sᴜɴ-ʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ.

☀  — CAMILLA DE’ MEDICI   penned by  sab ;  pinned post .

i'm  born  to run down rocky cliffs ;  give me  grace , bury my  sins !  shattered glass and black holes can't  hold me back  from where I need to go.

SHE HASN’T ACTUALLY SPOKEN  to ana’s sister since their little run-in at the beach, and that feels like  ages  ago ;  but with everything that has been going on, camilla thinks it’s necessary to  ...  well, if not  apologize  for her perhaps a little  prickly  behavior  ( her demonic nature resists the very thought )  then at least to  catch up .  so when she spots vasilkaera at the party, camilla grabs two glasses  ( of something  sparkly )  and makes her way over, handing one to the dragon with a smile.  “ to building bridges and all that  ---  that’s what these events are  for ,  right? ”

DOES  HE  MIND  ?  most  days  the  answer  would  be  no  ,  of  course not  .  in  this  particular moment  ,  julian is  slightly  more  hesitant  -  if  only  because it  feels  rather  embarrassing  to  act  this  way  in  front  of  camilla  .  a  sigh  falls  from  his  lips  and  he  finally shakes  his  head  after  she  already  ordered herself  a  drink  .  ❛  i  don’t  mind  . ❜  his  voice  is  far  more  quiet  than  usual  and  his  hazel  eyes  are  cautiously meeting  her  own  ,  studying her  features  for  a  moment .  ❛  are  you  enjoying yourself  ?  ❜  the  darklighter  murmurs ,  fingertips  dancing over  the  glass  in  front  of  him  .  it’s  tempting  to  say  something else  .  that  this  is  not  what  it  looks  like  .  that  he’s  fine  …  but  god  .  he’s  not  fine  .  not  right  now  .

(    OPEN    )   /   @dihstarters​  :

“  THIS  IS  WHY  YOU  DON’T  wear  six  in  heels  on  the  beach  .  ”  the  cambion  tells  herself  as  she  lies  in  the  sand  ,  having  fallen  over  from  wearing  the  shoes  (  though  ,  the  alcohol  could  have  contributed  to  this  outcome  )  . her  hand  covers  her  eyes  as  a  shadow  falls  on  her  ,  realizing  that  her  embarrassment  was  caught  by  someone  .  “  …  was  the  faerie  realm  always  this  spinny  ?  ”

*   ❬   𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍   ❭   @dihstarters​   .

TWENTY-THREE  MONTHS  .  that’s how  much  time  has  passed since  the  night  that  his  mother  sacrificed his  soul  .  twenty-three  months since  he  turned  into  a  monster  .  twenty-three months  since  he  barely  touched a  drink  .  julian made  a  lot  of  memories during  that  time  ,  good  and  bad  ones  alike  ,  but  tonight  it  feels  like  it’s  all  for  nothing  .  pain  weighs  him  down  like  an  anchor  and  the  darklighter  stares at  the  bourbon in  front  of  him  ,  almost  as  if  the  beverage  itself could  tell  him  what  to  do  .  deep  down  he  knows  the  answer anyway  -  but  his  knowledge isn’t  enough  to  stop  him  from  making this  mistake  .  it’s  not  powerful  enough to  compete  against the  desire  to  drown  his  sorrows  .  he  is  hesitant as  he  brings the  glass  to  his  lips  ,  only  to  toss  it  back  ,  hazel  eyes  setting on  the  bartender .  ❛  i’ll  have  another one  .  ❜  he  murmurs  before he  turns  his  head  to  the  person that  approaches  him  ,  his  gazes  staying averted  .  ❛  sorry  .  i  don’t  think  you’ll  want  my  company tonight  .  ❜  julian murmurs  .  ❛  it’s  supposed  to  be  a  party  .  ❜  and  shit  ,  he  won’t  be  the  life  of  it  .

