Whole Food NOSH

Everyone seems to have "the-bestest-most-perfect-gotta-make-it-this-way-because-there's-no-other-way" guacamole recipe… 

That's not me. 

What I do have is a tasty quick and easy version that you can whip up in 45 seconds or so. 

As I've mentioned before, I'm a little lazy, so I like to clean as few dishes as possible. And so began making little personal guacamole boats. 

Here's what you will need:

1 avocado sliced in half length-wise

1 tsp diced onion

1 Tbl finely chopped cilantro

lime wedge

salt to taste

squirt of sriracha or pinch of cayenne 

*Really- you don't need any of this. You can put whatever the heck you want into your guac. This just happens to be what I put in there this time. It varies each time I make it. 

Here's what you do:

mash up half of your avocado in the shell

add in half of your other ingredients; squeeze juice from lime wedge

fold together

repeat with other half

eat with chips/veggies/whatever

Let me tell you something. I've never really been a big pizza fan. The only time I've really wanted it was when I was in, guess where…. Naples, Itay.

Now, that said, since going gluten/dairy/egg free nearly 6 months ago, I've developed the occasional bizarre craving for the food I never had much interest in to begin with. 

In any case, not wanting to get into the complicated business of making a good tasting gluten free pizza crust, I decided to see what I could make as an alternative. 

Behold! A polenta crust. If you've ever used polenta for anything, you know it can be a bit difficult to get crispy/brown. This brings us to the most difficult part of this very easy recipe.

The "difficult" part isn't actually difficult- it just takes a little bit of pre-planning and patience. 

Let's get to it.

What you will need:

For the crust:

2 cup dry polenta

4 cups broth or just water

1 Tbl ghee, butter, olive oil or oil of your choice

1-2 tsp salt (or just to taste)

1 tsp dried basil

1/2 tsp dried thyme

1/4 tsp garlic powder

pinch of cayenne pepper

For the topping: (really, whatever you want, but here's what I used)

1/3 jar Trader Joe's tomato sauce

chopped spinach

turkey pepperoni

chopped green onions

What you will do:

Bring the broth or water to a boil, add polenta and everything else. Cook on medium until all liquid is gone and the mixture is very thick and even drying out a bit. Be careful, it will bubble and pop. 

Cover a large sheet pan (I think mine is 13x18) with parchment paper, then spread polenta out thinly. (I wrapped a piece of parchment paper over a wooden spoon so it wouldn't stick as I spread it out.)

Here's the "difficult part"- let it sit out for 2-3 hours if you can. The more it dries out, the better chance you have of getting  crispy crust. If you don't have that kind of time, you can absolutely just move on to the rest of the steps. 

Pre-heat the oven to 450 degrees F. 

Brush your crust lightly with olive oil, then place in the oven for 15-20 minutes. 

Take your crust out, spread whatever toppings you wish, then place back in the oven for another 10ish minutes, or until your toppings are cooked to your liking. 

This crust usually turns out pretty "holdable" unless you cut gigantic pieces.

Obviously, I left out the cheese, but if cheese is your thing, load it up. 

  Not the prettiest most photogenic looking thing I've ever made, but I assure you it's quite tasty.

The recipe is so easy I hesitate to post it as a recipe, but here it is anyway...

What You Will Need:

1 can black beans

1/2-1 tsp salt (start with 1/2 and add more if you like)

1/4 tsp cayenne

1 small clove garlic

a squirt or two of Sriracha 

1/2 diced avocado

What You Will Do:

Drain the black beans. Put everything except for the avocado in a food processor or blender. Pulse until everything is combined. The longer you pulse, the smoother it will become. 

Fold in the diced avocado. You could also put it into the processor if you wanted, but I liked having the chunks. 

  So, awhile ago, if you recall, I made this naan recipe, which I also altered to create these crepes. 

Being the inherently lazy girl I am, I wanted to find a quicker way to cook the entire batch of batter without having to stand at the stove making one at a time.

