Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

YOOOOOOO

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

YOOOOOOO

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

“I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love saying, Kiss me harder, and You’re a good person, and, You brighten my day. I live my life as straight-forward as possible. Because one day, I might get hit by a bus. Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them, feel like, in this very moment, you will die if you do not see them, hold them, touch them in some way whether its your feet on their thighs on the couch or your tongue in their mouth or your heart in their hands. But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate. And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care. We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans. We never know when the bus is coming.”

“Time heals all wounds. And if it doesn’t, you name them something other than wounds and agree to let them stay.”

“1. People will always tell you that you’re either too much or not enough. Sometimes, they will be wrong. Sometimes, they will be right. That’s okay. You’re worth loving, anyway. 2. I know you like to save people, I know. But a burning house cannot keep anyone it harbors safe. In the end, all that will be left is the remnants of “you tried”. If they try to set fire to your foundations, kick them out. They will be better off, anyway. 3. A lost cause is only that because no one has tried hard enough to find it, not because it is not worth saving. Remember that if you ever become one. 4. That feeling of emptiness you have really is temporary. I know you know it like the back of your hand, but one day it will be a stranger that you will barely recognize if it ever says hello again. 5. Anne with an ‘e’ taught you that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet. But, when tomorrow comes, and mistakes are everywhere, it’s important to remember that you are not the only one making them. 6. They say that if it won’t matter in a year, don’t worry about it. You have felt guilty and overemotional so many times for disobeying that rule. Don’t. You are just living in the present and feeling all of it. 7. Patience. Something will come eventually, even if it’s not what you asked for. Patience. 8. Stand up for those who laid down when you needed someone the most. Teach them kindness – someone else may reap the benefits, and life isn’t always about you. Remember that no one ever taught them to be kind, and they must have felt just as lonely as you. 9. Life is not always what you make of it. Sometimes others change it for the worse, or the better, but life is how you live it. 10. There is an endless seam of strength in you that will last your entire lifetime. The deeper you must dig, the more it will hurt, and the stronger you will be.”

“Aries — there was a war in your childhood home, and you can still remember the fires, how the blood was pretty and sick on the bathroom’s pristine tiles, your mother’s still warm body limp in the tub. breathe in through the mouth: in, out, in. you are not guilty. her life is not on your hands. Taurus — it is okay to love things more than you love people; practical, even. people have left you, people will leave you – things, though, ah! things will not abandon you. buy yourself something nice. it is the least bad out of all your choices. Gemini — you die every night and are reborn at dawn; you are a walking graveyard, an army of yesterdays’ ghosts, and you no longer remember who you were at the beginning. do not weep for the stranger that once inhabited your bones. Cancer — you are in love with the idea of love more than you are in love with your lovers; that is why all your relationships are fleeting, why you are always falling apart. all the same, smile when he proposes. pretend you do not know how this is going to end. Leo — oh, you poor, poor thing. all you have ever wanted was love’s sunlight, but all you ever got were the thunderstorms, the clouds above your head heavy with sorrow, and so you chose to drown out the rain between the thighs of a lover. do not regret it, for they were good nights. Virgo — you cradled your heart all your life with such care, and when the day came for you to hand it to another, it shattered like glass in their grip. they did not mean to hurt you, you know. they just wanted to hold on, afraid it will slip through their fingers like sand. Libra — you are the king of bad choices, from lovers to the fights you pick when you are far from sober; you lost your sanity along the line between what is right and what is not, and you started hungering. i fear the day your hunger will be quenched – only justice will sate you, and that calls for everyone’s dying. Scorpio — you are the one everyone fears: the monster in the closet, the witch at the stake – the devil, falling. all of this is because they cannot understand you. they fear you like they fear death; instinctively. do not mind them, for death is a kind god: the sweetest sleep, the darkness from which life is born. Sagittarius — some days, you think the sea is but a giant mirror, the vanity of coquettish stars and lazy clouds in passing. some days, you think it is the fury of our earth mother, her tears and her sorrow saltwater in the breeze. on all of them, you want to sail its’ lengths; you want to get lost out on the abyss, feel small beneath the sky. Capricorn — you learned early on the art of silent war – the war carried by words, sharper than any other blade. at the same time, you have learned how little you mattered to the world, and so you cast yourself in armor. i just wish you would learn to love yourself, if only a little. your own words have been cutting you all along. Aquarius — there is a sickness in you called longing: you’re wanton, thirsty, hungry, wanting – what, exactly, well, that is part two, and none of us is really sure. you’re standing here, hands reaching for; come inside. i will pour us both some wine, and we can pass the waiting time together. one day, you will know what you are lusting after. Pisces — all you have ever loved seems to be taken from you, until your house is left an empty, cold thing, and your soul has been turned into a ruin. do not despair; get up from the floor, dust your clothes. there are seeds on the upper shelves in the shed. it is a time as good as any to start keeping a garden.”