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THE DEMON ATTENDS  the event out of reluctant propriety at best. she doesn’t particularly care for the queen  ( though knowing about her deeds to their family is at least making her feel a little less  hostile  about the situation )  and is merely here because there’s nothing better to do and she gets to see her friends  ---  most of whom she’s greeted by the time she sports julian at the bar. it worries her to see him like  this ;  but she understands his reaction. and though she wants nothing more than to gently take the glass from his hand and make him  stop  before he sinks somewhere none of them can reach him anymore, she doesn’t have the words to  justify  that  ---  or to  make it better  any  other  way. instead, camilla rests her hand on his shoulder briefly as she sits next to him, the gesture the only  comfort  she can offer, and replies:  “ i don’t care much for the  party ,  anyways. ”  when the bartender turns their attention towards her, she orders some odd mango drink  ---  something that’s more  fruit  than  alcohol .  ( it would barely affect  her  in any case, but. she’s here to make sure julian doesn’t  drink  himself to death, and some proverb about  examples  echoes in her head. )  the demon doesn’t hide her  worry  as she observes her friend, but doesn’t chastise, question, or criticize him either. all she adds, tone soft, is:  “ i’ll just sit with you a while, if you don’t mind. ”

EVENT 003 :  SUMMER SOLSTICE

CAMILLA  may not exactly care for the queen  ( or her birthday ) ,  but she’s the last person to spurn an opportunity for a  party .  she makes an appearance in a simple yet fashionable  white summer dress  and  rose heels  that are possibly not the best choice for an outdoor event, but certainly turn the  dress  into an  outfit .

THE  CAMBION  ALMOST  SCOFFS  when  she  says  the  universe  liked  her  well  enough  .  “  i  thought  the  universe  wanted  nothing  of  my  existence  .  ”  her  kind  were  hunted  and  killed  for  a  reason  .  was  she  still  here  because  the  universe  wanted  her  here  ?  couldn’t  god  just  smite  her  at  any  second  ?  cosimo’s  words  rang  in  her  head  —  daddy  dearest  tends  to  be  too  vain  to  destroy  us  .  it  was  a  cruel  joke  .  that  the  almighty  was  simply  to  bored  to  get  rid  of  her  …  for  now  .  camilla’s  touch  on  her  arm  snaps  her  out  of  those  deep  thoughts  ,  her  amber  eyes  falling  on  the  woman’s  face  as  she  listens  closely  .  the  way  she  focuses  ,  as  if  she  could  feel  everything  around  them  ,  is  memorizing  to  watch  .  violet  flutters  her  eyes  close  ,  holding  onto  the  demon’s  words  ,  allowing  them  to  flow  through  her  as  she  tries  to  …  clear  her  mind  ?  she  had  never  been  one  for  stillness  (  yoga  ?  meditation  ?  they  were  too  boring  for  her  to  stick  to  any  of  those  )  .  she  preferred  action  ,  jumping  into  the  thick  of  things  ,  feeling  adrenaline  pump  through  her  veins  ,  drowning  in  the  excitement  .  this  was  the  complete  opposite  of  the  thrill  the  cambion  normally  seeks  .  but  she  tries  …  a  deep  inhale  followed  by  a  deep  exhale  …  it  takes  her  several  moments  (  longer  than  she  cares  to  admit  )  to  ground  herself  and  take  in  their  surroundings  ,  but  a  unfamiliar  sense  tickles  the  back  of  her  mind  and  when  she  opens  her  eyes  ,  she  did  not  even  notice  that  her  body  had  turned  towards  a  direction  in  the  forest  .  “  that  way  .  ”  her  tone  is  filled  with  astonished  confidence  .  she  wouldn’t  be  able  to  explain  to  camilla  why  that  way  ,  but  it  felt  right  .

❝   𝔡. 

