⭐️HALF⭐️

You can only think about the same character for so long before eventually everything starts to remind you of them no matter how tenuous the connections are

So I'm walking right I'm taking a nice stroll out for an evening I'm walking along the ridge of cliff that faces out over the beach and I feel the salty sea air blowing into my face I can smell it I can I can taste it I can see the way the wind blows the grass in such a way that you'd think was simple but it cannot be recreated by human hand and so I'm walking along this ridge the jagged rocks the course and the millions of shells dotting along the coast and I'm on this ridge and I look down at the ocean and it's just black there's no gloss of the sunlight on the water there's no role of the waves there's no flush of the tide I look down and it's dark It's a sickly pitch black incomparable really to anything else even somewhat similar It's a deep rooting darkness that doesn't come naturally I'm transfixed by the water which ones was I spend What could be minutes but could be weeks staring down at that abyss and when I look back up I see no cliffs I see no shore I don't know where I am I don't know how I got here when I got here how long I've been here but I am not on that beach anymore I am somewhere else entirely where I am I could not say I could not tell you I'm sure other people have been there but in the moment in this single solitary moment which seems to stretch on for eons it's me alone I'm desperately scouring what I think used to be that shoreline pleading begging for some semblance of the shells the waves the fine grains of sand the salty smell all which I had taken for granted but in this moment I find nothing I am met with no resolution I am where the beach once was I am where the waves one's crashed yet there is silence I'm screaming begging now begging for someone some semblance of a ray of hope as I've become trapped in this inky darkness that is oh so unfamiliar I scream and scream and scream and scream some more until my voice is raw until my cries are no more than a whimper than a croak than a desperate gasp at the salty sea air that no longer surrounds me I sit and stare at nothing in particular I begin to yearn for that feeling that is so despised sand in your clothes salt in your hair water up your nose burnt skin dead and rotting fish I think of these vices yet I long for the world where They had not been taken from me ripped from my grass without so much as a warning in that moment I sit in that inky blackness and I begin to ponder truly why am I sat here if there's no beach no grass blowing in the wind No shells to cut your feet And with my broken voice I scream out one more time but all that comes out Is that sickly pitch black I open my eyes It's been years I see the ocean I see the shells I see the sand the grass the wind the water I see it just out of my reach because I know if I were to take a step towards it that darkness would envelop me again I can't go back to that beach so I do naught But stand upon the ridge I take a step I feel one last time the salty air I feel the impact of the sand in my clothes the salt in my hair the shells cutting into my skin I know I am in this moment the rotting fish and as I feel that air for one final time I think I don't know what I prefer You or the darkness Would there have been darkness in your absence would there have been a beach these questions go unanswered and yet again all goes black What a fool I was to think such naive hope could save the wicked and then super Mario shows up and makes love to me all night And he tells me I have loved him enough for a ticket into heaven I begin to sob because I know I'm going to hell