additionally, despite such harsh cases of ego, wanting none of the responsibility for it, wanting to be free of sin, to maintain innocence and purity in light of such dark desires.
Or is there a seventh theory? One found in our idyllic construct of freedom – this aimless goal of ours to make ourselves appreciate breathing – done by balancing the electric powerline between having and losing control.
Is it this act of switching places, the attraction and pull, the stimuli and response, the attack and retaliation? In the chaos of contradictions and uncertainty, we find a thrill that occupies our otherwise hibernating minds – bored to the degree that we become machines in our daily programs.
Is it simply that we need a little extremity as a remedy for our dull lives?
Do we fall in love with illegal things simply because we are denied them? Simply because they’re illegal? Self-harm, drug use, gambling, murder, rape…
Are these things a part of us? And are we, without them, left feeling unfulfilled? Is The Purge perhaps onto something vitally important? A cure for boredom, this mediocrity that leaves us feeling so blue?
I think, if I were to find a comparison, it’s quite similar to the blind bounds of excitement others ascend to in the midst of playing violent video games. The rush of falling in and out of enemy territory, of danger and safety, from being a predator to becoming the prey, of victory and defeat, of chasing death only to be comforted by one’s remaining life – because in reality, you're safe and sound in front of a screen.
Also, in other cases - rollercoasters, horror movies, extreme sports, etc...
Yes, the wish to trip in and out of control isn’t limited to the realm of lust but is present in most aspects of life. We find it in extreme cases such as drugs, gambling, gaming, relationships, and in other subtle cases of professions and work.
If you don’t like it, that’s your business, and I wish you the best of luck in lust elsewhere.
On another note – and such another warning and disclaimer – I want you not to accept my tales of lust as love stories. Personally, I think hints of toxic displays such as jealousy, obsession, and possession in a partner are natural – but – a difference is made when such feelings become restricting to a degree you no longer feel free. I implore you to make such distinctions for yourself when regarding yourself – and, in extreme cases, when regarding others.
In said regard, I do not condone the events nor the actions of the characters in my stories – neither offender nor victim. Don’t allow yourself to fall prey to toxic partners! The signs are always there – keep a weathered eye out for them.
And no, I’m not blaming those who’ve allowed themselves to stay in toxic relationships. I, myself, am guilty of that. But I won’t excuse my poor judgment either. You know when something doesn’t feel right. We shouldn’t blur the lines of right and wrong in the name of love – or whatever else we may lend our self-control to – such as religion, culture, family, societal pressure, etc...
You are in control. Don’t forget it. And don’t allow anything else to become the case.
when “just the tip” becomes “i really need to use you” becomes “i’m sorry, it’s not my fault when you look like that” becomes “hold still for me, i’ll be gentle” becomes “shut up and take it, this is what you’re made for, slut”
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I know most people know what subdrop is, but for the few who don’t I’ll explain.
Subdrop is what happens to your body after you’ve drained your brain of all the hormones and chemicals that it released during a scene or session.
Meaning, after you‘ve come down from your high, you start to feel mentally and emotionally attacked from what just happened. You start to think all these bad things about yourself and how someone normal would not find what just occurred pleasurable in anyways.
That’s why aftercare is important. Showering your sub in compliments,food, cuddle sessions. Just stuff that will make them feel like you care and that you don’t judge them for enjoying what they like.
Another thing, I’m positive that most people don’t know is what topdrop is. It’s the same as subdrop but it affects doms/dommes.
I know some people will be like- “Doms/dommes don’t go through that, nothing like that bothers them.” That’s where you’re wrong.
Remember we’re all human so no one is exempt from feeling used or feeling disgusted with their actions even though they shouldn’t be.
Not many know this but being a dom/domme is exhausting. A good top plans physical punishments or sexual scenes down to the T so their is no room for accidents and after all that planning and executing said plan they sometimes feel bad for doing what they did or even feel used in a sense.
That’s why aftercare is important for both parties. Show them that you care and that you appreciate what they did. Reassure them that they didn’t hurt you in a bad way and that they only did what they did to help you grow. ASK👏 THEM👏 IF👏 THEY’RE👏 OKAY👏!! Especially right after a session.
That can be the difference between showing that you care or not.
AFTERCARE IS A NECESSITY FOR BOTH PARTICIPANTS!!👏💙✨
Before my first serious suspension session me and my rigger forgot to talk about ✨aftercare✨.
My subdrop consisted of a mild woozy feeling, mind blank, my legs, back and sides were stiff so I wanted to stay there on the floor until I felt stronger again.
Since we hadn't discussed aftercare and I honestly don't know how we forgot about it, they came up next to me on the floor to cuddle, which is a nice gesture and I'm sure that for a lot of people that would hit the nail on the head, but that's not the case for me. I really dislike cuddling, I feel like I can't breathe or I'll make my partner uncomfortable. Even if I didn't feel the need to move before, I'll want to when being cuddled, simply can't stay still. Also I get really hot while cuddling which means I get sweaty and nobody involved wants that.
During aftercare all I need is room to breathe, unwind and a surface where I can curl up on and if I need a blanket, I'm usually able to express it.
After I had gathered myself enough I got up and we were able to finally communicate each other's aftercare needs.
This a perfect example. Not everyone’s aftercare involves physical touch. Some people like to be left alone for a while, some people like to instantly do something that keeps them busy (like chores), some people just want to eat and cuddle in a spot by themselves and that’s all fine.
In a case where one partner’s aftercare isn’t physical touch/ being alone but the other partner needs to be touched/ pampered, it’s advisable that you have a third person that you both trust that can administer the proper aftercare for the physical touch partner so they don’t have to wait until the other is done with theirs and just on a whole if your aftercare involves doing something with someone.