𝐀  𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑  𝐎𝐅  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐘  𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐄𝐒  were  pulled  apart  when  daeramarr  caught  his  unnatural  footing  on  a  pile  of  books  he  knew  only  by  cover.  a  paper  cut  on  flesh  he’d  never  need  to  worry  about.  the  human  formed  dragon  was  lucky  to  have  missed  the  ink  stained  pages  he  slipped  on  a  few  days  ago  ,  but  such  was  the  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐂  𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  he’d  come  to  live  by.  it  was  his  comfort.  the  treacherous  journey  across  misplaced  items  and  forgotten  keepsakes  all  came  to  an  end  when  his  hands  ,  cold  to  the  touch  ,  wrapped  around  pure  silver  ,  an  ironic  twist  in  such  a  place  with  all  things  considered  ,  and  the  red  crimson  liquid  inside  downed  his  throat  and  past  drying  lips.  and  so  it  began  ,  the  repetitious  nature  of  his  short  lived  time  here  in  the  seelie  realm.  he  was  a  creature  of  habit.  only  ,  not  everyone  seemed  to  share  in  that  knowledge.  

mid  pour  when  the  liquid  splashed  against  the  cups  edge  his  steely  blue  eyes  failed  to  watch  where  the  liquid  fell  next  in  favor  of  the  pretty  little  golden  haired  woman  at  the  door.  although  ,  those  words  might  not  be  the  best  way  to  describe  how  misplaced  the  pair  of  eyes  were  compared  to  her  softer  features.  it  was  as  if  the  original  painter  failed  to  finish  his  own  work  of  art  and  another  centuries  later  finished  off  the  job.  

“  you  forgot  the  knock  ,  knock  bit  ,  ”  daeramarr  quipped.  the  crease  etched  on  his  forehead    only  replaced  by  a  smile  that  failed  to  reach  his  eyes.  there  the  confusion  of  why  this  woman  stood  in  his  doorway  never  left.  “  is  that  so  ?  ”  the  blond  dressed  in  black  freed  his  hands  before  careful  steps  were  made  towards  the  door  and  towards  the  yellow-eyed  demon.  what  childhood  nightmares  she  could  become.  “  would  you  believe  this  is  the  first  time  i’ve  been  accused  of  such  a  thing  ?  tragic.  there  goes  a  pristine  reputation.  ”  his  lanky  figure  remained  by  the  doorway  ,  but  a  good  few  meters  away  from  the  intruding  guest.  “  so  ,  do  i  get  to  know  what  i  took  or  is  this  part  of  the  game  ?  ”

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HER JAW CLENCHED AT THE  AUDACITY  ---  to steal from a princess of hell was one thing ;  to  quip  about it quite another.  ( some rational part of her brain suggested perhaps the creature didn’t even know ;  couldn’t  have realized  ---  but she wasn’t feeling very  receptive  to rationality just then. )  instead, her already forced smile widened almost imperceptibly, even as her eyes narrowed. eventually, camilla found her voice again, though to anyone who knew her, the tone would have been  unrecognizable .  “ apologies . ”  there was a decided lack of concern in the word, but the cadence of it sounded more  off  than that, even ;  it lacked  humanity .  her fists clenched at her side, and with a  shriek ,  the glass he must’ve been drinking out of before  ( and a variety of other  fragile objects  in the room )  shattered.  

          “ knock ,  knock. ”

she took a few steps into the room, then,  slowly ,  as if stepping on uncertain feet. truth be told, not many details of it actually registered ;  her attention was focused entirely on the  thief .  ( it had taken all of her concentration to not snap his  neck  instead of his mere belongings ;  but then it might take her  far too long  to find what she was looking for. a  direction  she could get, but she’d never had the patience for the complex magic leading to  specifics . )  ordinarily, the  banter  would’ve calmed her ;  ordinarily, she might have  joked along  with such a personality. but her nerves were fried, her patience thin, and her  emotions  desperately looking for a focal point ;  and if that point was  anger ,  which  oh so easily  burned through everything else, then all the  better .

  was everyone here an a+ student in english? they spoke about what they were like it was a try out to be an understudy for shakespeare… what if one of them was really shakespeare and he just faked his death now he’s a vampire - or demon - maybe an angel of poetry. “you’re a demon?” she questioned, before laughter started coming out. really addie didn’t know why she laughed. perhaps because she thought how she should be feeling now is how she should have felt with the angel and vice versa – the ironic part too is the  angel never mentioned demons wanting to kill her? wouldn’t they actually like what she was? like a walking middle finger to god. “you guys don’t look that scary, i mean… no horns.” she nodded slowly, adela glanced at the hand. was sister adela going to shake the hand of a demon? “i’m addie– adela well addie is a nickname if you want to call me that.” she finally took the hand, a smile plopping onto the brunettes face. “it’s nice to meet you just  camilla.” 