Behold, oven-baked naan/crepe recipe that can fill in, as I found, for many things.

What You Will Need:

1/2 cup almond flour

1/2 cup tapioca flour

1 cup full fat coconut milk

whatever seasonings you want (for the one I just made, I used a few shakes of pink salt, a shake of garlic powder, and a pinch of cayenne)

What You Will Do:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. 

Mix all of your ingredients together. 

On a baking sheet, spread the batter as thick or thin as you want it to be. I made mine pretty thin. I also lined my baking sheet with parchment paper and sprayed it with a bit of non-stick spray because I was worried it would stick. (There's a good chance you don't need to do all of that.) 

Place the sheet in the oven for 10 minutes, then rotate the pan and let it bake for 10 more minutes. 

At this point, it will still be a bit soft. Read: good for rolling to use as Naan or a crepe or a tortilla. 

I decided to flip it over bake it for 8ish minutes more. This resulted in crispy cracker-like edges. The softer parts were less chewy than when I made them on the stovetop and had a slight crisp. 

Tonight I may turn this into a "pizza" with marinara, veggies and our surprisingly tasty fake cheese if I can refrain from eating the pan before Nate gets home. 

Other options: Like I said earlier, this recipe is super versatile. Instead of the savory seasonings I used, try adding a bit of honey, vanilla and cinnamon for a sweeter dessert option.  

Since I've been gluten/egg/dairy free, I've been missing out on a few of my favorite desserty type things- one of the top items is caramel. I LOVE caramel, dare I say, more than chocolate. Yes, more than chocolate. 

So, you can imagine how elated I was to find this recipe.

It is SUPER easy. You only need 3 ingredients for the basic recipe. Me being me, I almost always tweak recipes, so I added a teaspoon of vanilla extract and a few dashes of himalayan pink salt. If you don't have fancy salt, you can always use regular salt if you want that added dimension in flavor. 

What You Will Need:

1 cup sugar (I used sugar in the raw- this worked fine, it just may take longer to melt than finer sugar)

3/4 cup full fat coconut milk

1/4 cup coconut oil (I used the virgin stuff for the extra flavor)

1 tsp vanilla extract

a few dashes of fine salt

What You Will Do:

In a large non-stick pan, melt the sugar over medium heat. Pay attention or you'll burn it. I stirred mine around quite a bit because I'm impatient and can't leave things just sit. I was always worried it would burn if I didn't do that.

Once the sugar has melted and is a golden color (not burnt color), turn the heat down to low add in the coconut milk. KEEP STIRRING.  ALL of my sugar clumped into one gigantic mass and bubbled when I did this. As she said in the original recipe, that's fine and it will slowly melt down as the caramel cooks. What she didn't mention is that it (at least for me) can take a lot longer than you're expecting it to. Again, keep stirring.

Anyway, once it's all assimilated, add in the coconut oil. At first, this will appear to be entirely separate to the point it's not going to combine, but keep stirring and it will eventually look creamy and delicious. 

Attempt to avoid the temptation to taste. It is beyond scalding hot. I know because I tasted it. Don't be like me. Wait for a bit until it's cool enough to not burn your face off.

If you remember the first time I posted a roasted chicken recipe, you'll recall that I was forgetfully over zealous and hacked into my chicken before taking a picture. 

For those of you who may be curious to see the poultry intact, I remembered to take a picture this time. 

Of course, this one is not as picture perfect as the first one was; the skin on the top split, but I assure you, it was tender and delicious anyway.

Ice storm? No work for the boyfriend? 

What does this mean? 

Sleeping in and having a lovely little brunch, of course. I love brunch. It may be my favorite meal— largely because it doesn't require waking early. (We're not "real" adults because we will happily sleep in past single digit numbers if left to our own devices. I may never be one of those people who says, "I just can't sleep past 7am" Psh.)

