Do your homework.

Rihanna - Rude Boy

“I think the 80’s was a dark time for both of our heads of hair. I told Roger to get rid of all the pictures of my awful mullet but knowing him, he probably still has them in an album somewhere oh God. I was trying to look like Poison but I ended up looking like Cyndi Lauper.”

“Haha, oh shit! I’d almost forgotten about that fucking mullet! You really did look like Cyndi Lauper. I’m sure he still has all those pictures… he probably still has all the home movies, too. Remember when we went to that Adam and the Ants concert, and we both got all dressed up? I did your makeup for you and Roger video taped us getting ready…”

"Actually it was three weeks and a day. I wore a glove over that hand the entire time and there was an intervention and everything. Roger threatened to abort me if I didn't wash it and I was scared that he could actually figure out how to abort a ten year old so I just did what he told me to do. Remember when I had a girlfriend and every time I brought her over Roger would try to check her for a penis?"

“Uh… huh. Well, I bet that’s the other reason why he was really glad to have me be able to come home finally. I kinda evened you out a bit so you weren’t eating a village worth of junk food and turning the pool into Jell-o anymore.”

Huff. “Well, I can’t help if I was a free-spirited youth! I just thought outside the box, that was all. …But, you did help keep me in line sometimes. Oh man, remember that time I was going to run away and walk all the way to Sidney? I had my backpack full of jello cups and toys. I don’t remember why I wanted to run away, though…”

“I think that was that time that Roger was trying to cut your hair for picture day at school. You kept saying you wanted to look like Tawny Kitaen in that Whitesnake video which quite frankly, freaked him out more than the fact that you were refusing to cut your hair.”

“…oh, yeah. I remember that. I think that was around the time Roger started suspecting I wasn’t entirely straight… well, Tawny Kitaen was fierce in that video and I was really upset he made me eventually cut my hair. But he stopped caring eventually when I was taking pictures of Madonna to the salon and asking them to do my hair like hers.”

“I think the 80’s was a dark time for both of our heads of hair. I told Roger to get rid of all the pictures of my awful mullet but knowing him, he probably still has them in an album somewhere oh God. I was trying to look like Poison but I ended up looking like Cyndi Lauper.”

"Haha, oh shit! I'd almost forgotten about that fucking mullet! You really did look like Cyndi Lauper. I'm sure he still has all those pictures... he probably still has all the home movies, too. Remember when we went to that Adam and the Ants concert, and we both got all dressed up? I did your makeup for you and Roger video taped us getting ready..."

“Uh… huh. Well, I bet that’s the other reason why he was really glad to have me be able to come home finally. I kinda evened you out a bit so you weren’t eating a village worth of junk food and turning the pool into Jell-o anymore.”

Huff. “Well, I can’t help if I was a free-spirited youth! I just thought outside the box, that was all. …But, you did help keep me in line sometimes. Oh man, remember that time I was going to run away and walk all the way to Sidney? I had my backpack full of jello cups and toys. I don’t remember why I wanted to run away, though…”

“I think that was that time that Roger was trying to cut your hair for picture day at school. You kept saying you wanted to look like Tawny Kitaen in that Whitesnake video which quite frankly, freaked him out more than the fact that you were refusing to cut your hair.”

"...oh, yeah. I remember that. I think that was around the time Roger started suspecting I wasn't entirely straight... well, Tawny Kitaen was fierce in that video and I was really upset he made me eventually cut my hair. But he stopped caring eventually when I was taking pictures of Madonna to the salon and asking them to do my hair like hers."

“…I asked him for some pictures from when we were kids and he sent me one of me sitting naked in a tub full of milk eating oreos when I was five. Shanks, I don’t remember doing that.”

“…I… I don’t remember you doing that at all either. Jesus Christ, Roger was probably pissed, wasn’t he? I mean hell, I remember that thing you did with the Jell-o and the pool, but not… Oreos.” 

“I remember when he first brought me home and we were still waiting for you, he’d stocked the house with tons of delicious junk food for our arrival. I ate all of it in about a week. He was pretty pissed, he made me eat nothing but vegetables for a month.”

“Uh… huh. Well, I bet that’s the other reason why he was really glad to have me be able to come home finally. I kinda evened you out a bit so you weren’t eating a village worth of junk food and turning the pool into Jell-o anymore.”

Huff. "Well, I can't help if I was a free-spirited youth! I just thought outside the box, that was all. ...But, you did help keep me in line sometimes. Oh man, remember that time I was going to run away and walk all the way to Sidney? I had my backpack full of jello cups and toys. I don't remember why I wanted to run away, though..."

“…I asked him for some pictures from when we were kids and he sent me one of me sitting naked in a tub full of milk eating oreos when I was five. Shanks, I don’t remember doing that.”

“…I… I don’t remember you doing that at all either. Jesus Christ, Roger was probably pissed, wasn’t he? I mean hell, I remember that thing you did with the Jell-o and the pool, but not… Oreos.” 

"I remember when he first brought me home and we were still waiting for you, he'd stocked the house with tons of delicious junk food for our arrival. I ate all of it in about a week. He was pretty pissed, he made me eat nothing but vegetables for a month."

"...I asked him for some pictures from when we were kids and he sent me one of me sitting naked in a tub full of milk eating oreos when I was five. Shanks, I don't remember doing that."

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