Mon Hon: My Personal Collections

Masaya akong kasama ka parang paskong ginugunita, makita kitang nakatawa kahit di iba ang iyong kasama.

sanay ma akong naiiwan isinasantabi sa daan, sanay di maranasan ang kalunglutan itong sakit ng kalooban.

na hinihiniling amg ako ang kasama tumawa, kiligin at lumigaya, pagkat bakit pa ako aasa kung iyon saaki'y hindi mo magawa.

"makuntento na ako kung anong meron ako", ang sabi nila sakin kaya ako sumusuko, na parang batang hindi na natuto na sa taong may mahal ay wag mahulog.

huwag akong alalahanin pa ako'y ayos sa anong ipadama hirap, sakin na aking nadarama hindi ko ipapakita at mamaskara

The melody of my dreams, the serenade of my heart that's all you give to me like the stars in the night sky, You are whole being in out shines like a work of art, The work i would look at until i resign.

I never felt this kind of bliss when I was with you the calm and warm feeling melts the heated tension in me I just hope that you are okay and I see you soon Wishing that that day is only an event closing in

frankly i don't know when, or how i got here but what i can tell and assure you that this is sincere I hope the message of this serenade of a poem you can hear my outbursts of emotions that I want you to feel.

What I dream a lot is going out with you we do stuff that normal couples do share hobbies, create memories, know new things about you, I just that it would be us and not just me and you.

This is where I stop, I want you out of my sight, the sights of you make me suffer more. As a piece of paper burns away your memory I hope you forget we ever had each other.

I want you to leave all of our memories behind, From the times, we hang out together, to the dates where we spend time with each other imagine a future where we will be together

You are joy, the one that makes my day The light that I need to see through the way to any tragedy come what may I'm fine with just you so please stay.

You're all dream off, good or bad you comfort me there when there is no good Wipes my tears when I feel sad Happy when I though of you lightens my mood

Mapamisalang sakuna na hindi nakikita sa sariling mga mata saatin ay sumusira

Delubyong idinudulot na saaatin din ay sumusisira COVID-19 na sa tao nagmula napapasa papunta sa iba

ngunit hindi ito rason para tayo ang magkalayo layo tayo na't magkapit bisig upang ito maiwasan

Sa kauntin pagiingat ,at pasunod sa batas tayo ay maliligtas pati na rin ang malimit na pagiwas a saati'y dapat napasabatas

isa na rin ang pagiging malinis sa sarili pagsuot ng face mask nakakapanatili na ang iyo ay iyo , at akin ay akin hindi pa lalong magkahawaan.

I want to give you a flower a flower that would give me chances chances that would give time for me explain to what I feel inside

i want to thank you for all the time we spent together the memories we made and the happiness we made along the way

but perhaps i was the only one happy the only one who thinks its worth it the one who thought i had a chance this immature ,silly me

I still don't know how to get you nor do i know if i really have that chance but I'm done waiting , waiting for you to see me

Like a flower given to a lover the memories are still fresh but freshness doesn't last and the flower will wither and die

that's why am thanking you for making my feelings fresh and lively but it's its time to wither and die and i have to suffer the pain

I hope you find happiness as well in this cruel and unjust world I was never there but i kept my existence alive

even you haven't noticed

as it start grow on you

you can never let it go, that

feeling, happiness,joy

or i should call temporary bliss

cause as it stays longer, the more you will feel

that those feelings were yours only

and isn't for the both party

love is my trauma,something that came out of my nightmares

it comes to me every night

just to know it just in my head

Help me I'm drowning in things I don't want to see/

My heart aching like a million needles struck me/

Head breaking like a shell destroyed gonna be

A change in me, your version of me.

May it be the eyes of how I see

or mouth I speak to you frequently,

to the body that tingles whenever you're near me

to the heart that's empty, emptied for you only

I don't want to see myself hurting you,

With things I promised to protect you with

if only had the power to make things possible

Please turn me into a perfect man for you

I like you, so I want you to like me,

not only because I said so

I want you to look and see

that I can make your heart beat also

But alas the distance so afar

rivers and mountains can't compare to how apart

we are almost to each other's timelines apart,

as I grow old for you ever were.