THE LAUGHTER  was a surprising reaction coming from a  convent girl  at such a revelation, but camilla was relieved it didn’t seem to scare her  ---  which only endeared her a little more to the demon. the comments about horns prompted her own laughter ;  as she shook adela’s hand, camilla threw her had back, hardly able to contain herself. eventually her excitement subsided to light chuckles ;  she crossed her arms, then, and briefly considered how much to tell the girl  ( or let her  see  ---  though perhaps  that  was a shock best kept for later ) .  “ well, addie, it’s nice to meet you too, ”  the demon started. she hesitated a moment, but figured it might be best to at least  mention  it  ---  lest the girl get too comfortable with her kind without  knowing  them.  ( that might make for less  funny  surprises. )  “ i have the horns  tucked in ,  so to speak ;  wouldn’t want to scare the humans with my  true face . ”  a glint of amusement remained in her eyes and in her tone, and her cheeky smile was unmistakably joking, but kind as she said:  “ if you like  me ,  you’re a good judge of character. ”  as she tilted her head, though, there was a hint of  concern  in her pointed look.   “ just make sure you don’t get  too  distracted by pretty faces, alright? the  horns  are still there. ”  metaphorically speaking ,  at least.

👌 :  WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSES QUIRKS?

camilla is a very  ACTIVE  person and her mannerisms reflect that. she walks a little  faster  than the average person and often has a  skip  in her step. she  gestures  ( stereotypically much )  when talking and has a tendency to play with her hair ;  she keeps it open, usually and constantly brushes strands out of her face, wraps them idly around her fingers, or twists them into braids and buns  ---  that fall down again immediately.  ( she’s sure she owns a hairband  somewhere in the abyss that is her dressing room. )

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👁‍🗨 :  WHAT IS A SECRET THAT YOUR MUSE HASN’T TOLD OR IS HIDING?

questions like  these  prompt only hesitation and pursued lips ;  and an unusual  coldness  to emerge in her gaze.  “ if the seelie realm has taught me  ONE  thing, it’s that secrets are a  valuable currency  here. i’m not going to  waste  any of mine. ”

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💥 :  IS YOUR MUSE RECKLESS ?  OR TOO CAUTIOUS AND PARANOID?

caution ?  what is  that ?  camilla is incredibly  RECKLESS ,  as long as it comes only to herself and no one else is involved. she doesn’t much care for her own safety ;  it’s nigh  impossible  to seriously injure a princess of hell, so she doesn’t bother much with  worrying .  when  people she loves  are involved, though, she can become a little  overprotective  ---  the things she considers manageable for herself are often  unacceptable  when it comes to what she would let her family deal with.

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🎭 :  DOES YOUR MUSE TRY REALLY HARD TO COMPENSATE FOR SOMETHING?

🎭 :  DOES YOUR MUSE TRY REALLY HARD TO COMPENSATE FOR SOMETHING? 

besides  GUILT ?  yes .  there are certain  other feelings  she is trying to simply channel into something  less extreme ;  though she refuses to comment on the topic any further. at least not until she manages  convincingly .  that’s no one’s business but her  own .

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👻 :  RECALL ONE OR MORE TIMES YOUR MUSE HAS BEEN THE MOST SCARED OR FEARFUL!

“ ---  CONFESSIONS  of any kind. ”  simply by experience, she knows it never goes well when something  needs  to be said that doesn’t  want  to be said. she remembers her  not-wedding ;  remembers the talk that came  after . remembers the  fear  of loosing someone simultaneous to the  resignation  that there was no other way.  confessing  something scares her, irrational as it might be, because she always remembers this  specific  feeling that hollows her out  just a little  inside, still.

