Habits of Mind

First of all, Nicole Kidman looks older than Clive Owen. Why couldn't they have cast a younger actor like Emma Stone? She could handle the role as well, or better than Kidman. Not so sure Owen was well-cast either, but I have less opinion on him.

Ah, here we go. It's the holidays and all the holiday television specials that you enjoyed as a child are coming out of the proverbial TV tube. Grab some Christmas Cookies, some hot cocoa with marshmallows, a blanket to wrap around yourself (and throw over your head when the scary parts - there are always scary parts - appear), and curl up on the couch for the evening. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is on the television tonight; sure to bring wonder, toys, and bullies to the small screen. Hold on. Bullies?! It's true. The majority of the the television special is fraught with Rudolph and his sidekicks being bullied by not only Rudolph's father, but also Santa Claus. Teachers take note: this is the perfect time to discuss bullies in the classroom.

Donner, Rudolph's father, bullies Rudolph at home and Comet belittles Rudolph in front of Rudolph's peers who, in turn, bully and shun him. Even Santa shuns Rudolph. Santa?! Santa is supposed to be a kind and jolly, old elf. The head elf bullies and belittles Hermy, the elf who wants to be a dentist rather than a toymaker. The Island of Misfit Toys is populated by toys castoff by their owners because they are different. Not until there is a real need for the unique and extraordinary qualities of these misfit characters, do the bullies acknowledge the importance of these characters. Just like every individual, we are all unique and worthy of other people's respect no matter race, religion, goofy looks, quirky thoughts, sexual orientation, or any reason one may feel the need to bully another.

Does Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer really advocate bullying as Fox News and others have discussed lately, or does the show teach viewers to stay true to one's self  and one's dreams? At the end of the show all of the characters who were bullied and ostracized become an integral part of their community. True, it does take the majority of the show for the characters to accept Rudolph and his friends, but the point is they are accepted despite their differences. They all have unique, extraordinary qualities that make them vital to the show.

We all know that using videos are part of the teaching curriculum, so why not take "Rudolph" and use it to teach students awareness, self-respect, compassion, and tolerance? Being able to teach about bullying using a widely-viewed television show will get the students' attention.Point out that Comet and Santa Claus were bullies and disrespectful to Rudolph just because his nose was different. Why should it take Santa so long to recognize Rudolph's extraordinary talent as a reindeer? What's wrong with an elf wanting to be a dentist rather than a toymaker? Don't we tell our children they can be/do anything they want when they grow up? And misfit toys? Why, there are any number of children who long for a toy, no matter the unique qualities the toy may have.

Analyze the song, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" with the class and discuss the lyrics with the students. Break them into groups, assigning a couple of lines per group to dissect and discuss. Why did the other reindeer laugh and call him names and not let him play in reindeer games? Why did it take a foggy Christmas Eve for Santa to realize Rudolph's qualities as an important asset to Santa's team? Point out that Rudolph was the character to go out in search of his family when they went missing.

A teacher in Gainseville, Georgia also posted a cross-curricular lesson plan for Rudolph that does a nice job of addressing self-respect and compassion.

Other Resources:

Here is a resource for teaching tolerance and recognizing qualities of abully from Signe Whitson, a Huffington Post contributor, as well as a child and adolescent therapist:

Rule 1: Don't Go It Alone

A bully's main strategy is to make a victim feel alone and powerless. The best way to counter a bully's strategy is to tell a helpful adult about what is going on and ask for that adult's support. When a bully realizes that he will not be able to keep a victim isolated -- that the victim is strong enough to reach out and connect with others -- the bully begins to lose power.

Sometimes adults fail to acknowledge the seriousness of bullying, but more often, grown-ups are not aware of what is going on. These days, bullies use the internet and other behind-the-scenes ways to hurt others that tend not to be noticed by adults. It is a kid's job to create awareness in adults about bullying.

Rule 2: Don't Wait!

Bullying usually begins in a relatively mild form -- name calling, teasing, or minor physical aggression -- then becomes more serious when the bully realizes that his victim is not going to stand up for himself. The longer a bully has power over a victim, the stronger the hold becomes.

Taking action against the bully -- and taking it sooner rather than later -- is the best way to gain and retain power.

Rule 3: Don't Beat Around the Bush!

The more a bully thinks he can pick on a victim without a direct response, the more he will do it. Assertiveness is the essential middle ground between aggressive comebacks that invite further conflict and passive responses that allow personal boundaries to be violated. Simple, straightforward, unemotional responses are effective in standing up to bullies because they portray confidence.

Rule 4: Don't Mix Signals!

Assertive responses combine the use of direct words with assertive body language and tone of voice. Talk to your child about using a calm, even tone of voice when talking to a bully, as a way of showing confidence. Show your child how to stand an appropriate distance from the bully, in order to demonstrate that he is not easily intimidated. Lastly, have your child practice looking you directly in the eye when he speaks. Maintaining eye contact is a mark of emotionally honest and direct communication and one of the best ways for your child to indicate that he's not ripe for the bully's picking.

Check out Dr. Warren Throckmorton's PDF on bullying prevention in schools. It includes lesson plans on bullying for elementary, middle and high schools.

Educationworld.com has a great list of resources for educators on dealing with bullies and teaching tolerance

There is something funny about language. It is not always what we hear, but sometimes what we think. The following is a conversation I had with my 12 year old very early this morning on the way to school, and yes, I am still Mommy:

Si: Mommy I am pretty sure that I am bringing Amanda Lin home after school today. Me: You are? Si: Yep. Me: Okay. Who is Amanda Lin? Si:Blank stare. Me: Who is she? Si: What? Me: Amanda Lin. Who is she? Si: Orchestra has mandolins that they loan out... Me: Ohhh! I thought you were talking about a person. Si: Crazy laughter. (silly parents!) She was still laughing about it on the way in to school. Did I mention it was early?