WASTING AWAY

Now that I’m wasting away, my only hope is that you’ll have to be here to watch it happen. I want you and you alone to have to witness my final moments.

i'm not sorry anymore. and now i realize, i never really was. i used to rip sorry’s out of me, like pieces of flesh from my chest, hoping you'd stay. there are holes all through me now; i'm cold. do you care? i'm cold, and it's your fault, can't you see? but... i guess it's my fault. i was the one to pull myself apart, bit by bit, all along... you made me do it to myself. i see clearly now. you're good. i'm not sorry anymore. do you care? i think, the worst part in all this is, i still do...

you ignore me and now i don't know if i crave your attention or i crave your abandonment because i'm such a broken person

everyone hates me. even the person i love.

someone find me a will to live lmao

why do you build me up just to let me down?

do you not understand how hard i try to fit in when all you do is shame me for my flaws? you cram my brain with all the wrongs i do instead of all the rights. i dread everyday knowing that i will have to see your words and hear your hatred.

i have stopped trying. my arms are too heavy to move. i have stopped trying.

you ignore me and now I don't know if I crave your attention or I crave your abandonment because I'm such a broken person

I can have good days but the bottom line is that I'm still worthless. I'm still useless. I'm still an awful person. I can smile and laugh but it doesn't change the fact that I believe that you could pick up a handful of dirt and every little spec of that dust has more purpose in this world than me.

some things just stay broken

give me the rain and keep the sun. i don’t want it any longer.

i can always come back here when things get bad