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🙌 :  MANNERISMS THAT YOUR MUSE HAS WHEN THEY’RE EXTREMELY HAPPY?

she practically  RADIATES JOY ,  and will get  extremely  touchy. camilla is a generally touch-starved person and loves any kind of contact, and when she’s happy, it’s generally hard to  contain  that. she will turn to hold hands ;  hug ;  link arms and touch shoulders  ---  and probably talk a mile a minute, too.

👀 :  IS YOUR MUSE PRONE TO JEALOUSY ?

NOT  particularly when it comes to  people ,  no. she knows what she means to the people important to her, and  ( for the most part )  that is enough  ---  she doesn’t generally act out on the fear of  loosing  someone. camilla does, however, have a rather mean streak for  ENVY ;  most prominently concerning  humanity ,  of course  ( the way they are allowed to  be  and  create  and  live  in ways she can only marginally experience ) ,  but occasionally emerging for  other things  she wants as well. then again  ---  “ such is the nature of  demons ,  dear. ”

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⚪ :  WHAT ARE SMALL THINGS THAT MEAN SOMETHING TO YOUR MUSE ?

any  REMINDER  of her loved ones ;  this goes from deliberately collected trinkets like letters, pictures, or locks of hair  ( those  were  rather popular once upon a time, back when phone cameras were not yet a thing, she’d like to remind you )  to random little tidbits like buttons, old coats, or hastily written grocery lists. besides those, it’s  FEELINGS  ---  grass under bare feet, the buzz of people around her, the sounds of her native language  ( more or less )  that gives her a feeling of  home .

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💢 :  MANNERISMS THAT YOUR MUSE HAS WHEN THEY’RE ANGRY OR SAD ?

SADNESS  prompts mostly a well-practiced  apathy ;  camilla tends to dissociate to distance herself from the situation prompting such  negative emotions .  she blends it out, plays over it, and attempts to reconsider things from the  rationale  of experience. consequently, her mannerisms are  pointedly normal .  ANGER  on the other hand  ---  real  anger,  demonic  anger  ---  makes her very  expressive .  fury shows in her eyes ;  her nature bleeding through the human façade. she balls her fists, and there is tension visible in every line of her body, waiting to  snap . her hands may shake a little when they extend towards you, but don’t mistake that as a sign of  weakness ;  once they  reach  you, you’re  done for .

🔴 :  WHAT ARE BIGGER GESTURES THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO YOUR MUSE ?

camilla is a fan of  ACTIVITIES ,  and she likes to feel  included .  this doesn’t just mean things being done for her  ( planning outings, events, or parties, for example )  but also gestures on a slightly smaller scale  ---  dropping by unannounced, asking her to accompany someone someplace, wanting her help for something. those things give her  purpose .

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🎭 :  DOES YOUR MUSE TRY REALLY HARD TO COMPENSATE FOR SOMETHING?

sort of .  though her energetic and  happy  demeanor is genuine, for the most part, she  does  at times exaggerate it, to make up for  ---  well,  not  feeling like this all the time when she thinks she  should .  camilla’s most closely guarded secret is accompanied by  guilt ,  and she fears that, should the emotion be  recognized ,  certain other things might come to light as well. these feelings are easy enough to  compensate  for in a world with enough distractions ;  as things stand, though, she is trying her hardest to find new ways of  coping .

👻 :  RECALL ONE OR MORE TIMES YOUR MUSE HAS BEEN THE MOST SCARED OR FEARFUL !

there are the obvious contenders, naturally  ---  the time she  FELL  ( or  jumped ,  rather ) ;  that moment of  terror  when cosimo was gone and aurora was destroyed ;  the moment she realized  ana would not be coming back .  ( the last time she was  ever  pressured into fulfilling one of  HEAVEN’S  orders. )  none of these lend themselves to easy telling, though ;  and none of these she particularly wants to bring to mind, even now. instead, she seizes on something else in her memory ;  that first piercing  fear of  ordinary mortality .  “ when teresa died, i was  irrationally  afraid  ---  i’m still not quite sure  why . ”  she’d seen countless humans die ;  enough immortals, too. and yet, that moment she realized she was  always  bound to loose people, for no other reason than  it was their way ,  and there was nothing to do about it  ---  it  scared  her more than she’d ever admit.  “ i suppose it’s that fear of  never seeing someone again . ”

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🔷️ :  IS YOUR MUSE GOOD OR BAD AT LYING ?

ironically, camilla is a rather  BAD  liar ;  she never had much  reason  to, anyways. she has a tendency to say and do whatever she wants, unapologetically  ---  and generally doesn’t see the need to  hide  anything.  ( and for her  demonic  work,  well ;  persuasion, blackmail, or extortion are much more direct than  lying . )  if  anything ,  she will  omit  certain truths she does not want known.