Anyway, as much as I adore things made entirely from scratch, I'm also pretty lazy at heart. 

This tasty little scramble takes only minutes to prepare if you have a few things on hand.

What you will need:

1/3 of a 28 oz bag of frozen shredded potatoes

2 organic chorizo sausages

1/2 small onion, thinly sliced

4 or more large handfuls of spinach

oil to coat a medium-large skillet (I used a cast iron)

salt and pepper to taste

Sautè the onion until soft in the oil of your choosing.

Here's the kinda gross part. Take the sausages and make a thin slice through the casing, then squish/crumble them out into the pan with the onions.

Cook them until mostly done, then add in the potatoes.

Toss the mixture around to get the potatoes to the bottom of the pan, then let them sit for awhile to brown. 

You can stir this around as much as you'd like. My potatoes weren't as brown because most of the brown stuck to my pan due to the gigantic learning curve of figuring out how much oil to use in my cast iron pan for different things. 

Once your potatoes are nearly done to your liking, stir in the spinach leaves a handful at a time. They will shrink down A TON. You could also use kale or arugala for an extra spicy kick.

If you don't happen to have a bag of frozen shredded potatoes, obviously, feel free to shred up some fresh raw ones. Another option would be sweet potatoes. 

Why did I say "could be"? Because I added gluten-free panko crumbs on top for crunch, but you could, obviously, eliminate those. 

So, how can sheperd's pie, traditionally made with rather carb-laden mashed potatoes, be lowish-carb? 

Easy! Remember my Faux Potatoes? I simply used the mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes. 

And guess what? So far, no one's been able to tell the difference- including my incredibly picky-eater father. 

What you will need:

approx. 1 lb ground meat (I used a venison/beef mix my friend gave me, but you can use straight beef, turkey, lamb, pork- whatever tickles your tastebuds)

6 basil leaves, minced

5 sage leaves, minced

3 or 4 sprigs of thyme, minced

1 tsp salt

1 splash red wine

1/2 cup sweet corn

1/2 cup petite green peas

1/2 cup finely chopped carrot

2-3 cups faux potato

Optional: 3/4 cup gluten-free panko crumbs

Note: If you don't have fresh herbs, use dried. If you don't have any of that, just use some good old salt and pepper. 

What you will do:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Sauté ground meat with the splash of wine and salt until mostly browned, then add in the herbs. Drain meat if needed, put back in pan, then add in all vegetables and toss until everything is well mixed together. 

Pour meat and veggie mixture into a baking pan. (I used a 13x9 which gives a thinner pie. You can really use whatever size you want pending how thick or thin you'd like it to be. Next time, I'll probably make it thicker.)

Spread mixture evenly, then dump the faux potatoes on top and gently spread on top. 

If you want to add panko crumbs, I browned mine in a skillet with a little ghee, then spread them on top. If you're staying away from excess carbs, skip this step.

Place pan in the oven for 20-30 minutes to allow the top to brown. 

Take out, let cool a bit, and enjoy!

First, let me start off by saying, yes, I full realize that these are not exactly entirely "healthy". But! They are delectable little morsels and they do happen to be Paleo friendly.

The prosciutto chips are the easiest things to make.

What you will need:

1 3 or 4oz package of prosciutto

maybe a little pepper if you want that

What you will do:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Simply line a baking sheet with parchment paper, lay out your prosciutto slices so they're flat and not wrinkled or overlapping. Sprinkle pepper if that's your thing. Then slide them in for 10ish minutes until they start to wrinkle. They will get crispier as they cool, so it's ok if they're not totally crisp when you take them out. 

We just ate these as they were, but they'd be great crumbled on salads, soups, eggs… just about anything really!

The stuffed dried plums are actually referred to as "Devils on Horseback."

I got the recipe for them here. 

I did make the macadamia nut "ricotta" filling, but nearly quartered the recipe. If you use 2 cups of macadamia nuts, you might be left wondering what to do with the rest of it (well, eat it, duh!). 