If your aftercare methods aren’t compatible- that doesn’t mean that the relationship won’t work. Their are a lot of solutions and you have to be willing to communicate with your partner to find the right one. Ensure that the end result leaves both parties (or more) feeling secure.
Always communicate what you prefer and what works best to ease the fall of the subdrop and topdrop. It doesn’t matter how intense the session or scene is, aftercare still needs to be implemented.
You should also remember too that subdrop and topdrop can happen days after a session. Your body only makes so many happy chemicals at a time, so when you release all of them suddenly, it takes a while for those stores to fill back up.
Not only that, but drop can manifest in many different forms. It can feel like a hangover, or utter exhaustion, or you can wake up just feeling off. You may be in physical pain, which is also tiring. And then there’s the mental state, you could feel depressed, lonely, confused, abandoned, insecure, unloved, and the list goes on.
Know that it’s normal, it’s healthy, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Your body will restore the balance, but communication is key and aftercare is vital. For both sides.
FUCKING AMEN! I’m a very physically affectionate person and aftercare is a HUGE thing for me. If you consistently ignore someone’s needs for aftercare, they’re going to resent you eventually, so DON’T ignore or dismiss it! And don’t be afraid to ask, there is no “I should already know, I shouldn’t have to ask because that makes me look like I don’t know them when I do!” No, shut up. It makes you look like you give a damn about them and that you love them, which you do! So ask! Like, their respect for you will rise several notches at you asking them and considering their feelings.
And also the thing about it taking several days to recharge/heal, etc. whatever word you want to use, is true. And honestly some people may want more than one kind of aftercare, because they need time to process everything that just happened. For example, if it were me, I’d prefer lots of cuddles and kisses afterwards, and then for the next couple days, having enough to keep me busy without it being super exhausting, and also getting a little extra sleep lol. And the thing about giving aftercare to your dom/top? Preaching to the choir hon! It’s exhausting to be the one in charge all the time and you’re low key constantly worried if you’re doing a good job, or if you’re being too hard, takes a lot of trust and love, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t at least a little bit scared.
It’s really easy to turn the relationship become a one sided selfish thing, and trust me, I’ve been on both sides, and neither side is fun. When you care for your dom/top you’re not just loving on them but you’re also thanking them for the hard work they do and you’re thanking them for loving you, both in a feelings way and in the way of doing a scene with you. I love this post. I don’t see nearly enough posts about aftercare.
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Tonight before the bed, I am thinking about that one time Jinguji Jakurai, a 33 years old doctor with a kid, brought Ramuda Amemura, a 22 years old chaotic pink haired fashion designer, to a horror themed date and had to basically scoop him up and run away from the scene because his pink haired disaster was striking too much attention. Jakurai’s calm and mundane life is absolutely wrecked by the sheer presence of Ramuda being himself and having fun and it is enough to make Jakurai utterly fascinated. Meanwhile, it gives Ramuda a safe space to be himself and learn more about the human world. Jakurai is not even bothered by Ramuda’s reactions— only concerned that they are disturbing the other visitors by being loud, so he takes him away. In the most ridiculous way ever. But he never judges Ramuda, never shows displease against his questions— only surprise and fascination.
Ramuda in return, learns how it feels to what he later calls “living” rather than just being a puppet/clone in the hands of Chuuoku. Ramuda’s eagerness for living the joys of life seems to awaken the part of Jakurai that also wants to experience that— that simple joy of being childish, having fun, being himself, not being The One Everyone Admires but simply Jakurai, Ramuda’s best friend, partner, presumably lover. But because Jakurai is admired by everyone, he would be ridiculed and judged if he acted like this by his own.
I doubt he is even aware that he is allowed to act however he wants, until Ramuda holds his hand and drags him into adventures that help him to unravel the parts of himself he buried so deep, under the violence, under the savior complex, under every difficult thing Jakurai went through: His simple desire to enjoy life. The bond between Jakurai and Ramuda is really priceless. Thank you to everyone who contributed to their story.
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THIS! Especially between Japanese & English, I have to wait until I know what the verb is going to be in Japanese – and of course it comes at the VERY END – before I can translate the bulk of the sentence into English!
In fact when translating documents, either JA>EN or EN>JA, find the subject (or fill it in if it’s implied), then go to the end of the sentence and work your way backward. The only exception is adjectives, which come before the word they modify in both languages. Yes, prepositional phrases are backwards too!
This is SO interesting - and also incredibly motivating! See how complex Japanese is compared to English? See how Japanese sentences are completely different than their English counterparts? If you’re studying Japanese and English is your native tongue or even your second language, you’re studying a challenging language that’s probably the total opposite of everything you’ve known and learned. Despite that, you’re still studying it and learning how to produce new grammar, new vocabulary, and new sentence patterns that would have otherwise been completely unintuitive and unfamiliar had you not decided to study it.
If you’re feeling discouraged about your progress in Japanese, look at this chart and remember that it’s okay to not have things “click” right away. It’s okay to say “dang this is hard” (because it is!) but even more important to say “I don’t get it right now” rather than “I’ll never get this.” Give your brain a bit of slack and be patient with yourself. Your brain needs to form new neural pathways for Japanese that your mother tongue has had for years and years. When that “aha!” moment comes - and it will - take the time to appreciate how far you’ve come in your understanding! What you now get used to be something unknown to you.
You’re taking the time to acquire a new skill, and every new thing you learn brings you closer to your goals. Learning a new language is certainly infuriating sometimes, but all your hard work will pay off when you can understand and communicate with native speakers. After all, aren’t we learning a new language to be able to communicate?
Every little acorn of new information you learn will be something you can carry as you move forward, one step at a time. 😊💮
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