I have no Idea of this term love

And that's why I want you to teach me

what those nuances made you suffer

To quote: "Was I the problem" Summer leaves gone away as autumn leaves start to grow on the branches of we once were

It was bright, warm filled days as the sun above gave the signs to live out this day For one may never know when it will come again

As I thought I was happy,Rain can also come Disaster strikes at moment and sadness rain the land. Sorrow, grief, Sadness , and Dispair All that can be heard from your voice alone

You were in pain, I tried to comfort you. You were alone, I gave you company You were sad, I made you smile You don't want me, I move back to where I belong

I thought I was smarter , but it was the latter. I thought that if I understand what i means to be me, I can understand everything. Yet I was wrong, wrong from he very start I didn't knew that I would go over the same cycle all over again.

I knew it like this:

I met you , I have fun

I have fun, wanting to know you more,

By knowing you more i get to see sides of you, sides that you don't see to other people much,

I feel that I am the trusted one, but in the end I was the one manipulated.

I confess, and gets rejected.

Its either because of my apperance or the way you see me.

As a brother , as a Comfort giver but never as someone as your lover.

I can never be your lover ..... you never saw that way.

I feel devastated and sad swearing never to fall again .

…

And the cycle restarts again.

I am a friend… Just a friend

So who am I to meddle with her life who is bad from my perspective? She has to realize that herself but the more I do it, the more I indulge the “me” in self-hatred that I don’t if she can remove. 

I am afraid, confused not knowing what to do so I panic just kike any guy would do to whoever he tried to save but she just keeps getting farther, and farther and farther…

“NO!!!!!!” I scream as I wake up in buckets of sweat and catch my breath. “Some nightmare I just had,” I said to myself as I got up and get ready for the day. But as I start moving, I look at the picture on the left side of my bed. It was me and lei. Then I told myself, “Nope… Not a dream”

It was me and her on our trip to the countryside for some camping. But that wasn’t important, isn’t it.

This bittersweet sad loner you imagine is me, Wayde, and I wasn’t like this, I was someone can call an extrovert... Of .. sorts...

This all started because of her. 

I loved a girl…Big mistake

She was the one you can call similar to a summer love but instead, this was Seasonal Love this kind of love for me is unrequited. 

It hurts.

Lei was amazing. She can do all sorts of stuff and get to be what she wants to be without the encouragement of another person and she’s great and all stuff except for one thing. She suffers from social anxiety and only interacts with those people because she knows them and got along well with them. But when I deals with this ever since I met her on that in between a blessing or a curse, spring day when everyone is preparing to do normal lives. She was preparing to go to college and I met her just by the gate of the school. 

I am a man of few words but I greeted her with a smile.

“Are you gonna enroll too?”

“Oh yes, uhm… I am just waiting f-for my friend to come ”, she said stuttering

“Oh I’m Wayde by the way an enrollee to”

“Lei, nice to meet you.”

Then we talked and talked uninterrupted talking about why she enrolled and her troubles with talking to other people.

“It just looked scary as people gaze through me like I’m some ice cream that’s about to melt, just like when I talked to you a while ago.”

“Oh Sorry, it just seemed that  you seemed lost back there like a pup on the street.”

“No I don’t,” she said and chuckled, “Ooh my friend’s here,” she said as a guy walk towards us.

”Wayde, this is Luke, my friend since high school” 

“Sup bro” as he offered a hand and so I accepted it as a friendly gesture

“ Say, you’re going to enroll right? Want to come with us?” she asked out of the blue

“Won’t I be a bother” I responded

“Why would you be a bother,  we will meet either way at the office”

“Oh yeah, well then, I would gladly take your offer.” since then we have been friends for the rest of our days in college. We had our laughs we had fights and in the end, we forgive one another and become closer and closer. 

But I was the one that was changing. I started feeling intimate with my time together with lei so I asked about this to luke.

“Duude no..” Luke said with every amount of disapproval in his body at that moment, “You know how bad you do with women. If you confess to her, all those times, all those memories will be gone in a snap and you will pain you never felt before.”

“Are you a poet in your previous life?” 

“Dude, I’m serious here. If you don’t want to be crushed by your feelings…DON’T CONFESS. Period.”

“Okay okay, thanks”

He told me that and that was all everything I have to know. Not to confess but wait for the right moment. So I held back my feelings and continued being her friend and it was fine I think since we were all fine.