Ever hear something you just couldn't bring yourself to believe at first? 

That's how I was when I heard that cauliflower made a great substitution for mashed potatoes- particularly since I, in general, really dislike cauliflower, but love potatoes in all forms. 

But! Behold, a big bowlful of the stuff. And you know what? It's DELICIOUS. 

It's also fantastic because for you paleo/low-carbers/elimination diet people, this is pretty gut and figure friendly.

Without further ado,

Here's what you will need:

1 head of cauliflower

1 tsp minced garlic

1 Tbl ghee (You could also use another oil or butter.)

1 tsp garlic salt (If you want an extra garlic oomph. Just use regular salt to taste if you're not looking to repel vampires.)

pepper to taste

Optional: 1/4 cup cashew cheese (The attached recipe I halved and was grateful I did. Half of a batch was PLENTY for 2 people for a few days.)

What you will do:

Wash, trim, cut up and steam the cauliflower until tender (approx. 10 minutes). I forgot about mine while I was doing laundry, but thankfully, it would appear you can't really overcook it. Anyway...

Place it in a food processor with all the other ingredients and blend until smooth. Taste occasionally and add more seasonings if desired.

I have a smaller food processor, so I did mine in two batches then just mixed the batches together in a bowl in case I seasoned one more than the other. 

Okay, okay, I know- my pictures still need work, but there's a story with this one. What's the reason for not showing the entire golden crispy skinned, perfectly roasted chicken in it's rustic looking cast-iron  pan?

I forgot. I was in a hurry to feed Nate before he had to leave, and I hacked into my chicken without a second thought until I realized I needed a photo.

Sooooo…. there's a slice of the delectable roasted chicken served with its companions of maple mashed yams and tangy balsamic rainbow chard, carrots and apples.

I'm not usually one to so overtly brag about food I've made, but this was the first whole chicken I've made in the oven in over 4 years. I was concerned it would come out near dusty instead of juicy and tender. 

Would you like to try making this? It's SUPER easy and, surprisingly, doesn't have to be reserved for special occasions. It makes for a lovely mid-week dinner with (depending on how many mouths you're feeding), leftovers for lunch.

Here's what you will need:

1 5ish lb whole organic chicken

1/4 cup olive oil

a splash of white wine

1 Tbl balsamic vinegar reduction (you could just use regular balsamic too- I wanted a denser flavor)

7 sprigs of fresh thyme

12 basil leaves

5 sage leaves

1.5 Tbl fresh rosemary

1 Tbl coarse salt

several dashes of black pepper

1 large sweet onion

1 apple

Here's what you do:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees. 

Finely chop all of your herbs. Add them into the olive oil, then add the balsamic, white wine, salt and pepper. Mix it all well and try to even crush the leaves further. You could also just pop everything into the food processor if you wanted, but I like having chunks of herbs.

Rinse the chicken, remove giblets if there's some in there. (I made Nate do that. I'm a bad foodie and inner organs kinda gross me out.) Then pat it dry, inside and out, very well. 

Slice half of the onion and spread it in the bottom of your pan. I used a cast iron, but I'm sure you could use whatever dish you have available. Cut the other half of the onion into large chunks then cut the apple into chunks as well. 

Separate the skin from the chicken being careful not to tear it. There just needs to be enough room so you can slip your hand in with the herbs. Spread half inside the skin on the top of the chicken. Then rub some on the outside of the skin all over the entire chicken. Whatever's left, pour into the inside. 

Stuff the inside with as many onions and apples will fit in there. 

Pop the chicken (I keep almost saying turkey) into the oven at 450 degrees for 15 minutes, then drop the temperature to 350 and cook for 20 minutes per pound. 

Check the temperature when there's around 15-20 minutes left just to ensure it's not finished before you think it is. The internal temperature should be about 160 degrees. If it's a few degrees less, that's ok, it will continue to cook for a bit after you take it out of the oven. 

