Bitch... with Wi-Fi

Step one: Look for a meme I reblogged.

Step two: Go to my ask.

Step three: Send it to me.

Or you can also do this:

Step one: Open the IM thing.

Step two: Yell HEY YOU ASSHOLE at me (but in a nice manner ofc).

[ text ]: STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD

[ text ]: Also there's a guy walking around in the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked is we've ever smoked weed with a shark being. i'm dying

[ text ]: Accepting his friends request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex

[ text ]: What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.

[ text ]: I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made

[ text ]: I have a knack for carnage and poetic language

[ text ]: Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast:1, Fucks given: 0

[ text ]: But how MUCH of an emergency? Like should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?

[ text ]: And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.

[ text ]: And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified

[ text ]: my bed is a shrine, and i am its goddess

[ text ]: you got into a really intense argument about protecting bees. it was weirdly arousing.

[ text ]: THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!

[ text ]: i need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?

[ text ]: i just told the sun to stop. That hungover

[ text ]: I know you're asleep but i just had a motherfucking epiphany

[ text ]: jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said I love sinning especially pre-marital sex.

[ text ]: just got yelled at by a priest...again

[ text ]: i don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me

[ text ]: you. me. a bottle of vodka. The Wilderness.

[ text ]: i mean obviously i like your dick, jury is out on you but your dick is good

[ text ]: i swear to the sweet baby jesus i didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.

[ text ]: NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.

[ text ]: because of him my new motto is 'Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.

[ text ]: FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS

[ text ]: I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.

[ text ]: I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that.

[ text ]: drunkeness level: fluent in olde norse

[ text ]: I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

[ text ]: dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts

[ text ]: on a scare of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7

[ text ]: there can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. get your shit together.

Feel free to add more!

"Are you sure you can trust him?"

"At least tell me when and where they're going to drop you off."

"They look kinda shady."

"I don't like him."

"Look, you're safety is my utmost concern, if they do anything funny, don't hesitate to call me."

"Check up with me when you move places or anything that might come up, alright?"

"You remember what I told you about these types of people, right?"

"I'm not trying to me protective, I just care about you."

"Be careful, don't forget to call!"

"Don't touch him/her/them!"

"Just what do you think you're doing?"

"Look, I may fight with my siblings, but once you lay a finger on them, you'll be facing me."

"Lay a finger on them, and that finger comes off."

"I'm keeping an eye out for you."

"They may trust you, but I know people like you who gains their trust before stabbing them in the back."

                  I           may           be

                                                           blonde

                       but                     I’m                      not