Fast forward to 3 years time , we are on our last year in this school and about to graduate. Lei began to have feelings for the president of the student council, Ned who was at that moment was our age and batch. Then did I feel a slight pinch at the side of my body with was bearable but painful.

“So are you going to confess to him?” I asked after being confronted by lei in private to talk about how she felt for Ned. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

 “Sure, I’m going to cheer you on as a friend should.”

“Aww thanks.”

And that’s where the nightmare started.

Back to the present where I just woke up and see the picture from my left did I notice the invitation I want to forget that was there. 

If only I was to tell her through the times we spent together. I only I mustered up the courage to tell three easy words. 

Would’ve been different? 

Will there be changes between you and I?

Will a be able to give you such happiness than what he’s giving you?

Guess not.

You are a smile 

A smile that never fades

A figure that can never be easily removed

But can only be changed.

Depending on your mood it changes,

Depending on your thoughts, we see it

A figure that cannot be moved, 

A figure that we always see.

At the times that we are awake

The times that we are doing all work

All is seen, all is clear 

masaya akong kasama ka, nakikita ka na tumatawa, pero hindi mo lang alam, na masakit na sya, na mapapagkamalan mo na akong.

sadista, sa sarili kong pagiisip, na kailangan masaya ka para ako ay sumaya, kung ang malalaman ko na iyong halakhak, ay dulot pala niya at hindi ang sayong harapan, na pilit pinapasabi na minamahal kita.

na kahit na anong hirap na ang dinanas, ay wala ka maintindihan sa sakit na ito. na akala mo ay normal lang  kasi tao ako, nararamdaman na minamahal mo ang taong di ka kayang mahalin pabalik.

kahit na gusto mong lumayo ay hindi, pipiliin na lamang na hindi marindi, sa mga araw araw na ako'y iyong katabi, sinasabi na ayaw ko na pero gusto ko.

na naniisip ka na sa sarili ko na, putang ina baliw ka na. pero yun lang pala ay dahil kausap kita

How can you be so amazingly cold when you can warm to others

when you see them smile at you, you smile back,

when they laugh with you, you laugh with them as response.

They are your friends so you blend with them,

But what do you call me? Am I a friend?

You see me as that, but you don’t show me 

you tell me that but you don’t act it to me.

Its a never ending game of hide and seek

when I am about to find you, you search another

like I’m sort of monster at your never ending nightmare.

It hurts...It hurts like hell.

But you can’t know that right?

‘Cause you don’t care, you don’t see

when you don’t see, you don’t care

Manga is a type of textbook wherein it is in monochrome coloring and can be compared to a comic. Its origin is what makes it different. Asian countries like Korea, China, Japan, etc. make manga and Especially japan.

I read a ton of mangas so far and I looked for what are my likes and “despises”. I call them despises for the reason that it wasn’t clicked to my taste of what a manga should do to a person. I think mangas that you are to read should be something that interests you basing in the following: Title , Genre , and Sy nopsis (Basing on how I hunt for a book).

TITLE:

Titles are what advertise the whole book. The title should be at least eye catching that will make the book hunters think “Hey this title is interesting“. Long titles which other may think as a crazy and weird will be a factor for the author to easily advertise their masterpiece. (It may not be a masterpiece for them butthe are for the readers!!).

GENRE:

Genres are what makes the introductions to what the readers should expect in the pages they will be reading. The genre introduces the reader’s mind to the world of imaginations and how will they think the casts of the manga will act out if the cast will be fighting, crack jokes, start love... and even making--- MOREOVER!!! the genre will set the mood and  foreshadow the emotions the readers will be seeing.

SYNOPSIS:

By my opinion, the synopsis serves as a way to introduce the whole story without spoiling the contents. Rather, what it will contain will be the one deciding factor if it will match the ideals of the reader. Me, After I read the synopsis, I think about whether this may come out good or bad.

Honestly, I don’t care about crappy illustrations, as long as the plot is clear and I may be able to understand the portrayals the book has to show then that is enough for me. Books are supposed to be the one to bring out ideas , emotions and mostly imaginations that may take you to unexpected places , scenarios and by then will the reader realize that reading is fun. Illustrations are what helps in the imagining. So love books , Love manga.

If you like to read manga now online, go to manganato.com.

If you like to buy manga, go to https://global.bookwalker.jp/ 

A tip for new readers of manga.