Leave the chicken rest for 15-20 minutes after taking it out of the oven. It allows the juices to settle back in instead of just running out as soon as you cut it. 

This easily lends itself to whatever sides you wish to serve. Or, if you're like me when I was single, I would've just eaten a lot of chicken for dinner.

My mashed yams required only oven roasted yams, peeled, then mashed with a little maple syrup, cinnamon, fresh grated nutmeg and a touch of salt.

I like to snack. A lot. But being a chronic snacker means I need to find things that are also in line with my desire to not feel like crap afterward. 

I've always loved chickpeas. I like them right out of a can, I like dried ones that you have to soak forever, I like them as hummus, in salads, pureed into soups (when I can remember how to make that one, it will appear here), and most recently, as crunchy little niblets. 

My first experience with them was a prepackaged product I found at the grocery store when I was ravenously hungry. Very basic ingredients, no weird unpronounceable elements involved- guilt-free snacking!

After a few Google searches, I found many recipes where people actually made their own. 

Wanna know another thing I love? Turning the oven on to 400 degrees in the middle of the winter in my cold house. (::hint hint:: guess what you'll be doing if you make these)

What you will need:

1 can of chickpeas 

1-1.5 Tbl olive oil (or coconut or whatever suits your fancy)

seasonings of your choice (I used 1/2 tsp garlic salt, 1/4 tsp rosemary, 1/4 tsp parsley flakes, a dash or two of cayenne pepper)

What you will do:

Preheat the oven to, do you remember? 400 degrees.

Next, drain, rinse and drain your chickpeas. Spread the chickpeas on a baking sheet covered with paper towels. Dry those chickpeas well. 

Now, get rid of the paper towels and load the chickpeas onto a piece of foil then place that foil on your baking sheet. 

Drizzle olive oil on and coat all chickpeas then place them in the oven.

I baked mine for a total of 40 minutes taking them out every 15 or so to stir them around. 

After baking, season with whatever you like. The rosemary/garlic salt/parsley/cayenne combo was quite tasty. Next time I may try using coconut oil then dusting with a bit of cinnamon and coconut sugar. 

Note: Some of the chickpeas pop/explode a bit. Use caution when you take them out of the oven. I had one chickpea explode on (thankfully) my sleeve the first time I took them out. I used the foil and created a slight dome around them. If you do this, don't make too small of a dome because you don't want them to steam instead of roast.

Ok, so maybe not the prettiest picture, but give me a break; I'm just starting out (and only using my iPhone). 

Lackluster picture aside, this dinner was quite tasty, if I do say so myself. 

Here's what you will need for the burgers:

1lb organic ground beef

1/4 cup Shiraz (or any other red wine)

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp basil

1/2 tsp thyme

1.5 tsp salt

1/4 tsp cayenne

1 cooked sausage link, diced (I used a Sweet Italian)

Here's what you do:

Combine all of your ingredients, then form palm sized patties. You could do these on the grill, but it was like zero degrees outside, so I stayed in my warm toasty house and cooked them on my cast iron pan. 

Here is my disclaimer. I am no burger cooking guru. I'm still working on the ins and outs of the perfect burger, so I can't offer specific heat ranges or times. I cooked my burgers on a gas stove on medium for around 3-5 mins on each side. They turned out quite edible. My boyfriend eagerly consumed 2.

While the burgers were cooking, I sautéed 1/2 of a medium sweet onion and a few gigantic oyster mushrooms in a tablespoon (or so) of oil. You can, of course, use whatever mushrooms you please, or don't- if you happen to think mushrooms are gross.

If you want to make jicama fries with this (which you should because they're DELICIOUS), you should start that process before making the burgers. 

What you will need for the jicama fries:

1 medium-large jicama 

2 Tbl olive oil

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

1tsp garlic salt

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

a few shakes of black pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Peel and then cut the jicama into thin strips (like french fries). I used a mandoline, but if you don't have one, slicing works just as well.  