CAMILLA IS NOT MUCH OF A NOSTALGIC PERSON ,  usually  ---  she likes the possibilities of the  here and now  too much to dwell on the past overly much ;  but for perhaps the first time in her life, the  ‘ here and now ’  is  static ,  blocked.  ( there is no place else to  run  from her emotions but the  past ) . after whiling away the last few days lying on a variety of cosi’s carpets, her only enjoyment derived from watching her nieces and nephew play happily and without a care in the world  ---  thus compelling her to  appear  the same way so as not to upset them  ---  she’s decided a change of scenery is necessary. after all, the cottage by the lake is there just for  that reason ;  and it’s where she keeps all her little baubles, trinkets and  distractions ,  anyways.  ( in retrospection ;  her little protected hide-out is not the  best  place for valuables, though. )  the demon almost doesn’t  notice  the ring is missing ;  she usually wears it, just hadn’t  that day  in the woods, and hasn’t bothered  properly dressing  since .  a beat of calm silence, then the  nerves  hit and she begins searching frantically through her jewelry box ;  drawers and cupboards ;  on the floor and under furniture.  “ oh no, no,  no . ”

THE  CALM  LOOK  ON  HER  FACE  is  nothing  like  her  and  it  scares  him  more  than  the  fact  that  she  wanted to  put  herself in  danger  .  julian  understands why  she  needs  to  distance  herself  in  this  moment  ,  he  has  done  the  same  thing  in  the  past  ,  but  it’s  not  what  he  wants  .  he  wants  camilla to  be  able  to  feel  around  him  ,  even  when  it  hurts  them  both  .  ❛  isn’t  it  ,  though ?  ❜  his  choices  are  the  reason why  they  are  in  this  situation  right  now  and  the  darklighter can’t  shake  the  feeling  that  he  let  her  down  .  camilla had  his  full  attention  whenever the  two  of  them  spent  time  together ,  but  what  if  he  noticed  sooner ?  his  mind  is  racing  ,  threatening to  spin  out  of  control ,  and  the  male  gulps  hard  when  she  places her  hand  on  his  shoulder .  ❛  i  don’t  want  to  lose  you  .  ❜  he  admits  and  while  he  hates  the  desperation  in  his  own  voice  ,  the  words  are  nothing but  the  truth  .  his  hand  moves  to  camilla’s and  he  gives  it  a  gentle  squeeze .  ❛  and  i  don’t  want  things to  change  .  ❜  not  for  worse  ,  anyway  .  their  bond  is  strong and  he  hopes  it’s  strong  enough  for  them  to  get  through  this  ,  because he  needs  her  .  julian  hesitates for  a  long  moment  before his  hands  move  to  her  waist  ,  his  touch  light  .  cautious  .  ❛  i  cannot tell  you  how  much  you  mean  to  me  .  how  much  i  appreciate everything  you  have  done  for  me  .  for  my  sister  .  i  know  an  eternity  is  a  long  time  ,  but  …  you  are  going  to  be  one  of  the  most  important people  in  my  life  .  forever  .  i  need  you  to  know  that  .  it’s  not  …  a  lack  of  love  .  ❜  it’s  the  wrong  timing  .  he  made  a  promise  to  gabriella  that  he  intends on  keeping  -  but  he  intends  on  keeping  this  promise  too  .  he  will  always love  camilla  .  he  will  always  stay  close  .  he  will  try  to  be  the  best  friend that  she  could  ask  for  ,  until  the  end  of  time  …  as  long  as  she  lets  him  .