Toss jicama strips with olive oil and the rest of the ingredients, then spread on a large cookie sheet that's been covered with foil. 

Bake for 10ish minutes, then flip them over and bake them for another 10. If they aren't quite crispy enough, leave them in until their edges start to become brown. 

Last Friday night I was craving fried chicken, but since I've been gluten/dairy/egg free I wasn't sure how I was going to manage to make something suitable. 

Enter: my gluten-free chicken tenders.

Now, yes, I realize that's not quite the same as a big ol' fried chicken leg, but I didn't have any on hand, and I wanted dinner to be quick.  

Here's what you will need for the chicken tenders:

1/2 cup peanut oil (or other high heat oil)

around 1lb chicken tenders (or chicken breast sliced thin)

1/2 cup pear sauce (or applesauce, I just happened to have pear)

2 Tbl finely ground flaxseed

3/4 cup gluten free panko 

1tsp garlic salt

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

1/2 tsp parsley flakes

Here's what you do:

Mix the pear sauce and ground flaxseed in a wide shallow dish, then wait a few minutes for the flax to start absorbing the liquid. (It will look kind of gross. I apologize for that, but it all be worthwhile as it provides a delicious subtle sweetness behind the salty crunchy panko.)

While the flax is doing it's thing, mix the panko and spices in another dish large enough to be able to easily coat the chicken tenders.

Make sure your chicken has been rinsed and dried really well; then put a chicken tender in the pear/flax mixture and coat it. It won't necessarily adhere in large clumps, but a thin coating is good enough. 

Next, bread the chicken with the panko mixture. Don't be afraid to really push the panko into the chicken to try to get as much of it to stick as possible. 

Do this with all of your chicken and place it all on a plate so it's ready to fry.

In a deep frying pan, add the peanut oil and heat until it sizzles if you happened to throw a piece of panko in. You want to make sure the oil is hot enough to begin frying immediately because if it's not, it will just absorb into the panko making it squishy instead of crunchy. Ew. 

Once the oil is hot enough, place a few tenders into the oil. Careful not to put too many in at once because it will drop the temperature of the oil too much and, again, you could end up with squishy. 

Cook them around 3 minutes on each side. They should have a deep golden hue. Use your best judgement as the thickness of your chicken may differ from what I used. 

Also, be careful as the oil "spits" sometimes while you're cooking.

Repeat until all chicken is golden and cooked through.

You can serve this with whatever you want. I happened to serve it with my sesame ginger garlic kale. If you want to make that, here's my recipe.

What you will need:

Around 12 large leaves of kale chopped or 1/3 of a large bag

2 garlic cloves, minced

2 tsp toasted sesame oil

1/2 in fresh grated ginger root or a few shakes of ground ginger 

gluten-free soy or salt to taste

What you do:

Steam the kale and drain out any excess water.

Sauté garlic cloves and ginger root in a tiny bit of olive oil just until the garlic becomes tender.

Combine garlic, ginger, sesame oil, and soy (or salt) then drizzle over kale and toss to coat.

So, I've never made Indian food before, let alone attempted to make it without the traditionally used ingredients such as… flour. But one day I stumbled across the website www.myheartbeets.com which contained a recipe for 3-ingredient naan. (recipe here)

It was SO easy. The most difficult part was the required patience to cook them slowly enough so they wouldn't burn and still get a good texture. 

Like she mentioned, this naan is very different from traditional naan, but it's DELICIOUS. 

Since I was already going to experiment with the naan, I decided to be adventurous and also try her recipe for butter chicken. 

If you are entirely dairy free, substitute out the ghee with coconut oil, or really whatever oil suits your fancy. 

I think next time I may increase the quantities of some of the spices a pinch and add a bit more salt (I'm a salt fiend). Having never used some of those spices before, I stuck with using measuring spoons, which as you'll see from recipes that I create is a huge rarity.